MemoriesofOllybyMatthewKidd,June2013

DearThea,

Iamwritingthiswhenyouareveryyoungbecauseonedayyouwillwanttoknowwhatsortofmanyourfatherwas.IwanttoleaveyousomememorieswhileIstillrememberthedetails.

Ollylikedwordgames,especiallyScrabblewhichheplayedverywell.Butfirstasidestory.YouruncleRicklikedtotravelalot.Inthesummerof2003hestartedatripthatwasplannedtolastforatleastayear.WeagreedtomeetinWarsawnearthestartofhistripandtraveltogetherinEasternEuropeforthreeweeks.RickaskedmetobringatravelScrabbleset.WhenyourmomheardthisrequestshesaidtobewarebecausewhenRickstartedtolosehewouldcurseandcallitallagameofluck.IdiscountedthiswarningbecauseRickandIhadoftenplayedbridgetogetherandIhadnotseenthissideofhim.

Claiminghedidn’tknowallthetwoletterwords,RickaskedforhelpplacinganXadvantageouslyintheendgameandunabletobearseeinganXplacedpoorly,IhelpedhimfindanEXandXUcombinationorsomethingsimilarwhichwasjustenoughtogivehimthefirstvictory.Rickwonthenexttwogamesaswell.Thenthetablesturned.Iwonthenextfivegames.Rickgotgrumpierandgrumpier.Onedaywewerewaitingforatrain.RickwassmokingacheapRussiancigaretteandcursingScrabble.“Itwas,”hesaid,“justagameofluck.”Ikeptmylaughtertomyself.

InScrabble,OllyhadovermeanadvantagesimilartothatIhadoverRick.Ihadreasonableexpectationsofplayingallmytilesatleastonceinthegame,abingo,forwhichthereisa50pointbonus.Ollyoftenmanagedtodothistwiceinagameandthatmadehimhardtobeat.ButonecouldnotsimplyshutdowntheboardtopreventbingosbecauseOllywasalsoamasteroftightplay;infactheseemedtorelishsqueezingthebestresultoutofacrampedpositionwhilehisopponentdespairedoffindinganyplayatall.

StillIcouldbeathimatleastonegameinfour;maybeoneinthree.Oftenthegameswereclosetotheend.OnceatmyhomeinSeattle,Ollywasupabout40points.ButtheletterbagwasemptyandIheldafullrackcontainingablankandanS.TheonlyhookleftwasaTonthefourthrowoftheleftedge.Abingowouldgivemevictoryandwouldspanatripleletterscoreorpossiblytwotripleletterscoresforareallydramaticfinish.OhhowIrackedmybrainsuretherewasasolutionbutIcouldn’tfindthebingo.FinallyIgaveup.ItoldOllyIwasresigningbutwasgoingtodoacomputersearchtoseewhatcouldhavebeen.Myintuitionwascorrect.IhadhadNICTATES,averbderivedfromLatin,whichmeanstowink.ThefunnythingisthatseveralyearslaterMollyandIwereatadinerwhichhadTrivialPursuitcardsmixedinwiththesugarpacks.Oneofthequestionsconcernedthewordnictate.IfonlyIhadplayedmoreTrivialPursuit…WhenItoldOllythisstory,hesaidhewouldliketogotoaplacethathadsuchamusements.I’msurehewouldhavelikedhavelikedBorregoSpringswherethiscaféwaslocatedandthesurroundingBorregodesert.

WhendiscussingScrabblewithMolly,IusedtojokinglyrefertoOllyastheOllyrog,amiddleearthBalrogdemonnotoffirebutofwords.IthinkOllygotwindofthisonceandthoughtitwasabitoverthetop.

Amongdecentplayersitisapointofpridetobeginwithawordthatisfivelettersorlongerinordertoreachthedoublelettersquare;ideallywithamid‐valuetilesuchasanB,C,F,H,K,M,P,W,orY.Forexample,eitherplacementofHONEYwillyields4x2+1+1+1+4=15whichinturnisdoubledbythecenterstartingsquare,foragoodstartof30.Alas,IwasfirsttoplayholdingaracklikeDEINNUU.IscratchedmyheadforawhileandfinallyslappedUNDIEontheboard.Ollyeyedthissuspiciouslybeforeaskingforthedefinition.“It’sthesingularofundies,”Isaidwithastraightface.Awholegamewasbuiltontopofthisphony.IthinkOllywonanyhow.MollyandIstilllaughabouttoday,forexample,“youleftyourundie—justone—onthedryer.”

Inthesummerof2006,OllywenttoMoscowalonetodoresearchattheMoscowcentrallibraryforthethesisthatwouldlaterbepublishedasthebookTheSpiritualizationofMatter.Heinvitedfriendstojoinhimandtowardstheendofhisstaywhenmostofhisresearchwascomplete.Ivisitedforaweekandahalf.OfcourseweplayedalotofScrabbleanddrankbeer,oftenatthesametime.IrecallOllyhavingtherunofthingsbuthealwaystookdelight

ingoodplaysbyhisopponent.HeespeciallylikedmyplayofINFIXonatriplewordscore.ItwasageekywordIknewfromstudyinghowcomputerprogramcompilersworked.

Ollydidn’tcareforpublictransportationifitwaspossibletowalk.Hewasslenderandcouldwalkformilesoftencarryingthesmallpackpicturedhere.WhenMollyandIvisitedShelleyandOllyinCamdenTown,weimmediatelyspenttwoorthreehoursinajetlaggedfogwanderingthetown.Onsubsequentdays,wedidmanymiles.Hewalkedoursocksoff.InMoscow,OllyandIalsowalkedagreatdistancemostdaysandIsawmanyplacesthatIamsurefewtouristseversee.

Olly’sfuelwasgoodEnglishtea.Withoutthishewouldhavegroundtoahalt.Hemadeapotofteaseveraltimesadaythoughcuriouslyoneseldomnoticedhimdoingitbecauseforhimitwasasnaturalanactivityasabutterflyflappingitswingsoradancerpirouetting.Theteaalwaysseemedtoappearmagically.

InMoscowwewerestayinginaveryniceapartmentofacouplewhowereinFranceforthesummer.TheapartmentwasconvenientlylocatedneartheGardenRing,notfarfromRedSquareandtherestofthehistoriccitycenter.Onedayduringmyvisitapianoarrived.Wewereonthefifthfloorandtherewasnoelevator.ThreeburlyRussianmoversgotthepianoallthewayupwithoutascratch.Olly,atalentedplayer,wasthrilled.Hepointedmetoawebsiteofsheetmusicfromwhichwedownloadedsomeclassicalmusic,ChopinIthink.IproppedmylaptoponthepianoandOllywasofftotheraces.

Thereissomethingspecialaboutlisteningtoafriendplayinganinstrument,somethingthatgoesbeyondmerelylisteningtomusicwithafriend.Isupposeitistheenjoymentofthemoment,thesubtleprojectionofmoodontothepiece,andtheabilitytostartandstopasoneseesfit.It’smuchmorewonderfulthanlisteningtotheexactsamedigitalrecordingwhichcanonlybestoppedandresumedinthemostabruptmanner.

OnedayOllytookmetoMoscowStateUniversity.Heshowedmethecafeteriawhereheoftenranintoyourmom.Wealsotookintheviewfromthetopofthebuildingpicturedhere.Idon’tthinkweweresupposedtogotherebutitwasaquiettimeofyearoncampusandOllyknewhowtosneakhiswayin.OnanotherwalkIsawtheapartmentwhereheandyourmomhadlivedforafewmonths.

BothOllyandyourmomspokefluentRussianandknewtheculturewell.SincetheforeignpriceforticketsoradmissiontoanythingwastypicallyfourtimestheRussianprice,itpaidtopassasaRussian.DespitemypartlyPolishfaceandbuild,OllywasatagreatdisadvantageinplayingthisgamewithmesinceIspokenoRussianbeyondafewwords.Stillwetried.Toblendin,Ihadbroughtthesortofnon‐descriptdesaturatedclothingthatRussiansoftenwear.SoonIhadmasteredthedefaultRussianpublicface,asortofconstantlyputuponexpressionwhichdoesnotadmitanypossibilityofthingsgettingbetterandwhichiscertainlynotinterestedintalkingaboutitinpublic.Inthemorningthisisbestcombinedwiththesuggestionofbeinghungover.WearrivedatStatueParkearlyandapproachedtheadmissionbooth.Ididmybesttoimitatethewakingexpressionofafriendwhoenjoyeddrinkingtoomuch.OllyaskedmesomethinginRussiantobolsterourcasefortheRussianrate.Itsoundedlikearequestformoney.Silentlyandsullenlyasthoughthesefewrubleswouldlimitmyabilitytobuyvodkalater,IhandedOllythenotes.Wewerein;therusehadworked.

SeveraldayslaterwhenIknewthelayofthelandOllyneededtospendthemorningattheMoscowcentrallibrary.IwenttoseeRedSquareandwehadagreedtomeetlaterattheMcDonaldsinPushkinSquare,thefirstMcDonaldsinRussia.Theshortsubwaytripwentwellenoughbutalasthestophadtwoexitsanditappearedtheywerequitefarapartonthesurface.Iheadedinthedirectionthatseemedfamiliar,upalongescalator,andthenpastaseeminglyfamiliarstatue.Butneartheexitinbiglettersitonlysaid город.Icouldsound

thisoutanditsoundednothinglikePushkin.SoItrudgedbackdownthelongescalatorandalongwalktotheotherescalator.Butthetopofthatexitdidn’tlookanymorepromising.BackIwent,notwantingtopauseanddrawanyattention—oneneverwantstodrawattentioninRussia.Therewasnothingtodobutexitintofearfulгород.Andlo,therewastheMcDonalds.Ollygotagoodlaughoutofthat,forгородmerelymeanscity.

Itmayseemstrangetosay,butRussiachangedmyunderstandingoffreedom.InAmericawehaveclaimedthewordfreedomforourselves.Wesaywewantothernations’citizenstoexperiencefreedombutatthesametimeweareprideful.Ourfreespeech,ourfreemarkets,ourfreedomtoliveaswewishandwherewewish,ourfreedomtoownenoughfirepowertofendoffaparamilitaryassaultonourfamily.Yes,ourfreedom,baby!Youmightgetitoneday,butwehaveoursheretoday.

Andyetfreedomissubtle.Thereisthefreedomtodosomething.Andthefreedomtopreventsomethingfrombeingdonetousoroursocialgroup,afreedomfromsomething.Andtherearegoodfreedomsandbadfreedomsandallofthesefreedomsmustbebalancedinsomecomplexmanner.RussianslackmanyofthestandardWesternfreedomsinpracticedespitewhattheirofficiallegaldocumentsmightsay.Buttheyhaveotherfreedoms.Beerwassoldeverywhereonthestreet.Noonegaveslightestcareaboutmendrinkingbeeropenlywhilewalkingdownthestreet,throughthepark,oranyotherpublicplace.OllyandIpartookandwalkeddowntosomebenchesinthecourtyardofanoldchurchinthecity.Manymenhaddonethesameandwereinquietconversation.Itwasliberating;thesamesituationwouldhaveresultedinsocialopprobriumorevenarrestinAmerica.

Ourdiscussionturnedphilosophicalandacoupleofhourspassedpleasantly.ThenOllyturnedtomeandaskedifIhadnoticedthebumlyingonthegroundbehindourbench.IsaidthatIhad.“Snowflakes,”hesadlynotedtheywerecalled.Everyyearhundredsofpeoplefrozetodeathinadrunkenstuporinthecoldsnowywinter.NoonedidanythingaboutthesituationbecauseMoscowandRussiaitselfhadgreaterproblems.Freedom,butatanunfortunatecost.

Russianshavethefreedomtoscrewuptheirliveswithouttheirsocietyorgovernmentcaring.Russianshavethefreedomtoliveinthenowbecausethe

futureishighlyuncertainandnotnecessarilybetter.RussianshavethefreedomofKrisKristopherson’s“nothin’lefttolose”sofamouslysungbyJanisJoplin.I’venoticedthisedgydiscomfortingfreedominmodernRussianphotography.Russianshaveallthewrongfreedoms.

Ollycalleditaspiritualcrisis.ItwasnodoubtagreatfallfromtheolderRussiantraditionandculturehestudiedandadmired.OllyIthinkmayhavebeenanOldBelieveratheart.HehadpreviouslytraveledtotheAltairegionofSiberia.Imight,ifhehadlivedlonger,takenhimuponhisinformaloffertoreturntoRussiaandseemoredistantlands.

OnthestreetsofMoscowwefrequentlysawbeggars.Thesewerenotthementallyilloroutrightlazythatoneseesinthewestbutratherordinarypeoplewhoselivesandeverythingtheyeverknewhadbeenupendedbythefallofcommunism,theirpensionserodedbyinflationaryperiodsandotherwoes.Ollyalwayshadafewrublesandkindwordsforeachone.

IwantedtoreturnhomewithsomeRussianvodka.WeenteredasmallconveniencestoreforlocalswhereIpurchasedtwoorthreebottlesofvodkaandotherliquorandseveralbottlesofbeer.ItwaslikethatearlyscenefromthemovieLeavingLasVegas.Theolderladyatthecheckouthaddoubtlessseenitallbutevensosheeyedthetwoofuswithsomeconcern.Isupposeshethoughtweplannedtogothroughitallthatnight.IthappensinRussia.

OnedayOlly’sfriendAlexeyarrivedfromFinlandwherehehadimmigratedtoworkforatechnologycompany.WetraveledbytrainandbustoTarusa,thebirthplaceofafamousRussianpoetess.Fromtherewewalkedawaysinthecountry.Ollywascheeredbythetripoutofthecity.

IleftRussiainagreathurry,havingmisreadmyplaneticket.OllygotmeasfarashecouldontheMoscowMetroandshovedmeintoataxitotheairportintime,whereuponIfoundmyflightsufferedtheusualRussiandelays.

OllyIthinkregardedtheUnitedStateswithsomesuspicion:ourbrashness,ourmaterialism,themisfortuneoftheBushjuniorpresidency,myomissionoftheword,“please.”“It’sjustonelittleword,Matthew.”ForawhileyourparentslivedatthesouthendofSeattle.IthinkOllygrewabitdespondentthoughthingsimprovedwhenhediscoveredagoodpubneartheirapartment.

NowandthenhefoundwaystopokefunatAmericans.WhenthecashieratREIaskedhimifhehadanREImembership,Ollyenquiredinthemostpropermannerwhether,“membershipwascompulsory.”Idon’tthinkthefelloweverfiguredoutwhatOllywasasking.

ButwhateverhethoughtofAmericans,OllylovedtheAmericanlandscapes,especiallytheWesternlandscapes.OurlasttriptogetherwasintheSierrasinKing’sCanyon/SequoiaPark,justRick,Olly,andme.WehadanambitiousplantoreachMt.Whitneyfromthewest.Unliketheeasternapproachwhichrequiredobtainingpermitsmonthsinadvance,arrivalfromthewestdidnot,beingasortofrewardforhikingsofar.Thisonewaytripinvolvedaseveralhundredmilecarshuttlesincenoroadswentthroughthearea.

OnthethirdmorningwestumbledupElizabethPass(lat36.59875048,lon‐118.57584715)andthengotourfirstviewofthestarklatesummerDeadmanCanyon.Hikingdownthecanyon,wecampedneartheRoaringRiverRangerStation(lat36.712481,lon‐118.586721).WehadbroughtthetravelScrabbleset,aluxuryonsuchahike.IhadevenprintedtheentireOfficialTournamentandClubWordList,theU.S.reference,inaverysmallfontonbothsidesofseveralsheetsofpaper(thiswasbeforecellphonesweresmartphones).ItwasRickIthinkwhoinsistedwefinallyplayagameofScrabbledespiteourclearfatigue.

Itdidn’tbeginwell.Someonestartedwithathreeletterwordandthenextplayerbotchedtheboardupfurther.

I’veneverplayedsuchaconstipatedgame.Soonitwasdifficulttoplaceasingletilemuchlesstwoevenwithawordlistathand.Iwasreadytoresignandstartanewgameorjustgotosleep.Buttheotherswantedtofinish.Ollywassteadfastandamazinglyhesqueezedabingooutofthismiserablegameonhislastturn,endingthegameandcatchingRickandmewithsomehighvaluetiles.Itwasacleverwordtoo,nottheeasysortofbingoonemightachievewhenholdingablankandanING.Infactitwasaquitehumorouswordtoendagame;Ijustcan’trememberwhatthewordwas.Rickwasclearlydispleasedaboutthegame’sresult.Quiteexhausted,weburnedtheScrabblewordlistandexcessfood,andsleptwell.

Thefellowshipwasabouttobreakup.Rickwasfitfromhisrecentworldtravelsandeagertocompleteourhikeinwhathehadlearnedwastheminimumamountoftimeinordertoimpressaparkrangerhewasdating.Iwasbythenratherdeskbound,agrandwizardofdataanalysis.Ittookmeacoupleofdaystoreallygetintoahikelikethis.OllywasmiddleoftheroadaboutthepacebutwaseagertoseeMt.Whitneybecausetheopportunitymightnevercomeupagain.ThenextmorningIsaidgoodbyeasRickandOllyheadedtowardMt.Whitney,carryingtheOneScrabbleSetofdoom.ThatwasthelasttimeIsawOlly.

IcompletedtheloopbacktoRick’scarintwodayscrossingoverSillimanPassandsleepingunderthestars.ThenIdrovebacktotheWhitneyportal,tookmycar,anddrovehometoSanDiego.OllyandRickexitedthenextdayandheadedbacktoSanFranciscowhereRicklivedatthattime.