Sapient - Communicate Powerfully (Without Being A You-Know-What)

(Without Being A You-Know-What)

withMichelle Villalobos(vee - ya - low - bos)

CommunicatePowerfully

1

1. Establish Your Brand

3

Are you known for where you’re GOING

or for where you’ve BEEN?4

Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.

5

http://www.MivistaConsulting.com


“No matter what she

accomplishes or how she

reinvents herself to the

public, she'll always be the

first lady of scandal.”

By Piper Weiss, Shine Staff | Love + Sex – Wed, Aug 17, 2011 10:34 PM EDT

6

http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/author/piper-weiss-shine-staff-ycn-1137177/

http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/author/piper-weiss-shine-staff-ycn-1137177/

http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/love-sex/

http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/love-sex/

The Lewinsky Effect: If you don’t brand yourself, then others will do it for you.


7



“It’s not WHAT you know.It’s not even WHO you know.

It’s who knows YOU... and what they say about you

when you’re not around.”

8

Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-3830

• talk show host?• home & entertaining expert?• dog trainer?• child-care expert?• martyr?• satanic rocker? • dirty politician?

9

http://www.MivistaInc.com


this is what people SEE

HOW YOU LIVEWhat you say

& do

WHAT YOU WANTFuture Goals &

Objectives

WHAT YOU BELIEVE INPrinciples & Values

WHY ARE YOU HERE?Purpose

WHO ARE YOU?Innate Passions,

Talents & Interests

this is what determines your brand

2

10

All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com

“Regardless of age, regardless of position,

regardless of the business we happen to be in,

all of us need to understand the importance of branding.

We are CEOs of our own companies:

Me Inc. To be in business today, our most important

job is to be head marketer

for the brand called You.”– Tom Peters, “The Brand Called YOU”

1997

11

http://www.mivistaconsulting.com




What do YOU want to be TOP OF MIND for?

Can you articulate it?

13

What are 5 things you could do right away to become

“top-of-mind” for that?

14

2. Know Your Audience

15

16

17

Shift Context

I wantWhat do THEY want?

18

Personality Type

19

rubies sapphiresDIRECTORS PROMOTERS

emeraldsANALYZERS

pearlsNURTURERS

FAST

pac

eRE

LAX

ED p

ace

TASK-oriented PEOPLE-oriented

20

10 minutes to learn...A lifetime to master

21

Want a deeper analysis? Look at:

Myers-Briggs (MBTI)

DISC Assessment

Kiersey Temperament Sorter

22


3. Look the part

23



24

Standing out – appropriately – from the crowd

helps you stay top of mind. Look UP at the top people in your field and get inspired by them.

Then add your own twist.

25


26




27

1

28

what do you notice?

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

36

1

37

4. Communicate Powerfully

38

The way you say things is, like, important?

39

Do you ask for permission to speak up?

Can I ask a question?

I just want to add one thing

Would you mind if I said something?

I have an idea I’d like to share, if you don’t mind

May I add something?40

“I”

blame you for issues that aren’t yours childish

takes focus off the facts

not effective leadership (it’s not about you)

often leads to “psychobabble”

* How To Say It For WomenPhyllis Mindell, Ed.D.

41

“I don’t have enough time to complete that job”

* How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D.

“I like the way you closed that deal”

“I noticed that the office wasn’t cleaned up”

“You forgot to send me that email”

“I feel good about this project”

“For the job to be done right, it requires more time”

“Well done on that deal”

“The office wasn’t cleaned up last night”

“I didn’t receive your email”

“This project will be great for business”

42

“Infractions:” Passive, Rambling, Verbal Filler, Qualifiers, Hedges

“I may be wrong but what if we try a new

approach? I was thinking, you know, maybe we could, um, find a

partner or something, you know to help us grow our mailing list. Maybe I could call a few people that I know. I don’t

know, what do you think?” kie josiuel lk asj kdi ko oudu lki, reit

kci,wii, oieru iyd klkea loi leoop nckeadlfjad ieu loo keuu eioci klle leyuc ckelk lke

as eec eae ree clkj elkj sld fkjds adlk fja....

43

instead try

“um”passive voice

“feel”“I”

fillers

pausingactive voice

stating the facts3rd person

pauses

44

DramaticThe Pause

45

Qualifiers & Hedges

onlyjust

you knowreally

in my opinionsort ofkind of

apparentlyI’m not an expert, butI may not be qualified,

butbut

maybeI guess

46

“psychobabble”rambling & nervous chatter

“blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment... “present...” “The Secret...” “The Law of Attraction”

and... and... and...“I’m suuuuch an Aquarius (giggle)”

“I feeeeel...”

47

“To Be” = Weak

I am (was, will be...)

You are (were, will be)

We are (were, will be)

They are (were, will be)

I am the leader of a team

You are responsible for sales

We are the managers of...

They were helping the kids...

I lead

We manage

They helped

________________

_______________

______________

You oversee

sales

_______________

48

AchieveAdvanceConductConsultCommitCoordinateDevelopDeliverDesignDefineDevoteEarnEnhanceEvaluateExamineExtendFacilitate

FormulateFulfillForecastGenerateGainGatherHeadHostIdentifyImplementImproveImproviseInfluenceLaunchLeadLobbyMaintain

ManageMarketedMaximizedMediatedMotivateNegotiateObtainOperateOrganizeOriginateOverseeParticipatePerformPioneerPlanPreparePresent

PromotePublishPursueRankUpdateRedesignReengineerReorganizeRepresentRestructureReviseSafeguardSecureSpecifySpearheadStandardizeStrengthen

StructureSuggestSupersedeSuperviseTargetTeach/TaughtTestTrainTransformTranscendUnifyUpgradeUtilizeValidateValueWrite

effective action verbs...

49

“feel”50

“One way to

grow a list is to

partner with others

and offer a benefit in

return. I know a

few I can call.

Thoughts?”

Direct, to the point, assertive (without being aggressive), inviting

51

Hold your ground (politely)

*Phyllis Mindel, PhD How To Say It For Women

Excuse me

Please allow me to finish...

I’m not finished

I’m not quite finished...

Please hold any comments until I’m done

Please hold your questions until the end

Just a moment...

Interruptions break my train of thought, please allow me to finish...

52

Be LOUD

53

Have you ever noticed?How some people talk like they’re asking a question?

Most don’t even realize they do it?

In flection

RECORD YOURSELF.

54

55

56

“Thanks for doing such a great job. Really, thanks.

“It’s not like you do anything anyways.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Everything is great. Just perfect.”

57

5. Live The “Jessica Phenomenon”

58

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg59

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

MirrorNeurons

60

61

Are you focused on a negative outcome?

62

63

6. Set Boundaries!

64

“Pathological Volunteerism”

65

66


Parkinson’s Law *“Work expands so as

to fill the time available for its completion.”

Perhaps you recognize this phenomenon (or its corollaries)?

A note before proceeding...

67






Data expands to fill the space available for storage.

68




69





70






Studies show that if you LIMIT the time available for a task,

you REDUCE the amount of time that task takes AND improve results!

71






Proof: “The Vacation Phenomenon”

72






“Treat every day like it's

the day before

vacation, and you will get more work

done!”- Zig Ziglar

73



In other words, if you FIRST determine what your “hard limits” are in terms of TIME, you will be more focused

and produce BETTER results in the (shorter)

time you allot for work.


74






LIFESTYLE

Income

Stability

CharityPeace of mind

Free time

FunSupp

ort

Hobbies

75





76






77






“Art Time”

78




79






Establish Priorities What are your top 3 priorities in

life? Write them down.

80






Create Parameters Write down ONE commitment you can put into your CALENDAR for

each of those 3 priorities.

81






Examples

•Family Time ------------> No working on weekends - Dinner with family every Tu/Wed

•Hobbies -----------------> Set aside 8 hours/week to paint Ride horses 2 mornings/week

•Peace of Mind --------> Meditate every day - 30 min

•Romance ---------------> “Date Night”

•Health --------------------> Eat breakfast & lunch every day; yoga Mon/Wed 5:30

•Organize ----------------> Monday =“errands&admin” day

82






83






84






Homework: Schedule! Put them into your calendar and HONOR THEM!! You may

have to “enroll” a few people first...

85






86





hey, got a minute?

87

7. Say

88

(k)notty wordscan not

could notshould not

do notwould not

rephrase with what you DO want

or WILL do

89

Stuff

90

Practice!!

91

8. Understand Non-Verbal Cues

92

Eye contact

93

1

Eye contact is the most basic form of

human interaction... even newborns do it

94

Handshakes establish equality between two people.

95

The “Dainty” Handshake

96

The Limp Handshake

97

98

99

100

101

102

103

104

Eye contactBody position

PalmsFacial

expression=

Her: I’m angry, I don’t want to hear what you

say or even look at you

Him: I have nothing to hide, you can trust me, please listen

105

106

Eye contactHands touchingHead positionBody position

=Man 1: I’m angry, I’m

on the offensive, I have proof, look at

me!

Man 2: I’m sooooo over this, I can’t stand

it. Please go away and leave me in peace.

107

108

Eye contactBody positionHands/arms

Touching faceUsage of space

= We are mentally

checked out and don’t care that she

knows it - she doesn’t even deserve the most

basic respect.

109

110

1

Does your body

language say “I’m too

busy for you”? That’s one surefire way to turn

people off...

111

1

112

113

9. Promote Yourself

114

“Unwritten Rules: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt Your Career” © 2008 by CATALYST

115

Volunteer For High Profile Projects, Assignments & Teams

116

How do you respond to compliments?

117

118

119

10. Build Your Network

120

Create ALLIANCES & PARNERSHIPS

121

People LOVE talking about other people. Are you MANAGING what they’re saying about YOU?

122

Relationship Killers

• lack of contact

• one-sidedness

• self-interest

• neglect

123

Relationship Growers

• availability

• contact

• trust

• listening

• honesty

• mutual benefit

124

Everyone needs

cheerleaders & mentors

125

Recap

•1 instance where you SHOULD have communicated more powerfully? What could you have done differently?

•1 instance where your communication ESCALATED a situation, made it WORSE?

•Situations?

•Triggers?

126

Committments.

127


www.MichelleVillalobos.com

Or just Google me!

128



http://www.MichelleVillalobos.com

http://www.MichelleVillalobos.com

Sapient - Communicate Powerfully (Without Being A You-Know-What)

Business