Lost In Translation IV

Lost in TranslationVol. IV

Essays & Poetry written byInternational Graduate Students at the University of Missouri

Course:Writing Workshop for International Graduate Students! University of Missouri, Columbia MO

Taught by:Jill Ostrow

Co-Taught by:Lynn Chih Ning Chang

Cover photograph:by Chun Ming Lee

Lost in TranslationVol. IV ~ spring 2011

Yang Wang!"#$%&#'&(#$)*&+,-'#*.#$'/&0#12#$/&342$#5

Yang Wang, A dream girl from China,Second year doctoral student in Reading/Literacy Education,Have been living in Columbia, Missouri for more than three years,Taught English for four years in Dalian, Liaoning,Learned English since Grade Five,Love writing all her life.

Seoung Woo Lee

I am Seoung Woo Lee. I am from South Korea. I was a mathematics teacher in Seoul for 15 years. I worked at several middle schools and high schools.I came to MIZZOU with the support from my city government.I am a second year doctoral student in mathematics education. I am living with my daughter and my wife in Columbia, MO.

Harin Woo

Harin!Woo is a candidate for Master of Public Affairs from Truman School of Public Affairs. She has fully enjoyed this class with sharing ideas for creative writing as well as trying to eliminate fear of writing in English.

Yunhui Lu

Yunhui is currently a doctoral student in Information Science and Learning Technologies at MU. Yunhui completed a B.A. in Russian Language & Literature from Peking University and an M.A. in Comparative Literature from Dartmouth College. Originally from China, Yunhui has been keeping a diary in Chinese for more than 20 years. Writing is her way of living.

Jingu Lee

Jinju is a graduate student studying TESOL at the University of Missouri, in the United States. I love to work with English as a second and a foreign language learners coming from diverse cultural backgrounds. My fundamental goal of study is to help ESL or ELL explore English acquisition and to investigate innovative teaching and learning strategies adequate to the target language learners.

Chinh Tran

I come from Hanoi, Vietnam. I graduated from Hanoi University in 2007 with the BA in English and became an instruction of English as a foreign language. After 2 years of teaching, I got a scholarship to pursue my master of education in TESOL at the College of Education, The University of Missouri. During my teaching time, I met students’ frowning eyes and disappointed faces when they tried to complete their writing pieces but ended up being unable to coin their ideas in the language, which is not their tongue. Being a part of this Creative Writing Workshop has really convinced me that the path for any non-native writer is to start from creative writing; writing from the soul. Don’t hesitate to let your flow of thoughts run into words. Don’t be afraid of ending up with simple ideas in simple language structures. Don’t tie yourself in any writing genre only. If you think that you cannot write a poem, then start making one. If you doubt that you are not good at novels, just try one. Success originates from curiosity, that’s what I believe.

Surachat Pumipuntu

Surachat Pumipuntu was born at Bemidji, MN but have been traveling back and forth between the US and Thailand. He is currently pursuing in MEd. in PK-12 Administration at MU which he’s planning to start his own private school and also use his knowledge to help improve Thailand education system.

Contents ~

Dear My Lovely Friend………………………………….! Jinju Lee

A Place Where I Will Be in This Summer!………………..!Harin Woo

Body and Mind…………………………………………! Seoung Woo Lee

Adultery………………………………………………..!Chinh Tran

Night & Morning……………………………………….!Yunhui Lu

Six Sisters……………………………………………….!Yang Wang

Love Is………………………………………………….!Surachat Pumipuntu

Spring (!", 驚蟄)…………………………………….!Harin Woo

My Father’s Drawer………………………………………Yang Wang

母亲是山………………………………………………Yunhui Lu

Love Circle……………………………………………….Chinh Tran

#$ %& '(, )* %& '( ……………………Jinju Lee

A Pianist Begins…………………………………………..Surachat Pumipuntu

A Lucky Day…………………………………………….!Seoung Woo Lee

Dear My Lovely Friend

~Jinju Lee

I wait for the momentI breathe in the fresh air under a sunshine-like light

Out of the cup-crowded kitchenStanding straight on a dark brown circle leather table,Sitting in front of me under the romantic yellow light,

Making a lovely eye contact to my lovely friendYou grab me with father-like hearty hands

I fall in the loving temperatureThrough your affectionate palms and your soft lips

I wait for a bitterly chilly weatherI become your lovely extra hot cup of coffee

A white plastic hat covers my round headKeeping me with a fancy look to you

The moment you grab my mother-like hearty bodyWith chapped hands in the frosty weather

I warm your freezing handsThe fantastic moment

When you sip the hot drink from me

I wait for a boiling hot weatherI become your lovely iced cup of coffee

A transparent umbrella covers the top of my headWith a long green umbrella handle

Keeping me with a fresh look to youMaking you comfortable to sip the cool drink

The moment when a full of icy liquid fills my body upI cool down your sweating hands

The reason you always carry me in the scorching summerHence, I never give up to be who I am now

You are with me wherever you go,In a drinking holder in your car,

In your warm or sometimes freezing hands,At the right corner of your favorite desk at your place,

In the most intimate sleeping room,On the bed next to your curly silky hair

And

Even when you are with your boy friend

Because…. I am…

Who can moisture your thirsty throat

Who can relieve your stressComing from the work, study,

Unsolvable life-burden

Who can wipe your tearOn your cheeks

In your heartIn a sorrowful day

My friend, you are not aloneI am here next to you

I am still waiting for your loving palmsAnd the sweetest eyes

From. Your favorite cup of coffee

A Place Where I Will Be in This Summer!

~Harin Woo

! Nobody knows where I will be in this summer. Well, it is true for everyone’s tomorrow, not only this

coming summer. Why I am concerned about the place? Simply to say, it’s because my new life just starts

there!

! Imagining my new life with coffee in this rainy, wet, and cloudy city makes me smile. Yes, I am a

person who cannot live without coffee every day. In this point, this city would be perfect to me! I can

explore every different coffee shop in downtown, try each shop’s special menu, and rate them based on my

feeling and how it tasted when it touched my tongue. Smelling fresh-brewed, earthy aromatic Sumatra will

bewitch my body and soul every morning. Walking along seashore in grabbing my coffee will make my

foot faster and lighter, then, I may dance on the street while humming a song, ‘Coffee ketchup gives 'em flavor

Coffee pickles way outsell the dill ~.’ Making friends who love both full-body of coffee and this splendid city is

good to be true!

! Oh, but, what about my curly hair? Rain is perfectly paired with aromatic coffee, not with fluffy and

curly hair. I have always believed that straight and charming bangs are the most important part of

women’s fashion. Oh, if I were there, it means, I might break my rigorous rules of styling. I don’t want to

be such a betrayer. What should I do?

" Maybe various kinds of delicious foods might help me forget about my curly hair?

If so, I will fly to that city that attracts people from all over the world! From spicy and

colorful curry to unknown dishes, from Boba Milk Tea to Margarita, I may need more and

more days to finish every cuisine. I can travel each country’s embassy in listening and sharing

its colorful history and culture with my new friends. One day I will cry for deceased people in

Holocaust in the hallway of the museum, another day, I will be a gipsy in dancing with street

musicians in bare foot. Every night I can roam over the world and go to cities where I have

never been.

Oh, it’s always the hardest moment when making a decision; especially, for my new

life. UNPREDICTABLE. There is no such word making me as excited, at the same time,

and afraid. For this reason, I promise myself, “paint my life colorful with various experiences

as many as I can make.” I am longing for my summer, my new life, and my city, in this chill

and snow-covered Columbia.

Body and Mind

~ Seoung Woo Lee

Who are you?Who are you making my flesh and bones?People call you me.You are I.I am you.I want to talk with you about us.

I am saying to you. “I am here, I feel you, I see you, I know you.” I am asking you.“Can you see me? Do you know me?You never reply.

I know something out there that once was I.People do not call it as me any more though.Will you remember me after we are totally apart?Do you know you were I before?You never reply.

Someone replies to me.You are destined to wander in infinite space,and finally find me at the isolated empty spot. Where you and I once were together before.

When you find me, I cannot feel you but you can.Then, say to your friends, other particlesYou were I.I know you will always remember me.I can remember you by the time when we are together.

Adultery

~Chinh Tran

Since returning home, I have read, seen and talked to more than 10 painful women who were

betrayed by their husbands. I can imagine how painful they were. However, to my surprise, many of

them refused the divorce solution but tried to get the husband back to the family. Ironically, some of

them even blamed themselves for not taking enough care of their husbands or not making them

attractive enough to their partners, which caused men’s boredom with family. As a result, these women

would try to improve their appearance, or try to change the way they often treat their husbands. All of

these things have stimulated my curiosity to find the answer why men are treated so well after

committing adultery.

Recently in Vietnam, men and adultery has become a closely linked concept, which causes

serious impacts on women and family happiness. Adultery is so common in the society that many

women have to accept to live with it, and consider it as “men’s hobby”. Back in the history, the

Vietnamese culture was strongly influenced by the old feudalism that defined men’s polygamy and

women’s dependence on their men. People say that this ideology has become backward through out the

time; however, it’s still in the back of their head that tells them to forgive men’s adultery if any.

At the same time, the ideology limits women’s opportunity of finding partners after getting

divorce. It is considered a disadvantage for a woman to find new happiness after she gets divorced

because the old concept said that a good woman could not have more than one husband in her life. This

explains why adultery is so widespread among men in the Vietnamese society. Ironically, the past

concept also claimed that it was the women’s responsibility to make family happiness survive because

“men build houses and women build homes”. This sounds so unfair to me. Why men have so many

privileges in this society?

I recently joined a forum for married and want-to-get-married women, and was so shocked by

stories shared by painful women who were betrayed by their husbands. Surprisingly, when posting what

their husbands did, most of these women were looking for advice from others about how to get their

husband back. 100% of these women got angry and painful. However, nearly 90% of them were willing

to forgive the betrayers, and they take the situation as part of their fault for not being able to attract their

husband any more. What about the other 10%? Were they not generous enough to forgive their husband?

No, they were women who could not do anything to improve the situation, and failed to keep their husband

stay with them. Divorce is inevitable. I myself once reluctantly became the psychiatrist to help my friend

overcome the pain left by her husband’s betrayal. Like the above 90% of the women, she was looking for

solutions to take her husband back with her. This is why people often joke that if you want your wife to treat

you better, just betray her once.

Never before has the topic of adultery become more common and popular at workplace than it is

today. You may get surprised but people, especially men even consider it a trend to have an affair with

another person not their wife. They keep doing so because they know that they will be forgiven, and that

their wives will be good enough to keep the father for their kids. How to deal with the ‘trend’ is up to each

wife’s choice, however, repetitive tolerations should not be overused. As a saying goes, ‘once bitter, twice

shy’. Be strong, women.

Night & Morning

~ Yunhui Lu

Dark night without moon

Lying on the bed with eyes wide open

After one hour struggling about brushing teeth

With my 4-year-old

What if no her

A flexible schedule

Staying up late at night

Junk food when hungry

A snap anytime when sleepy

Bad words when angry

What a freedom!

Morning sun bright and warm

Sweet smile on awakening little face

“Mom, I am going to brush my teeth now!”

Soon out came my clean little angel

Happily enjoying her breakfast

Sunshine filling the whole house

What if no her!

“Mom, I love you!”

“I love you, too!”

Hitting the send button,

What a freedom!

Six Sisters

~Wang, Yang

王杨

R716 live six girls. You may want to know how small this room was. Well, three bunk beds stand by

three sides of the wall and two desks guard the window. That’s it. Without the six girls there, the

room is just a tiny grey cube; while with them, this space is colorful with laughters and stories.

This boarding school locates in the north border of this town. The girls are from three cities in the

same province. Another thing in common is that they are all only child. So people say it would be a

challenge for six of them living under the same roof. They might be wrong.

According to the unofficial school dorm rules, they need to have a leader in this group. The easiest

way to do that is by age.

Charming

High

Reading tons of books

Interested in Korean Drama

Studying every single word

Terrific English teacher

Yes, Christy it is.

The eldest girl Christy is the leader not only because of her age but also of her height – 5 feet and

7 inches. She is a really sentimental girl and a great writer. The great pity for her is that she never

read any romance novels before moving in with the other girls. She only read classic books and

that explains why she looks like a lady coming from hundreds of years ago. Born in a big family,

she only learned writing and reading in her life, but had no entertainment at all. Finally she

borrows a best-seller love story and stays up late with that book. The next morning, once she opens

her eyes, the first sentence is “I love the word the author used when the girl was pulled out of bed”.

All the other girls read that story and only care about the plot, but she researches the words.

Kitty, her favorite

Amazing trendsetter

Terribly organized

Yes, Katy it is.

Katy always seems like a quiet girl. It is said that she never talked with any boys at before 7th

grade. But the others all believe that is a rumor, as she is now chasing after a boy in the hallway, just for

getting her eraser back. She is a beautiful girl and teaches the others make-up, dressing and fashion.

She is very smart and works for a teacher as an assistant. She gets up early to study and really works

very hard. In the opposite her life is a real mess. She could never finish cleaning her clothes or putting

everything back in the original places. Every night, she has to wait till the others all go to bet so that

she has enough room to clear her stuff. Space and time are what she needs.

Knight in her dream

English in her career

Lady social

Lady independent

Yes, Kelly it is.

Kelly likes studying English the most and owns many good resources. She has many friends

outside of this small room. In her opinion there is either right or wrong and nothing exists between

these two principles. Like a judge, she criticizes unfair things strongly and hates when things go wrong.

She is ambitious and does many things what are impossible for others at that time. The first one to

know “information highway”, have instant messenger, have a long-distance boyfriend. That boy calls

her occasionally and Kelly believes she is going to marry him.

Hometown accent

Early grow-up

Loss

Egocentric

Nobody but Helen

Helen has nothing special but a really heavy accent. She and Kelly used to go to the same

elementary school and stayed in the same group. When they two stay together, they speak with strong

accent from their hometown. The other girls are sure that they speak Mandarin, but it is the accent

totally makes the language different and sound like a language from another planet. The saddest thing

for Helen is that her father passed away because of cancer soon after school started. That made her a

very independent girl and sometimes egocentric.

Very cute

Is Vivian

Very sweet

Is Vivian

A Barbie girl

Nobody but Vivian

The cutest little girl, Vivian, is from the place close to Kelly and Helen’s hometown.

Fortunately she doesn’t acquire the alien accent. She is the smallest girl, with curly chestnut color

hair, just like the Barbie. She does the best needlework and devotes to keep this room clean and

warm; that’s why she earns the title -- the little maid.

Angel

Never give up

Never say no

Initiator

Everyone knows Annie

The youngest one, Annie, doesn’t act like her age at all. She is mature, organized, always takes care of all elder girls, pops up great ideas and sometimes, she is weirdly good. She is the planner to organize the girls’ team life; she is the white angel to show off her medical knowledge; she is Miss “know-it-all”.

Love Is

~Surachat Pumipuntu

Walking around and wonder, suddenly surround by colorful flowers blooming, so attractively divine.

Ocean waves tumbling down the white grainy sand,

When I was building my great castle with my left and right hand,

The mighty sun seems racing to catch the moon, didn’t want the day to end again so soon.

But dark sky came upon, full of glitter stars.

You turn to me and know I’m with you and never been far.

In life, love is all around. I may not be an expert about love but I am learning about love

and hoping to understand what love is.

I stroll in and out of the park seeing couples talking, laughing, hugging, kissing, and loving.

Sometimes, I feel that everything is in love, the birds’ together chirping in fascinating musical tone;

the squirrels climbing up and down the trees, dangling and entwine with each other, even the trees

swaying left and right together as though they’re holding hands. When I feel love, I feel so

fortunate and blessed. I can walk on smiling without reason. The world seems to change overnight;

people all around smile and give me a little nod of joy. The brightness of the sun showing me the

way, cool breeze gently blows through my hair and whisper to my ear assuring I realize how perfect

the day is. The weather is not roasting hot nor arctic cold, it is neither clammy nor stale, but it’s

just right. The flowers seem to be blooming along the sidewalk as I walk close by and all the insects

look so excited to see the colorful flowers bloom, flying around celebrating, tasting the gooey, sweet

nectar. A strong wind came; it blows all the pollens and dandelion up high into the sky creating

spectacular colorful fog of pedals and pollen atmosphere all around. I sat down on the rough, dull

rocky edge of a hilltop looking out into the never ending blue ocean meets the sky, the rhythm of

crashing waves into rugged shore, spraying mist into

the air, giving the salty taste whenever you open your mouth; and mythical air full of

refreshing tropical orchid like smell. The wind still blowing but stronger than ever, it was not a

whisper anymore but became voices of celebration and laughter, and there she was, sitting on the

stony, rough, dull rocky edge right beside me, looking out into the endless horizon with an angel’s

smile. Her brownish silky hair gently blown by the wind and roses like scent fume into the

atmosphere. She sat there calm and quiet with her soft, gentle warm hand, almost half the size of

mine, and holding on to my hand with unbelievably firm grip. She turned to me and slowly smile

with her head slightly nod to side, I looked at her and wished I could stop the time and hold this

moment with me forever. I was speechless, I looked her into her eyes, wanted to tell her so much but

all I did was a smile for her. We sat quietly on the edge of the rough, stony hillside looking out to the

magnificent clear bluish-green ocean as the sun beginning to set into the purple-pink sky ending its

journey for the day. Then a whisper “I love you.” and she slowly turn her head towards me with her

angel like smile that froze my heart. She looked at me and slightly nod her head, she then turn her

attention back to the ocean with her head rested on my shoulder. Then a whisper, “I love you, too.”

When we look out into the crystal-like ocean of beauty together,

I wanted to stop this precious time to remember,

I wish the time could stand still and hold this as our moment

My heart is full of endless love and passion for her, wanting her to know my true feeling,

With her sweet smile, glittering eyes, I realized an angel came to me, for me to love and care her forever,

Remembering this as our moment through the year and years to come, holding this time as ours,

Never let go, never be far, I will always love you.

Spring!"!"#!!"$

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~Harin Woo

Walk along with a spring in cheerful yellow steps. Frog springs in my way. Why do you spring?Where are you going?

Ribbit, Ribbit, Ribbit.

WAIT! WAIT! Yelling behind him.I have not yet heard spring whisper to Mizzou!

Ribbit, Ribbit,Ribbit.

Now, I know.It’s you informing.Springhas sprung!

[Memoir]

My Father’s Drawer

~Wang, Yang

王杨

“Dad, please, just show me one more thing from your drawer. I want to become a doctor just

like you.” I knew my dad would agree, as I was his little girl.

Since I went to kindergarten, I noticed there was a big drawer in the closet of my parents’

bedroom. I opened it for so many times and touched those

interesting toys, made of metal, glass, plastics and cotton. The

two medal sticks were like two chopsticks connected together on

one side. On the other side there were hooks on both separated

sticks. It would be very cool to bring those in my lunch box.

Another medal tool was like a spoon, but with a flat scoop. Would

that work better to eat ice-cream? My favorite toy was a round

mirror. Unfortunately, it was “broken” with a whole right in the

center. And it had a weird dark green ribbon stuck on the pack of

the mirror. I tried to wear it on my head so my friends could look at the mirror and I hided my eye

behind the tiny hole. I must look like a silly robot.

Thinking about discovering more funny stuff, which I could show off to the other girls, I

sweetened my mouth and coaxed my dearest father. My hands clapped together to my chest; my eyes

opened so big that I bet anybody could tell my eagerness from the bottom of my heart; my lips pressed

tightly to each other and could say more “please”.

Dad glanced over the clock real quick and it seemed he had enough time before going to work.

“Wanna learn injection?” he walked toward my saint drawer.

“Of course. If I know how to inject, I would never be afraid of the nurses.” Following his

steps, I jogged and reached one hand patting on my right side hip. Literally I still felt the pain of

that huge needle a year ago. How come the good-looking sweet smiling nurse could have been so tough on my

teeny tiny butt?

Dad took out one glass tube, bumped in some water, and then attached a one inch long

silver needle on the top. I stared at the small shining needle tube in his big hands worrying about

missing a single step. He pointed the needle tube up into the air and pushed the air bubbles out of

the tube. “Ready?” He turned to me.

“Definitely.” Nodding my head hardly.

“Remember three tips: shoot very fast when you find the spot; once you shot it, push the

liquid very slowly; then pull the needle out fast when you are done. When you shoot and pull fast

while push slowly, it will release some pain. Got it?”

“Yes, sir. ” I responded like a proud soldier.

After dad left for work, I mumbled the tips once and once again to myself. Suddenly the

important words from my second grade teacher flashed in my head clearing all the other thoughts:

Practice, practice and practice. How should I practice this?

I walked around in the living room. Very soon my eyes fell down on the doll sitting in one

corner of the sofa. That was my birthday gift from my parents. That baby had been sitting there

for a while. She must be sick of sitting or something else because she didn’t have a happy face on.

“Don’t worry, my baby, I will take care of you.” Imitating my dad’s moves I lay her down

on the sofa and gave her a shot.

“Hi baby, are you feeling better?” Maybe she didn’t get enough medicine. Let’s take another one.

Why is she still sad? Fine, the last one.

The minute I took the needle out, her butt was all wet.

My mum came home when I sat confused on the sofa holding my poor doll with water

dipping down to the carpet. Her loud words got more of my attention than my poor doll.

My mum was a little overreacted.

母 是山

昀蕙(Yunhui Lu)

小 候我 得母 像一座山

只要在母 的怀里

就什 都不怕

无 遇到什么

只要看到母 的微笑

就烟消云散

我以 座山 永 立在那里

触目可及

可是有一天

忽然之 我

母 得如此瘦小

生， 面 桑

原来不 意

我已 成一棵大

可以 她遮 蔽雨

分担些 愁

在我在大洋彼岸

母 在 的另一端

思念是一根无形的

将我 地 在一起

中母 暖的微笑

和 挺拔站立的身影

是我勇气与力量的源泉

光如梭

如今我也成 一 母

欣喜地看着女儿一天天 大

当 仰着稚嫩的小

用全然信 的目光看 我

可以 我

我 微笑

我知道在她的心中

我也是一座屹立的山

Love Circle

~Chinh Tran

Heat

Love fire burns in lovers’ armsSummer breeze becomes so calm.Eyes meet eyes, and lips so close,Gentle warmth wells up from soul next to soul.

Explosion

Drifting leaves dancing down cheerful lanesTrees turn red, but our love will never change.Hearts explode with love and desire so strong,‘Cause we are as one in heart and mind.

Silence

Autumn’s breeze whisper last goodbyes,Hearts get cold and holdings are not tight.Blizzards, bare trees start to cry.They grieve, they mourn for the love pure as snow,Far away those tender-loving days, they both know,Far away those as one… in heart and mind.

New life

Green slipped out from under the white,Springs playing their cheerful symphony nearby.Birds wake up from the long, lonely sleepNo more dreams, only hope……for a new loving time.

!" #$ %&, '( #$ %& )*+

~Jinju Lee

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A Pianist Begins

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ Surachat Pumipuntu

It is another typical Monday, a glimpse of light barely lightens up the darkened sky, dogs and cats

still snuggle in their cozy newspaper and cardboard boxes, the rooster still can’t find its way out of the hen’s

house but why am I awake at this time I wonder. I guess it’s normal since I am the oldest son in the house. I

understand that I need to be responsible, pose as a good model for my brothers and sisters and be a reliable

grownup son for my mother. I don’t know why I feel this way but I understand that I have to be ever since

dad went away and never came back. I can still hear his voice in my head before he left saying over and over

again “Son, be strong.” It wasn’t much but I’m assuming that he wanted me to be the way that I am now.

I’m making my way through the orange-reddish dirt road to the farmer’s market in the village to buy

wheat grain for our pigs. As I make my way, I smell the moistness in the air and notice clear crystal dew

dripping from the leaves in the trees. It is a long walk from our house but I know that I need to speed up my

pace to get there before the sun comes up since I know that if the sun makes an angle, school will be starting

soon. Getting wheat grain for the pigs is only one of my many responsibilities I have to do every day for my

family. I arrive at the village, which is a bit larger than where I walked from and as I turn the corner I see

the magnificent white Buddhist temple at the center of the village. Beside the temple is the area is filled with

orange reddish dust with people walking around shouting and bargaining, varieties of large colorful

umbrellas everywhere, the smell of grilled pork, chicken, beef, squid and fish. Finally, I have reached the

farmer’s market.

I walk through the zigzag area of the market, squeezing myself through people buying, yelling and

picking out fresh vegetables, fruits, and raw meats. I’m trying to go to my usual buying and selling area

where a scar faced, uncle-like man stands rubbing his mustache while pointing out the price for each item

for his customers. I walk up to him and almost like a reflex, he tosses me a bag of wheat grain and says

“The price is still the same; I’ll put it on your mother’s bill.” “Thank you.” I replied while holding on to the

bag firmly. After buying the bag of wheat grain for the pigs, I start to run as fast as I can while making sure

I’m not spilling anything along the way. I am in a hurry since I notice the sun is higher than it supposed to

be indicating that I have to go to school soon. I’ve been late to school so many times; my strict teacher

knows every single detail about me and even my whole family. I didn’t want to be punished for being late to

school; actually I didn’t want to be late for school at all. I’m not a geek but I know that school is very

important me. I am always working hard on my studies and trying to be the best as I can. After an

exhausted run, I finally reached my house, shouting to let my mother know that I’m back and going to

continue working on my chores while she gets ready to go out to the rice patties and helps my younger

brothers and sisters get ready for school.

After finishing all my morning chores, I had a quick breakfast of grits and one hard-boiled egg with

some spices and soy sauce. I grab my books and homework and turn to my mother to sawasdee her, which is

how we Thai greet or say goodbye to each other. “Alright, everyone focus on your studies and work hard. Be

safe and don’t come home too late.” says my mother while rubbing on everyone’s head. “We will mom, bye,

love you” said me and my little brother and little sister while walking to our mom. We hug her. “Alright

‘Fa’ (meaning Sky), we’re running late again.” I said grabbing my little sister’s hand and start walking to

school.

School is a different way than the market, but the distance is not as far though it can be considered

far for two small children. Again we have to walk since we don’t have a motorcycle and our bicycle is

broken. We don’t really have the money to fix it at the moment but I’m planning to work when school closes

and I have the money to fix the bicycle. The sun is now making an angle that I wish was wrong, but I know

well that once again we are late. I have my sister on my shoulder and told my little brother to speed up his

pace and be careful not to fall. We’ve been walking and running switching back and forth since my little

brother, ‘Mek’ (meaning Cloud) can get exhausted very easily but finally we’ve reached our village’s school.

Although we’ve tried to be on time once again we are late and have to wait at the entrance of the school. I

can see all my friends standing on the soccer field in front of the flagpole singing the Thai national anthem

and being briefed about the school events by the principal. I wish I could hear what the principal is saying

but the strict teacher doesn’t allow any late students to be in that area. Writing up all the late students’ name

and giving negative discipline points.

When the first bell rang, my brother and I split up while I walk my little sister to her class. I then

walk over to my classroom, which is room 6/2 (meaning second room of grade twelve). All of my friends are

already there talking and playing together. The most popular topic of discussion for most of my friends is

about getting into college and university, which is different for the money but I don’t even know what career

I should pursue and with my family situation; it is best for me to come out and find a decent job to support

my family. I would rather work and save some money to support my brother and sister through college,

which I feel they need more than I do. I also believe that the faster I work, the less burden is for my mom;

after all, isn’t that something a good oldest child needs to do, especially a son?

I’ve been trying to help my mom as much as I can to lower her burden with all the chores and

work, though I still study hard and maintain my good grades at school. It is not an easy task. Sometimes I

feel tired and often think to myself “If dad’s still with us, everything would’ve been better”; “why did he

left us?” It’s a thought that I know I will never get any answers to. I only hope that everything will be

better soon and the only realistic option I feel best, would be to graduate as fast as I can and find work as

soon as possible. I can’t afford to lose any time by playing around, take a break or go on any vacation like

any other students. Actually, it’s not that I have any choice but I know that I need to choose what is best

for my family. As I sit in my chair everyday at my classroom, I look out the window where I can see all the

wooden houses of the village and endless green rice patties around the school. I think to myself and been

wonder “what is the purpose of my life?”; “Is this where my future will be?”; “Why do I feel that I’m

missing something?” I stop and listen but there’s no sound at all, only the sound of the wind blowing by,

and a few chirping sounds from birds flying in the sky, but the rest of the world seems to be in a lifeless

silent. I’m not sure what’s going on but I feel so confused about myself and don’t know what’s causing it, if

only I knew what I’m looking for. It almost seems like my life has already been written by someone and

I’m not allowed to change it or even think about my life differently.

Then on this very hot and humid day; I come back to class after having a hard-boiled egg with a

handful of sticky rice from home. I’m reading my textbook about physics ready for tomorrow’s test when

my class teacher came in the room exhausted, grasping for a deep breath of air desperately when finally

he‘s settle down, standing with a smile on his face. He starting to walk on toward the center of the class

and says “Students, I have great news for you today. We’re having a surprise guest. A famous pianist is

going to perform for us for free at the flag pole in front of the school this afternoon.” After the teacher left,

everyone in class burst into excitement and joy since many students wanted to be off from school, some

wondered what does the pianist looks like, and some wondered, “what’s a pianist?” I don’t see the

point of going to this event since I’m not sure what it’s about. I’m sure it’s just another show. I feel that

going home and helping mom work would be a lot more productive, but I have no choice but to stay

since attendance will be taken at the show. Our class teacher came in and led us to the performance area

and everyone sat down with great excitement and eager for the musician to start. I brought my physic’s

textbook from my bag-pack and began to review for my test. As I begin to read, very loud clapping

started indicating the arrival of our guest, but I still didn’t really give my full attention much. I’m so

focused on my study that nothing can interrupt me; then suddenly a wonderful sound traveled through

the air and circulated around the school like a big wave stunning and overwhelming everyone in the

area. I stop everything and turn my focus to the stage at the flagpole looking at the large, glossy black

music instrument. It is something that I’ve never seen before and I believe its call a grand piano.

I’m hypnotized by the sound of the odd-looking musical instrument. The sound that it makes is so

gentle and attractive and the harmony I hear makes me feel as if I’m drifting away with the sound. The

pianist plays his grand piano so smoothly and delicately as though he is playing a wave of water or the

cloud on the air. Suddenly, I can see the entire school focused on a single spot and everyone seems as

though they are under a spell cast by the musical instrument called the grand piano. As the music is still

being performed, I also notice that the performance not only had the entire schools attention, but it is

also having an affect on the people in the village as well. People stop what they’re doing and start to

gather around the school area; the village is suddenly in a stand still. How can a single instrument have

this power on an entire village, I wondered. Finally the music ended, everyone froze for a moment as

though they were coming out from being hypnotized, then a loud applause and scream of joy and

laughter burst out into the air like I’ve never seen before. It is an atmosphere that I’m not familiar with;

actually it’s an atmosphere that I’ve never seen before. It was amazing!

After the performance, I’m still under its spell; the music is playing nonstop in my head. I cannot stop it

although I don’t want to. I’m enjoying this feeling. I’m relaxed and happy about it. We walk back to our

classroom and everyone in my class can’t stop talking about the performance. As the class fills with

excitement from the experience, our class teacher came in and asks, “Did everyone enjoyed the

performance?” Without hesitation, my entire class including me shouts, “YES! We did.” The teacher

smiles and says, “Good, now I have another surprise for you. We are going to have the pianist teaching

everyone the basics in playing the piano for our music class.” The teacher didn’t even have the chance to

finish her sentence. Every student is jumping up with joy. I am so happy that I can’t remember when was

the last time I felt the way I am now.

We walk from our regular classroom to the music class full of excitement once again. No one in the class

can believe how lucky they are today. I pinch myself with a thought that I’m in a dream and didn’t want

to wakeup but it is real as much as it can be. As I walk into the music class, the large glossy black grand

piano has been magnificently placed at the front of the classroom. The young pianist stands proudly, and

smiles at everyone as we find our seats. He starts to teach us the basics about music and the piano. I’m so

focused on his words that I didn’t want to blink my eye so I wouldn’t miss anything the pianist said. I’ve

written down almost every single thing he said about how to play the piano and important information

about it. At this moment, I want to know more about the piano. I want to know everything about the

piano and I want to know how to play the piano. I can’t believe what is happening to me but I think,

without question, I just fell in love with the piano.

At the end of the music class, the pianist said, “Well, the class is almost over and I have to go back to the

capital city, Bangkok. I also have to take the grand piano back with me, too.” At that moment, I thought to

myself “I knew this was too good to be true. Today will be over and tomorrow everything will be back to

the way it was. Where can I get a piano to play, who will teach me and guide me, and will I ever have the

chance to play the grand piano again ever?” Then the pianist said “But, I brought a piano that we think is

suitable for every one of you and we’re going to donate it for your school. It might not be as new as the

one I have now but I can assure you that its quality is as good as this black grand piano.” Listening to what

he said, I almost jumped and yelled with joy, but most of my friends seemed to be not as excited as I am. I

guess they enjoy the class they didn’t want the class to be over.

At the end of the music class, I walk up to the pianist and said, “Hi, I’m very interested in this musical

instrument. It’s something that I’d never seen before. Am I going to be able to play this instrument? Will I

ever be as good as you?” The pianist smiled, looking at me with his full attention and said “Why of course

you will be able to play this instrument and with practice you will play as good as I am or even better.

The most important thing when you play a piano is your heart and your passion.” He walked over to his

table, gathered his belongings and walked back to me handing me his book and papers. “Here, you’ll need

this for practice. This book will teach you how to play the piano as a basic knowledge and these songs

should be good for your practice,” he said. I step back and said, “Oh, I can’t accept this teacher. It’s too

much and it’s yours. Thank you so much though.” But without any hesitation, the pianist put everything

into my hands and said, “Don’t worry, it’s alright. I have more at home and my university. I’m glad that I

can help someone that has the interest and appreciates music like you, but you have to work hard and

practice a lot. I’ll be waiting for you.” He smiles once again, turns away and walks out of the room while I

stand there with my heart overwhelmed by his kindness. I want to tell him thank you but I don’t know why

I can’t force myself to say anything. The musical room that was once filled with joy is now ghostly silent. I

walk out and head toward my classroom with my new book, my own musical notes and a smile. I can’t

wait to start learning how to play the piano.

A Lucky Day

~Seoung Woo Lee

! Seoul Train Station, one of the most crowded places in Seoul, ate and threw out about 10,000 people

every day. The big electronic watch that hung over the entrance of the platform was indicating 4:45 a.m. on

Friday, March 10. The station was still buried in deep darkness. Faint light of the station reflected tired iron

faces of those early passengers waiting for the first train arriving at five a.m. Their empty eyes were all

directed at the entrance, as they sat still on hard wooden chairs in two or three like stones. They seemed to

close all paths to the outside world except their ears opened to the sound of the first train. Coldness on that

early day in March made them shrink their necks deeply into their coats as possible. They would be inside

those turtle homes until the shining sun called them out. People were desperately waiting for the warm days

of their life under the sunshine.

There was a man, named Su-il, lying at the corner of the eastside of the station building where the men’s

restroom was. He was sleeping in a dirty winter coat. There was only one side of a paper box beneath his

back and a couple of newspapers covering his bent body. Coldness from the cement floor of the station

snapped at Su-il’s back to wake him up. He coughed bitterly several times, desperately looking for nicotine.

He stretched his right hand to check his bag for cigarettes in vain. He remembered the moment of his last

cigarette the following night. He swallowed his saliva for desire. He turned his head in unexpected luck.

Sometimes, there was a long cigarette butt on the floor that a passenger threw away to get on his train in

haste. There was none. He breathed deeply. A guy on a bench was about to light a cigarette. Su-il wished

that the cigarette was in his own mouth. He heard ringing. The first train was coming to the station. The

guy threw his cigarette away and hurried to go to the entrance. Su-il slowly stood up and walked to the

cigarette like a male lion approaching his meal. He picked it up. He sat on the bench where the guy left and

lit the cigarette. He breathed in long and deep. The smoke rose upward. He sat down on the bench where

the guy had sat. He thought, “What a lucky day.” He took another puff of his cigarette. He looked at his

sleeping place. He had lived there for last three years. His spot was a safe place to live because it was not too

crowded and not too isolated even though it was smelly and not too agreeable.

About 30 homeless people live at the train station. Most of them lived in the subway station, the underworld

beneath the train station. The subway station was warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer than in

the train station. More than that, there were several showers for subway workers. However, such a

comfortable living comes with a price. Wang-gi, a violent ruler of the underground world, demanded those

living there, to pay. Everyone who lived at the long isle connecting the subway station with the big mall was

afraid of Wang-gi. He was a brutal and cruel 24 year old man. Nobody knew where he came from or what

he had done before he came to rule the homeless living in the station. Wang-gi forces other subway

residences to show him what they have earned each day. If they refuse, they have to endure Wan-gi’s bloody

attacks. Wang-gi calls the subway station “Heaven.”

Three years ago when Su-il came to Heaven, Byung-jin, who was living there, helped Su-il learn to live as a

homeless man. He taught Su-il know how to survive being homeless; where he could get free morning meals

on Monday through Friday; where he could get some money from a charity once a month; where he could

buy a meal just for a dollar. Byung-jin quickly became a heartfelt friend for Su-il’s new world. Byung-jin

wore thick-rimmed framed glasses that looked large for his small frame of 5 feet 5 inches. At first, Su-il

could not understand why such a kind and diligent Byung-jin was living like a rat. Not so much later, Su-il

discovered the reason. Byung-jin was an alcoholic. Although Byung-jin was usually mild mannered, he lost

his mind whenever he was drunk. He left home when he found out his wife had betrayed him and ran away

with five years ago. After that, drinking was a part of his life and he became addicted to alcohol. Alcohol

melted down everything in his body except his anger. Drinking even a drop of liquor, Byung-jin would

storm around the station with a knife, raging “I kill you, bitch. Where are you?” He ran and ran around

Heaven waving a knife to kill anyone. After an hour or so, he would fall into a deep sleep. Whenever

Byung-jin was drunk, others escaped Heaven for a while waiting for him to fall asleep.

Byung-jin was found dead early one Sunday morning. Other homeless who lived in Heaven found him.

They were so astonished they called the police. Policemen came an hour later from the first report. The

knife that belonged to Byung-jin was deeply lodged into his chest. Nobody saw what happened. Weirdly,

Byung-jin’s dead face was smiling. The policemen isolated the spot. Then they looked into several things and

shot several pictures. They interviewed with those who found him first. It took them only 15 minutes. The

police never came again to find any clues for the murder. Everybody living in Heaven said that the murderer

was sure to be Wang-gi. At the night before the day Bung-jin was found dead, Byung-jin came back to

Heaven drunk. Others ran away. While running, they felt something was different because Byung-jin did not

shout his hatred to his wife but went toward Wang-gi. Although people did not see what happened to

Byung-jin they believed that Wang-gi killed him. There was a reason.

Byung-jin was saving some money to use for finding his wife again without letting Wang-gi know

about it. However, Wang-gi discovered it and ravished his money. Byung-jin tried to keep his money

against Wang-gi in vain and was severely beaten for hiding money. Then, on that Saturday, Byung-jin

showed up drunk. There was no evidence, but Su-il firmly believed the rumor. Also he never believed

that the police would arrest any murderer. From the day when Byung-jin passed away, Su-il left Heaven

and lived at the train station above the subway. There, it was so hot in the summer and extremely cold in

winter. Su-il thought that it would be better to be frozen to death rather than live with a murderer at a

warm place.

His cigarette was almost burning his finger. He inhaled the last puff of smoke from his cigarette

that had no more tobacco to burn. He threw the butt away. He saw the clock. It indicated 5:05 am. He

still had to wait for 20 minutes for breakfast. Fierce wind scratched his face. He trembled with cold. He

shrank his neck. He wanted to drink something hot that could warm up his frozen body. At that

moment, an old lady handed him a cup of hot coffee. She was holding a large thermos with coffee and

handing out coffee to people in need like him. He took a sip of the coffee and felt his body warming.

He headed to a shelter where free breakfast was served to homeless people. Good smells came

out of the kitchen. When he picked up his tray, a lady said good morning with a big smile and served

him breakfast of hot meat and seaweed soup and rice. She seemed to be a new volunteer staff for the

free dining room. For a short moment, her smile reminded him of his wife who passed away a long time

ago. He hurried to finish his breakfast and left the dining room. Memories of his family had been

numbed for a long time until this morning. He tried to keep all of these memories asleep deep in his

mind. He walked hurriedly to the place where he sat and begged all day. Each day started like that.

This morning the station was crowded with more people than usual which made his

basket filled with more money. Some people even threw down a few dollars into his basket. He emptied

his basket as soon as people walked away from him and some coins and bills piled up again. He said to

himself, “What a lucky day!” He went to have a lunch at a mobile free kitchen. On the way to the truck,

he saw an old lady with heavy looking baggage. He had never spoken to anybody or offered help. On

that day, an odd feeling led him to do something strange. He strong feeling overcame him to help the old

lady with the baggage. He walked up to her and asked if she needed help. At first, she seemed to be

surprised to see him and stepped back a little. At that moment he regretted asking, but the same feeing

that he had felt just before made him offer again. She nodded with a tranquil smile. He grasped and

carried her heavy baggage without saying anything. When he turned away the old lady stopped him

and left 10 dollars in his hand and gave him the same tranquil smile. “What a lucky day!” He didn’t help

her to make money, though. He took the money from her anyway.

After lunch, he went back to the spot assigned to him. He sat and started begging again. He hardly ever

looked up and saw people passing by him when he was begging. He just sat looking down mumbling

thanks to the people who dropped some coins to the basket in front of him. He had been sitting as silent

as a monk in a temple without movement when he heard a little girl. The little girl came up to him and

stood in front of him. She whispered to him, “I hope it would be helpful to you,” taking out all the

money from her pocket. He couldn’t look at her and even say, “Thank you.” He felt like he had stopped

breathing. He just kept watching her lovely little shoes. When the little girl turned and walked away from

him, he lifted his head slowly and looked at her. He heard her giggle as she was pointing to a yellow

butterfly floating next to her. Her other hand was in her mother’s and she was skipping, as if dancing to

the music. She was wearing a red and black coat and lovely black hat. A hat….. Suddenly his eyes

became watery and blurred.

It was in the spring of 1998, with a notice that he gotten fired from the company he had been working

at for over 10 years, when his tragedy started. Korea was suffering from an economic crisis called IMF

Crisis. The news was filled with many businesses driven into bankruptcy. People were laid off from their

jobs and dreams of the people destroyed by their sudden hardships. "He couldn’t escape the crazy

whirlwind of being laid off. He was kicked out with nothing on that sudden spring day. He couldn’t tell

his family he had lost his job. He left home early the next morning as usual. He sat on a bench in a park

looking at people walking by absentmindedly. He had been running around seeking a job but the only

answer he got was NO.

When he got home, he had to squeeze out smile at his wife and a little daughter.

Su-jin, Su-il’s wife, had just been released from the hospital and lay in bed at home. She was

diagnosed with ovarian cancer in December. She was fading away every day. She was going through

chemotherapies but it didn’t seem to be working. The only thing he saw was the cancer make her weak,

sore, tired and so sick that she couldn’t move. He prayed and cried to God to save his family. However,

the cancer continued until it took Su-jin’s life and it took a part of his life, too. That harsh spring ended

up destroying him.

He was desperate after he lost his wife. He was left behind with enormous debt and a little daughter

in his crumbled world. When he lost his job, he lost his insurance as well. All the bills from the hospital

pressed down on him. He was drank all day long. He yelled and spat out curses at people on the street

day and night. He couldn’t find a job. He felt nobody in the world wanted him. His landlord told

him to move out by the end of March. He hadn’t paid his rent for a long time. He gave up.

One beautiful day in March, Su-il packed a suitcase and off he went home with his young daughter,

Bomi. They hopped on a bus and sat on it for long. The little girl asked her dad where they were

heading. He didn’t answer her and just looked out the window. Instead, he managed to ask her what she

wanted to have as her birthday present. She was turning 7 in March. She thought for a while and

answered. “Dad, I would like to have a hat with pretty bow. I’d like to have a picnic with you and wear

my hat.” He didn’t turn his head to his little girl. He just listened to her with his eyes fixed to the

window. Finally, they got to a 3-story building. She could read a sign hanging over the main entrance. It

said Angels’ House. Su-il made a promise that he would make money to buy a pretty hat and would be

back to take her out of the orphanage soon. Bomi was panicked and couldn’t catch her breath. She just

nodded her watery eyes. Her heart was broken. His heart was broken. That night he cried and cried like

deep wounded animal. He shut the window to the world. He lost a word. He lived on the street, settled

down at the Seoul Station. He made a living by begging. He trapped himself in the dark isolated world

without any hope.

The little girl in the black hat reminded him of the promise he made to his daughter. He ran out of

the Seoul Station. ‘What is the date today?’ he asked himself. It has been such a long time since he had

even cared about the time or date. He looked around and found a bank. He went inside the bank and

saw a calendar on the wall. It was March 10th. It was the day before Bomi’s birthday. He felt his heart

beating fast. Suddenly he felt wide awake. He put his hand into the pocket and felt his money. He felt the

good luck of the day in his pocket. He took out all the money and asked a bank teller to exchange all the

coins to bills. He had about 70 dollars. “Would it be enough to buy a hat for Bomi?” He knew what to

do. He walked straight into a hat shop. A young lady working in the shop made a face when she saw

him. She took him for a beggar steeping into her shop. He said, “I’m looking for a hat for my daughter.

She will have her 10th birthday tomorrow. I want to buy a pretty hat for her. She wants to have a picnic

with me in her new birthday hat. Would you help me?” The young lady listened to him and showed

him a hat with beautiful flower prints. “What about this one? This adorable hat has a wide brim to

protect your daughter from the sun. It’ll be perfect for her on a picnic day. I bet she’ll look so pretty in

this one.” He liked the flower prints. “I’ll take it.” The lady put the hat in a box wrapped with lovely

birthday paper. He paid for the hat and walked out of the shop. He walked quickly to a bus stop and

boarded the bus. Looking out the window he saw green fields that ran on and on. He was excited to

soon see Bomi. He could hear his heart. “She might have grown into a big girl. How tall might she be now?

‘What if she doesn’t recognize me? Will she like the hat? What should I say to her first?” thoughts were

flooding his mind. He couldn’t wait to see her.

He rang the bell at the main entrance of the orphanage. Ms Honey who was in charge of the

orphanage welcomed him and led him to the office, just like 3 years ago. He could barely open his mouth to

say, “Bomi.” He couldn’t continue talking. Ms Honey let him sit down on a chair and started to say. “ I think

I might remember you. You’re Bomi’s father, Mr. Kim. When you entered Angels’ House, I found Bomi

very well looked after by her dad. Bomi was just like you. Am I right?” Su-il lowered his head in shame and

managed to say. “That’s right. I’m Su-il Kim, Bomi Kim’s father.

I brought her here 3 years ago. I’m so ashamed! I came here to see her now.” Silence stayed between them

for a few seconds. Ms Honey said, “I don’t know what to say now. I regret to say that Bomi is not here now.

Oh, I feel so sorry ……. Bomi had been ill with pneumonia and fought against it. She was in the hospital

for a month suffering from a high fever. The doctors couldn’t do anything for her. She passed away just last

month. We tried to reach you in many ways but we couldn’t contact anybody who could reach you. I feel so

very sorry for that.” Su-il couldn’t believe his ears. He was so shocked. He couldn’t say a word. He dropped

a box with the hat down on the floor. Ms Honey opened a drawer of her desk and took out a document. She

pushed the paper toward Su-il. At a glace he saw it was Bomi’s hospital records.

He couldn’t read the paper. He sat down and tearfully grabbed the paper. He couldn’t say anything for a

while. Ms Honey said she would drive him to the cemetery where Bomi were buried. He picked the hat box

up and stood up. He dragged himself out of the building with Ms Honey. While driving, she told him how

Bomi lived at the orphanage. “She was good and nice. She always said that you would come back soon to

take her home again.” Su-il seemed to hear Bomi’s voice from somewhere, “I miss you daddy.”

The cemetery was not far from Angels’ House. They stopped in front of Bomi’s grave. Su-il sat down and

hugged the gravestone and kept crying. Ms Honey patted his shoulder and left him alone. He begged and

begged for forgiveness from his daughter. He just kept saying, “Sorry, Sorry…..” He opened the box and

took the hat out carefully. He hung the hat over the gravestone. A yellow butterfly caught his eye flying over

the grave. His eyes were following the butterfly for a long time. He stood still at the cemetery on his lucky

day.

~The End~