Victim Advocacy with Children Exposed to Domestic Violence Kathryn Ford, LMSW Center for Court Innovation 520 8 th Ave., 18 th Floor New York, NY 10018.

Victim Advocacy with Children Exposed to Domestic Violence

Kathryn Ford, LMSWCenter for Court Innovation520 8th Ave., 18th FloorNew York, NY 10018(646) [email protected]

What Do Kids Need to Heal & Grow? Sense of safety, structure, limits &

predictability Not feeling responsible for adults, clear

message about responsibility for DV Good boundaries around adult info Strong bond to primary caregiver: Feel

she can protect them, respect her, feel supported in having strong relationship

Adapted from Lundy Bancroft.

Principles for Supportive Response Use a developmental, child-centered,

strengths-based perspective View child in context of family, culture &

community Respect & support the role of the mother

as primary caregiver Services should be voluntary &

conducted in a spirit of collaboration Create a predictable environment that

offers safety, structure & nurturance

Children & DV Agencies At first, children were “invisible victims” Scarce resources had to be used for

survival & “the basics” Premise that helping the mother will

help the child Often true, but sometimes not

Desire to respect women’s autonomy Services more often serve kids in

shelter, not those in the community

Children & DV Agencies, cont. 50% of shelter residents are children &

80% of adults are accompanied by a child Advocates noticed children’s suffering &

unmet needs Most DV agencies now have some type of

children’s program: In 1980, 43% had some type of children’s

service, mostly child careBy 1997, 72.4% offered children’s services

Barriers to Working with Children Relocations due to safety or financial

concerns Inability to contact, lack of follow through

Concrete obstacles Transportation, scheduling, child care, payment

Violence-related stress of parents Children with severe difficulties may be

inappropriate for a group Lack of specialized services

Potential Parent Dynamics Inaccurate perception of child’s needs Trauma avoidance (not want to think or

talk about it) Concerns re. confidentiality May seek help for child first Abuser may interfere with child’s

therapy To prevent disclosures, keep children more easily manipulated & intimidated

Overcoming Barriers Flexibility in scheduling, sliding scale for

fees, transportation assistance Clear and repeated marketing about

programs, so parents understand target population, content & goals

Assist parents in assessing whether their children need services

Address parents’ feelings about effects of DV on their children

Questions for Parents What concerns, if any, do you have about

your children spending time with their father? Has your partner ever threatened to take the

kids away or interfere with custody/visitation? Has your partner ever threatened to or

actually hurt your children? Where are the children during DV incidents?

How do they react? Do you have any concerns about how your

children are doing? Have you seen any significant changes in your child?

Assessing Child-Related Needs Child care, early childhood education,

evaluation re. special needs Trauma-focused therapy Respite care A well-deserved break! After school / recreational programs Financial resources, inc. child support Health issues

Preventive care, dental care, insurance

Supporting Women’s Parenting Primary caregiver should be involved throughout intervention process

Can work with mothers to: Talk with their children about DV Safety plan for the family Understand children’s trauma & impact of

DV on parent-child relationship Help their children copeAccess community resources

Questions for Kids Arguments & disagreements happen in all

families. What happens in your family when adults disagree?

What do you do when your parents fight? Do you ever see/hear fighting, or people in

your family hurting each other? Are you ever afraid that your mom or dad will

get hurt, or that you will get hurt? What was the worst fight you ever saw? Does anyone at home hit or hurt you, or touch

you in a way that makes you uncomfortable?

Important Messages for Kids

“It’s not your fault” “Violence and abuse are adults’

responsibility, not kids’” “We will do everything we can to keep

you safe” “I believe you” “No one deserves to be abused” “This is a safe place to talk”

Safety Planning with Children Ages 3 and up; on their own, or w/ parent Main goal is empowerment

Validating kids’ experiences & the ways they’ve protected themselves

Information Increased sense of control, decreased anxiety

Can incorporate psychoed re. DV Meet with parent first to gather info: Child’s

needs & abilities, risks from abuser, mother’s safety plan, safe people & places

Safety Planning, cont. Plan should be simple, realistic & age-

appropriate Assist child in identifying:

Particular dangers & fears Corresponding safety strategies

Ask child to ID safe people/places inside & outside home, combine with parent’s list

Discuss possible scenarios and how to utilize safety plan

Safety Planning, cont. Child can draw a picture of safe space,

decorate safety plan, share it w/ parent Role play

Calling 911Using safety strategies

Important message: There’s no such thing as a “foolproof” safety plan. If someone gets hurt, it’s the abuser’s responsibility, not the child’s.

DV Agency Supports for Kids Separate intake process & shelter

orientation for children Pamphlets, books & videos for parents

and children about DV Recreational activities for kids, for moms &

kids together Partnerships with health care providers,

developmental specialists, mental health providers, legal services

Tutoring & educational support

DV Agency Supports, cont. Parenting classes and/or support groups

for mothers Therapeutic child care Designating a child advocate Development of standards for staff who

work with children Training & support for all staff Evaluation of programs for children

Collaboration with Child Welfare Historic barriers Mistrust; different

priorities, mandates & funding Advocates have a lot to offer:

Understanding of DV & families’ needsExpanding repertoire of service & safety

options Focusing attention on offender

accountability Work to develop shared mission &

guiding principles for practice

Models for Collaboration DV consultants located in CPS for case

consultation, accompaniment on home visits & immediate service provision

Cross-training & shadowing Development of protocols for screening,

referrals, reporting & information-sharing DV advocates in Family Court Joint representation on DV Coalitions,

child & adult fatality review teams

Mandatory Reporting & DV

Law varies by state Advise parent up front of restrictions on confidentiality

If a report must be made, offer the option of client making the call with your support

Educate clients about the role of CPS & their response

Advocate for the family with CPS

In the Community… Community education/outreach on

children’s issues DV prevention work Participating in/creating a children’s

committee as part of DV Coalition Support BPs in incorporating material on

children & parenting into their curricula Assist supervised visitation programs in

being safe & responsive to DV

Questions?

Thank you!