Layali Webzine Vol.1 Issue One

NOORTAGOURILAYALIDomestic Violence

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7TO

YASMIN MOGAHED’S

BETTER FAMILY RELATIONS

Steps

Tafsircorner

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RamadanNutrition

SUMMER

2013fashionTRENDS

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Volume 1, Issue 1

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editors’ letterSalam,

Growth doesn’t happen over one night, but over many.

Layali Webzine, or many nights in Arabic, is an online-only lifestyle magazine and blog that focuses on the lives of Muslim women.

Since the Muslim community in the West is multiplying day-by-day, we decided to create a platform to help Muslim women express their thoughts and learn from one another.

Layali aims to help young women grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically by discussing issues that relate to religion, school, careers, marriage, motherhood, health and fitness, food, fashion, travel, relationships, politics and the overall Muslim community.

It is tough growing up in general, but the added influences of American pop culture and peer pressure only make it more difficult. Ultimately, the Webzine and blog are outlets to help one another grow by sharing our experiences, giving advice and uniting through our rich and diverse identities.

When asked by our Journalism professor what magazines we each subscribed to, we hesitated to answer because we felt little relativity to the mainstream magazines that fill each aisle in grocery stores. By creating Layali, we hope to give young Muslim women a chance to share their stories and simultaneously counter the misperceptions that surround them.

This first issue focuses on the idea that in order to achieve your goals, you must be driven, passionate and willing to take risks. Noor Tagouri (on the cover) shows how taking risks in Italy and trying new things can lead to newfound passions and successes similar to others in the Webzine who opened up their own business (p. 20) or ran their first marathon (p. 32).

We hope the real-life examples of everyday Muslim women in Layali inspire you to explore your passions and follow your own dreams!

Keep faith,Omama Altaleb & Rawan Elbaba

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theteam

We invite any of you Muslim American

ladies to contribute to Layali Webzine through

your experiences, talents and skills. (For more information on contributing, please visit the Contribute

page) at layaliwebzine.com.

Please remember, this is a Webzine for you,

about you and by you.

Find us and like/follow us on…

Facebook

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Pinterest

Ask Page

LayaliColumnists:

Spirituality- Zainab AlwaniCareer- Sana Mohammed

The Wife Life- Fatimah PopalNutrition & Health- Nour Zibdeh

Fitness- Alexandra KhouriFashion- Somayyah Ghariani and Shamis Hussein

Food- Sosan Azmeh and Zaynab IrshadTravel & Exploration- Noha Hamid and Masouna

KochajiBeauty/Tutorial- Nadia Shahzad

Book Reviews- Noor Alwani

General Contributors:Nashiha PervinZohra Alnoor

Hasnia BekkadjaFarah Albani

Executive EditorRawan Elbaba

Editior-in-ChiefOmama Altaleb

Layali’s first issue is dedicated to the kids at the Tashirat Orphanage in Tepoztlan, Mexico. Please see page 57 for more information.

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CONTENTS6Deen & Spirituality

Finding Space

7 Tafsir of the word "layl," night

9Life -- In School

Five Tips for College Freshmen

11 Laws of Life

Life -- (Care)eer

Let the Chips Fall Where they May

Ted Talk: Why 30 is not the new 20

12

15Life -- The Wife Life

Oppan Bengali Style

The Getting Married Checklist

16

18Life -- Motherhood

A Balancing Act20

24Feature

Noor Tagouri

28Health

Five Tips for Ramadan

6

12

16

20

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30Fitness

We shall overcome the Tough Mudder

32 Quest for a 5K

35 Workout of the Season

36Fashion

Modest Runway

38Splash into Summer Fashion

40Summer Fashion Trends

42 Dressing for Special Occasions

44 Eid Outfit Possibilities

Food

Beet Salad Recipe46Travel & Exploration

MWB Volunteer Abroad56

Linked In

Makespace62Contemplating the Crisis in Syria64

Relationships

Seven Steps to Better Family Relations60

Reviews 66Make up Tutorial68

32

42

56

64

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DEEN

As emotional beings, we often put pressure on people and places to fulfill this void inside of us; we

expect to find full comfort in new spaces or new relationships. As a Muslim woman, I can begin to list the number of struggles that I feel I face on a daily basis. However, this year has by far been my hardest. With parents who are American converts to Islam, my family was a minority within a minority; we were one of the few American Muslim families within our community (predominantly made up of Arab and South Asian Muslim immigrants.) To say the least, I never exactly fit in. In between negotiating my very own identity and trying to simply explain it to others, the idea of a home within the community was a utopian one. As I became older, being an outsider continued to haunt me. Although I was previously pre-occupied by matters of racial, ethnic and cultural differences, my focus gradually changed as I entered college and found myself confronted by a clash of ideologies. At college, my conservative values were repeatedly challenged by my "liberal" classmates who couldn't wrap their minds around the concept of organized religion and submission to a higher power. When I returned to my hometown masjid, I felt like the odd ball for wanting to challenge the status quo with my repeated use of the "f word:" feminism. My experiences left me feeling like an outsider in almost every space I stepped into and it left this undying urge to find a space

Finding Space

conducive to all of my identities, a place where I could simply be me. I resorted to traveling to fill my void. About two years ago, I left the country for the first time for a 4-month adventure to Morocco. I naively started my journey expecting to find home. Even looking back in my journal I remember writing, "this just might be my place." While in Morocco, I traveled across the country doing research and making many failed attempts at practicing my elementary level Darija (Moroccan language). Every new destination bought a premature excitement for the possibility of belonging. However, in my quest for "home," I learned a far greater lesson: we were made for something far greater. My favorite Rumi poemtells the story of the reed, and how its song tells the tale of pain of separation from his master. As a metaphor, this poem serves to remind us that this life is merely a stopping point in a much larger journey. The poem begins with the powerful line, "Listen to this reed, how it

makes complaint, telling a tale of separation." The beginning of the poem described the origin of the soul's love and its innate desire to return to the unity of its homeland, it place of origin. Home is not a destination on this earth. The perfect place with the perfect people is nearly nonexistent. And the more pressure we put in finding these utopian spaces, the more we are left disappointed in the world we live in. By no means does that imply that we shouldn't search for happiness on this earth, but that there's something special about the fact that perfection might not be found on this earth, even while you may find happiness. It's a taste of something better, and for that, I am grateful.

Rasheeda Abdul-Musawwir is a co-editor of the website ‘Coming of Faith’ -- a literary anthology project looking to collect a variety of stories of real women who faced real struggles and at the end of the day, identify as a part of the Muslim faith.

For each issue, Layali will feature some of these stories!

By: Rasheeda Abdul-Musawwir, Photo Courtesty: Coming of Faith.

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SPIRITUALITYThe Night: Beauty, Reflection, & Understanding

TAFSIR Corner

(3:190) Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding.

Dr. Zainab Alwani, Islamic Studies Assistant Professor at Howard University and Vice President of the Fiqh Council of North America, explains the meaning and understanding of the word "layl" in the Quran.

(3:190-195) The Qur'an repeatedly uses the night and the day as signs that invite people to reflect and contemplate in order to understand their surroundings. People always see the night and the day. It became a routine and not a sign that requires reflection. The Qur'an presents the night and the day to teach people the depth and the complexity around them. The differences of the two should be studied as a sign of strength. Perfection can't be achieved without one another. The night and the day complete each other. Therefore, the differences among people should be seen as a sign of strength. The Qur'an further clarified this in terms of gender in Surat al Layl, the Night 92. The mystery of sexes runs through all aspects of life. There is attraction between the opposite; each performs its own function, having special characteristics and yet both have common characteristics that balance and complement each other. Each is indispensable to the other. Here, striving is necessary to the highest good, peace and tranquility.

The Qur'an makes the night as the base to do all good in order to achieve peace and tranquility. The Qur'an describes the night to cover and hide things and secrets that sometimes we don't like the others see. However, the Qur'an encourages people to make the night the time to reveal all our hidden goodness. Our main goal should be pleasing God alone. Allah invites us to speak and connect with him secretly at night. Night prayer is a way to teach people sincerity and taqwa, being mindful of Allah.

(73:6) Indeed, the hours of the night are more effective for concurrence (of heart and tongue) and more suitable for words.

Many surahs emphasize that the night brings peace, stability and safety (sakn). The best time to connect with the creator is through night prayers. It brings self-peace, serenity and harmony. (73:6, 20), (17:78-79). Amazingly, Allah (SWT) takes the night to implement sincerity through give charity secretly at night to the needy. People usually seek recognition from the public, however, Allah in 2: 274 encourage us to hide our charity sometimes and give it secretly. Achieving the highest level of taqwa requires training; therefore, good deed at night is one way to accomplish this. In conclusion, the night encourages meditation and contemplation in order to achieve peace and tranquility.

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LIFE

By: Nashiha Pervin

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IN SCHOOL

Five Tips for College Freshmen

So you've decided what college you're going to attend, graduated high school and are so psyched about heading to college! You're thinking: freedom, independence and that you're ready to conquer the world. Oh what's that? Tuition? Class sched-ules? Bad professors? Studying? Are you telling me that I ACTUALLY have to study? Wait, I have to buy my own scantrons too? All the sudden shocks that come with

transitioning into a college student!

Well, here are five tips for you to dwell on as you make your transition from a cute high-school attendee, to the adult-life college student.

.

It’s okay to be lost.

Discover yourself.

1 One thing nobody told me coming into college was that it's okay to be lost and not know your way around. Many college freshmen feel pressured and overwhelmed with everything that is around them that they feel the need to know everything right away. Take a chill pill my "widdle" freshmen and know that you"re not the only one who is in that phase, there are probably 1000+ other freshmen feeling the exact same way. Allow yourself to observe and absorb the new atmosphere and gradually gain familiarity. Whether it is getting to know what services your college provides you with, or meeting new people. Take it one step at a time.

2 What do I mean by this? Well this is the time where you can spread your wings and really delve into the person you are. No more high school rules/restrictions/policies structuring you a certain way. I mean don't get me wrong, colleges still have policies regarding safety and student rights, but this is the time where you can act upon your passions. You like imitating Harry Potter and flying on janitor brooms? Go for it. Are you passionate about technology and its future developments? Join an honor society. Are you one who incorporates their religion into everything they do? Join a religious organization. This is college, where you are allowed to be you. Discover who you are, and perhaps that may help you discover what you want from your college experience -- and ultimately -- life!

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Make friends.

You have many choices, learn to make decisions.

4 In high school, due to proximity, you were compelled to be friends with those who were near you and limited to them only. However, in college, where there are kids coming from out of state, and even out of the country, you have a variety of options and people to choose from to befriend. Trust me when I say there are individuals from every background/interest/religion you can associate with, but this is the time where you make bonds with people who you feel you can really identify with. No longer is a teacher standing over your shoulder saying "now now Tommy, be friends with Kim, she is your classmate after all." ...Can I get a Hallelujah? College gives you the freedom to mingle with whomever you want, without ever making you feel like you're forced to be friends with someone. Make friends, but make them wisely, for they can either give you the best college experience ever or no college experience at all. Be smart about it. A wise man once told me: use that noggin!.. Ok guilty, I just made that up.

5 You have the choice of not going to class, not showing up for lectures, not attending organization meetings, not doing assignments, not being on time and not attending college in general. You have several options laid out in front of you, some more tempting than others. This is the phase of your life where critical-thinking skills and calculating the consequences of your actions come into play. You will be faced with various choices in life, and it is up to you to make decisions. Sometimes, we make good decisions and other times, not so good. No matter what choices you're faced with, reflect on the consequences/benefits, make a decision and allow yourself to learn from your decisions. You will soon learn that the very direction your life is headed towards is the product of those very decisions you've made along the way.

Learn how to study. "Really? I ACTUALLY have to study?" Referring back to the question posed at the beginning of this article, the answer is simple: Yes. Yes, you have to study and can't just "wing it;" however, not only do you have to just study, you need to learn how to study. Now, I wish there was a universal method to studying that would just work for every single person. Sad truth is: there isn't. That is because a study method is not something that is attained, rather something that is developed. You have to test yourself to see how you study best. Some people study best in a noisy atmosphere, with a whole lot of music, dancing, singing, karaoke, no books, and shoving their faces with the best halal gyros ever, but then again, that's not studying *boo boom tss.* But going back to serious mode, this is something that you will naturally see yourself developing as your college career progresses. Following tip number two "Discover yourself," along with discovering your ambitions, you will discover how you function, acquire and retain information best. Studying is an important, must-have skill in college; make sure to understand how you study best!

3

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I thought I'd pass on the advice of my wonderful law professor from this past year. He's forever going to be a favorite. In the beginning of class, he played a song called "Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd. At the end

of class, he said this:

1. Question all the answers. Don’t be another brick in the wall.

Don't ever take anything anyone ever told you as truth. You need to make discoveries for yourself. You're college students, you're not stupid. If you believe something that others tell you without checking it out yourself, you are stupid. Make your own choices.

2. Issues can and should be discussed and compromises made. People that yell out loud and call others names rarely are willing to discuss or compromise, because they know the answer. They don't know the facts or have the ability to defend their position, but in their head, they've already cultivated an answer. Maybe they're wrong, or maybe they're right, but regardless, they aren't knowledgeable of both sides. Be knowledgeable of both sides. If you think you know the answer, you have stopped learning. You have built a dam to stop the flow of knowledge to your brain. You don't know everything, and you will never know everything. And once you get to the point where you think you do, they'll change everything.

3. Don’t try to impose your morals on anyone else. Remember that someday you may be in the minority -- do you want someone's morals imposed on you? We have different experiences, faiths and beliefs. People who scream the loudest say "You need to do this!" about religion, beliefs and practices, but a lot of them are the ones who aren't following the morals themselves during a point in their lives. Also, the morals you say you want enforced, do you really want them to be? Can you follow them, fully?

4. No one gets all the Oreos for themselves. There will be disappointments and heartbreak

throughout life. Welcome. It's all a matter of getting back up and seeing that the truest happiness you'll find is in the happiness of others. You are a part of society -- if you get some Oreos, share. We aren't going to change the system of the country. But in this society, you cannot do anything by yourself. You've had God, parents, teachers, bosses and governments that have helped you through it all. Unless you're living in the desert or the middle of the ocean, you did not do all of this by yourself.

5. Things change. You can't stop change in the long run. Try to make the change that is best for society. Make this land a place you're happy to call home for everyone.

6. No one knows what the outcome of any change will bring. Work with what you have the best that you can.

7. You can’t do anything/be anything you want. Sure, believe in the power of your dreams. Go all out. But we all have our mental and physical limitations. However, you don't know you can't do something unless you try -- really try. If you want to go to law school, go to law school. Work for it, and give your all for it. Don't sit there and say you can't if you haven't even started. You definitely won't make it then.

8. Decide what you want out of life. What is really important? You can't have it all. You must prioritize. You might not make it, but you might also find out that it wasn't for you.

9. Every generation believes that the previous generation screwed up the world. They did. Your generation probably will too. You will screw it up. But give it a shot, do it the best you can.

10. Lastly, live.

LAWS of LIFEBy: Noha Sahnoune

IN SCHOOL

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Let the CHIPS FALL

where they MAY

By: Zohra Alnoor, Photo Courtesty: Zohra Alnoor.

Zohra Alnoor with Tia Mowry.

Zohra Alnoor with Jessica Sanchez.

Zohra Alnoor with Tyrese Fibson and Rev Run.

[CARE]ER


Remember that scene from "She's The Man" where Amanda Bynes said, "Let the chips fall where they may?" If you don't, go watch the movie because it was hilarious. If you do, well, that's basically what I did with my life for a while and now I'm where I am today. I am a Muslim, I am an Afghan-American, I am a hijabi and I work at Fox.

This is not the right-wing, Bill O'Reilly Fox; but it is the New Girl, local news Fox. And yes, there is a difference. Trust me. Plus, who could ever hate on Zooey Deschanel? She's simply adorkable.

Zohra Alnoor with Tia Mowry.

Zohra Alnoor with Tyrese Fibson and Rev Run.

work, this is how a lot of my coworkers like to unwind. Hey, we all have our preferences. I myself enjoy coming home, changing into my penguin suit (literally, it's a penguin suit) and watching Korean Dramas until I fall asleep. That's just me. The first few times someone asked me to join the group I used excuses like: "I have class," "Have to finish some homework," or "I gotta feed my bird." Then one day I thought, 'I don't judge these people, so why do I think they'll judge me?' The next time they asked me to join, I had it planned in my head and told them, "Actually, I don't drink because of religious obligations, but you guys enjoy your night!" Their reply... "Oh okay, no worries! Have a great night Zohra!" It was great. I was so relieved. I got really comfortable after that. One time, a female coworker caught me mid-wudhu with my foot in the sink and we laughed it off. I explained to her what I was doing, and after that we had this sort of awesome silent connection thing going on. Every time she smiled at me, it was like she was silently saying, "You do your thing, foot-sink girl. You do your THING!" Today at work, I'm good friends with many of my coworkers. Everyone is kind and respectful to one another, and Alhamdulillah, I can say that I've never felt unwelcomed or out-of-place. What I initially thought would be a tough place of work, has now become my second home with my much larger and more diverse family. If anyone had asked me five years ago what I wanted to do when I was older, I never would have thought about television. But what started as an internship, has led me to dream even bigger dreams for myself and for my Muslim sisters. Who knows where the next five years will take me, but whatever road I travel down, will hopefully never break my connection with my faith. If it wasn't for Allah, I wouldn't be where I was today and I truly think that everything happens for a reason. Inshallah, my being where I am today can make a positive impact on the world not only for Muslims. I don't know how that will happen, because I really don't have everything figured out, but until I think of something, I'm going to "let the chips fall where they may" while keeping my head on straight as I continue my climb up this ladder.

Anyways, I began my career in television at the age of 21, with an internship at Fox 5 in Washington, DC. A television station in a top-ten market for my first internship was definitely not a bad way to start my climb up the career ladder. I didn't think I would get a job out of my internship, but after many (unpaid) hours at the station, a position opened up in the department that I had interned for and with the suggestion of an employee at the station, I applied. A little over a month later, with a year of college left to complete, I was offered the position. I still remember telling my dad I was given the job. He had just come home from work when I told him the news and he immediately dropped his lunchbox, his briefcase, smiled big, revealing all of his pearly-white teeth, then kissed my head and cheek and hugged me for a good minute. We were just quiet for that minute. Not a lot of things make me tear up (except for when Dumbledore died. Oh and Sirius Black. Wait, and Cedric Dig -- okay. I should stop), but in that moment, making him so happy, made me emotional. I was proud, that I made him proud. So my career had begun. I was the youngest employee in our building, the only woman in my department, and the only Muslim in our whole station. It was quite the culture shock. I went from constantly being around only Muslims day-in and day-out, to sometimes not seeing a single Muslim until I came home. It was my own personal struggle. I started to become more social, and for whoever knows me personally, I'm already very social. My problem for all of those years, was that I never tried being social with non-Muslims. Aside from one or two friends, who were not Muslim, but were on the same vibe as me (didn't drink, smoke, date etc.), all of my other friends were Muslim. Literally, ALL of them. That was when I realized that I was living in this comfortable bubble for years and I never noticed it. So I started building relationships with my coworkers. I started trusting them, and they started trusting me. As I did this, awkward situations came up. For example, Happy Hour. For those of you who may not know exactly what Happy Hour is, it's basically a time of the day when drinks are sold at reduced prices in a bar or restaurant. After a long day at

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As a young Muslimah of South Asian descent, I am painfully aware of how critical my 20s are. Societal pressure to get married and start a family at a young age persists in the South

Asian Muslim community. My parents regularly remind me that "I'm not getting any younger," so I really need to find a husband before "it's too late." Needless to say, when I saw Meg Jay's Ted Talk Why 30 is not the new 20, I initially skipped over it. I definitely didn't need to hear another lecture that would just echo what everyone else seemed to be saying: make the most of my 20s because life is pretty much downhill from there. Yet, the video surprisingly had over a quarter of a million views, so I had to see what all the fuss was about. While it does start off with a daunting list of stats that explain the importance of our 20s (such as the fact that "eight out of the ten "aha" moments that impact our life happen by our mid 30s" which made me want to turn back the clock and fly away to Neverland), the rest of the video offered three practical tips that all 20-somethings deserve to know. One of these three pieces of advice in particular really resonated with me: "Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital." If you're like most 20-year-olds, you have a few ideas of what you want to do, but no definitive path and you're not deadest on one destination either. It's perfectly normal, but don't take this as an excuse to waste these critical years of self-discovery. Instead, embrace this philosophy as a reason to stop worrying about exactly where you want to be five years from now and start focusing on developing yourself, or as Meg Jay puts it, building identity capital -- "something that adds value to who you are [and] an investment in who you will be next." Jay also points out that under a banner of self-exploration many of us fall prey to the alluring trap of procrastination. Some of us go through life not really thinking about our surroundings and our future(hyperlink). We pick our major based on our parents' expectations or our friends opinions which will get us through college just

Ted Talk: Meg Jay - Why 30 is not the new 20

fine, but then what? We've just procrastinated figuring out what we want our career path to be until we're so much farther down the road which throws even more obstacles in our way. Don't do this to yourself. Don't just get by haphazardly without critically analyzing your situation. Ken Robinson stated, "Very many people go through their whole lives having no real sense of what their talents may be, or if they have any to speak of." We've all heard people say they don't have a talent. Many of us have even said this about ourselves at one point or another, but truth be told, it's not that we are lacking a talent. We just have yet to discover our talent, and much of this is due to the fact that we don't branch out and try new things. We've got to become proactive about developing and discovering our unique skills and passions. You'd never know that you're incredibly musically inclined if you never pick up a guitar. You'd never know that you're an amazing baker if you don't step foot in the kitchen. On the other hand, you'd also never realize you hate party planning if you don't try it out. Don't waste your precious time majoring in Biology if you can't stand the thought of being in Med school. Don't procrastinate figuring out your future because you're watching the sixth episode of Vampire Diaries in a row. As cliche as it sounds, every moment is truly a gift -- so stop making assumptions, stop second guessing yourself -- get out there and explore your options. Volunteer. Intern. Get involved in organizations at your college or in your local community. Meet new people. Expand your network. All these things help you figure out what you like and dislike, while also building your resume. Most importantly, whether you're still in school or you just started working, it's never too late. As Meg Jay states, you "don't want be defined by what you didn't know or what you didn't do," so branch out, explore options and cultivate your skills. You never know where and when you'll stumble upon an opportunity of a lifetime.

layaliwebzine.com 15By: Sana Mohammed

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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), said that marriage is half of our deen. When my friend

Shamima reached her 20s, the idea of her marriage seemed to be the only constant, ubiquitous topic on her parents' minds. Therefore, she tried to remember this saying of the Prophet. She was excited, yet nervous at the prospect of this new stage in her life. She wanted a partner whose ideal purpose in life would be to serve Allah and strive for Jannah -- but she also wanted someone who would be open-minded, understanding and someone who wouldn't shout: "Women

21st century weddingsworking? Haram!" When her parents began the process of meeting suitors, she couldn't find this balance of character in any of them. The process went like this: her parents found a potential hubby for her, she was doubtful, but still gave it a try. The suitor visited her home with his family, they talked, and then Shamima practically interrogated him with a series of cleverly crafted questions to induce answers that would reveal his true character. After a few years of difficult searching and feeling hopeless

about finding the right person

Shamima left the matter up to Allah, and this is when she found the only person she felt a true connection with. Everything

from then on was a rush of excitement,

stress from wedding planning, breathless

moments of gushing,

happiness and shock. She still

couldn't believe she found "the one." South Asian weddings are usually three days of non-stop partying (halal, of course!). The first day begins with the

Oppan Bengali Style


21st century weddings

THE WIFE LIFE

Oppan Bengali Stylecultural tradition

of the "gaye

holud" -- which

literally translates to "turmeric on the body." At the gaye holud, everyone usually wears a range of yellow, orange, red or green colors.

The bride and groom, on the other hand, are seated on a raised dais while a stream of guests line up one-by-one to feed them sweets. Originally, the name of the

tradition derives from a practice in which family

members smear turmeric paste over the face of the bride and groom. Turmeric is believed to enhance beauty in South Asian culture and the tradition is a way of blessing the couple before their marriage. Sometimes, the gaye holud is replaced with henna

night, in which henna (temporary tattoos

from natural herbs), is used instead

of turmeric to decorate the bride's hands. Henna designs are very vibrant on the skin, with very intricate designs. The next day is the nikkah which is the official document signing and the declaration that you are officially married.

The last day is the wedding reception. But unlike American weddings, the color schemes are very vibrant with bright yellow, orange and red flowers decorated everywhere. The bride and groom also wear flowers around their necks. Another tradition in the South Asian culture is when the bridesmaids steal the groom's shoes and jokingly demand money. This is an amusing way of teasing the groom. Shamima, 23, is living this new stage in her life. She believes it is better to wait for the right person whom Allah has chosen for you even before your existence, because in the end, she says, it is an "indescribably incredible

experience."

By: Sadia Reza, Photo Courtesty: Sadia Reza

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The Getting Married Checklist

Young girls have long imagined their wedding days, from who their prince charming will be to the cake topper of a plastic runaway groom and his bride dragging him back. And they continue imagining every fine detail of that special day as they grow up to that suitable age of marriage. Many times, however, the more vital plans are left out. With catchy titles in wedding

planning magazines, "21 wedding hairstyles we love," to "Your ultimate flower guide," it is no wonder that what really matters is muted out while the lavish and glittering topics take center stage of a female's mind.

Although a bouquet of fresh peonies, a moist tres leches cake, and a Belgian-laced veil can set the mood of a wedding, it will not set the mood of a marriage.

Approaching the idea of marriage has to be done with diligence and caution. This does not mean excitement has to be subdued, but that the arrangements for the wedding should take a backseat to the thorough preparations for marriage.

So what are these more important premarital matters you should be concerned about? How do you put them into action?

Here's a list to check off as you begin to consider marriage:


The Getting Married Checklist1 Set Your Intention

Before you even get involved in speaking to someone, ask yourself, "Why am I getting married?" It sounds like a simple question, but it will certainly wake your thoughts up and get you thinking!

2 Make Dua

Throughout your entire life, make dua. Connecting with God and asking for His guidance before the process of marriage as well as during will help calm your nerves and give you the opportunity to put your trust in Him.

3 Discuss Expectations

Hear out what your parents expect for you and make your expectations known. It is very important not to skip this step! You don't want any surprises nor do your parents want to hear you say something they never thought you would say. There is a simple way to go about this. I call it the "Three Makers & Three Breakers." List the top three qualities your potential spouse MUST possess and the top three things you DON'T want them to have. This will eliminate pickiness and instead, help you focus on core qualities.4 Consider Prospects

Consider prospects suggested by parents. Believe it or not, parents have great insight into their children's personalities and have a good idea on who may be compatible with you. Be open to considering prospects suggested by the community as well as any prospect that approaches you. Inform them on how you prefer to go about the process.

5 Investigations

Once you start considering someone, it's time you put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and get informed on who this person is. Having friends and family is helpful as they can ask around and investigate the prospect. If you don't know many people, reach out to the local imam or others who are engaged in the community.

6 Meet with Prospect

Have meetings with prospect in a suitable environment in accordance with Islamic guidelines and what your family approves of. Get a feel for who they are and where they want to be. Ask important questions and LISTEN to the answers.

7 More Investigations

After meeting the prospect and learning a bit about him, it's a good time to investigate his claims and see if what he said is true. Is he the president of his university's MSA like he claimed to be? Does he work at the Fortune 500 company he mentioned?

8 Pray Istikhara

Now is a good time to pray the Istikhara prayer if you are mutually interested in taking it to the next level. God's assistance is the best sort of guidance to get.

9 Make Your Decision

Reach a decision to pursue marriage or part ways. If it doesn't work out, no worries; what is meant to be is also what is good for you. If it doesn't work out, it should be a smooth conclusion as you used logic more than emotions during the process and the experience will not leave you emotionally scarred.

THE WIFE LIFE

jMake Dua If you are getting married to this prospect, make dua for God to bless your marriage and continue making dua throughout your marriage. If you are not getting married to that particular person, make dua, take a reasonable break to move on, and then repeat steps 1 through 10. Use this time to help you grow and become a better person.

Once the items of this marriage checklist have been checked off successfully, you can proceed and go to your white gown fitting, makeup trial appointment and cake testing. Remember that every phase of life is to be cherished -- not just the end results -- but the process of getting there as well.

By: Fatimah Popal, Photo Courtesty: Sosan Azmeh

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A BALANCING

ACT Q&A with Noor Hamid, Owner of Noor Hamid Designs and Lush DessertsInterview by: Omama Altaleb, Photo Credit: Noha Hamid and Noor Hamid.


MOTHERHOOD

When did you first come up with the idea of starting your own business?After I graduated I got a couple of teaching positions, and started developing some hobbies. I picked up sewing and baking, both of which I fell deeply in love with. Sewing took a lot of effort and trial and error. I taught myself as resources for this type of skill are limited. Unless I was looking up tutorials on a certain task I was working on, it was difficult to get a greater understanding of the trade. I ended up taking old clothes that I wouldn't wear anymore, but that I liked the way they had fit, and ripping them apart and using them as patterns for my project. I ended up making a few things for myself and family that I took great pride in, and I desperately wanted to develop a line of my own. After I got a good grasp of sewing for a few years, I moved on to embroidering and appliqueing. I started off my hand embroidering bibs for my then infant daughter and it started to give me carpal tunnel. My husband and I decided to buy an embroidery and applique machine to be able to take my hobby to the next level. I then started making such amazing things like shirts for events for my daughter and her friends. I always made the best baby shower gifts since I would personalize the gift entirely to the recipient. I started to get so many requests from friends that it was necessary that I start charging for the amount of time it was taking for me to fulfill them. I started Noor Hamid Designs, in another form, on a great website called Etsy.com, also back in 2010. It started as a jewelry line, called Stoic Stone Jewelry. I changed the name to Noor Hamid Designs when I decided I wanted to be able to include many different products to the store than just jewelry. I bought the website NoorHamidDesigns.com in January this year and began to offer my products to everyone through my website, through Etsy and Facebook. I started Lush Desserts and bought the web domain back in 2010, and then I got pregnant and dropped everything. I didn't care for a business or a career anymore. I wanted to concentrate on the pregnancy and the baby, and after six years of marriage and hoping and praying for a baby, that was all I wanted to do: Be a mom. After almost three years of concentrating on family and friends, Lush Desserts was brought back to life in January 2013. That was when I was ready to start something up for me, and I felt that I had the mental capacity to deal with my toddler and a new burgeoning business or two. I started Noor Hamid Designs, in another form, on a great website called Etsy.com, also back in 2010. Lush Desserts is a local business only, meaning that we don't ship and require you to come pick up the desserts yourself. We are located in Tampa, Florida. We sell fruit tart, cheesecake, creme caramel (a.k.a. flan), chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookie cake, pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting, lemon pound cake with lemon glaze, and orange pound cake with orange glaze.

What is one creation you are most proud of and why?For Noor Hamid Designs I am probably most proud of my baby gift sets. They present beautifully and get the best reaction from the parents-to-be, their families and friends of the family. It always makes me happy to see someone using my products and with these sets, I see the moms using the burp cloths and blankets and headbands and everything else that is offered, constantly. It's very flattering and validating that all the time and effort that I had put into something was well worth it. For Lush Desserts the dessert I am most proud of is the fruit tart. Per my palate I actually prefer the cheesecake, but nothing beats the way a colorful, intricate fruit tart looks sitting pretty on a white platter at a dinner party looks. It's a show stopping dessert that tastes and looks incredible.

What do you enjoy most about baking?I enjoy many things about baking. The primary reason is the great treat at the end of the road. But a close second is seeing people really enjoying something that you spent

so much time and energy creating.

What are the different products you sell?Noor Hamid Designs has everything from headbands, to custom embroidery and appliqued shirts,

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blankets, burp cloths, bibs, dresses, to pacifier clips, and we are starting a girl's fashion line, inspired by my little girl.

What makes your businesses stand out from the rest? I am quite a Type A personality. Everything has to be absolutely perfectly in place and clean. I pride myself on having high standards and I bring my "A" game (Type A, that is) every time I get an order, no matter if it's for Noor Hamid Designs or Lush Desserts.

How do you balance motherhood with the business?This sweet spot balance between motherhood and my businesses is still something that I'm working on and quite new at. I feel as if I have my two year old daughter, and then I have the fictitious four month old twins, which are my two businesses. My four month old twins are a bit of work, and they definitely require time and dedication if I ever expect my businesses to go anywhere past my circle of friends and family. I haven't gotten to a point where I am spending more than five or so hours a week working on my businesses. I try to work around her naptime and bedtime. If I have more than usual workload, then I will either work while she's awake with me and playing around me, or I will work when

my husband comes home and he'll watch her until I'm done. It's still a work in progress, figuring out a system and all, but it hasn't been an issue so far.

What is most difficult about having your businesses? The most difficult thing about having my businesses is giving up most of my free time. I used to always look forward to my daughter's naptime for my break, to either eat, shower, take a nap myself, or even catch up on chores, but now a lot of my free time has transformed to work time. I feel as if my days are being eaten up by working either on the businesses or caring for my family. It takes skewing my thought process though, and deciding that my break is spending that

time with my daughter until I go back and work on my businesses, which are both also not real work, work for me. You know what they say: If you do something you love, you never work a day in your life. What do you hope to accomplish in the future?I hope to have a flourishing fashion studio for both women and children. There are exciting things in the works here. I am ready to start working on and developing a Muslim women's fashion line, and I couldn't be more excited and ready to get to work. Noor Hamid Designs will continue as it is, and adding the girl's fashion will be quite exciting also. Design, particularly fashion design, is a true passion of mine that will always drive my personal and professional lives.

Any advice for Muslim girls/ladies interested in starting their own business?I can't really see myself in an accomplished position yet to give advice freely, but I can say what I do know: Do something you love in your life. Figure out what it is that you love dearly and would dedicate your life to, even if it's just a little while, and do it. My demeanor and happiness has improved greatly since I started these businesses. I work more, sleep less, and have less free time, but man, am I happier. I feel like I'm working towards a long-term exciting goal and it's such a motivating factor in my choices in life. It's all worth it to me; even if I go out of both businesses tomorrow, and I never get another order for anything, it would have been all worth it -- just to know that I tried what I loved, and if it doesn't work out, it is not because I didn't try. That I had given it my all, and then my heart would be at peace knowing it was out of my hands and that it was God's will.


FEATURE

NOOR

tagouri

Q&A with Noor Tagouri, Interview by: Omama Altaleb and Rawan

Elbaba. Photo Courtesy: Omama Altaleb and Noor Tagouri.

With her agenda, pen, iPhone and laptop in hand, Noor Tagouri makes sure to carry around her journalist essentials. The 19-year-old sat down with Layali on a sunny Tuesday to talk about her trip abroad to study sexual and domestic violence in Italy. Even as an already-accomplish upcoming journalist, Noor admits her parents still needed convincing

to let her go on her 2-week trip abroad. "They know how passionate I am about it," she says. Traveling internationally was a first for the aspiring news anchor, let alone traveling with a group of strangers to a country you've never been to before with a culture you've never experienced. As an upcoming senior at the University of Maryland, College Park, Noor has already accomplished more than the average college student. After interning with CBS radio's WPGC 95.5, the beginning of her "Let Noor Shine campaign" to shadow as many journalists possible took off. Noor has shown us just how much ambition, passion and persistence pay off when your dreams are at stake.

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Did your parents need a lot of convincing for going?

My parents knew it was a go od opportunity. They needed convincing, but I was going to study sexual and domestic violence, and they know how passionate I am about it.

How did the views on women and domestic violence differ in Italy than in the U.S.?

Domestic violence doesn’t take one religion or ethnicity. We were going to compare domestic violence, the culture in Italy to that in the U.S. Some similarities and differences in Italian culture, even here, is that they are very close-knit, family-oriented and very cultural, so especially when you go to Sicily, women stay at home, and if they do work, their duty as a wife is more important than their duty to themselves.There is a big underreporting issue of domestic violence in Italy; people don’t talk about it, they don’t report. A big part of that are the men. We went to the University of Catania and met with sociology professors (two men) and both of them were like, ‘domestic violence rates are higher in the U.S. than in Italy, it barely happens here’ (and we responded, ‘because they don’t report it here’) and he said well what about your guns and why do you guys do this and that and he just kind of to ok it on a tangent and never addressed it. Because they know that underreporting is why rates are so much higher in the Unites States but it really isn’t.

We also visited a women’s shelter and they would talk to us about how the majority of the women who would come to the shelter were in their 30s, 40s and 50s because they are the women who literally can’t put up with it anymore, so it’s not something that people report right away. One of the ladies in charge of the shelter said, ‘the first thing we have to do is teach women that this isn’t okay, because the majority of them think that it’s apart of marriage and that it is acceptable.’

What was your favorite place?

Definitely Taormina because that is where I felt most connected to the culture, and that was the day I went down Mount Etna. I don’t know, I just liked the culture there; Italian culture is very rich.When I visited a high scho ol, Regina Elena high scho ol, in Catania, I talked to a group of girls who I still keep in contact with that were great. That is where I felt like I really learned the most about the culture. I asked them a lot of questions like what do you want to be when you grow up, what do you want to do?

These girls know up to like five languages, and are interested in cultures, and I asked them, what do you want to do, and they responded, ‘a teacher,’ and I asked, but why, there’s nothing wrong with being a teacher but if you’re interested in learning five languages and exploring different cultures then why not go into international relations and foreign policy, and they were like ‘what’s that?’ But these girls would ask me questions and I would send them all these career options and most of them, when you ask them what do you want to do after high scho ol, they’re like ‘I don’t know.’ College isn’t an option for them, it’s not like something that you do after high scho ol, it’s something that you might do, but you don’t have to because people in Sicily are po or so they end up just working and making a living; education is not a priority.

What was one thing that surprised you during your trip to Italy?

Something that was interesting is that nobody in that class had seen the movie “The Godfather” and the reason why that was shocking was because they complain about how foreigners always stereotype Sicilians of dealing with the mafia and they were like ‘we deal with the mafia and it’s a fear of ours, and they don’t dress up in fancy clothes and fancy cars. They stand outside of scho ols, they stand outside of little shops and they are famous or whatever.’ But when you go to the stores, they have all these Al Pacino shirts and Godfather posters and they've never even seen the movie. One girl said, ‘I hated the fact that when I visited Turkey or a different country they would all call me mafia girl when they found out where I was from.’

I didn't realize how much the role of the woman is in Italian culture. We see it in movies and Italian culture here, but I didn't realize it. It wasn’t very flamboyant, it was so subtle and casual like ‘I might just be a teacher, I don’t know if I even want to go to scho ol.’

What was the most important thing you learned from the trip?

To be honest, I wouldn't say what I learned on the trip the most had to do with sexual and domestic violence, it was mostly about myself. I went and walked miles and miles and miles all over Italy carrying a 10-pound tripod camera that I almost got deported for having at the Vatican. I almost got arrested because I was filming interviews; they deleted everything on my camera. I learned how to stand up for myself and grow thick skin. I guess just understanding people and learning how to communicate with people who aren’t similar to your culture. It’s important to not be afraid.


Did your parents need a lot of convincing for going?

My parents knew it was a go od opportunity. They needed convincing, but I was going to study sexual and domestic violence, and they know how passionate I am about it.

How did the views on women and domestic violence differ in Italy than in the U.S.?

Domestic violence doesn’t take one religion or ethnicity. We were going to compare domestic violence, the culture in Italy to that in the U.S. Some similarities and differences in Italian culture, even here, is that they are very close-knit, family-oriented and very cultural, so especially when you go to Sicily, women stay at home, and if they do work, their duty as a wife is more important than their duty to themselves.There is a big underreporting issue of domestic violence in Italy; people don’t talk about it, they don’t report. A big part of that are the men. We went to the University of Catania and met with sociology professors (two men) and both of them were like, ‘domestic violence rates are higher in the U.S. than in Italy, it barely happens here’ (and we responded, ‘because they don’t report it here’) and he said well what about your guns and why do you guys do this and that and he just kind of to ok it on a tangent and never addressed it. Because they know that underreporting is why rates are so much higher in the Unites States but it really isn’t.

We also visited a women’s shelter and they would talk to us about how the majority of the women who would come to the shelter were in their 30s, 40s and 50s because they are the women who literally can’t put up with it anymore, so it’s not something that people report right away. One of the ladies in charge of the shelter said, ‘the first thing we have to do is teach women that this isn’t okay, because the majority of them think that it’s apart of marriage and that it is acceptable.’

What was your favorite place?

Definitely Taormina because that is where I felt most connected to the culture, and that was the day I went down Mount Etna. I don’t know, I just liked the culture there; Italian culture is very rich.When I visited a high scho ol, Regina Elena high scho ol, in Catania, I talked to a group of girls who I still keep in contact with that were great. That is where I felt like I really learned the most about the culture. I asked them a lot of questions like what do you want to be when you grow up, what do you want to do?

These girls know up to like five languages, and are interested in cultures, and I asked them, what do you want to do, and they responded, ‘a teacher,’ and I asked, but why, there’s nothing wrong with being a teacher but if you’re interested in learning five languages and exploring different cultures then why not go into international relations and foreign policy, and they were like ‘what’s that?’ But these girls would ask me questions and I would send them all these career options and most of them, when you ask them what do you want to do after high scho ol, they’re like ‘I don’t know.’ College isn’t an option for them, it’s not like something that you do after high scho ol, it’s something that you might do, but you don’t have to because people in Sicily are po or so they end up just working and making a living; education is not a priority.

What was one thing that surprised you during your trip to Italy?

Something that was interesting is that nobody in that class had seen the movie “The Godfather” and the reason why that was shocking was because they complain about how foreigners always stereotype Sicilians of dealing with the mafia and they were like ‘we deal with the mafia and it’s a fear of ours, and they don’t dress up in fancy clothes and fancy cars. They stand outside of scho ols, they stand outside of little shops and they are famous or whatever.’ But when you go to the stores, they have all these Al Pacino shirts and Godfather posters and they've never even seen the movie. One girl said, ‘I hated the fact that when I visited Turkey or a different country they would all call me mafia girl when they found out where I was from.’

I didn't realize how much the role of the woman is in Italian culture. We see it in movies and Italian culture here, but I didn't realize it. It wasn’t very flamboyant, it was so subtle and casual like ‘I might just be a teacher, I don’t know if I even want to go to scho ol.’

What was the most important thing you learned from the trip?

To be honest, I wouldn't say what I learned on the trip the most had to do with sexual and domestic violence, it was mostly about myself. I went and walked miles and miles and miles all over Italy carrying a 10-pound tripod camera that I almost got deported for having at the Vatican. I almost got arrested because I was filming interviews; they deleted everything on my camera. I learned how to stand up for myself and grow thick skin. I guess just understanding people and learning how to communicate with people who aren’t similar to your culture. It’s important to not be afraid.

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Another holy month of Ramadan in the midst of the summer brings about its own challenges. While fasting may have some favorable physiological health benefits on your brain and cardiovascular system, what you eat and drink in the dark hours will determine whether you can reap those or not. Follow these five guidelines for a healthy Ramadan experience!

1. Hydrate with water, not juice

Prolonged dehydration can be a concern since studies show that we don't always compensate for the non-drinking hours. Water should be your drink of choice. The prophet (PBUH) used to drink water to break his fast. Limit sugar-packed fiber-devoid juices to one 8-ounce glass a day. Soups and juicy fruits also count towards your fluids. To find out how many fluid ounces to aim for each day, divide your weight (in pounds) by two. For example, if you weigh 140 lbs, you need 70 ounces a day, or almost nine cups (1 cup = 8 ounces). Spread them throughout the night: a cup of water and bowl of soup at Iftar, at least a 20-ounce water bottle during Taraweeh, two cups before bedtime, and two more cups at suhur (or pre-dawn breakfast).

2. Eat a high protein, high-fiber, moderate-fat, low sugar suhur

Sugars and simple carbohydrates are absorbed in less than an hour. That means you'll be hungry quickly after a sugar-laden cereal or pastry at suhur. Protein, fat and fiber sit longer in your stomach, stretching the meal for 4 to 5 hours. Protein powders can be helpful, but look for a product without artificial sweeteners and colorings. The ideal suhur meal is made of protein (eggs, cheese, Greek yogurt, beans, meat, chicken, fish, nuts, quinoa), healthy fats (avocado, nuts, eggs, olive oil), and fiber-rich foods (fruit, beans, lentils, nuts, seeds, whole grains.) One of my favorite satiety-promoting foods is chia. These seeds soak up fluid and expand in you stomach, keeping you full for longer. Add two tablespoons of chia seeds to oatmeal, Greek yogurt or in smoothies.(Recipe: http://www.nourition.com/2012/05/03/mushroom-and-zucchini-frittatas/)

3. Choose nutrient-rich foods

Five Tips for RamadanHEALTH

By: Nour Zibdeh, Photo Courtesty: Nour Zibdeh and Nourtition


Five Tips for Ramadan When you only have a short window of hours to eat, every bite counts. Choose nutrient-rich foods: those high in vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, lean protein, essential fats, and fiber. Avoid empty calories from fried-foods, sugar-drenched desserts and too many pastries. Dessert every single night doesn't have to be a ritual. Small healthier choices add up. Use some oils and fats in cooking, but avoid deep fat frying. Make broth, not cream-based, soups. Eat a salad at iftar. Fill half your plate with non-starchy vegetables. Choose lean meat and chicken. Eat fatty fish. Limit juice to a cup a day. Opt for fruits and nuts or Greek yogurt for a bedtime snack.

4. Choose fiber-rich foods

Constipation is common when we under-eat or go without food for long hours because there isn't enough food to create a fecal bulk. To keep things moving, choose fiber-rich foods like lentils, beans, apples, oranges, pears, berries, figs, prunes, nuts, seeds, oats and whole grains.

Drink enough water because fiber without fluids worsens constipation. If you don't consume these foods on a regular basis, start slow. My favorite natural constipation remedy is fiber-rich chia seed gel. Combine 1/3 of a cup chia seeds with two cups of water in a jar. Cover, shake, and let it sit for at least 10 minutes. Start with a tablespoon a day and work your way up to four. Store leftover gel in your fridge for four to five days.

5. Manage portions, don't gain weight

While going without food for 15 hours seems to set the stage for weight loss, studies on fasting Muslims show otherwise. We don't always lose weight. In fact, some of us put on few pounds. We move less and exercise less. We over-eat at iftar. We think we need dessert every night. We mindlessly eat at social gatherings. We drink too much juice. We eat too many dates (1 medjoul date has 70 calories). We overeat rice and bread. We serve too many fried pastries. And so on.

Each person is different. Draw from your own past Ramadan experiences and find out what really makes you gain weight. Come up with a plan to make this year different.

I'm out of breath when I reach for my teammate's hand as she helps me over yet another muddy hill. I look down at my newly-

bought workout leggings, shoes and long sleeve top, all of which are completely caked with fresh and heavy mud -- well, there go my clothes. I'm sure I have mud all over my face and in my ears too, but I don't care because right now my focus is only on survival. The sun is shining down on my head, but the wind slashes across my soaked body and I feel back spasms coming on. It's freezing cold but I'm one of the lucky few whose legs didn't cramp up, which I attribute to my new, special trail-running shoes. Those shoes saved my life! As I try to catch up with my teammates, I remember when my brother-in-law first asked me to join the race. It was three months earlier, and I recall him telling me how fun the Tough Mudder is. He competed in his first one the year before and really had a blast. Well, I'm an adventurous type and decided why not? Without really doing much research, I went online, signed up and got busy thinking about the whole list of other things I had to do in my life. It was three months away and my brother-in-law reassured me that if I could run three miles straight then I'd be fine. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I wasin good shape and always strive to exercise at least four or

five times a week. My favorite workouts are crossfit, insanity and powerlifting, so I thought that it wouldn't be too bad, but boy was I wrong. Just one month before the race, I decided to start watching past Tough Mudder videos. I was appalled. I saw swarms of people bloodied, bruised and soaked. Military-looking men and women crawled through mud in completely dark tunnels and ran through live electrical wires. I saw a plank jump into murky water and a lot more obstacles that brought fear and apprehension. What was I getting myself into? The Tough Mudder is a 12-mile long obstacle course that bills itself the "Toughest Event On the Planet." Each of the events around the world is designed differently and the map of the race isn't shown until a week beforehand. An estimated 750,000 people have participated in Tough Mudder courses since 2010 and there are over 50 more Tough Mudder events planned throughout the United States, Australia, Japan, South Africa and Europe this year alone. The Tough Mudder that I participated in this year was the Mid-Atlantic Spring in West Virginia. The terrain was mainly steep uphills and downhills, but also included a forest and large fields. I mentioned my shoes saved me because the bottom cleats grabbed the mud, providing me much needed traction and helping me avoid slipping down the hills. I saw

people wearing Vibrams or regular sneakers having a very difficult time. Some of the obstacles we faced were vicious -- having to jump into freezing water when you are already cold and tired from the mud and running. Others really weren't so bad. Moreover, you always have the option to skip an obstacle by running around it. For example, one obstacle required climbing a rope net over ice cold water. After seeing several people falling and getting hurt, our team decided to skip that obstacle and move on to the next one. I read so much on what to wear that I appreciated my thoroughness because it really helped me get through the race. I wore a long sleeve Underarmour shirt on top of a long tennis sports tank top and long leggings (all dryfit). I also wore my team shirt over everything. I put on half-finger weightlifting gloves, which protected my hands from splinters and cuts. My socks were high quality wool construction, designed for long, wet and muddy runs. Those socks were destroyed after the race and I disposed of them, grateful for the service they provided. Then of course there are the shoes I keep talking about -- they are Salomon Woman's Speedcross 3 trail running shoes. After the race, I just ran them through the washing machine and air dried them, preparing them for more races. I don't wear hijab, although it would have been great with the wind, but

‘We Shall Overcome’ the Tough MudderBy: Alexandra Khouri, Photo Courtesty: Alexandra Khouri

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‘We Shall Overcome’ the Tough Mudder


if you do wear hijab, and plan on doing the race, make sure it is tight-fitted and meant for water. The Tough Mudder is really a team sport. We needed the men to carry us over 10-foot walls and lift us over muddy terrain. If you plan on doing this with only women you would have to avoid a few obstacles which, to be honest, require the strength of men. In my team, the women all joined forces

to carry a large log tree over our shoulders and walked around a field. We kept e n c o u r a g i n g eachother to move forward and keep pushing. At our event, there were 22 obstacles to complete and 12 miles to go through. My team took 4 hours and 35 minutes to complete the course, which ended with a wonderful electric shock a r r a y - - w h i c h hurt! This race is not for the faint of heart. Although I trained just one month before, many people trained six months to

a year in advance. Preparing, I exercised six times a week, mixing weight lifting, high intensity interval training and other cardio exercises, as well as long runs up to four miles. The event says its courses are designed with safety experts and that emergency personnel are present. Unfortunately, in the West Virginia race that I participated in, a 28-year-old man, Avishek Sengupta, from

Maryland drowned when he jumped from a plank into a pool of muddy water (one of the obstacles). His death was ruled an accident. Also, 20 participants were treated at local hospitals, including two people with heart attacks and several with hypothermia, head injuries and orthopedic injuries. I don't think I will ever do this race again, but I definitely can check it off my bucket list. Alhamdulah, the only injuries I experienced were bruising all over the body and cuts in my lower leg. I also had a high fever for got sick afterwards. If you are still interested in doing obstacle courses, there are races such as the Warrior Dash or Spartan Race that may be slightly easier than the Tough Mudder because the distances are much shorter (about three miles total versus 12). However, all obstacles require strength and good cardio training. All in all, I was glad I participated with a wonderful team and faced something I never thought I could do. I almost backed out from going over the 10-foot wall, but I did it and luckily survived the plank. After doing this race, I think I'm going to just stick with fun races, such as a Disney marathon, Hot Chocolate race or maybe even the Krispy Creme Challenge (all actual races). Through this experience, I learned a lot about myself and also learned that we are all much tougher than we think!

FITNESS

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As a Muslim woman living in America, I have always been focused on health and fitness as an integrated part of my life. As the above quoted hadith mentions

"your body has a right over you," I believe taking care of our bodies is a part of the balance and moderation of Islam. Because I am a healthcare professional and hospital employee, I have studied and seen first hand the effects of good as well as poor physical fitness. Additionally, as a mother of three young children, 7, 5 and 3, I appreciate the stress release physical exercise and fitness provide. Through my struggles to fulfill my roles as a Muslim woman, daughter, sister, wife, mother, Occupational Therapist and friend, it became evident to me that taking care of my body through physical exercise was an outlet for coping with and fulfilling all of my roles. Throughout my high school and college years, I began to develop a realization for the importance of fitness in my life. I knew that

working out gave me energy and helped me maintain a healthy weight and body. Part of what led me to choose a career in the healthcare field was the fact that I was so interested in how the human body functioned. My Anatomy and Physiology courses helped further my understanding of the human body function and the importance of caring for each system in the body. Throughout my hospital clinicals and rotations, I witnessed first hand that unhealthy choices led to heart disease, respiratory diseases and obesity. Because Islam preaches moderation and balance in all things, I believe that caring for our body through physical fitness and a well-balanced diet is essential. However, what really pushed me past my comfort zone in regards to physical fitness and exercise was having children of my own. In a five-year period, I was blessed with three beautiful and healthy children, Alhamdulillah. Needless to say, my body went through many transformations with carrying and nursing each child. Between each pregnancy,

MY QUEST FOR A 5K

Allah's Messenger said, "O `Abdullah! Have I not been formed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?" I said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger!" He said, "Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you. (Sahih Al-

Bukhari Volume 7, Hadith 127)

FITNESS

By: Huda Ayoubi, Photo Courtesty: Huda Ayoubi

I struggled to lose weight tried different diets each time. Soon after, I realized the only thing that brought on long lasting weight loss was eating a balanced diet and adding physical exercise into my daily routine. After my youngest daughter had her first birthday, I realized I needed to be a role model for the sake of my daughters. I wanted them to know that a Muslim woman can be involved in sports and physical fitness. I did not want them to look at me and think that the hijab would ever limit them from anything. This was the moment when I decided I needed to do something outside of my comfort zone. I decided I wanted to compete in a 5K race.

Now for many people, running this distance comes naturally and is an easily attainable goal. However this was a big challenge for me. Although I had been exercising at a gym for the past four years, I never considered myself a runner. The last memory of running I had was during my freshman year in high school, when I struggled to complete a mile in time to get the "A." By signing up for and training for this race, I knew I would not only be pushing myself physically to do something I had not accomplished before, but also pushing myself mentally. Using my children as my main motivation, I pushed myself to begin the training. I started by setting out to run one mile without

I realized I needed to be a role model for the sake of my daughters. I wanted them to know that a Muslim woman can be involved in sports and physical fitness. I did not want them to look at me and think that the hijab would ever limit them from anything.

“

”

stopping. Unfortunately, I began to doubt if I could finish the race without stopping or walking. As a result, I thought of the different words and lessons I teach my children: nothing worth achieving comes easily and you must keep trying until you succeed. Alhamdulillah, my second try was a success; I was able to run the 5K without stopping! I was very excited to officially start my training. The morning of my first race I was nervous but confident enough to do my personal best. I wanted to finish this race to prove to myself I had the strength, both physical and mental, to accomplish this. When it came time to cross the finish line, I felt a great sense of

accomplishment and pride, and I was glad to share the experience with my children and family. This first race gave me the jump-start I needed to integrate exercise into my daily life. I know this is only the start of me running races and being an active participant in physical fitness. Exercise gives me the physical strength and energy to keep me motivated as I fulfill all of my duties, interact in all of my roles. That night, I signed up for my next 5K, just in case I begin to lose motivation.

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FITNESS

Workout of the Season

Jumping Jacks

Plank

Burpees

Run in Place Mountain Climbers

Reverse Lunges

Alternating Side Punches Power Skips

Flutter Kick Squats

Sometime this summer, try to ditch the usual gym equipment -- treadmills,

ellipticals, etc. and dive into a high intensity interval workout that is sure to

make you sweat and burn them calories. Although Ramadan is right around the

corner, you can still stay fit by trying this workout either after taraweeh or before

suhoor. Make sure you stay hydrated throughout, and reward yourself with a healthy post-workout meal with protein.

one minute one minute 30 seconds

one minute 30 seconds one minute

30 seconds one minute one minute

Repeat workout three times with one minute breaks in between

By: Omama Altaleb, Photo Credit: Hadeel Alwani

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FASHION

Valentino, Ready to Wear Spring/Summer 2013 Runwaywww.vogue.com

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Modest R

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Mixed Weddings: I have definitely had my fair share of practice in this specific category. Over the years, I have come to learn less is more (in terms of layering, accessories, etc.). I find that women look most elegant in modest clothing that is clean-cut and put together. Ideally, that would mean a one-piece dress; however, we are all familiar with how difficult that can be! So pairing up a statement skirt with a tucked in top or a fitted blazer works great! With a flowy dress, make sure you accentuate the smallest area right under your chest with a belt or a jacket that cuffs right at that point. A high-rise skirt is always flattering as well. Don't be afraid to get creative. If you find a dress you are in love with, try and find a matching fabric at the fabric store and get a jacket or sleeves to complement the one-piece evening gown.

Dressingfor special occasionsLayali's Fashion solumnist, Somayyah Ghariani, shares her thoughts on incorporating personal

style into modest wear for special occasions.


FASHION

Black-Tie Work Events: I haven't had much personal experience

with this category to be quite frank. Nevertheless, labels can at times be

intimidating or a great guideline, depending on how you look at it. With this look, you

would still want to stick with a dress or skirt ensemble. A crisp white button down with a

high-waisted black skirt is a classy choice.

Semi-Formal: Semi-formal events are great opportunities

to add your personal style to a semi-formal outfit. For example, use bright colors in a

skirt, mix and match a solid blazer and a printed pant, and keep it formal with a

closed-toe shoe.

Business Formal (Job Interview): A suit is your best bet! There are many suits out there that are completely modest, yet very professional. Choose a suit with a wide leg pant, so you can have more freedom with the top part of your outfit. Mixing and matching a blazer with a black pant is also doable. In a job interview, your smile and confidence will be doing most of the work for you!

Photo Courtesty: Somayyah Ghariani

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Eid Outfit PossibilitiesAmerican Eagle jacket,$50

H&M dress,$63

ALDO bracelets,$18

Charlotte Russe sandals,$20

H&M dress, $47

Target sandals,$20


Eid Outfit PossibilitiesFASHION

H&M shirt,$23 H&M pants,

$20

Forever 21 necklace,$6.80

H&M sandals,$23

H&M jeans,$31

Forever 21 scarf,

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FOOD

Roasted Summer Beet Salad: Easy -- 45 minute cook time30 minute prep timeIngredients: 1 bunch of beets (6 medium/large beets)1 hard pear1 cup of crumbled goat cheese1/2 of slivered almonds4 cups of salad greensDressing:1 tblsp Dijon mustard2 tblsp of balsamic vinegar1/4 olive oil SaltPepper

This is a thoughtful, healthy and filling salad for a warm summer day!! Although this recipe is simple it is important to keep in mind the time it takes to roast the beets. At first glance, you may not realize the difference between a fresh and canned beet – but this recipe elevates the fresh beet to an incredible level!

1- Preheat oven to 400. Wrap washed (skin on) beets in aluminum foil, then put them on a cookie sheet. Add to the bottom shelf of the oven. Roast for approximately 45 minutes or until fully cooked and can easily be punctured with a fork. 2- While the beets are roasting, cut the pear into long match boxed pieces (julienned). 3- Make the dressing in a large salad bowl -- first add the Dijon mustard, salt, pepper and vinegar. After these three elements are wisked -- slowly add the olive oil. The dressing should emulsify and come to a thicker consistency. If it is too thick, add vinager. If it is too thin, add more mustard and olive oil. 4- Once the beets are completely roasted, pull them out of the oven. While they are hot, wrap them in a kitchen towel and rub the skin off the beet. This is the easiest way to peel them. Cut each beet into six to eight slices and add beets to your dressing. 5- Allow the beets to marinate in the dressing while cooling in the refrigerator for 15 -20 minutes. In the meantime, toast the almonds in a slight bit of olive oil. Once they have browned, add them to the salad bowl. 6- Add salad greens and cheese to the bowl and mix thoroughly.

Bon appetite!!

Raving Recipe

By: Sosan Azmeh, Photo Courtesty: Omama Altaleb


Three oozing red welts sprang to view on my arms as I spread peanut butter all over a pinecone. Hastily my cousin hurled me onto her shoulder and ran down three flights of stairs. My arms rapidly ripped into an image straight out of a horror film as we flew to the emergency room. I started to cry my eyes out as the horrid creature was starting to grow out of my body. I watched as it speared its claws into my skin over and over

again, until more red bumps came screeching into view. A dauntless doctor began to fight gallantly with the raging monster as he cured the damage done by the vicious creature. He came over to my mom and me after he fought with the creature and explained to us that I had peanut allergies. That terrorizing day in the emergency room was not the last time I would encounter an allergic reaction. One dreary day, at the age of ten, I ate a handful of pistachios. Soon after, I began to feel a tingling sensation in my throat. At first, I ignored the sensations and kept eating on, the next thing I know my entire face started turning into a red balloon. My mom rushed me to the allergy doctor where I was tormented by skin and blood tests. The tests revealed that I had even more food allergies than expected. It's not exactly the greatest news in the world when someone tells you that you're allergic to wheat, dairy, eggs, corn, and beef. How would you feel if you couldn't eat a slice of pizza because it has cheese on it, or wheat in its crust? After my second trip to the emergency room, I started to take my allergies more seriously. I realized that my life was on the line. From that point on, my allergies started to control every aspect of my life. I began to look more closely at the ingredients of the foods I was eating and where the food was actually coming from. As I became more vigilant about my allergies, I avoided social interactions. I began to inform others about my allergies when I attended gatherings. Yet, even after I had eaten the food they had specially prepared for me, I still had allergic reactions. Soon enough, I stopped attending social events altogether because of the questions and stares I received. When I did go out, I just watched how everyone was enjoying all the food I was allergic to. But I soon realized that food was not the only important thing at these social events -- I was missing out on birthdays, weddings, graduations, and celebrations -- because I was insecure about my allergies. Despite that eventful day in that emergency room, my life has changed for the better. My allergies helped me acquire more self-control and the ability to be open to a whole world of possibilities that I never knew existed. The idea of using a duck egg in a recipe or drinking goat's milk would have sounded bizarre to the seven-year-old me in the emergency room. Nevertheless, the older Zaynab has been able to experiment with all types of new ingredients and create mouth-watering creations. As I began to grow slowly, I realized that my allergies could not control me anymore as they had for years. As a result, I follow a strict diet and live a gluten-free lifestyle. Behind the emergency room curtain was a girl slowly coming out of her nutshell.

For following issues, Zaynab Irshad will share gluten-free and allergy-sensitive recipes.

A is for Allergies

By: Zaynab Irshad

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Looking for an adventure and a way to work those arms and legs? In the midst of spring, we begin getting into the exercise mode. However, we often we start strong,

but soon lose motivation How can you maintain a good exercise plan that'll last the season? Here are some suggestions to add some excitement to your normal workout plans.

Biking Biking, also known more professionally as cycling, is an up and coming exercise craze. Not only is cycling good for your heart, but it's also a great way to burn calories. The steady pattern of cycling is relaxing and can instantly rid your mind and body of stress. Find a trail and get on a bike. It is important to stay hydrated during your ride, and always wear a helmet. You'd be surprised how far

ADDING A DOSE OF ADVENTURE

By: Masouna Kochaji, Photo Credit: Masouna Kochaji


ADDING A DOSE OF ADVENTUREEXPLORATION

you can get on a bike. After a few weekends of biking, you'll find yourself with better endurance, less stress and perhaps a few less pounds as well.

Rock Climbing Jump into a harness and head up! Rock climbing is one of the best ways to increase your flexibility and arm strength. Similar to biking, rock climbing is great for heart health, calorie burn and muscle build-up.

In this case, your arms are really working as you pull yourself up the face of a rock. Options vary from indoor or outdoor rock climbing regardless of your skill level. When you push yourself to keep climbing, the reward is at the top, that moment when you get to look down and see how far you've come. Take a class, learn how to climb and you'll be all set to add some adventure to your weekend workout!

The 984 foot Eiffel Tower touches the sky, as the city of love touches your heart.

PARIS, FRANCE:

PHOTOS BY: NOHA HAMID

TRAVEL

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Gruyères is a beautiful city in Switzerland. There is a delicious cheese named after the city. Gruyères looks like you are walking through a historical painting.

TRAVEL

Gruyères is a beautiful city in Switzerland. There is a delicious cheese named after the city. Gruyères looks like you are walking through a historical painting.

TRAVEL

I feel like I have always had a special fascination with it-- where it comes from, what it means, and most importantly, what it's supposed to do for us. Part of it might stem from the idea that my name means "happiness" in Arabic, but it mostly feels like it comes from a deeper place that would have been there regardless of my legal name. Before going to the Tashirat Orphanage in Tepoztlan, Mexico, I had ideas of how I wanted the

world to be, how I believed people should view certain things and be hyper-aware of the environment that they are in and the people they are surrounded by. After years of feeling like I might have been dreaming of an ideal and unrealistic world, part of me thought of giving up on looking for something that I didn't even know existed in the first place. Part of me also thought that even if I gave up looking for it around me, if I held it within myself, it might eventually be enough. Within the first couple hours of being at Tashirat, I realized the blessing of finding everything I was looking for through my desire to give back to the global community and my undying love for children. I found a place where everyone's beliefs and morals were in the same exact place that mine were, regardless of any of the other variables that made us different as human beings. It sounds dramatic, but I immediately felt at home. Not the kind of home you feel when you come back to the place where your mother's embrace is the best medicine or where your bed is always waiting to carry you to your dreams, but the kind of home that your soul spends its entire life searching for. The type of home that inspires you and connects you to the world so deeply that it becomes a home within your soul, a home that you carry internally to every physical and emotional place you will ever go. Upon arriving to Tashirat, many of the staff members and children change their names as a symbolic way of leaving the negative parts of themselves behind. I found so much beauty in the emphasis they placed on names. They can change their name as often as they would and to whatever that individual needs as a representation of who they currently are. At the same time, I realized that regardless of the name that each person currently held, they still carried the same soul that the returning volunteers recognized them by. I wondered what name I would have wanted to go by if I were to stay there for longer than a week and I realized that I wouldn't want to go by anything other than my own name: Farah. Happiness. One of the single most incredible aspects of this trip was meeting and spending time with all of the children. The heartfelt hellos, shy smiles, and excitement that we were greeted with before they had gotten to know any of us was beyond memorable. I can still feel the way they would hold my hand to say hello, hug me when they were excited, and repeat our names over and over again to make sure they had them right. Meeting Diego was one of the biggest blessings I have ever been granted. On the first two days, I tried approaching him multiple times with no luck. He would quickly turn away and carry on with driving his Little Tikes car or walking his bike. On the third day, the volunteers and the children sat down for an origami workshop and he sat aside on the nearby tire swing. I helped three of the other children fold and decorate their new paper dogs while keeping an eye on him. When

People spend their lives

searching for happiness.

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TRAVEL

layaliwebzine.com 57By: Farah Albani, Photo Credit: Farah Albani

I eventually finished making mine, I walked over to him and said "I made this for you." He looked up at me, and for the first time, he didn't turn away. He reached out and took it from me, examining it. I asked him if he liked it and he responded with a bold "si." I asked him if he wanted to come make some more origami with me and, without hesitation, he took my hand. We walked back over to the table and I realized how crowded it was so I asked him if he wanted to sit in my lap and he responded again with a small, bold "si." Everything after that moment was like a dream. I fell so hard for his fierce spirit, his beautiful laugh, and the way he would take my hand and show me whatever it was that he was fascinated by at the moment. I would speak to him in English and Spanish and he would always respond in Spanish. I loved the way he would grin whenever I told him to smile for a picture, the way he remembered me each time we saw each other, and the way he would hold my face when he kissed me on the

cheek. Saying goodbye to him was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever had to do. How do you explain to your soulmate that you won't be seeing him "manana" even though that was what you had told him a few days prior? Blessed with the presence of others, I was able to say goodbye to everyone else to try to make saying goodbye to him easier. The most incredible moment of my entire journey, was seeing Diego walk back towards me with his bike before I left, and in English, hear him say "Thank you, Farah." I experienced that happiness can be found through giving and through the act of being conscious of the world around you; and more importantly, that those things come from within yourself. I have also learned that happiness is supposed to be used to empower us to better the world and everything within it. At Tashirat, both the staff and the orphans live heavily by a principal of self-sufficiency. They give back to the environment what they take from it and find ways to make use of what would normally go to waste in other places. They grow their own cucumbers, tomatoes, and avocados and capture all of their water from the roof of their greenhouse through cisterns which capture water during rainy months and are used through the dry months. All of the leftover food goes to their chickens and their compost provides very nutrient rich humus (pronounced hyoo-muhs) in about two years. Their movement towards complete self-sufficiency goes much further than just sustaining the Earth they live on agriculturally and economically, it extends to the daily

lives of the children and staff. The children are taught to have a sense of self-responsibility and always use what they have around them to be completely self sufficient. They believe that they are responsible for their actions as individuals and as a community. This concept carries through to the idea that we are self-sufficient for our own happiness. We are a part of this Earth and when we are home (for me, Virginia) sometimes it's really difficult to feel that connection deeply enough to inspire us to change our lifestyles. Whether it was through healthy eating, a natural lifestyle or that time we climbed a mountain (no big deal), every aspect of this journey brought me back to the Earth and reminded me that we are all comprised of the universe. In order for me to find my happiness, I had to step outside of everything I knew and start over. By doing this, I came in touch with who I presently

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TRAVEL

was, what I truly wanted in life, and how to get myself there. For me, some of my strongest desires lie in dedicating myself to the betterment of the world and happiness of others. In my opinion, if you decide that you want to be happy, nothing can stand in your way. When you understand that true happiness only comes from within yourself, what you are doing is giving no one the power to take that happiness away from you. What that means is that when someone asks you if you are in love, you have the power to say "yes." You have the power to say that you are in love with the universe. That you are in love with the way the stars sparkle at night to remind us that there can be such bright beauty in the absence of light. That you are in love with children and the beauty in the innocence of their smiles and their laughs. That you are in love with the Earth because of all of the beauty and nourishment that it has provided you with. That you are in love with good company because it reminds you that you are not alone. That you are in love with airports and airplanes, especially at night. That you are in love with the fact that the list of things that you are in love with could go on forever. And most importantly, that you are in love with God because He granted you all of the blessings that surround you and because He blessed you with the ability to appreciate it. To try to explain the deep happiness I feel is close to impossible and to think about the blessing of having found this place on Earth and within me brings me to tears and shakes me from my core. I have never felt so blessed in my life. My trip was more than anything anyone could have ever asked for. I keep coming to a loss for words and then I realize that the perfect one is "alhamdulilah." Alhamdulilah because something so incredibly great could not have come from anyone other than God. Alhamdulilah because the volunteers on this trip were so unique and incredible in their own way. Alhamdulilah because the children at this orphanage were the most beautiful and lovable beings I have ever come across. Alhamdulilah because they were richer and more fulfilled than most of us will ever be. Alhamdulilah because they taught all of us about not being attached to anything other than our spirituality and our desire to constantly better ourselves and the world around us. Tashirat was like a dream. A dream that I was forced to wake up from and a dream that left me wanting more. The only difference between this dream and the ones we experience while we are asleep is that I have the ability to carry this one on and to make it a part of my everyday life. Tashirat was like finally being able to breathe. And there was no better place to become alive. Alhamdulilah.Zakunja.Farah has a GoFundMe page to raise money for the Tashirat Orphanage and for her sponsorship of Diego. This page can be found at http://www.gofundme.com/39rb1w.


Author of "Reclaim your Heart" Yasmin Mogahed, gave a lecture entitled Family Ties on May 4. at ADAMS Center in Sterling, VA. Using the prophetic model as her basis, she presented the following seven steps as a recipe to better family relations.

1. Gentleness- The greatest effort is supposed to be inside the home. It is the best test of character, "the best of you is the best to their families."The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, Allah loves gentleness. Our family cannot be our punching bag. Marriage is character building -- training you to be a better person -- to build you.

2. Affection- "One who does not show mercy to the creation will not receive mercy from Allah." This is the direct relationship that the Prophet (pbuh) has shown us time and time again. "If a man leaves his brother in faith, he should tell him that he loves him." The Prophet himself used to show a great deal of affection to his wives. As a gesture to demonstrate his love for Aisha, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) drank from the same spot as her. Unfortunately, many times, we get our values from culture and not from the Prophet (pbuh).

3. Responsibility of rights- Focus on your responsibility of giving others' their rights. Give your spouse his rights, and he will give you yours'. If everyone is doing their job and giving the rights the other needs, then there will be harmony.

4. Control your anger- We need to get rid of the idea that family is taken for granted, and are just there to take out our anger on. The strong person is the one who can control himself in the fit of anger. The Prophet (pbuh) said that managing anger is a sign of true strength. The advice he gave was "don't get angry." You have to control emotions and not let emotions control you. People will commit murder in anger -- don't be a slave to anger.

5. Helping one another in the home- This is where we start to see culture clashes -- sunnah in the way we act and treat our families -- "this sunnah doesn't work with my culture." The common excuse is, "I'm too busy to help out," but ask yourself, am I busier than the Prophet (pbuh) was? Cooperation. Islam should mold how we live, not our culture. In a study, married couples who cooperated were less likely to get divorced. Have an attitude of cooperation and helping. The Prophet (pbuh) is the most beautiful example -- he used to serve his family first, then when the time for prayer came, he went and prayed at the mosque. His mission was to be a prophet and leader. Therefore, since he helped out, this must be the best definition of how we should too.

6. Dawah begins at home- Sometimes family is neglected. "Save yourselves and your family from the fire" (Surah al-Tahrim, ayah 6). Right after yourself, is your family.

Seven Steps to Better Family Relations

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7. Giving advice- When problems in the family arise, so does the dilemma and issue of giving advice. The mindset and state of heart when giving advice is really important -- oftentimes, it comes out of arrogance. People will most likely reject advice for this reason: the feeling of being judged and looked down upon.

a. If someone is doing something in which there is a valid difference of opinion among scholars, then give no advice (i.e. different ways of praying based on different schools of thought). However, if someone is overtly doing something wrong, then you should have a mentality of concern. First, thank Allah for not being in that situation. Allah has gifted you because He is Al Wahhab, the All-Giver. Never take for granted your worship and righteousness. Recite this duaa: "Allahumma ya Muqalib al qulub, Thabbit qalbbi ala deenik" (O Allah, changer of hearts, change the direction of my heart towards your deen (Islam))." The heart turns. Don't ever feel safe from that sin, it is because of Allah's protection over you that you aren't in that situation.

b. Bring to mind your own faults before you advise. Everybody sins; just the style of sin is different. Make your advice come from humility and not arrogance. The response is different when you say, or your attitude implies, "I'm better than you and that's why I'm advising you." "No one who has a mustard seed of arrogance will enter Jennah," the Prophet (pbuh) said. You have to seek refuge from these diseases. It will be more effective if they sense your sincerity. "Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves" (Surah ar-Ra'ad, ayah 11). Change happens from the inside out. See everything in life with a different lens. Ask yourself: what am I supposed to be changing and learning from this situation? The problem with the ummah today comes from the inside because we are so in love with the dunya (this world). We have to change: we are still dishonest, we run after money. "Hob al dunya wa karahiyat al moot, (love of dunya (the world) and hatred of death)" -- Hadith: (Sahih- Abu Dawoud Book 37, Number 4284).

c. The Prophet said, "Indeed in the body is a lump of flesh, and if it is set right, the whole body is set right (heart)." See every situation in life as a message in a bottle. What am I supposed to be learning and changing? Unwrap the gift -- it's a blessing in disguise. If we have the common goal of reaching Allah (swt), our pathway will be through our relationships with Allah's creation. How do human relationships affect the transaction with Allah? When the accusation that Aisha, the Prophet (pbuh's) wife, committed adultery, Abu Bakr (ra) found out that the person spreading the rumor was a relative. As a result, he stopped the financial support he provided the man. An ayah came down to Abu Bakr shortly after and he decided to increase the financial support of the man. Abu Bakr forgave the man so Allah would forgive Abu Bakr. You should deal with others the way you want Allah to deal with you. Lastly, if you cover up the faults of your fellow brothers and sisters, then Allah will cover up your faults on the Day of Judgment.

Seven Steps to Better Family RelationsRELATIONSHIPS


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LINKED IN

O you who believe, when you are told to make room in the assemblies, then make room; God will give you more room to spread..." (Quran 58:11) Not only is this a Quranic, verse but also how this organization got

its name: "MakeSpace." MakeSpace is a non-profit organization that acts as a multigenerational Muslim community hub for the Washington Metropolitan area. Layali spoke with two of MakeSpace's own to learn what they're all about. "MakeSpace is what my generation has been waiting for. Not only is it a way for American Muslims to be engaged in the society they are a part of, but it's also a means to have a deeper and a very beautiful connection to Allah (SWT)," said Samar Azzaidani, a MakeSpace intern. MakeSpace follows 5 core principles:

Making Space:CommunityTransparency, Relevance, Inclusion, Balance, and Excellence (TRIBE). With these values in mind, the organization aims to be an all-inclusionary, non-judgmental group of young Muslim Americans."MakeSpace always emphasizes how everyone is welcome to any and all of the events it sponsors. Regardless of your age, ethnicity, gender, and/or religion, everyone is welcome," Azzaidani said. MakeSpace is known around the community for its successful programs, especially the bi-weekly halaqas (held for both young men and women.) Reaching up to an estimated 90 young women every other week, the Ladies Halaqa has been known to have an emotional and spiritual impact on those attending. There isn't a dry eye in sight as girls share their stories of personal triumph one by one. "Every meeting, we reinforce the idea that

MakeSpace creates a judgment free zone, this goes back to the key pillars of our organization...There is no room for judgment when there is only love and understanding between us," said Sarah Olibah, head of the education department at MakeSpace. Along with its huge emphasis on inclusion, MakeSpace aims to create a more tight-knit community by joining together people of different backgrounds. "Barriers have formed between us due to different cultures and race when these are things

that should be celebrated and shared instead of factors that separate us." Olibah said, "MakeSpace works to break down these barriers." Although MakeSpace is only a few months old, its impact will last generations as its programs begin to grow along with the community itself. From yoga to game nights to giving back to the community, MakeSpace makes space for everyone and anyone to be a part of the community at large all while gaining a stronger bond with Allah (SWT).


COMMUNITY

Making Space:Community

By: Rawan Elbaba, Photo Courtesty: Makespace

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LINKED IN

Recently, I was reflecting on the Prophet (pbuh)'s time, and how when a single woman complained of harassment from halfway across the world, entire armies

were sent to fight for her. This made me ask myself what my purpose in life is. It's been a grueling past two years in Syria. Unfortunately, it seems as though there is no end in sight to this nightmare. These people are in Syria because that was destined to them. They were destined to sacrifice their lives for the sake of dignity and freedom. So I wonder why is it that I am destined to be here? If anything, it is definitely not to sit around and do nothing. We will undoubtedly be asked if we

stood by them and took part in their struggle on the Day of Judgment. Have we done enough to fulfill that duty? The harrowing accounts coming out of the country has left the entire world in a state of utter shock, yet not much has been done about it beyond rhetorical action. There is a huge refugee crisis now in Syria. Over four million people had to flee their homes or have been chased from their homes. According to a recent interview with C.J. Chivers, the New York Times foreign correspondent living in Syria for most of the past year, he described the situation as such, "We're not talking about villages that are getting shelled hour upon hour upon hour, day

Contemplating Crisis in Syria


POLITICSupon day for weeks. What you're talking about is three shells a day, eight shells a day, a few days off, a dozen shells the next day, five shells the day after that. One shell may land and a few minutes will pass and another shell may land right beside it, so that the people who had rushed to the first crater to help the wounded, or just out of curiosity, would then be struck by the shrapnel or the blast wave from the second shell." In February, the United Nations released that nearly 70,000 people had been killed in Syria, and the number continues to grow. Every day, there are at least a hundred new people killed.

We must continue to do as much as we can to help the cause, and ensure

that our Syrian brothers’ and sisters’ dream of freedom will come to fruition.

“”

Recently in the Baniyas massacre, bodies were found burned and mutilated, and according to activists in the area, at least 77 people -- 20 from the same family -- were killed, and a day after, 72 died in the town of al-Bayda. These are just two of the many massacres that are occurring on a daily basis. The future of Syria still remains uncertain. Despite the fact that there has been "strong evidence," that the Syrian regime has been using chemical weapons, thus proving Obama's "red line" had been crossed, the United States is still treading with caution. The United States and Russia announced that they will be sponsoring a conference between the Syrian regime and the rebels. Although it is not clear yet whether either group will consent to substantive talks, the National Coalition of Syrian Revolutionary and Opposition Forces released a statement that it welcomed "all

international efforts calling for a political solution, which will achieve the aspirations of the Syrian people for a democratic state that begins with the removal of the Assad regime." It is unclear what will come out of these talks, but we must keep the hope alive. We must continue to do as much as we can to help the cause, and ensure that our Syrian brothers' and sisters' dream of freedom will come to fruition. The Syrian spring can be symbolized by the story of a 13-year-old boy, Hamza Al-Khateeb, from the restive city of Daraa. After he and his friends were found protesting, they were arrested by the regime, then tortured, killed

and mutilated. One thing most people don't know is that although Hamza was a child, he was extremely intuitive. His family told stories of how he would often ask them to give to those less fortunate. Once he asked his parents to give 100 liras (two dollars) to a man, but his parents said that was too much. Hamza said, "I have a bed and food while that guy has nothing." May we all one day see the world through the eyes of our young martyr. I hope inshaAllah we can all fulfill the duty we owe to those that are oppressed. Hamza along with the other 70,000 plus victims did not die in vain and inshaAllah their dream of freedom, peace and prosperity will become a reality in the very near future.

By: Lena Albibi, Photo Credit: Masouna Kochaji

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As I walk into my local bookstore, I head straight for the Psychology section, as per usual, and completely bypass the young adult section. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a book with bold typography and a solid blue background. Intrigued, I flip it open and

begin to read the summary. One word stands out: "cancer." I wanted to disregard the book because I thought it was another one of those depressing cancer books that preach about making the most of life. However, I looked up some reviews, and was shocked by the incredibly high ratings. So I thought, "t must be worth something," and I bought it. "The Fault in Our Stars" is centered on two teenagers going through typical teenage experiences, yet they are anything but 'typical.' Hazel Grace, a 16-year-old girl diagnosed with terminal cancer since 13, is the main character. After a miraculous trial drug shrunk her tumors, Hazel was able to carry on living her teenage life, with and oxygen tank she carries everywhere. Due to her circumstance, she is forced to go to a Cancer Kids Support Group every week, and while she usually despises it, one week, Isaac, a regular attendee, brings with him his

Format: Hardcover, Print. List price: $17.99

very sarcastic, attractive friend, Augustus Waters. As you may have guessed, Augustus and Hazel fall in love. Ok, so two cancer kids meet, fall in love, and have this epic Romeo and Juliet-like tragic romance, right? Exactly! While that sounds like the plot of, let's see... only about 100 million other books, I promise it's not. The real depth and uniqueness of the story doesn't come from the plot at all, (although, let's be honest here, there's a reason that story line has been used so many times... we're all suckers for a good love story) but from the characters. While the cancer is not the dominating theme of the story, it has definitely left a mark on the characters and their personalities. These are not your typical moody, impulsive and hormonal teenagers, nor are they the same brave and courageous heroes we see time and time again in cancer books. Hazel and Augustus are just two people who have grown wise beyond their years, not because they are special, but simply because that's a side effect of cancer. Wisdom isn't the ideal weapon to wield against the struggles of love, mortality and sobering reality, but it's what they've got, and it -- coupled with their wit and charm -- makes this a beautiful account of the lives of two beautiful people.

NOT JUST ABOUT

CANCER

By: Noor Alwani, Photo by: Omama Altaleb.


REVIEWS

BOOK OVERVIEW In "Lean In," Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook's COO and the world's sixth most powerful woman in 2013 (according to Forbes: http://www.forbes.com/power-women/list/), successfully writes about women in leadership, and sheds light on how the balance between work and family can be achieved. Sheryl encourages women to be willing to risk and seek new challenges, find work that they love, and remain passionately engaged at the highest level of whatever they desire to be, and do throughout their lives. In "Lean In," Sheryl addresses the ambiguity surrounding career-driven women,

Format: Hardcover, Print. $14-17

A MESSAGE FOR WOMEN

by narrating personal experiences, experiences of other leading women, lessons on self-reliance and leadership, and advice based on research and data. As a leader, Sheryl leaves the reader with a couple of powerful notes to dwell upon, which include "lean in always," "sit at the table," "seek and speak the truth," "make your partner a real partner," and "don't leave before you leave." To understand the depth of these pointers and the complete meaning behind them, I encourage you to read "Lean In." Her message to women, as well as men -- and society as a whole -- is overwhelmingly positive.

HASNIA SAYS Reading this gem has definitely inspired and motivated me. The notes mentioned in this book and the food for thought aligns with my morals significantly. In the books I have read, I believe that a lady can be career-driven, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a leader, a student, anything and everything, so long as she knows how to maintain a balance and is confident and aware of how she is making a difference in this world. I believe that a lady should always believe in herself, and she shouldn't take a "no" very lightly. She should work hard and achieve her goals by aiming for the the sky. But then again, the sky is not really the limit. A woman can do whatever she sets her mind to, but it is up to her to figure out. Sheryl Sandberg encourages women to achieve their potential and look beyond the gender-biased standards society intentionally or unintentionally sets upon us. Reading "Lean In," provided me with a different perspective as I embark on the work-life journey after college, God Willing. This book is a golden resource that I would recommend for every lady and man to read. "Lean In" is a four star -- a must-read.

By: Hasnia Bekkadja, Photo Courtesy: Hasnia Bekkadja.

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Meet Layali’s own Beauty columnist: Nadia Sheikh -- a 20-year-old American Muslim girl, beauty addict, fashion lover and makeup guru. For this issue, Nadia provides a step-by-step tutorial for a black and silver makeup look which is perfect for any special occasion!

Step-by-step makeup look

The makeup products you will need to complete this lo ok are:1. Primer Potion (Urban Decay)2. The Rocket Mascara (Maybelline)3. Naked Palette (Urban Decay)4. Black kohl/eye pencil5. Revlon Fantasy Lengths (optional)6. Liquid eyeliner (elf) 7. Eyeshadow brush8. Any pigmented silver eyeshadow9. Blending brush (ULTA)10. Colored contacts (optional)You can purchase these products from ULTA, Target and at selected drugstores.

VirginCreepGunmetal


Step-by-step makeup look TUTORIALS

Step 1 – Start your eye makeup after you have applied your concealer and foundation.

Step 2 - After applying your concealer/foundation, apply a generous amount of the primer potion on your lids.

Step 3 – Apply any pigmented silver eye shadow on the lids, however avoid the crease area.

Step 4 – From the Naked Palette, apply “gunmetal” to the crease of the eyes and BLEND. In addition, apply it to the bottom lash line and blend.

Step 5 – Apply your black eye pencil to the top and bottom waterlines of your eyes.

Step 6 – Fill in your brows with a brow shadow or a brow pencil for a more defined lo ok.

Step 7 – With a thin blending brush, apply the color “creep” in the outer corner crease area carefully.

Step 8 – Highlight your brow bone with the color “virgin.”

Step 9 – Apply your liquid eyeliner by starting a thin line from the inner corner of the eye, making it slightly thicker and winged out (Be careful with this step!).

Step 10 – Apply one coat of mascara to the top and bottom lashes.

Step 11 – Apply your false lashes and wait for it to dry. Then apply one more coat of mascara. Pop in some colored eye contacts for a more dramatic lo ok if you like.

And you’re done!

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Layali Webzine Vol.1 Issue One

Documents

layali webzine

young muslim women

lives of muslim women

young women

muslim american ladies

overall muslim community

noor tagouri

newfound passions