WRIT ING
UNIT 8 Growth and Development74
B Read the information in the Language bite above and study the following paragraph. Look at theunderlined words in the paragraph. To what previous ideas in the paragraph do they refer to?
I believe that age is not the only factor that affects how mature or responsiblechildren are. In some families, even very young children are given adult responsibilities.1 They might have to look after younger 2 members of the family while their parentswork, or 3 they might have to do a lot of work around the house. In other families,however, 4 the housework 5 may be taken care of by the parents. In households 6 such as these, the children may not develop any sense of responsibility until muchlater in life.
1 ......................... 3 ......................... 5 .........................2 ......................... 4 ......................... 6 .........................
C Look at the following paragraph. The ideas are all relevant to the essay question in 1A above, but theyare poorly organised and the language is very repetitive. Rewrite the paragraph so that similar ideas aregrouped together. Use language from the Language bite to find a way to avoid repeating the samewords.
Teenagers often feel frustrated because of the attitude of their parents. If parentsdo not trust them, how can teenagers ever learn to be responsible? Teenagers arereally young adults and teenagers don’t want to be treated like children any more.Eventually parents need to trust their children and allow them to develop forthemselves. If teenagers are treated like children then they will probably continue tobehave like children.
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Avoiding repetition
When you refer back to an idea you have alreadymentioned you can try to avoid repeating thesame words and phrases.
Use a synonym:There are many explanations for this. Onetheory is …
Use a passive verb form:Eyes can sometimes appear red in somephotographs. ‘Red eye’ is caused by …
Use a subject pronoun to refer back to aperson or thing:
Gregor Mendel is considered to be the founder ofgenetics. He used his knowledge of statistics to…
Use words like: this, that, such to refer backto a whole idea:
Identical twins do not have identical fingerprints.However, this can only be discerned by experts.
In formal essaywriting you need tomake sure thatyour ideas are wellorganised and thatsimilar or linkedideas go together.We often start asentence with anidea then referback to this idea atthe start of thenext sentence. Thisallows the ideas toflow more easily.
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WRIT ING
UNIT 8 Growth and Development 75
Academic Writing Task 2: EssayBefore the taskRead the question below and decide whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Make alist of points to support your opinion. Make sure that supporting information is relevant to thequestion and decide on examples to back up each reason.
Task practiceYou should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Adulthood should begin when children are old enough to be responsible for their actions.They should wait until they are at least 21 years old before they can drive a car or vote inelections. 18 is far too young.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge orexperience.
You should write at least 250 words.
Follow upLook at the model essay on page 90. Write a plan for the essay showing which ideas arementioned in each paragraph. Look carefully at how the writer has avoided repetition whenreferring back to an idea. Then check that you have done the same in your own essay.
Essay Plan
Introduction....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Paragraph 1....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Paragraph 2....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Conclusion....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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