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ELT- 702 Academic Writing

Data commentary

by, Betl GLERYZ

Osman AYDOAR

16.03.2012


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While data commentaries may be "stand-alone"

pieces of writing, they generally occur in theResults or Discussion sections of a report orthesis.

The main purposes of a data commentary are to

present the results of research, interpret theseresults, and to discuss the significance andimplications of the results.


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Data can often be best expressed by a chart,

graph, table, or other illustration.

The type of writing that accompanies a visualdisplay is called data commentary.


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The data should be presented and analysed in logical manner;

in other words you are expected to analyse and evaluate thedata, not just describe it.


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Why use a data commentary?

Highlight results

Assess standard theories, common beliefs, or

generals practices in light of the results Compare and evaluate different data sets

Assess the reliability of data in terms of the methodsthat produced it


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Discuss implications of the data

Calls attention to something not directly apparent

from the table, chart, or graph.

Analyzes data for a reason: to support a claim which

in turn helps achieve the main goal of the paper.


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Structure of Data Commentary

Data commentaries usually have the followingelements in the following order.

1. Location elements and/or summary statements

2. Highlighting statements

3. Discussions of implications, problems, exceptions,

recommendations, etc.


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Paragraph structure of a data commentary:

Topic sentence (claim)

Location elements and summaries (support)

Highlights (examples)

Implications (restatement of claim)


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Highlighting Statements The central sections of data commentaries consist of

highlighting statements.

Highlighting statements are generalizations that youcan draw from the details of the data display.

Highlighting statements need good judgment.

They are an opportunity to show your intelligence..


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In particular, they are an opportunity for you todemonstrate that you can spot trends or regularities in the data,

that you can separate more important findings from lessimportant ones, and

that you can make claims of appropriate strength


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So, do not

simply repeat all the details in words,

attempt to cover all the information, or

claim more than is reasonable or defensible.


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Verbs for introducing highlights:

Table 2 shows the most common factors are Figure 2.3 illustrates the results of a study

that

Table 9 demonstrates how the use of

the most common are displayedin Table 3.

details of the operation aregiven in Figure

4.4.

these qualities are suggestedby Figure 9.3. Other verbs:provide,present, summarize, reveal,

indicate


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Language Focus: Linking as-Clauses

These linking clauses (where as does not equal since orbecause) are exceptional in English grammar. In thepassive, these linking clauses have no subjects. Comparethe following sentences.

a. As it has been proved, the theory may have practicalimportance.

b. As has been proved, the theory may have practicalimportance.

In sentence a there is a causal relationship between theas-clause and the main clause. Because the theory hasbeen proved, it may have practical importance.


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Some Specific ways for qualifying or moderating a

claim 1-Probability


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2-Distance


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3-Generalization


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4-Weaker verbs


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Indicative Summary - Indicates what has been done in the work.

Table 5 shows the most common modes of computerinfection for U.S. businesses.

Figure 4.2 gives the results of the second experiment.


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Indicating the strengths of data resultsA reduced speed limit will result in fewer

accidents.

A reduced speed limit may result in fewer accidents.A reduced speed limit could result in fewer

accidents.

It is certain that

It is almost certain that

It is highly probable that


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It ispossible that

It is unlikely that

There is a strong possibility that There is a slight possibility that

There is a remote possibility that


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Informative Summary - Provides a summary of the data.

Table 5 shows that home disks are the major source ofcomputer viruses.

Table 4.2 suggests that the experimental resultsconfirm the hypothesis.


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Table 5. Means of PC Infection in U.S. Businesses

Source Percentage

Disks from home

Electronic bulletin board

Sales demonstration disk Repair or service disk

Company, client, or consultant disk

Other Undetermined

43%

7%

6%

6%

4%

9% 29%


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1) A computer virus is a program that is specifically and

maliciously designed to attack a computer system, destroyingdata. 2) As businesses have become increasingly dependenton computer systems, concern over the potentialdestructiveness of such viruses has also grown. 3) Table 5shows the most common modes of infection for U.S.

businesses.-location and indicative summary

4) As can be seen, in the majority of cases, the source of thevirus infection can be detected, with disks being brought tothe workplace from home being by far the most significant(43%). 5) However, it is alarming to note that the source ofnearly 30% of viruses cannot be determined.-highlightment


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6) While it may be possible to eliminate home-to-workplace infection by requiring computer users to runantiviral software on diskettes brought from home,

businesses are still vulnerable to major data loss,especially from unidentifiable sources of infection.

-implications


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Combined qualificationsA strong claim


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We add some qualifications


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We have a new claim:


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Passive voice:

a. The most common modes of infection are shown inTable 5.

b. Details of the fertilizers used are provided in Table2.

c. The results of the second experiment are given inFigure 4.2.


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Passive Verbs in Reference to a Visual

Shown in

Illustrated in

Presented in

Given in Listed in

Seen in

Provided in Summarized in

Seen from


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Active voice:

a. Table 5 shows the most common modes ofcomputer infections.

b. Table 2 provides details of the fertilizer used.

c. Figure 4.2 gives the results of the secondexperiment


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Active Verbs Following Reference to a Visual

Shows *Presents

Illustrates *Summarizes

Demonstrates *Contains Provides *Depicts

Lists

Reports


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In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys

are more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year old

children were observed playing in schoolyards and incidents

of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded.

Aggressivebehavior Girls Boys

Pushing 21% 35%

Kicking/Hitting 15% 61%

Cursing 9% 30%

Chasing 78% 1%


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Commentary 1 In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boysare more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year oldchildren were observed playing in schoolyards and

incidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded.2)Table 1 shows that boys are more aggressive than girls.3)The percentage of pushing is 21% of girl; on the otherhand that of boys is 35%. 4)Except for chasing, thepercentage of aggressive behavior is higher in boys.

5)From this data you can agree that boys are moreaggressive than girls. (Rating: 73)


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Commentary 2

In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys

are more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year oldchildren were observed playing in schoolyards andincidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded.2)As you can see in Table 1, we only considered fourhuman aggressive behaviors in our study. 3)The mostcommon children aggressive conduct are pushing,kicking/hitting, cursing, and chasing. 4)After severalweeks of observation in different schools playground wefound the percentage that appeared on table 1. 5) (See

attachment 1) 6) Sixty percent (61%) of the boys like tokick and hit compared to fifteen percent (15%) of the girls.7)This is more aggressive than chasing. 8)The chasingbehavior was the only one girls were more aggressive thanboys. (Rating: 77)


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Commentary 3 In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys

are more aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year oldchildren were observed playing in schoolyards andincidents of certain aggressive behaviors were recorded.2)It was assumed that aggressive behavior consisted of thefollowing: i) pushing, ii) kicking and hitting, iii) cursing,

and iv) chasing. 3)As can be seen from the table above, theaverage 8-year old boy was more aggressive than the 8-year old girls. 4)Chasing was the one behavior that wasmore pronounced for the girls. 5)This result, however,does not disprove the theory since chasing seems to be a

less aggressive behavior than the other behaviors thatwere tested. 6The 8-year old boys got more involved withthe more aggressive behavior, which is kicking/hitting,much more than the 8-year old girls. (Rating: 93)


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Commentary 4 In order to investigate the hypothesis that 8-year old boys are more

aggressive than 8-year old girls, 8-year old children were observed

playing in schoolyards and incidents of certain aggressive behaviorswere recorded. 2)At first glance it appears that 8-year old boys exhibitmore aggressive behavior than 8-year old girls if all four recordedbehaviors are equally weighed. 3)But, this last assertion is false.4)Since the ability to record will vary with playground size and the

number of observers (not to mention the skills of the observers oraccounting for children entering or leaving the playground), and that ittakes a certain amount of an observer's time to note the behavior,short-lived behaviors such as cursing or pushing could be under-represented. 5)Simply because more can occur during the time anobserver notes another behavior. 6)Conversely, long-lived behaviorssuch as chasing could be over-represented because they occur over alonger period of time and thus allow more latitude for the observermarking the behavior. (Rating: 93)

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