DR CAROL COOPERIMBA 2010
www.drcarolcooper.com
Individuality in Twins & Multiples
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How to get there?
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No multiples are truly identical
Not even if MZ *DNA*Genes not always switched on*Blood flow*Other pre-birth factors*Irises & fingerprints.
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Why individuality matters
Social skillsLanguage
developmentHealthy competitionBehaviourSchool performanceRewards of
parentingAdolescenceAdulthood.
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What we’re up against
Humans designed to have one baby at a time
Twins & more are cute
People are fascinated Popular expectations The “twins-switch”.
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Start before the birth
Prepare the familyGet your priorities sortedChoose names carefullyClothes, etc.
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Is this really ‘William S. Clemens’?
“My twin and I got mixed up in the bath-tub when we were two weeks old and one of us was drowned, but we didn’t know which. Some think it was Bill and some think it was me. One of us had a peculiar mark – a large hole on the back of his left hand, but that was me. That was the one that was drowned”.
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After they arrive
Telling them apartTry not to labelTry not to lumpUse their namesMake eye contactSpeak to each
baby individuallyUsing the other
senses, eg touch.
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As they grow up
Address separately and give attention
Eye contactReading to each
childOwn clothesOwn spaceOwn toysOwn birthday
cards/presents.9
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It’s not available in stores
Need for independence
ExploringCreative playFeeding themselves Dressing themselvesOther tasks; “being
big”Chances to be alone.
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“Why, Mummy?”
Try not to address one child all the time (or first)
Be patient!Repeat as
necessary.
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Life is unfair
ClothesToysGiftsFriendsSchoolGrowth and
health 13
What about the rest of the world?
Other influences on your child
Grandparents/rest of family
Nursery/preschool
TeachersFriends Outside activities.
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Some resources
Twins & Multiple Births – the essential parenting guide (Carol Cooper)
Emotionally Healthy Twins – a new philosophy for parenting two unique children (Joan A Freidman)
Parenting School-age Twins & Multiples (Christina Baglivi Tinglof)
www.twinsandmultiples.org Covers school-years.
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