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Don’t Just Spin
itR ck it!!!
SOUTHERN PROPOSALACCENTS CONFERENCE
ATLANTA, GA2010
Proposal Jukebox
Making YourProposal Graphics
a Hit with DynamiteAction Captions
Sandy LuttrellHewlett-Packard Company
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OBJECTIVESFOR THIS SESSION
• Importance of good Action Captions
• What makes a good Action Caption
• Examples of Traditional vs. Action Captions
• How to create a good Action Caption
• Repeatable process for analyzing surrounding text
• Hands-on exercises to create Action Captions that are a HIT
• Q&A
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WHAT IS AN ACTION CAPTION?
• Looking at a picture without a caption is like watching television with the sound turned off!!!
• After headlines and graphics, captions are thethird most looked at portion of most printed pages
• Captions provide an opportunity to both explainand summarize an idea, concept, solution
• Well-written captions are one more opportunityto pull the reader into the RFP response
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IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
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IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
ACME’s project organization
ACME’s project organization is staffed with key leadership personnel who have successfully demonstrated their ability on projectsof comparable size and complexity.
–Does it interpret, inform, or persuade?
Traditional vs. Action
Caption
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IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
ACME’s project organization
ACME’s project organization is staffed with key leadership personnel who have successfullydemonstrated their ability on projects of comparable size and complexity
–Does the caption interpret, inform, or persuade?
Traditional vs. Action
Caption
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IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Does the caption grab the reader’s attention and deliver the message in 10 seconds?
Map of Our Local Locations
The proximity of our local offices in Fort McCloud will afford rapid response to address your changing support requirements.
Traditional vs. Action
Caption
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IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Is the caption in short sentences and does it deliver a concise message?
Project Organization Chart
Each member of our multi-level project team is proficient in USACE technical levels required byyour dynamic environment requirements.
Traditional vs. Action
Caption
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IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Does the caption communicate a feature, benefit or both?
Feature = something unique aboutthe goods, services or ideabeing offered
Benefit = something that addresses a concern or solves a problem for the customer (their hot buttons/pain points)
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IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Is the caption customer-focused?
Understanding of the Requirements
We understand Jobeson Corporation’s technical requirements and we are dedicated to meet them with cost-effective streamlined procedures and IT focused processes.
Traditional vs. Action
Caption
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#1 - What is the graphic’s intent?
Convey growth
Persuade the customer why you should betheir vendor of choice
Interpret/explain the features of your products
Inform the customer about the benefits of your products
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#2 - Is there an existing “horse” caption that can be modified?
What in the world is a “horse caption”?
? ? ???
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
Horse
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
Triple Crown Winner and thoroughbred, “Milkshake”, generated a continued revenue stream for 10 consecutive years, which led to early retirement in an idyllic location
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#3 - What key words or concepts in the surrounding text directly preceding or following the graphic can be used?
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#4 Can you identify key benefits or features that can be emphasized in the new Action Caption?
Benefit = something that addresses a concern or solves a problem for the customer (their hot buttons/pain points)
Feature = something unique aboutthe goods, services or idea being offered
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#5 Is the Action Caption customer-focused?
Have you considered Customer’s
• Hot buttons, key concern
• Name
• Location(s)
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HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#6 Can you delete any of the text in the proposal body and replace it with the new Action Caption?
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ACTION CAPTION CREATION REPEATABLE PROCESS
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TRADITIONAL CAPTIONSWHAT’S MISSING?
Benefits
Features
Who/What
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EXAMPLE 1Acme Utility Computing SolutionsCompanies today face increasing complexity, constant change and escalating costs as they seek new ways to derive business value from their information technology (IT) investments. It capacity is a moving target—excess capacity means wasted profit, while insufficient capacity can lead to missed service level agreements (SLA) and dissatisfied customers. Scaling It to meet changing needs is a business imperative, yet competitive pressures allow scarce time for adequate planning.
Acme offers an innovative alternative to solving IT capacity challenges. Acme Utility Computing solutions is an integrated set of products, services and financing designed to deliver IT infrastructure resources when and where needed, with payment based on usage. Combining proven Acme technology and services strength, Utility Computing solutions provide the flexibility to align computing capacity to fluctuating business needs. With Utility Computing solutions from Acme, [CustomerName] not only can contain procurement and support costs, but also can gain enhanced business agility.
Aligning IT Costs with Business Value
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Acme Utility Computing Solutions
Companies today face increasing complexity, constant change and escalating costs as they seek new ways to derive business value from their information technology (IT) investments. IT capacity is a moving target—excess capacity means wasted profit, while insufficient capacity can lead to missed service level agreements (SLA) and dissatisfied customers. Scaling It to meet changing needs is a business imperative, yet competitive pressures allow scarce time for adequate planning.
Acme offers an innovative alternative to solving IT capacity challenges. Acme Utility Computing solutions is an integrated set of products, services and financing designed to deliver IT infrastructure resources when and where needed, with payment based on usage. Combining proven Acme technology and services strength, Utility Computing solutions provide the flexibility to align computing capacity to fluctuating business needs. With Utility Computing solutions from ACME, [CustomerName] not only can contain procurement and support costs, but also can gain enhanced business agility.
ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
Who/What:Benefits:Features:
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CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
Who/What: Companies that face increasing complexity, constant change and
escalating costs
Benefits: Wasted profit = Increase profitMissed SLAs = Redirect SLAsDissatisfied = Satisfied customers
Features: Flexibility to align computing capacity
to fluctuating business needs
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Acme solutions provide companies like [CustomerName]the flexibility to manage constant change, align IT costs with business value, redirected SLAs and increase profit
NEW ACTION CAPTION
Our old caption: Aligning IT Cost with Business Value
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EXAMPLE 2ACME Broad Product PortfolioThe quality and diversity of ACME’s broad product portfolio assures enduring dependability, choice, and investment protection for [CustomerName]. The ACME product portfolio ranges from industry-standard notebook and desktop computers to powerful data center and enterprise server platforms. Scalable, efficient and highly available ACME computing environments can help [CustomerName] achieve its vision of an agile enterprise that provides the headroom to handle demand spikes, the security to increase customer touch, the flexibility to add instant capacity and the tools to manage growth. ACME award-winning products are designed to high standards of quality and engineered for reliability and performance.
ACME – Total Solutions for Your Business
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ACME Broad Product Portfolio
The quality and diversity of ACME’s broad product portfolio assures enduring dependability, choice, and investment protection for [CustomerName]. The ACME product portfolio ranges from industry-standard notebook and desktop computers to powerful data center and enterprise server platforms. Scalable, efficient and highly available ACME computing environments can help [CustomerName] achieve its vision of an agile enterprise that provides the headroom to handle demand spikes, the security to increase customer touch, the flexibility to add instant capacity and the tools to manage growth. ACME award-winning products are designed to high standards of quality and engineered for reliability and performance.
Who/What:Benefits:Features:
ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME – Total Solutions for Your Business
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Who/What: ACME’s broad product portfolio
Benefits: Assures enduring dependability, choice, and investment protection
Features: Scalable, efficient, highly available Achieve its vision of an agile enterprise
Handle demand spikesSecurity to increase customer touchFlexibility to add instant capacityTools to manage growth
CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
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NEW ACTION CAPTION
Scalable ACME products provide [CustomerName] with dependability, flexibility, choice and investment protection
Our old caption: ACME – Total Solutions for Your Business
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Features
GRAB YOUR INDEX CARDS
Benefits Who/What
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QUIZ 1In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
Business Continuity Methodology Life Cycle
ACME BusinessContinuityProgram
Management
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In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
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QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXTIn today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
Who/What:
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QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXTIn today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
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QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXTIn today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
Features:
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QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXTIn today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
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QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXTIn today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
Benefits:
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Who/What: ACME is a global provider
Quiz 1: CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
Features: High performance computing platformsAdvanced end-to-end solutionsincluding mission critical data center servicesRecognized for excellence in quality and supportWidely respected for its leadership intechnology innovation
Benefits: Optimizes your return on investment (ROI)and achieves their business requirementsin a cost-effective manner
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NEW ACTION CAPTIONOur old caption: Aligning Business Continuity Methodology Lifestyle
ACME is a global provider recognized for excellence in quality and support of high performance computing platforms that optimizes [CustomerName]’s ROI and to help you achieve your business requirements in a cost-effective manner
ACME BusinessContinuityProgram
Management
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QUIZ 2:ACME Integrated Support Offering
ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts fromdifferent vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entiremulti-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
Support Partnership for Today’s Open Environment
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ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts from different vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entire multi-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
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ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts from different vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entire multi-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
Benefits:
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ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts from different vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entire multi-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
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ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts from different vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entire multi-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
Who/What:
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
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ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts from different vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entire multi-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
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ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts from different vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entire multi-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
Features:
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Who/What: ACME integrated support services
QUIZ 2 - CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
Feature: Consolidate support contractsTotal support for entire multi-vendor multi-technology open environmentsGreat control and flexibility
Benefit: Service quality is improvedCost of multi-vendor support managementis reduced
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Option 2ACME’s integrated support offers consolidated management for today’s multi-vendor and multi-technology open environments. [CustomerName’s] service quality is improved and cost for support environments are reduced.
Option 1
ACME offers support partnership for [CustomerName]. Service quality is improved and the cost of support management is reduced.
Option 3ACME’s integrated support partnership for managing multi-vendor, multi-technology environments reduces costs and improves quality.
Which Action Caption Would You Choose
Support Partnership for Today’s Open Environment
OLD CAPTION
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OPTION 2
ACME’s integrated support offers consolidated management for today’s multi-vendor and multi-technology open environments. [CustomerName’s] service quality is improved and costs for support environments are reduced.
Who/What:Features:Benefits:
Option 3ACME’s integrated support partnership for managing multi-vendor, multi-technology environments reduces costs and improves quality.
Option 1
ACME offers support partnership for [CustomerName]. Service quality is improved and the cost of support management is reduced.
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Final Written
Quiz
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1. Review text, graphic, and old caption
2. Analyze text/write downwhat you think are the
• Who/What• Benefits• Features
3. Review your results table
4. Create your new Action Caption
5. Share a few Action Captions
YOUR FINAL QUIZ
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The ACME Server Family Overview
ACME offers the broadest server portfolio in the industry. From its best-selling ProLiant servers and ACME BladeSystem to its large-scale Integrity Superdome enterprise platform and fault tolerant Integrity NonStop systems, ACME has the right server to fit [CustomerName]’s requirements. Each of these server platforms delivers the stability, efficiency and agility necessary to handle the multitude of computing demands in today’s complex IT and data center environments.
Key competitive differentiators of the ACME server family include the following:• Standards-based systems and services simplify IT environments and give greater control over costs• Simplified, integrated management solutions spanning heterogeneous IT infrastructures• Virtualization solutions that support automated pooling and sharing of IT resources to optimize utilization, with options for utility pricing that align payments with actual usage• Real time solutions that provide a single, up-to-the-second view of information• Innovative power and cooling solutions help cut energy costs
ACME server families include: ProLiant, BladeSystem, Integrity, and Integrity NonStop servers. While there is some commonality in terms of industries served, each family of ACME servers has a distinct value proposition and differentiating attributes.
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OLD CAPTION – ACME SERVER PORTFOLIO
Who/What: ACME, server portfolio, ProLiant, BladeSystem, Integrity, Integrity NonStop servers
Features: Standard-based systems and servicesSimplified solutions span heterogeneous IT
InfrastructuresVirtualization solutionsReal time solutionsInnovative power and cooling solutions
Benefits: Delivers stability, efficiency and agility Greater control over costsSpans heterogeneous infrastructures
Optimizes utilization… offers utility pricing optionsProvide up-to-the second view of informationCut energy costs
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Old caption: ACME Server Portfolio
NEW ACTION CAPTION
ACME’s simplified real-time server solutions deliver stability, efficiency and agility while allowing [CustomerName] greater control and the ability to cut costs.ACME’s simplified real-time server solutions deliver stability, efficiency and agility while allowing [CustomerName] greater control and the ability to cut costs.
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SUMMARY
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Does your new Action Caption:
MAKING YOUR PROPOSAL GRAPHICS A HIT WITH ACTION CAPTIONS SUMMARY
You definitely have a DYNAMIC Action Caption!!!
– Interpret, inform, or persuade
– Grab the reader’s attention and deliver the message in 10 seconds
– Focus on your customer
– Deliver a concise message in short sentences– Communicate a benefit, feature, or both
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QUESTIONS