WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE THE BODY Adrenal glands

Prof. Lakshman Madurasinghe, PhDProf. Lakshman Madurasinghe, PhDConsultant Psychologist, AttorneyConsultant Psychologist, Attorney

What is Counselling ?What is Counselling ?Why do we need it ?Why do we need it ?

Counselling may be defined Counselling may be defined as as

1.providing help and support 1.providing help and support to a clientto a client

2. creating a climate of 2. creating a climate of acceptanceacceptance

3. Assisting the client3. Assisting the clientto explore, understand and to explore, understand and

act (EUA) act (EUA)

It is a dynamic relationship It is a dynamic relationship between two or more between two or more

persons- A QUANTUM persons- A QUANTUM MODELMODEL

consiliumconsilium….grasp with….grasp with

sellansellan….to sell or deliver….to sell or deliver

counselling is delivered and counselling is delivered and counselee grasps together counselee grasps together

with counsellorwith counsellor

GOALS AND AIMS OF COUNSELLING

1. To understand the counselee’s current situation.

2. To understand how he has tried to handle the problem.

3. To understand his view of the problem……….

4. To understand his emotional reactions.5. To evaluate the total problem.6. To help him clarify his life situation

Prof. Edwin Herr….

Hypothesis testing

Triple filter of Integrity

HonestAccountable

Just & Equitable

Herrmann Brain-dominance Herrmann Brain-dominance instrumentinstrument

Left brain- logical thinkersLeft brain- logical thinkersleft brain –limbic- sequential left brain –limbic- sequential

thinkersthinkers

Right brain- holistic thinkersRight brain- holistic thinkersRight-brain-limbic- emotional Right-brain-limbic- emotional

thinkersthinkers

Spect AnalysisSpect AnalysisWhat happens if full brain is not What happens if full brain is not

usedused

What is the reality around What is the reality around us ?us ?

Confucius in AnalectsConfucius in Analectssayssays

Wealth and honour are what Wealth and honour are what every person desires. But if every person desires. But if they have been obtained in they have been obtained in violation of moral principles, violation of moral principles,

they must not be keptthey must not be kept

Socrates in Apology saysSocrates in Apology says

The moral person does not put money or The moral person does not put money or anything above virtueanything above virtue

EastIndiaChina/Japan1000+ BCEEastIndiaChina/Japan1000+ BCEJudaism::Moses 1500-1350 BCE Moses 1500-1350 BCE Hinduism::

2000 BCE 600 BCE2000 BCE 600 BCEZoroastrianism::Zoroaster 628-527 BCEZoroaster 628-527 BCEJainism::Mahavira 599-527 BCEMahavira 599-527 BCE Buddhism::Buddha 563-483Buddha 563-483 BCEBCE

TaoismTaoism::Lao Tse 580-500 BCELao Tse 580-500 BCE

ConfucianismConfucianism::Confucius 551-579 BCE 100 CE Confucius 551-579 BCE 100 CE

Christianity Christianity::Jesus 1-33 CE Jesus 1-33 CE Shinto Shinto::100 CE600 CE100 CE600 CE Islam Islam::

Muhammad 570-636 CE Muhammad 570-636 CE

Shakespeare on RosesShakespeare on Roses

A rose by any other name smells as sweet……..

Mini wars, hostages, hi-jackings, Mini wars, hostages, hi-jackings, hundred other horrors and terrors is hundred other horrors and terrors is

disquieting.disquieting.

Inside society there is societal entropy. Inside society there is societal entropy.

Crimes are escalating. Violence and Crimes are escalating. Violence and vices are spiralingvices are spiraling..

Counselling is not…..

1. Advice giving

2. Opinion giving

3. Sympathizing

Counselling is not…..

4. Giving practical help

5. Not simply interviewing

6. Not simply listening

Skills are gradual not Skills are gradual not sudden , so constant practice sudden , so constant practice

is vitalis vitala few months……a few months……

Psychological approaches to Psychological approaches to CounsellingCounselling

Client Centred- Carl RogersClient Centred- Carl RogersPsychodynamic- FreudPsychodynamic- Freud

Gestalt- Frit PerlsGestalt- Frit PerlsHumanistic- RET-EllisHumanistic- RET-Ellis

Personal Construct- KellyPersonal Construct- KellyBehavioural- Watson, SkinnerBehavioural- Watson, SkinnerTransactional Analysis- BerneTransactional Analysis- Berne

WHAT ARE THE 3 P’SWHAT ARE THE 3 P’S

PremisePremisePersonPersonProcessProcess

PremisePremise

Human interaction is primary Human interaction is primary to lifeto life

1. Interdependence 1. Interdependence2. Independence 2. Independence

PersonPerson

Accept 3 factorsAccept 3 factors1. Recognize importance of 1. Recognize importance of

spiritual valuesspiritual values2. Love others as self2. Love others as self

3. Accept self as human 3. Accept self as human

Counsellor’s qualitiesCounsellor’s qualities

EmpathyEmpathy

What is empathy ?What is empathy ?1. 1. Please agree in groups and Please agree in groups and

present your findingspresent your findings

2. Imagine a man falling through ice 2. Imagine a man falling through ice and you are watching from outsideand you are watching from outsideIs the picture a useful metaphor for Is the picture a useful metaphor for

empathy- 15 mtsempathy- 15 mts

EmpathyEmpathy

Some answersSome answers

Implies riskImplies riskemotional involvementemotional involvement

concernconcernconnection between you and connection between you and

the manthe man

EmpathyEmpathy

To understand someone To understand someone from his point of view, by from his point of view, by sensing and experiencing sensing and experiencing

his feelings and perspectivehis feelings and perspective

Apathy; Empathy, SympathyApathy; Empathy, Sympathy

EmpathyEmpathyPeople who empathize- ActivityPeople who empathize- Activity

5 mts 5 mts

Discuss with group 10 mtsDiscuss with group 10 mts

EmpathyEmpathy

““Why do we need to steer this Why do we need to steer this difficult course in today’s difficult course in today’s

organisations ? “ organisations ? “

Group activity – 10 mtsGroup activity – 10 mts

EmpathyEmpathy

NegotiationNegotiationConflict ManagementConflict ManagementManaging diversityManaging diversityDeveloping others Developing others

Customer needsCustomer needsnetworkingnetworking


1. Empathy- Your hurt is my 1. Empathy- Your hurt is my hurthurt

2. Positive regard2. Positive regard3. Genuineness 3. Genuineness 4. Concreteness 4. Concreteness


5. Clear thinking5. Clear thinking6. Common sense6. Common sense7. Self awareness 7. Self awareness

8. Warmth8. Warmth

Counsellor’s MotivationCounsellor’s Motivation


1. The need for relationships1. The need for relationships

2. The need to control2. The need to control


3. The need to rescue 3. The need to rescue

4. The need for information 4. The need for information


5. Just fashionable….. 5. Just fashionable…..

Some don’ts in CounsellingSome don’ts in Counselling

Don’t MoralizeDon’t MoralizeDon’t compare with your experienceDon’t compare with your experienceDon’t offer advice on personal and Don’t offer advice on personal and

emotional issuesemotional issuesDon’t tell the client they don’t feel a Don’t tell the client they don’t feel a certain way- of course you are not certain way- of course you are not

depressed…..depressed…..

Counsellor’s RoleCounsellor’s Role


1. Being hasty instead of 1. Being hasty instead of deliberatedeliberate

2. Being disrespectful 2. Being disrespectful instead of sympatheticinstead of sympathetic


3. Being judgmental instead 3. Being judgmental instead of unbiasedof unbiased

4. Being directive instead of 4. Being directive instead of interpretiveinterpretive


5. Emotionally over involved5. Emotionally over involved

6.Artificial- not authentic6.Artificial- not authentic

Emotions and feelingsEmotions and feelings

Please complete format and Please complete format and discuss with partnerdiscuss with partner

10 mts10 mts

The Counselee

The Counselee’s rights must be respected

1. Right to speak and be heard2. Right to his/her opinion3. Right to defend him/herself4. Right to personal philosophy

The processThe process

Moving Interviews forwardMoving Interviews forward

3 Stages3 Stages

UnderstandUnderstandExploreExplore

ActAct

Check list of essentialsCheck list of essentials

11. . Why does he need help at this timeWhy does he need help at this time2. What has he already done towards2. What has he already done towards

solving the problemsolving the problem3. What help has he already received3. What help has he already received

Check list of essentialsCheck list of essentials

4. What help does he still need4. What help does he still need5. Spiritual needs5. Spiritual needs6. Plan of action6. Plan of action

Unskilled responses

1. Me too

2. If I were you

3. Yes, but

Active listening is a learned Active listening is a learned skill and not a natural skill and not a natural

attributeattribute

Listening AssessmentListening Assessment

Listening Listening

As a group spend a few As a group spend a few minutes thinking about your minutes thinking about your

own attitudes, pressures, own attitudes, pressures, concerns and behaviour concerns and behaviour that block the listening that block the listening

capacitycapacity

Effective Listening Effective Listening behaviourbehaviour

SOLERSOLER

1. Sitting squarely1. Sitting squarely2. Open position2. Open position

3. Leaning forward3. Leaning forward4. Eye contact4. Eye contact

5. Relaxing5. Relaxing

Positive Listening ActivityPositive Listening Activityin each group speaker, in each group speaker, listener and observerlistener and observer

Speak about your home or Speak about your home or workplace for 2 mtsworkplace for 2 mts

Check List of listening skills

1. Be accepting2. Be concerned3. Be patient4. Be specific5. Be honest6. Be faithful

1. Be Accepting1. Be Accepting

Take a non-judgmental stanceTake a non-judgmental stanceAccept him for what he isAccept him for what he is

Accept him for where he isAccept him for where he is

2. Be Concerned2. Be Concerned

Caring and willing to get involvedCaring and willing to get involvedAttentive to what the client saysAttentive to what the client says

Your motivation is loveYour motivation is love

3. Be patient3. Be patient

The client sets the scheduleThe client sets the scheduleGiving time suggests interestGiving time suggests interest

Do not force the paceDo not force the pace

4. Be specific4. Be specific

Ask specific questionsAsk specific questionsGive concrete statementsGive concrete statementsConfront inconsistenciesConfront inconsistencies

5. Be honest5. Be honest

Respond in a way that reflects your Respond in a way that reflects your feelingsfeelings

Your responses are to be congruent Your responses are to be congruent with your feelingswith your feelings

Your responses should be graciousYour responses should be gracious

6. Be faithful6. Be faithful

Absolute confidentialityAbsolute confidentialityRefrain from passing along info given Refrain from passing along info given

by clientby clientAlways keep an appointment with clientAlways keep an appointment with client

The Complete MessageThe Complete MessagePlease fill out the %Please fill out the %

?? % Non Verbal

?? % ?? %Tone

Content

The Complete MessageThe Complete Message

Nonverbal – 55 %Nonverbal – 55 %Tone of voice- 38 %Tone of voice- 38 %Actual words- 7 % !!Actual words- 7 % !!

DEPRESSION

Is called the common cold of the mind.

It affects our work, relationships, marriage

What is it trying to say to you…

It is an inner scream telling us that we have neglected some area of our lives

WHO GETS DEPRESSED ?

More women are depressed than menYoung adults 18-44 than older adultsSeparated and divorced

LOSS OF PERSPECTIVE

When a person is depressed he loses perspective. The way he views life, his job and family is coloured

IT MIGHT ALSO HELP….

Depression can prompt us to clear the air and discard years of accumulated anger and hurt

REASONS

Past deprevationImproper food and restReaction to medicationChemical imbalanceRepressed angerGrief

NEGATIVE THINKING

Negative self-talk is the culprit that fosters negative thinking leading to depression

WHAT ABOUT HIGH STANDARDS ?

Having excessively high standards- being a perfectionist -is a sure way to invite depression into your life

IT IS NOT THE END OF LIFE…..

Depression is not the end of the world, even though to the depressed individual it appears that way

BURNOUT

Burnout’s first symptom is an all-round feeling of fatigue

BURNOUT

Usually such people do not get involved in exercises or stress reduction programmes.

INTELLCTUAL AND CREATIVE ABILITIES DIMINISH

BURNOUT CAUSES

Unrealistic expectationsFocus on goal but no regardTo how it is attainedDistribution

HOW TO ESCAPE

Distinguish between idea and fact

One of the best remedies for depression is to become more active

YOU MAY HAVE TO DO ………..

With depression, you must do what you don’t feel like doing before you feel like doing it

Counselling is a Counselling is a Quantum Quantum

phenomenonphenomenon

Classical model of Newton has collapsed

Reality is more dynamic

SUPERUNIFICATION

Counselling is the connection between

Counsellor and Counsellee

Collective Consciousness

Collective Neural PatternsCollective Neural Patterns

Counsellor Counselle

The Consciousness structure influences behaviour

The 3 way interaction of Knower- Counsellor

Known – Counsellee

and the Process of knowing

E consciousness

in the dynamics of their consciousness

3 in 1 structure of Consciousness

Being in the G.A.P

Counselling is self referral Willing Relationship

Consciousness creates Counselling

Couns’lng is a field interaction

Not everyone will follow Occurs as an event

Involves risk and uncertainty

Use influence beyond formal authority

99Quantum Quantum

LawsLawsof Counselingof Counseling

Operate outside defined boundaries

Two views of CounsellingTwo views of Counselling

Classical Classical PhysicsPhysics Quantum PhysicsQuantum Physics•Counseling is in parts

•Counseling is a continuous attribute of a person

•Influence is based on force

•Counseling is a field

•Counseling is a discontinuous event

•Influence is an interaction

•Conforms to cause-and-effect logic

•Objective phenomenon

•Unstructured and unpredictable

•Subjective phenomenon

Quantum Counsellors vs Quantum Counsellors vs Classical CounsellorsClassical Counsellors

Classical Classical CounsellorCounsellor Quantum CounsellorQuantum Counsellor

•Have appointed clients

•Use influence based on formal authority

•Operate within prescribed pathways

•Attract willing clients

•Develop influence beyond authority

•Operate outside prescribed pathways

•Are given a position

•Rely on tradition and procedure

•Take initiative to help

•Rely on consciousness

Eliminate-Eliminate- Quick fix mentality, Human hardware issues, - attitudesQuick fix mentality, Human hardware issues, - attitudes

ExchangeExchange- - Positive thoughts, being in the G.A.P, better software Positive thoughts, being in the G.A.P, better software

Energize-Energize- 8 point Quality yardstick ,Slow down brain waves8 point Quality yardstick ,Slow down brain waves

more delta and theta more delta and theta

EmpathyEmpathy- - Understand Counsellee’s needs; higher EQUnderstand Counsellee’s needs; higher EQ

EncourageEncourage- - Rewards, empowermentRewards, empowermentEsteemEsteem- - Develops his esteemDevelops his esteem

Endure-Endure- Create support system, learn from mistakesCreate support system, learn from mistakes

Eternal-Eternal- Not violate ethics and morality and be value-centricNot violate ethics and morality and be value-centric

Use of E-Consciousness- 8 point systemUse of E-Consciousness- 8 point system

WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE THE BODY Adrenal glands

Documents

bce taoism

bce buddhism

bce hinduism

perspectiveapathy empathy

ce shinto

activity5 mts

ce christianity

mts empathywhy