Pham Long. 07E10. Writing Charts, Graphs and Tables

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND

INTERNATIONAL STUDIES ��

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WRITING PORTPOLIO (SEMESTER 5) Student : Pham Duc Long Class : 07E10 Supervisor: Nguyen Bich Diep A

HANOI, 12/2009 �

WRITING PORTFOLIO 5TH SEMESTER

Pham Duc Long. 07E10 2

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I should like to express my deep gratitude to my lecturer, Ms Nguyen

Bich Diep (A) for her constant and helpful advice and enlightening guidance

throughout the 5thsemester course of writing.

My special thanks also go to students in class 07E10, ULIS-VNU, HN

whose comments have been considered a great deal of help.



TABLE OF CONTENTS

No. Topic Page

1. Vocabulary ranges for writing charts, graphs and tables 4

2. Writing a flow chart: HORSE 5

3. Writing a bar chart: LEISURE TIME ENJOYED BY

MEN AND WOMEN

9

4. Writing a pie chart: SURVEY ON PUBLIC

SERVICES

14

5. Writing a line chart: THE CONSUMPTION OF MEAT 18

6. Writing a table chart : MID-TERM TEST

(Hand writing)

23

7. Write a table chart:

ENTERING HIGHER EDUCATION

24

8. Writing a diagram: SOURCES OF NOISE 28

9. Writing a map: WEST FARM IN USA 29

10. Writing a informal letter 36

11. Write an informal letter 38



VOCABULARY RANGE

Up trend Down trend Adverb

To soar : to fly, rise quickly To plummet: To fall very quickly sharply

To rocket: to rise extremely quickly To decline obviously

To surge: to move suddenly To go down markedly

To shoot up: to move quickly To decrease dramatically

To rise remarkably

To grow suddenly

To increase steadily

gradually



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS 2nd Marker:

Score:

Week: 5

Date: 05/10/2009

Writing Assignment version 1

Topic: Write a flow chart Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years.

Content Correction

The diagram illustrates 40 million years witnessing the changes of the

horse in the evolution process mainly in build (size, mane and tail) and

foot structure.

As we can see from the diagram, the most outstanding modification lies in

foot structure, ranging from a small five-toed named “Eohippus” creature

to “Mesohippus” followed by “Merychippus” with three toes 30 million

years ago towards 15 million years ago. Eventually, it has properly

evolved into the large single-toed animal of today.

Among dramatically-developed features of build, horse mane has

remarkably grown from hairless beginning till long mane as modern horse.

Moreover, horse tail gradually becomes longer and longer while the size of

body becomes larger and larger according to the time transition.

It is clear that in the past 40 million years, foot structure and build’s

evolution has resulted in large modern single-toed horses.



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: LE THI THU Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class: 07E10

Score:

Week: 5

Date: 05/10/2009



Content

Comments/ Corrections



foot structure.

As we can see from the diagram, the most outstanding modification lies

in foot structure, ranging from a small five-toed named “Eohippus”

creature to “Mesohippus” followed by “Merychippus” with three toes

30 million years ago towards 15 million years ago. Eventually, it has

properly evolved into the large single-toed animal of today.


remarkably grown from hairless beginning till long mane as modern

horse. Moreover, horse tail gradually becomes longer and longer

while the size of body becomes larger and larger according to the

time transition.



??? confusing Very good!



Name: Pham Duc Long 2nd Marker: LE THI NGUYEN Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class: 07E10

Score:

Week: 5

Date: 05/10/2009



Assessment: You should rewrite this writing in a different style. Your ideas are good but clear.

Content

Correction



foot structure.

As we can see from the diagram, the most outstanding modification lies in

foot structure, ranging from a small five-toed named “Eohippus” creature

to “Mesohippus” followed by “Merychippus” with three toes 30 million

years ago towards 15 million years ago. Eventually, it has properly

evolved into the large single-toed animal of today.


remarkably grown from hairless beginning till long mane as modern

horse. Moreover, horse tail gradually becomes longer and longer while the

size of body becomes larger and larger according to the time transition.



??? when Imagina_ tive idea !




Score:

Week: 5

Date: 05/10/2009

Writing Assignment version: FINAL


Content The diagram illustrates 40 million years witnessing the changes of the horse in the

evolution process mainly in appearance and foot structure.

There are four main stages in the process. The first stage was Echippus which appeared 40

million years. 10 million years later, the horse was named Mesohippus. The third stage

mentioned Merychippus appearing 15 million years ago. The final stage is modern horse.

The appearance of the horse has changed mainly in built body and mane. The size of the

horse has been developed from a fox's size to bigger size as we see nowadays. Besides,

according to the image Echippus had no mane, but the mane of the horse was getting

longer and longer. Today the modern horse has very beautiful long mane. The final

change and the most particular one is foot structure. Modern horse has only one toe in

each leg. However, in the first stage, Echippus had five toes. 30 million years later, there

were three equal toes. After that, the ancestors of the horse still had three toes, but the

middle one was bigger and bigger. Thus, it became the biggest one.

It is clear that in the past 40 million years, foot structure and build’s evolution have

resulted in large modern single-toed horses.



WRITING A BAR CHART You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown

below.

You should write at least 150 words.

(CAMBRIDGE IELTS 2. Test 2. Writing test 1. Cambridge University Press)




Score:

Week: 6

Date: 12/10/2009


Topic: Write a bar chart

Assessment: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Content

Correction

The chart shows the number of hours of leisure time enjoyed by men and

women a typical week in the period 1998-1999, according to gender and

employment status.

Among those employed full-time, men on average had 30 hours of leisure,

whereas women had approximately 37 hours. Thee were no figures given

for male part-time worker, but female part-timers had 40 hours of leisure

time, only slightly more than women in full-time employment.

In the unemployed and retired categories, leisure showed an increase for

both sexes, as might have been expected. Men enjoyed more leisure time-

over 80 hours, compared with 70 hours for women.

Lastly, housewives enjoyed about 54 hours of leisure, on average. There

were no figures given for househusbands.



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: KHUAT VAN TIEN Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class: 07E10

Score:

Week: 6

Date: 12/10/2009



Assessment: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Content Correction



employment status.






both sexes, as might have been expected. Men enjoyed more leisure time-

over 80 hours, compared with 70 hours for women.



In a typical week 50



Name: Pham Duc Long 2nd Marker: DUONG DINH NAM Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class: 07E10

Score:

Week: 6

Date: 12/10/2009



Assessment: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Content Correction



employment status.






both sexes, as might have been expected. Men enjoyed more leisure

time-over 80 hours, compared with 70 hours for women.



Another word: reflects / illustrates 50 ??? why repeated




Score:

Week: 6

Date: 12/10/2009



Assessment: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Content Correction

The chart illustrates the number of hours of leisure time enjoyed by men

and women in a typical week in the period 1998-1999 according to gender

and employment status.


whereas women had approximately 37 hours. There were no figures given

for male part-time worker, but female part-timers had 40 hours of free


In the unemployed and retired categories, leisure showed a remarkable

increase for both sexes. Men spent more leisure time-over 80 hours per

week, compared with 70 hours for women.






Score:

Week: 7

Date: 20/10/2009


Topic: Write a pie chart Write about the results of an extensive public survey on people’s attitude to a

range of issues (McCarter, 2006, p.125-126)

McCarter, C. (2006). Academic writing practice for IELTS. Ho Chi Minh city

publishing house

Content Correction

.The pie charts reflect people’s perceptions of whether education ought to

be poured more money on than health or public transport and an

investigation’s findings on raising taxes for the public services.

70% participants in an extensive pubic survey have the same agreement

that money should be spent on education service as apposed to 20% and

10% for attendants at disagreement and no answer respectively. Although

education is perceived as more worth-investing service than public

transport by 85% people investigated, it loses advantage over health

standing at 40% for support of pouring much more capital on and

exceeding 30 % participants insisting on greater expenditure of education

compared with health.

The fourth chart illustrates the people’s attitude to raising taxes for public

services such as education, health and public transport. Nearly 50% of

answers collected show the disapproval of increasing taxes as

approximately much as answers in favor of



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: LE THI NGUYEN Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class: 07E10

Score:

Week: 7

Date: 20/10/2009





publishing house

Content Correction
















??? Expression ??? w.c w.c _ about 3 % people do not know



Name: Pham Duc Long 2nd Marker: LE THI THU Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 7

Date: 20/10/2009





publishing house

Content Correction
















agreed An/ the advantage Collected to ? conclusion




Score:

Week: 7

Date: 20/10/2009

Writing Assignment version FINAL




publishing house

Content The pie charts reflect the results of an extensive public survey on people’s

perceptions towards education, health, public transport and raising taxes.

70% participants in the extensive pubic survey have agreed that money should be

spent on education service as apposed to 20% and 10% for attendants at

disagreement and no answer respectively. Although education is perceived as more

worth-investing service than public transport by 85% people investigated, it loses

ground to health standing at 40% for support of pouring much more capital on and

exceeding 30 % participants insisting on greater expenditure of education compared

with health.

The fourth chart illustrates the people’s attitude to raising taxes for public services

such as education, health and public transport. Nearly 50% of collected answers

show the disapproval of increasing taxes as approximately much as answers in

favor of. The remainder (about 3%) did not give any response at all.

It is clear that investment for education is the second priority among public services

as perceived by people in the survey.



(Cambridge IELTS 7. TEST 2. Writing task. Page 53




Score:

Week: 8

Date: 27/10/2009


Topic: Write a line chart (page. 18 above). Write about the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European

country between 1979 and 2004.

Content Correction

The graph illustrates changes in the amount of beef, lamb, chicken and fish

consumed in a particular European country between 1979 and 2004.

In 1979 beef was by far the most popular of these foods, with about 225 grams

consumed per person per week. Lamb and chicken were eaten in similar

quantities (around 150 grams), while much less fish was consumed (just over 50

grams).

However, during this 25 year period, the consumption of beef and lamb fell

dramatically to nearly 100 drams and 55 grams respectively. The consumption

of fish also declined, but much less significantly to just below 50 grams, so

although it remained the least popular food, consumption levels were the most

stable.

The consumption of chicken, on the other hand, showed an upward trend, over

passing that of lamb in 1980 and that of beef in 1989. By 2004 it had soared to

almost 250 grams per person per week

Overall, the graph shows how the consumption of chicken increased

dramatically while the popularity of these other foods decreased over the period.



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: DANG THI YEN Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 8

Date: 27/10/2009




Content Correction






grams).





stable.


passing that of lamb in 1980 and that of beef in 1989. By 2004 it had soared

to almost 250 grams per person per week


dramatically while the popularity of these other foods decreased over the period

Among Should be Omitted What do you mean?



Name: Pham Duc Long 2nd Marker: NGUYEN THI HONG NHUNG Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 8

Date: 27/10/2009




Content Correction



In 1979 beef was by far the most popular of these foods, with about 225

grams consumed per person per week. Lamb and chicken were eaten in similar


grams).





stable.


passing that of lamb in 1980 and that of beef in 1989. By 2004 it had soared



dramatically while the popularity of these other foods decreased over the period

Very clever! ??? So confusing! In conclusion,




Score:

Week: 8

Date: 27/10/2009




Content Correction






grams).





stable.

The consumption of chicken, on the other hand, showed an upward trend,

overtaking that of lamb in 1980 and that of beef in 1989. By 2004 it had soared



dramatically while the popularity of these other foods decreased over the period.






Score:

Week: 10

Date: 12 /11 /2009

Writing Assignment version: 1

Topic : Write about a table

McCarter, S.2006. Academic Writing Practice for IELTS. Task 4: writing task 1. Ho Chi Minh publishing house (page 118)

Content Correction

The table illustrates the percentage of pupils entering higher education

from five secondary schools, namely Royston Academy, Greystone High,

Harble Secondary, Fairfield Girls and Crackend Boys from 1995 till 2000.

The greatest increase was in Harble Secondary, rising from 30% in 1995

to 80% in 2000. Next came Fairfield, increasing 24% over the same period

from the beginning point of 65%. Pupils entering Royston Academy and

Crackend Boys went up by 10% and 2% respectively between 1995 and

2000 inclusive.

On the other hand, there was a credible decline in the percentage of pupils

attending Greystone High, falling from 90% in 1995 down to 70% in

2000.



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: LE THI THU Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class: 07E10

Score:

Week: 10

Date: 12 / 11 2009




Content Correction





to 80% in 2000. Next came Fairfield, increasing 24% over the same period

from the beginning point of 65%. Pupils entering Royston Academy and

Crackend Boys went up by 10% and 2% respectively between 1995 and

2000 inclusive.



2000.

Good lead-in Maybe use “in turn” Should be clearer



Name: Pham Duc Long 2nd Marker: GIAP THI VAN Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 10

Date: 12 / 11 /2009




Content Correction





to 80% in 2000. Next came Fairfield, increasing 24% over the same

period from the beginning point of 65%. Pupils entering Royston

Academy and Crackend Boys went up by 10% and 2% respectively

between 1995 and 2000 inclusive.



2000.

Good expression Attending /passing into You often have Well-organized Ideas while Writing! Good luck!




Score:

Week: 10

Date: 12 / 11 /2009




Content

The table illustrates the percentage of pupils entering higher education from five

secondary schools, namely Royston Academy, Greystone High, Harble Secondary,

Fairfield Girls and Crackend Boys from 1995 till 2000.

The greatest increase was in Harble Secondary, rising from 30% in 1995 to 80% in

2000. Next came Fairfield, increasing 24% over the same period from the

beginning point of 65%. Pupils passing into Royston Academy and Crackend Boys

went up by 10% and 2% in turn between 1995 and 2000 inclusive.

On the other hand, there was a credible decline in the percentage of pupils attending

Greystone High, falling from 90% in 1995 down to 70% in 2000.

It is undeniable that among five secondary schools, Harble Secondary was in 1st

rank of the percentage of pupils’ entering high school while Greystone High

decreased the number of entrance pupils during the period 1995-2000




Score:

Week: 11

Date: 18 / 11 /2009


Topic : Write about a diagram

McCarter, C. (2006). Academic writing practice for IELTS. Test 5: writing task 1.

Ho Chi Minh city publishing house. Page 120.

Content Correction

The diagram illustrates the findings of a survey conducted on a sample of

1.000 people on the different sources of noise which are a nuisance.

As we can see from the diagram, the results may be classified into four

categories. The largest category was “extremely annoying” sources, of

which Barking dogs was considered the most irritating. Then, DIY,

Mobile phones and Music was in the rank order from 2 to 4. There is no

information given for the “not annoying” categories.

In the “Very annoying” category, it includes two sources: Radios and

Aeroplanes with the first causing more of nuisance than the second

whereas TVs in the category of “Annoying” result from more of

disturbance than Radios. As for Pianos, they were regarded as only being

“Fairly annoying” by those in the sample.

It is remarkable that Barking dogs is the most annoying noise source.



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: DUONG THI THAM Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 11

Date: 18 / 11 /2009





Content Correction











disturbance than Radios. As for Pianos, they were regarded as only

being “Fairly annoying” by those in the sample.


like spoken English Good expression What do you mean?



Name: Pham Duc Long 2nd Marker: LE THI LINH Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 11

Date: 18/11 /2009





Content Correction











disturbance than Radios. As for Pianos, they were regarded as only being

“Fairly annoying” by those in the sample.


Omit “a” Verb tense Second to fourth howerver




Score:

Week: 11

Date: 18 / 11/2009





Content Correction

.The diagram illustrates the findings of a survey conducted on a sample of

1.000 people on the different sources of noise which are nuisance.


categories. The largest category is “extremely annoying” sources, of which

Barking dogs was considered the most irritating. Then, DIY, Mobile

phones and Music was in the rank order from 2nd to 4th. There is no


Radios and Aeroplanes were mentioned in the “Very annoying” class with

the first causing more of nuisance than the second but compared with TVs

in the category of “Annoying”, Radio resulted from less of disturbance

than these Televisions. As for Pianos, they were regarded as only being

“Fairly annoying” by those in the samples.

It is remarkable that Barking dogs is the most annoying noise source,




Score:

Week: 12

Date: 27/ 11/2009


Topic : Write about a map



Content Correction

The maps show the changes in the size of West Farm and in the value of the

land per hectare over a period of 90 years from 1900 to 1990.

The area of West Farm fluctuated erratically. In 1990, West Farm was 5.000

hectares large. Over the next 25 years, it was narrowed to 850 hectares but

doubled after 15 years later. Between 1970 and 1990, the size of West Farm

remarkably increased from 5000 hectares to 3.500 hectares.

Contrary to going up and down about the area, the value of the land per hectare

was always upward trend, dramatically rocketed with only 1USD at the

beginning of 20th century to 20 USD in 1925. From the 2nd decade till 4th decade

of the 20thcentury, there was a slight increase of money collected per hectare

(about 5 USA). Next came 1970 and 1990 with credible numbers 100 USA and

125 USA per hectare respectively.

It is remarked that the value of the land in West Farm per hectare sharply soared

during the first 9th decade of 20th century as opposed to fluctuations in the area.



Name: Pham Duc Long 1st Marker: PHAM THI HOA PHUONG Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 12

Date: 27 / 11/2009





Content Correction















very smooth Hope you high grades Increase in



Name: Pham Duc Long 2nd Marker: DUONG DINH NAM Group: 07.1.E10 – VNU – ULIS Class : 07E10

Score:

Week: 12

Date: 27 / 11 /2009





Content Correction















Any alternative word? Rocketed from Interesting phrase




Score:

Week: 12

Date: 27 /11 /2009





Content Correction








was always upward trend, dramatically rocketed from 1USD at the beginning of

20th century to 20 USD in 1925. From the 2nd decade till 4th decade of the

20thcentury, there was a slight increase in money collected per hectare (about 5

USA). Next went up 1970 and 1990 with credible numbers 100 USA and 125

USA per hectare respectively.






Score:

Week: 13

Date: 2/ 12 /2009


Topic: Write an informal letter. Writing a letter to inform your friend of what you have done during the last three-month summer holiday.



Dear Kien,

I was glad to know that I enjoyed three month joyful summer holiday in America

where you always dreamed to study. 2OO9 summer holiday was also the most

wonderful one I have ever had.

I spent the first ten days of July volunteering for HULIS’ hostel where I have been

living for nearly 2 years. Helping the 12th grade students attend the university

entrance actually motivated my passion for social activities. As a result, I become

more grown-up and confident at communication with people. Moreover, it was the

first time I took part in an international IT forum called WITFOR 2009 where I

practiced my speaking English skills as well as expressed my understandings of

information technology. I met Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung at the big hall who

praised our team “Supporter” for our professional service style.

I explored so much English grammar knowledge when advised to study before by

some students of K40 in preparation for the fifth semester. English grammar at

university seemed to be more interesting and complicated than I studied at high

school. As a result of my efforts, I have, up to now, had a systematic understanding

of it.

At present, I am a third year student with an eleven subject timetable to cover? I

am considering how your new school and friends in the United States are. Remind

to rewrite to me as soon as possible.

Best wishes,

Long




Score:

Week: 13

Date: 3/ 12 /2009


Topic: Write a formal letter.



Content

Dear Mrs. Benson,

I was very highly interested in your advertisement in The Times of 1st December,

2009, so I am writing this letter to apply for the position as a summer staff in your

international bookshop, Science Heaven. I strongly believe that my qualifications

and experience are ideally suited for the position.

Reading books is my outstanding interest because every book has some things

interesting to be explored. Therefore, I always spend more than two hours every

day reading all types of books in my father’s huge book treasure. My father is a

historian, so since I was eight years old, he taught how to arrange his books in order

carefully after I have read them, which I think will be useful for this job.

Secondly, I have already graduated from Hanoi University of Languages and

International Studies, so my English is very proficient. Moreover, I spent three

months last summer in Britain in the campaign of “Keep Our Earth Green”.

Therefore, I can speak English fluently and accurately.

Last but not least, I did a part-time job as a proficient staff in Nguyen Van Cu

bookshop for 4 years since I was a freshman. Thus, I am strongly confident to

consider myself an experienced candidate for the full time job you suggested.

I hope you will take my application into your consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Long

Pham Duc Long

Pham Long. 07E10. Writing Charts, Graphs and Tables

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