Interpersonal Relationships 30 06 08

8/14/2019 Interpersonal Relationships 30 06 08

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Interpersonal RelationshipsInterpersonal RelationshipsIncreasing Interpersonal Success ThroughIncreasing Interpersonal Success Through

Self-AwarenessSelf-Awareness


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NO INFLUENCE

INFLUENCE

CONTROL

Controlling those things we can control

Circle of Influence


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Workshop Contracting

+100Role-plays / Activities

+100Fair Play

-10Below the Belt Remarks+25Value Addition (SharingRelevant Experience or anInsight)

Depends on theSeverit

y

HTTT (Hostility Towardsthe Trainer)

+50Team Presentations

-10Mobile Ringing+10A Good Joke

-10Late Coming for AnySession - For TeamLeader Per Minute

+10Correct Answer

-5Late Coming for AnySession - Per TeamMember Per Minute

+10A Good & Relevant Question

PointsNorm For LosingPoints

Points

Norm For EarningPoints


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Overview

Understand of the nature of relationships.

Understand how strong interpersonal skills willmagnify your personal power

Explore your interpersonal behaviors

Analyze various communication styles andrecognizing your own

Provide strategies for effectively interactingwith communication styles different from yours


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Overview

Build skills in conflict prevention andmanagement

Consider behavioural standards that guide

relationships


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Ms. Desai Ms. Patel and Ms. Desai are Science teachers

in a High School. Ms. Patel would leave most ofthe departmental duties for Ms Desai to

perform. Ms. Patel usually criticize herteaching style and her ideas in thedepartmental meetings.

Ms. Desai & Ms. Patel have been in charge ofthe entry for the National Science Fair for the

past 3 years. Ms Desai receives no help fromMs. Patel and very limited help from the otherscience teachers.


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Ms. Desai When the school won the award last year for

most outstanding amateur alternative heatingsource, Ms. Patel, took all the accolades

without acknowledging Ms Desai hard work. Ms. Patel is now head of the Science

Department and she is now even more criticaland insulting.

Ms Desai felt slighted as she is the one who

has done most of the work in the Departmentfor the past 5 years. Ms Desai should


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Dealing with interpersonal relationships is acomplex subject

The interpersonal relationships betweenstudents and teachers, teachers and otherteachers, teachers and administrators, schoolstaff personnel, parents, and communitymembers are vital for creating a positivesuccessful learning environment for allstudents.


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No matter how hard you work or how

many brilliant ideas you may have, ifyou cant connect with the people whowork around you, your professional lifewill suffer.


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Team work iscrucial!


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TEAM Research indicates skills essential for

effective teamwork are:

communicating and relating effectively, empathy and respect for the feelings &

views of others, accurate self-evaluation of performance

& relationships. conflict management using active

listening skills and empathy.


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What is Interpersonal

Relationship (IR)?


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Interpersonal

Relationships

social associations

connections

affiliations

between two or more people


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Interpersonal Relationships vary indiffering levels of intimacy and

sharing, implying the discovery orestablishment of common ground,and may be centered around

something(s) shared in common.


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We define types of interpersonalrelationships in terms of relational

contexts of interaction and thetypes of expectations thatcommunicators have of one

another to participate in positive,caring, and respectfulrelationships.


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Six success elements in

Relationships It takes a combination of

2. Self-awareness,

3. Self confidence,

4. Positive personal impact,

5. Outstanding performance,

6. Communication skills and7. Interpersonal competence

to succeed in your career and life.


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Self-awareness Becoming self-aware is the first step to

improving our interpersonal effectiveness. Most of our behaviours are natural for us. We aren't aware of the impact these

behaviours have on others. That leaves us with"blind spots" that others don't want tomention to us because they don't want to hurt

our feelings, they are afraid of a reaction fromus, or they just don't care. Through self-awareness we learn what impact

our behaviours - both positive and negative -have on others. That knowledge helps us

become more effective in our interactions withothers.


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Once we become self-aware we canexamine and change behaviours thatneed changing. The option is our own.So are the consequences. When wechoose to seek ways to modify ourundesirable behaviours we begin theprocess of self-regulation. This is a

conscious process through which wemay ask for input from our family,trusted coworkers or friends, or aprofessional therapist.


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Self-Confidence

SELF-CONFIDENCE:

Sureness aboutones self-worthand capabilities


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Positive Personal Impact Do you know how other peoples see you?

When you leave a meeting or end aconversation, what impression do you leave

behind? What picture do other people have ofyou? How do you think they perceive you?

We impact on others through our opinions, theamount we contribute, the sound of our voice,the effect of our silence, the expressions we

use. Personal impact is about other things apart

from your looks of course. Improving yourposture, knowing how to shake hands

properly, having good manners, not fidgetingand controlling your nerves in meetings,


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Outstanding performance What ever

you do it to

the best ofyour ability.

DO it withthy MIGHT!(MICOs

Motto)


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Communication skills Interpersonal communication can mean

the ability to relate to people in writtenas well as verbal communication. Thistype of communication can occur inboth a one-on-one and a group setting.

This also means being able to handledifferent people in different situations,

and making people feel at ease.


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Communication skills active listening,

giving and receiving criticism,

dealing with different personalitytypes, and

nonverbal communication.


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3-Factor Model of

interpersonal competence Interpersonally competent people:

2. are self aware. They use this

awareness to better understand othersand to adapt their behaviouraccordingly.

3. build and nurture strong, lasting,mutually beneficial relationships.

4. resolve conflict in a positive manner.(Bilanich)


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What are Interpersonal

Skills? A set of behaviours which allow you to

communicate effectively &

unambiguously in a face-to- face setting

They can also be thought of asbehaviours which assist progresstowards achieving an objective


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Interpersonal relationship skillshelp us to relate in positive ways with

our family members, colleagues andothers.

This may mean being able to make andkeep friendly relationships as well as

being able to end relationshipsconstructively


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Six interpersonal skills There are just six interpersonal skills

which form a process that is applicableto all situations:

2. Analyzing the situation

3. Establishing a realistic objective

4. Selecting appropriate ways of

behaving5. Controlling your behaviour

6. Shaping other people's behaviour

7. Monitoring our own and others'behaviour


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Applicability of

Interpersonal Skills Analyzing the situation helps us to set realistic

objectives

Establishing objectives, in turn, provides thecontext in which to make choices about howbest to behave

By being conscious of our own behaviour in

working towards the achievement of objectiveswe are more likely to influence other peoplesbehaviour

Constant monitoring will provide the feedback

we need to make situation-dependentad ustments


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Good interpersonal skills

Interpersonal competence


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Five dimensions of

interpersonal competence 1. Initiating relationships.

2. Self-disclosure.

3. Providing emotional support.4. Asserting displeasure with others'actions.*5. Managing interpersonal conflicts.*


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Barriers to Communication

Physical or environmental barrier

Language barrier

Personal or socio psychologicalbarrier


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Tactful ConversationsT = Think before you speak

A = Apologize quickly when you

blunder

C = Converse, dont compete

T = Time your comments

F = Focus on behavior notpersonality

U = Uncover hidden feelings


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Interpersonal

Communications Most people want to be understood and

accepted more than anything else in theworld.

Knowing this is the first step toward goodcommunication. Good communication has twobasic components:

1. You listen to and acknowledge other people'sthoughts and feelings: Rather than showingthat you only care about broadcasting yourfeelings and insisting that others agree withyou, you encourage others to express whatthey are thinking and feeling. You listen andtry to understand.


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Interpersonal

Communications2. You express your own thoughts and feelings

openly and directly: If you only listen to whatother people are thinking or feeling and youdon't express your own thoughts or feelings,you end up feeling shortchanged or "dumpedon."


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Communication Styles There are four styles of communication:

passive aggressive passive-aggressive assertive

Passive communication involves the inability orunwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. Passivepeople will do something they don't want to do or makeup an excuse rather than say how they feel.

The aggressive style of communication involves

overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive peopletry to get their way through bullying, intimidating oreven physical violence. They do not or will not considerthe rights of others.


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Passive-aggressive is a combination ofthe first two styles - they avoidconfrontations (passive), but will bemanipulative to get what they want(aggressive). Passive-aggressive peoplewill sometimes use facial expressionsthat don't match how they feel, i.e.

smiling when angry. Assertive behaviour involves standing

up for oneself. Assertive people will saywhat they think and stand up for their

beliefs without hurting others.


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Assertiveness vs

Aggressiveness Assertiveness, or confrontation, means

taking the initiative or first steps to dealwith a problem in a constructive, self-protective manner. Assertivenessattacks the problem, not the person.

Aggressiveness attacks the otherperson rather than the problem. It is adestructive desire to dominate anotherperson or to force a position orviewpoint on another person; it startsfights or quarrels.


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Coping with some

communication differences Aggressive Communicator: Get to the

point right away. Speak directly andclearly. Since aggressive types can bebrutally honest and sometimesinconsiderate, it is important to takewhat they say with a grain of salt.Usually their criticism and

confrontational matter isn't meant to betaken personally.


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Passive-Aggressive Communicator: Justas passive-aggressive communicatorsare a combination of two styles, anapproach to them must be acombination as well. Recognize thattalking to them might be frustrating likewith the passive communicator (since

they avoid conflict), but it also importantto not take anything they say or dopersonally (like with the aggressivetypes), because it may conflict with what

they say.


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Many causes of conflict arise due tomiscommunication.

Once you understand your owncommunication style pitfalls, you cancorrect them and communicate more

effectively.

Remember Aggression breedsAggression!


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What is Conflict? Conflict occurs in situations in which

there is opposition. Opposition occurswhen a solution cannot be found in adisagreement.

Conflict is a disagreement throughwhich the parties involved perceive athreat to their needs, well-being,interests or concerns.

Perceive a threat can be physical,emotional, power, status, intellectual,etc.


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Conflict Resolution Conflict resolution involves identifying

areas of agreement and areas of

compromise so that a solution to thedisagreement or conflict occurs.


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How do Ihandle/prevent/redu

ce conflicts?


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There are five methods to

handle conflict: Running away

Being obliging to the other party

Defeating the other party

Winning a little/ losing a little

Co-operating


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Resolving conflict is an art

of communication

Use interpersonal

communication skills


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Interpersonal Communication

skills I-statements help you express the way you

feel and what you want with great clarity. Sometimes people use "you" statements, such

as "You never collect the registers on time andthen we have to leave school late in theevenings waiting on you!" This type ofstatement can make others feel angry anddefensive immediately. When you use I-statements, such as, "I really need to get the

registers before 1:00pm so that I can completethe attendance sheet so that I can leaveschool at dismissal time." you express your theconcern in terms of you.


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skills A respectful tone of voice conveys that you

are taking others seriously and that you also

expect to be taken seriously. In addition,people with good communication skills areassertive without being aggressive ormanipulative.


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skills Eye contact is vital for good communication.

For example, how would you feel if the personyou were talking to kept looking around thecorridor or out the window?

Appropriate body language encouragesconversation. Nodding your head, smiling,laughing, using words such as "uh-huh" and"yeah" and asking questions at appropriatetimes assure the person that you are reallylistening.


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skills Clear, organized ideas help you accurately

and honestly describe your feelings andcontribute to conversations and to decisionsthat need to be made. Good communicatorsare also specific. For example, a goodcommunicator would say, "I need to use thecomputer from 7-9," as opposed to "I'll needthe computer today."


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Tips for resolving conflicts Make sure that you remain calm at all times. Speak with a non-provoking tone of voice;

quietly, slowly, and calmly. Listen to the other person carefully without

interrupting them. Respect the other person when voicing your

own opinion or point of view.

Let the other person know that you understandthem fully by asking questions pertaining tohis or her understanding and repeating whatthe person is saying.

Use humour if possible.


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Tips for resolving conflicts Try placing yourself in the other person's shoes. Try not to be judgmental. Do not do anything to

embarrass the other person. Do not accuse theother person of anything. Also, do not punish or

scold them. Do not stand close to them. Stand a few feet away

from them. Make sure that your posture, body language, and

tone of voice is non-threatening. Do not talk with the other person in front of a

group of people. Go into an office or some otherplace to discuss the situation. (Caution: Do not gointo place that will prevent you from receiving helpif you need it.)


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Tips for resolving conflicts Make sure that what you say is simple, clear &

direct.

Do not take anything the other person sayspersonally when he or she is angry, becausethey probably do not mean it.

Make sure that you are not alone just in case

the other person becomes very hostile.

If you are having a heated argument withanother person, save your feelings andopinions for another time and place.


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Remember Ms Desai!

She should use interpersonal

communications skills and show herinterpersonal competence!

Ms. Patel should receive interpersonalrelationship building skills!

A Matter of Attitude


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A Matter of Attitude

Confidence

Confidence

Go For It Lets Both Win

Run Away Yes Boss

Lets Trade


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Building Relationship

Become genuinely interested in otherpeople

Call people by their namesTalk in terms of the other persons

interest

Smile Listen


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You Should

Become aware of yourcommunication style

Improve your Interpersonalcompetence

Reduced conflict in the workplace

Increase productivity!

Thank-You!

Interpersonal Relationships 30 06 08

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