FACS 56 life management
getting along with others
begin with yourself
successful relationships are based on beliefs and values that support a positive self-esteem
three values that contribute to good relationships are:
•trust•respect•empathy
begin with yourself
trust:you can rely on someone else and they can rely on you
respect:you value the other person and they value you
empathy:you can experience another person’s feelings or ideas as if they were your own
conflicts and your values
people value different things—sometimes do not agree on what is right and what is wrong
most people do not give much thought to what is right or wrong until they are involved in a conflict of values
conflicts and your values
laws and rules of society set a minimum standard to follow—ethical standards may be set higher
when faced with an ethical dilemma ALWAYS take the time to clarify your values
determine how you feel about the situation and what effect the questionable behavior has on others
conflicts and your values
life management skills that can help you with conflicts:
•value clarification•setting standards•communication skills•active listening techniques•assertiveness
nurturing good relationships
with some attention to the needs of others, most of our relationships can be successful
1.really listen for underlying meaning—even though you are busy, give your FULL attention
nurturing good relationships
with some attention to the needs of others, most of our relationships can be successful
2.building relationships requires focus of BOTH individuals—people who focus on personal growth can handle negative feedback constructively
• learn from negative feedback• realize that you don’t have to agree• consider the source• ask for specific information• think about it
nurturing good relationships
3.important to set CLEAR boundaries• physical—the right to control your body
and your possessions• emotional boundaries—the right to
respectful treatment from others• intellectual boundaries—right to express
ideas and opinions• spiritual boundaries—the right to stand
up for your values and beliefs
once we set the boundaries we need to be assertive and enforce them
conflict is normal
it is normal and predictable that once two people have spent some time together they will disagree about something
remember—everyone loses in a power struggle
conflict can have healthy and productive results if handled in a fair assertive manner
four aspects of successful negotiation
when conflict arises good communication skills & boundaries are extremely important
1.separate the people from the problem• see ourselves on the same side—attacking the
problem; not one another2.focus on interests not positions
• find areas of common agreement3.invent options for mutual gain
• brainstorm alternatives that allow each side to get what they need most
4.base results on objective criteria• agreed upon by all parties—expert opinion, law
conflict resolution options
as we go through the different options, ask yourself if you have ever used each option
•dominance—one side gets its own way
•voluntary submission—one side voluntarily gives in to the other
•conversion—one side persuades the other & both parties are satisfied
conflict resolution options
•accepting differences—both sides accept the right of the other to choose & make an independent decision
•compromise—choose an option acceptable to both sides; not the first choice of either party
•integration—all parties strive to find mutual gains; arrive at a new, better solution to the problem
participation activity:what would you do? pg. 214
…form groups of four…each person in the group gets to play a certain role: bus driver, bus company manager, elderly woman, reporter…read the situation…complete the assigned task
FACS 56 life management
functioning in groups
groups: an overview
sometimes it is thrust upon you…sometimes you volunteer
some last for only minutes…others will last a lifetime
understanding how they work can help you to be an effective groupmember and expand your leadership skills
groups: an overview
group dynamics is the study of how people interact in groups
how do you interact?
groups consist of two or more people that consciously interact with the intent of working to achieve a goal
groups: an overview
groups have:•roles for their members•norms and standards of behavior•communication patterns•a degree of cohesiveness
the more explicitly defined, the more formal
formal groups: families, businesses, schoolsinformal groups: movie audience, friends at a party
what groups are you currently a member of?
participating in groups: rules, norms & goals
think about the last group you joined—were your first few interactions awkward?
most likely you were observing the group dynamics and analyzing the roles & norms in order to fit in better
participating in groups: rules, norms & goals
roleset of expected behaviors for a particular position
normsstandards or rules that measure behavior
you will be more comfortable if you choose behaviors that suit both the group & your role within the group
participating in groups: rules, norms & goals
all groups have goals—stated or not
cooperative goals—people in group work together to achieve common objective
competitive—people work against one another to be the winner and gain the reward
many times you will encounter a goal that is both cooperative & competitive
examples?
participating in groups: rules, norms & goals
cohesiveness is the emotional bonding that exists between group members cohesiveness
connectedness separateness
too connected—lose objectivitytoo separate—lack of commitment & interest
balanced middle position is optimal
analyzing group structure and behavior
you can improve how you interact with others through analysis
•how are goals established?•are they cooperative? competitive? both?•who is the leader? dominant? controlling?•is there a dependent worker?•a facilitator?•a few who seem to run the whole show?•a supportive leader who shares authority?•what are the norms? rules?
observe carefully
leading in groups
a leader has more than a title
each of us influences and leads people around us through our words and actions
a leader has a vision and is able to communicate and share it with others
leadership is a set of behaviors, beliefs and values that enable one person to persuade others to act
family compared to other groups
unique—first group ever, membership is not voluntary, continues for a lifetime and beyond
roles and norms of family change and evolve as the age and needs of the members change
family compared to other groups
the goal of family is not profit—but quality of life—resource allocation based on different goals and values than those of business
operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year…much more than any other group
most cohesive group to which you will belong
homework activity:roles, roles, roles pg. 220
…use the chart on page 221 to identify a minimum of 12 different roles that you play…match each role to a group…identify at least one expectation or norm that goes with each role