Helping Children Cope: Strengthening Social
Emotional CompetenceLise Fox
Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention
Florida Center for Inclusive Communities
Why Social Emotional Competence Skills for Coping Strategies for Families, Strategies for
Children
Agenda
Everyone has an invisible bucket. We are at our best when our buckets are overflowing –and at our worst when they are empty.
Whenever we choose to fill others’ buckets, we in turn fill our own.
Everyone also has an invisible dipper. In each interaction, we can use our dipper either to fill or to dip from others’ buckets.
How Full is Your Bucket
Magic Ratio5 positive interactions for
every 1 negative*
*but ratios greater than 13 to 1 are harmful
Emotional Expression Problem Solving Coping Strategies
Pain Disappointment Loss
Self-advocacy
Skills of Resilience Every Child Needs
Talk about your feelings. Say to your child, “Tell me how that makes you feel.” Teach new emotion words (e.g., frustrated, confused,
anxious, excited, worried, disappointed). Talk about how characters in a book, video or on a TV
show may feel. Reflect on specific situations and discuss feelings. Accept and support your child’s expression of feelings. Use books and art activities to talk about emotions. Talk aloud about your own feeling in a variety of situations. Describe how your child’s face looks or pictures of people
in magazines and books. Pretend play with toy figurines, stuffed animals, or puppets
and have them use “feeling words.”
Building Your Child’s Ability to Express Emotions
Turtle Technique
Model remaining calm Teach how to control feelings and calm down
Step 1: recognize your feelings Step 2: Think “stop” Step 3: go inside your shell and take three deep
breaths Step 4: come out when calm and think of a good
solution Practice steps frequently Prepare for and help child handle possible
disappointment and/or change Recognize and comment when the child stays calm
Turtle Technique
RecognizRecognize e
that you that you
feel feel angry.angry.
““ThinkThink” ”
Stop.Stop.
Go into Go into shell. shell. Take 3 Take 3 deep deep breaths. breaths. And think And think calm, calm, coping coping thoughts.thoughts.
Come out Come out of shell of shell
when when calm and calm and thinking thinking
of a of a solution.solution.
When Tucker Turtle Gets Scared…He
Knows How to Be Brave
A scripted story to assist with teaching the “Turtle Technique”
when children feel anxious or scared about medical needs.
By Rochelle Lentini and a very brave Juvenile Arthritis Warrior named Parker Lentini
Copyright © 2010
Created using pictures from Microsoft Clipart® and from information from the Center for the Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) and from the Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Interventions for Young Children(TACSEI).
Personal use or free distribution: No permission is needed to download and/or photo copy this story, as long as the copies are distributed at no cost and a credit to the authors is evident on each copy.
Help the Child Think of a Possible Solution:
•Get a grown-up•Ask nicely•Ignore•Play•Say, “Please stop.”•Say, “Please.”•Share•Trade toys/item•Wait and take turns
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Self Advocacy
Ask for information Prepare questions Structure opportunities Debrief with your child
Be a Part of the Discussion Acknowledge child’s presence Use child’s name Invite into conversation when appropriate
Understand Options and Make Meaningful Choices Identify options Make the pro and con list
Challenge Injustice
Self-Advocacy
Supporting the GLADD
Give Information Prepare your child to provide information and answer questions
Listen Help your child develop system to remember and record
information Ask
Support your child in asking the questions Decide
Create the opportunity for your child to have an active role Do
Create a “Do” plan Design checklists or help your child create a list
Articles for families and visualshttp://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/family.html Making life easier series for parents of young childrenwww.challengingbehavior.org/communities/families.html GLADD videos and supports for youthhttp://hctransitions.ichp.ufl.edu/gladd/ Visuals for feelings, emotional regulation, problem
solvinghttp://depts.washington.edu/hscenter/teacher-
tools#visual
Web Sites