TIMOTHY McSWEENEY’S THANKSGIVING GALLIMAUFRY!

TIMOTHY McSWEENEY’STHANKSGIVING GALLIMAUFRY!

featuring recipes from

At Home on the Rangeby Margaret Yardley Potter

Mission Street Foodby Anthony Myint and Karen Leibowitz

and Lucky Peach

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MSF

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© McSWEENEY’S • ALL PHOTOS BY ALANNA HALE

FISH HOUSE PUNCH by Margaret Yardley Potter (At Home on the Range)

3⁄4 lb sugar, dissolved in a little water (not too much)1 qt fresh strained lemon juice

(NOTE: frozen lemonade concen trate is a fine substitute, too. Use two cans and dial down the sugar)

2 qts Jamaica rum1 qt cognac2 qts water1⁄2 C peach brandy

For that dreaded but often necessary large party, with no assistant bartender, a drink that can be made well ahead of time is usually easier to serve than cocktails. FISH HOUSE PUNCH, known and appreciated by George Washington, is without a peer in this category, but should be served with caution to the uninitiated. Looking and tasting almost as mild as Coca-Cola, it has scored more knockouts than Joe Louis himself. So keep a watchful eye on any rich unsophis-ticated maiden aunt’s trips to the source of supply, for while with her second cup she may

well begin writing checks in your favor for astro-nomical amounts, after the third or fourth bea-ker her illegible signature is likely to leave the way open for later unjustified charges of forg-ery. Facing possible results cheerfully, proceed with the mixing. Thoroughly dissolve sugar in just enough water to take up the sugar. Add lemon juice, Jamaica rum, cognac, water, and peach brandy. Allow this to brew 2 or 3 hours or overnight, in a corked demijohn in a cool spot, then an hour or two before serving pour it into a punch bowl over a big piece of ice.

“Thanks to this punch, I know roughly 85% percent more of my coworkers’ secrets.” —Andi

CHEESE PÂTÉ by Margaret Yardley Potter (At Home on the Range)

1⁄4 lb Roquefort cheese (or other blue cheese) 1 t onion, grated 2 pkgs cream cheese1⁄4 C dry sherry

1⁄2 t salt 1⁄4 t ground black pepper1/2 t cayenne1 T Hungarian paprika+ chives

1. Use a round-bottomed bowl and with a silver fork crumble and cream well-aged Roquefort cheese until not a lump remains.

2. Mix in scraped onion. Add cream cheese, and blend well before thinning with dry sherry.

3. Season with salt, black pepper, cayenne, and paprika.

4. Mix all thoroughly. Leave it overnight in the refrigerator.

“I want to be covered in this cheese pâté and forced to eat my way out.” —Kent

SMOKY NAPA CABBAGE STIR-FRYby Naomi Duguid (Lucky Peach 5)

3/4 lb Napa cabbage (preferably young) 1 T oyster sauce 2 T shallot oil1/8 t ground turmeric

2 dried red chilies 1 medium shallot, minced1 t ginger, minced 1/4 t salt, or to taste

1. Place a wide shallow bowl near the stove.2. Cut the Napa cabbage crosswise into 1/4” slic-

es, then chop to make bite-sized pieces. You should have 4 cups loosely packed. Swish in a bowl of cold water to wash thoroughly, then drain and set aside.

3. Place 1/2 cup hot water in a small bowl, add the oyster sauce, and stir to mix well. Heat a medium or large wok over high heat. Add the oil, then lower the heat to medium-high. Stir in the turmeric, then add the chilies, shallot, and ginger. Stir-fry until the shallots are starting to soften, about 30 seconds

4. Raise the heat back to high, toss in the cab-bage and salt, and stir-fry, tossing and press-ing the cabbage against the hot sides of the wok until wilted and softened, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the oyster sauce mixture. Bring to a boil and stir until the greens finish cooking, about 15 seconds. Scoop into a wide shallow bowl. Serve hot or at room temperature.

LP“This was the most excited I’ve ever been about cabbage. When I got bite of pepper, it exploded in my mouth with flavorful spice. Then, I was even more excited about cabbage.” —Kent

FRIED SHALLOTS & SHALLOT OIL

1. Place a wide heavy skillet or a large stable wok over medium-high heat and add the oil. Toss in 1 shallot slice. As the oil heats, the shallot will rise to the surface, sizzling lightly. When it’s reached the surface, add the re-maining sliced shallots carefully so you don’t splash yourself with the oil, and lower the heat to medium. (The shallots may seem crowded, but don’t worry, they’ll shrink as they cook.) Stir gently and frequently with a long-handled wooden spoon or a spider. The shallots will bubble as they give off their water into the oil. If they start to brown early (in the first 5 min-utes) lower the heat a little more. After about 10 minutes, they will start to turn golden. Con-tinue to cook, stirring occasionally to prevent them from sticking to the pot or to each other, until they have turned golden brown, another 3 minutes or so.

2. Line a plate with paper towels. Use tongs or a spider to lift a clump of fried shallots out of the oil, pausing for a moment to shake off extra oil into the pan, then place on the paper towels. Turn off the heat and transfer the re-maining shallots. Blot the shallots gently with another paper towel. Separate any clumps and toss them a little, then let them air out for 5 to 10 minutes so they crisp up and cool.

3. Transfer the shallots to a clean, dry, wide-mouthed glass jar. Once they have completely cooled, seal tightly. Transfer the frying oil to a clean, dry glass jar, leaving the very last of it in the pan with any shallot debris. Once the clear oil has cooled completely, cover tightly, and store in a cool place away from light.

2 C Asian or European shallots, thinly sliced 1 C peanut oil

LP

BACON VINAIGRETTEby Anthony Myint (Mission Street Food)

1/4 C bacon grease1/4 C neutral-tasting oil1/4 C extra virgin olive oil

1/4 C sherry vinegar or apple cider vinegar1 T dijon mustard+ salt and pepper to taste

1. Whisk or blend all the ingredients together to form an emulsion.

2. Dress whatever salad greens you have on hand. Bacon vinaigrette goes nicely with mixed chicories, sliced pear, goat cheese, and pumpkin seeds.

MSF“Greens are so much better when covered in bacon vinaigrette.” —Chelsea

Chop long beans into half-inch lengths and braise them with onions, tomatoes, and thyme until squeaky tender. (We added garlic, too.)

LONG BEANS by Jonathan Kauffman (Lucky Peach 5)

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CHINESE BROCCOLI WITH GARLIC & CHORIZO

Gai lan loves garlic and finely cubed Spanish chorizo. Then again, what greens don’t?

“Well, these beans started off long. Now I guess they’re short pieces of formerly long beans.” —Rachel

“CHORIZO!” —Miranda

CORN WITH MISO BUTTER AND BACON by Peter Meehan (Lucky Peach 1)

A recipe in haikus

I.Render the bacon.Add the corn. Jump and sizzleAs gold turns to brown.

II. Miso and butterJoin’d in equal proportionsPlop! Into the pan.

III.Splash stock, then toss. Glaze.Crack slow-poached egg to crown likeHokkaido sunset.

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“You’ll want to have a serving spoon handy. Better for shoveling large amounts of corn in your mouth.” —Chelsea

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3 1/2 C cornmeal1 3/4 C flour1 3/4 T baking powder2 1/2 t salt1 3/8 C sugar

2 1/4 C milk5 eggs10 1/2 oz melted butter, plus more for griddling

1. Butter a 9” x 12” pan, and line it with a piece of parchment paper.

2. Whisk the sugar, milk, butter, and eggs to-gether.

3. Mix the dry components in a separate mixing bowl and make a well in the center.

4. Pour the wet components into the well. Mix as little as needed to fully incorporate.

5. Fill the pan and bake at 425° F for 35 min-utes. If it browns too quickly, cover with foil.

6. Rotate once. It’s done when an inserted toothpick comes out completely clean.

7. Allow to cool before portioning. Fry slices in a nonstick pan with some butter.

(GRIDDLED) CORNBREAD by Anthony Myint (Mission Street Food)

MSF

CORNBREAD STUFFING by Rachel Khong

Skip step 7.

Let Anthony’s cornbread get stale for a day or two, then cut into cubes. Cut a pound of bacon into batons, fry until crispy. Cook one onion (chopped) and a bunch of celery (sliced into U’s) in the bacon fat, followed by 4 or 5 cloves of chopped garlic and some thyme. Add the cornbread cubes. Moisten with chicken stock (and/or ham-hock stock leftover from rillettes). (If your cornbread is stale and thirsty, this might mean 4 or more cups of stock.) Beat four eggs with 1/2 a cup of cream to uniform yellowness and add that to the mess, too. Salt to taste. (And vinegar to taste.). Mix in a cup of toasted, chopped pecans. Bake in a shallow pan at 400° F for about 30 minutes, until the egg has set and the jutting cornbread is your desired level of toastedness.

“The stuff dreams are made of.” —Sunra

3 bnchs scallions1/2 C aïoli or mayonnaise2 C sour cream

+ charcoal+ smoked salt+ black pepper

CHARRED-SCALLION SOUR CREAM & GARLIC CONFIT

by Anthony Myint (Mission Street Food)

We put the charred-scallion sour cream on top of potatoes that we roasted in duck fat, then confited garlic on top of that.

1. Light a charcoal grill. At MSF, we improvised a grill using a wok or hotel pan and a grate from a home BBQ grill. This works great, if you’ve got proper ventilation.

2. Clean the scallions and cut off the bottoms. 3. Coat the scallions generously with olive oil

and salt, and place them on a note grill.

4. Grill the scallions until they’re pretty black, but not actually catching on fire.

5. Mince the charred scallions.6. Mix with the aioli and sour cream. Add

smoked salt and black pepper to taste.

MSF“When selecting your seat this Thanksgiving, choose wisely: sit in front of the potatoes.” —Chelsea

GARLIC CONFIT

1 lb whole peeled garlic cloves+ salt

+ olive oil

1. Salt and place garlic cloves in enough oil to mostly cover. Simmer over low heat.

2. Once the cloves are soft and squishy, cool them and transfer to the fridge.

Garlic confit will keep indefinitely if the garlic is fully submerged in oil. Garlic oil is great for confiting cherry tomatoes, or sautéing vegetables.

MSF

1. Cook the slabs of country ham over medium heat in a cast-iron skillet. You’re just looking to warm it through and brown it at the edges. Find ham that has some fat on it, or you’re wasting your time and you should probably just make this with bacon.

2. Once the ham is warmed through and the pan is good and greasy with ham fat, remove the ham to a platter. Turn the heat up to high. Add a couple spoonfuls of brown sugar and what’s left of your morning coffee.

3. Cook it down, stirring all the while, until the coffee has more or less disappeared. Et voilà! Red-eye gravy. Pour it over biscuits. If you find you don’t have enough gravy, you probably need more ham, too, so get back to the stove and make another batch of both.

LP

RED-EYE GRAVY by David Chang (Lucky Peach 1)

2 thick slices of American country ham1/2 C brewed coffee, or, more precisely, whatever’s left in your cup

2 t brown sugar1 recipe biscuits

“I spilled that gravy all over myself. Now my jacket smells like it and also my room. Cool, right?” —Sam

1. Preheat oven to 400° F2. Have your butter grated and ready to go (the

easiest way to do this is in the food proces-sor). Measure out two cups of cream and re-frigerate. Keep the grated butter in a contain-er in the freezer while you mix together the flour, salt, sugar, baking powder. Dig a hole in the middle.

3. Scoop your grated butter in the well. Mix it all together so you have these cold, floury pieces of butter.

4. Add the cream gradually, working with your

free hand to mix. I can’t tell you exactly how much cream you’ll need. Just add enough to form a not-too-wet, not-too-dry dough (it shouldn’t be sticky; it also shouldn’t crumble to pieces).

5. On a floured surface, roll the dough out to 3/4” thickness and punch biscuits out with a glass. Brush the tops with cream, then bake them on a parchment-paper or Silpat-lined cookie sheet for about 15 or 17 minutes, until they’re golden and smell ridiculous.

BISCUITSby Rachel Khong

3 C all-purpose flour3 t kosher salt1/2 C sugar2 t baking powder

2 sticks butter, frozen, then grated (easiest in a food processor)1.5 to 2 C cream, cold

“I’m going to get smacked with a hairbrush for saying this, but these biscuits are even better than my Southern grandmother’s. Trust me. I’m from South Carolina.” —Alyson

HAM HOCK RILLETTE by Anthony Myint (Mission Street Food)

5 lbs meaty ham hocks3 qts chicken stock, pork stock, dashi, or water

2 C bacon fat or pork fat+ salt, sherry vinegar, mustard, spices, fresh herbs, and/or garlic to taste

1. Gently simmer the ham hocks in chicken stock, pork stock, dashi, or water.

2. After about 4 hours, the meat should be very tender. (The edges of ham hocks can become dried out and tough from the smoking pro-cess or from not being fully submerged in liq-uid. Move the ham hocks around periodically as they simmer, and discard any parts that may be too tough to rillette.)

3. Cool the entire pot until you can handle the hocks. Drain and reserve the stock.

4. At the end, you’ll have plenty of stock left for cooking greens, or just for sipping. (NOTE: or for making stuffing!)

5. Pick the ham hocks apart by hand. 6. Separate the meat from the skins and soft col-

lagen. Reserve both. (Discard any tough skin, bones, and weird gristle.)

7. Blend the skins with just enough stock to get the mix going, creating a gelatin purée.

8. Strain the purée through a fine sieve, using a ladle or spoon to push it through.

9. Combine the meat, and some of the purée, fat, vinegar, and spices in a stand mixer.

10. Mix using the medium-low setting and the paddle attachment of your mixer.

11. For best results, mix the rillette at the tem-perature it will be served. The ratio of fat-to-meat-to-gelatin will vary, depending on how you prioritize richness (fat), unctuousness (gelatin), and moisture (stock). Taste as you mix; add the salt, vinegar, mustard, and your spices, herbs, or garlic until you reach the de-sired balance.

LP“:)” —Eli

CHINESE TURKEY by Momofuku Ssäm Bar (Lucky Peach 5)

LP

2 4-lb ducks2 C (one 16-ounce container) maltose* 1/2 C soy sauce

1 recipe duck sausage+ salt*you can find maltose at most Asian supermarkets

1. Start by butchering the ducks. Remove the wings tips by cutting through the wing at the elbow; reserve for stock or to make fancy-ass Buffalo wings. Then remove the legs. Using kitchen shears, cut off the backbone where it meets the rib cage. (For meat wonks at home, the resulting cut of duck is called the crown. You’re welcome.) Save the tail end of the backbone for stock, or just throw it at somebody. Bone out the duck legs and put them in the freezer to chill while you gather all the sausage ingredients.

2. Make the sausage: combine all sausage in-gredients in a food processor and purée until smooth and uniform. Chill until ready to use.

3. Bring a large stockpot of water to a boil and salt it heavily. Fill a mixing bowl large enough

to hold a duck with ice and water. Blanch each duck three times. That means you dip the duck in the pot for 10 seconds, then pull it out and plunge it into the ice bath until it’s cool. Then you do it two times more. (Fans of the Russian & Turkish Bathhouse on 10th Street in New York: This is the culinary equiv-alent of running back and forth between the Russian room and the Ice Cold Pool.) This process helps separate the skin from the breast meat.

4. Working from the neck hole and the bot-tom of the breast just above the open cav-ity, wiggle your fingers gently under the skin over the breast to separate it from the flesh. Make one loose skin pocket on each side of the breastbone. Use a pastry bag to pipe

DUCK SAUSAGE 1 lb duck leg meat (3 to 4 duck legs)1/2 C duck fat, cold 3/4 C pork fat back, diced, cold3/4 t ground black pepper1/4 t ground cinnamon 1/4 t ground star anise

1 T minced garlic 1/2 C sake, cold1 T salt 1 T nonfat milk powder 1 T pink salt (aka curing salt; available on Amazon.com)

as much duck sausage as will fit into each pocket without bursting it. This gets easier as time goes on.

5. Arrange your duck crowns on a cooling rack set over a baking sheet (you’re about to make a sticky mess). Combine the maltose and soy sauce in a small saucepan and warm over low heat until it’s loose and runny. Use a brush to glaze each of the ducks and let them sit for 15 or so minutes, until the glaze has cooled on the skin. Repeat, giving them a second slicking of the sweet. While that’s settling in, clear out some space in your fridge.

6. Park the rack of ducks in the fridge. Leave uncovered, free as birds. Let them sit there

for two to five days. This will slowly dry out the skin, making for excellent, crisp roasted duck. Do not cheat.

7. Heat the oven to 475° F. Put the stuffed duck on a roasting rack. Bake for 50 minutes, until the skin is more ebony than mahogany. Re-peat for the second duck. This duck is just as good room-temperature as it is warm, so don’t fret about that. (And this duck is just as good out of the oven as it is off the rotisserie grill, so don’t fret about that either.)

8. Let the birds rest for 10 minutes before carv-ing. Cut the sausage-stuffed breasts off the rib cage, then cut them into thin slices. Serve with rice, lettuce, herbs or watercress (or both), and hoisin sauce.

LP

“Cook this for anyone you want to watch cry tears of joy.” —Andi

“Cook this duck, but be brave. Best served with holiday-appropriate gladiator gear to fight over the last bits and pieces.” —Juliana

“No one will ever eat those dumb regular turkeys again.” —Miranda

THANKSGIVING PUMPKIN PIE by Margaret Yardley Potter (At Home On The Range)

1. Preheat oven to 450° F.2. Mix pumpkin, light brown sugar, cinnamon,

ginger, nutmeg, salt, and grated orange rind. 3. Beat in eggs, cream, and sherry. Pour this into

an unbaked pie shell first brushed with egg white and bake it for 15 minutes. Lower the temperature to 350° F. and bake for another 30 minutes or until the filling has set.

4. Serve it warm and if it is being reheated—it keeps well for a day—dribble 1 tablespoon of melted butter over the surface before putting it in the oven. Pass the sherry, too.

1 can pumpkin3/4 C light brown sugar1 t cinnamon1/2 t ground ginger1/8 t nutmeg

1/2 t salt1 T grated orange rind3 eggs2 C cream1 t sherry

“Great for breakfast, and then lunch, and then dinner, and then breakfast again.” —Chelsea

PIE CRUST by Margaret Yardley Potter (At Home On The Range)

1⁄2 C butter, cut in bits (NOTE: my trick is grating it), very cold1 C lard (or another stick of butter), very cold

3 C flour1 t salt+ ice water

1. Sift flour with the salt. 2. Cut the lard into the flour with a pastry cutter

or two knives until the whole is like fine meal3. Add just enough ice water to hold the flour

and lard together, mixing quickly with a fork, and pushing the damp sections to one side before moistening the dry.

4. Roll lightly about 3⁄4-inch thick on a floured

board and scatter one third of the cold bits of butter over the surface. Fold in thirds, first the sides and then the ends and roll. Give the dough a quarter turn and repeat with the but-ter, folding and rolling. Do this once more, al-ways rolling away from you as much as pos-sible. Wrap in wax paper, and refrigerate until ready to use.

“Fuck! So good.” —Andi

BURNT MISO BUTTERSCOTCH TOPPING by Christina Tosi (Lucky Peach 2)

1 C shiro miso 3/4 C mirin 3/4 C (packed) brown sugar

1 t sherry vinegar 12 T softened butter

1. Heat the oven to 400° F. Spread the miso out in an even layer, about 1/4” thick, on a baking sheet lined with a Silpat.

2. Bake for half an hour, or until the miso is well browned and quite a bit burnt around the edges. Remove it from the oven, let it cool slightly, and scrape it into a blender.

3. Add the remaining ingredients to the miso and blend until smooth. Store in the fridge, and nuke or warm on the stove (if you have the patience) before serving. Miso butter-scotch will keep for weeks, I think, but it’s never lasted that long in my fridge.

LP