The Relationship Principles of Jesus Mount Olivet Baptist Church Adolphus C. Lacey, Senior Pastor 1.

The Relationship PrinciplesThe Relationship Principles of Jesus of Jesus

Mount Olivet Baptist ChurchAdolphus C. Lacey, Senior Pastor

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Relationship Principle #2Love As Jesus Loves You

Last Week’s Memory Verse

John 13:34

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, o

you must love one another."

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Relationship Principle #3Communicate from the heart

Memory Verse

Matthew 12:34

“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”

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I. Communication Isn’t EasyI. Communication Isn’t Easy

Communication is defined as “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.”

Conversely, one could define communication as “a process by which information is confused by individuals through a conflicting system of emotions, behaviors, backgrounds, and desires.

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All relationships are fueled by communication.

Communication is not easy; “No one can tame the tongue” – James 3:8

We will look at three lessons that grow out of the teaching and example of Jesus:1. The foundation of communication is

trust; 2. Communication is always from the heart;

and3. Communication that makes an impact is

honest.

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Your words can heal a relationship, heal someone’s faith, heal a broken heart, heal a shattered hope.

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II. The Foundation Is TrustII. The Foundation Is Trust

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).

Say what you mean and mean what you say!

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Communication experts say that the words we speak to others can actually produce six distinct messages:

1. What you mean to say2. What you actually say3. What the other person hears4. What the other person thinks he/she hears5. What the other person says about what you

said6. What you think the other person said about

what you said.

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Eroding Trust

1.Lies

2.Flattery

3.Broken Promises

4.Silence

9II. The Foundation Is TrustII. The Foundation Is Trust


What if trust is no longer there? How do you rebuild trust?

Rebuilding trust always takes a combination of truth plus time.

As you are building or rebuilding trust, remember this simple biblical truth: “Kind words are good medicine” (Proverbs 15:4). The power of a kind word at the right moment is immeasurable!

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III. The Connection Between III. The Connection Between Heart and MouthHeart and Mouth

Jesus speaks of a direct link between the mouth and the heart.

The connection between the mouth and the heart is a two-waytwo-way connection.

The anger in our hearts spills out in biting words that magnify anger inside and around our souls.

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How do we break the pattern?

1.Since words are an overflow of the heart, start taking your heart more seriously.

2.Since our souls are harmed by what we say, start taking your words more seriously.

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Here are a few strategies:

Take five…or ten minutes to get away and let your anger cool down.Pray for the other person.Use owning statements instead of blaming statements – don’t blame the other person for your feelings; own them yourself.Watch the tone and the volume of your words.Focus on the solution, not the problem.Learn to accept what cannot be changed.

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IV. A New Kind of HonestyIV. A New Kind of Honesty

Most of us value honesty; we want honesty to be a part of our lives and relationships.

Yet when it comes right down to it, we often find it easier to be dishonest.

It is easier to be nice than to be honest.

But if we want our relationships to grow, honesty is non-negotiable.

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IV. A New Kind of HonestyIV. A New Kind of Honesty

The truth sometimes hurts, but it does not have to maim, kill, or destroy. – Ephesians 4:29

Honesty sometimes brings the bitter pain of rejection.

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V. God Is in the ConversationV. God Is in the Conversation

One of the most vital aspects of your communication with people is prayer.

More important than the way you talk to someone is the way you talk to God about someone.

Jesus taught us to pray as a conversation.

In Jesus’ example and teaching, three words mark the tone of our conversation with God: persistence, confidence, and reverence.

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PersistenceJesus tells a number of parables about persistence in which He reminds His followers that “they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1; Luke 11:5-13).God does not have to be coaxed or pressured into helping.Pray until one of two things happens: God changes the situation, or God changes you.

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ConfidenceJesus taught that part of conversation in prayer is making confident requests of God (see Matthew 7:7).Pray with the expectation that something will happen – or why bother pray at all?

ReverencePrayer is a relationship. Reverence in prayer is not about methods and forms – it is a relationship.For Jesus, conversation with His Father was a part of the fabric of His life.

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VI. How To Be Truly HeardVI. How To Be Truly Heard

Jesus showed us how to make an impact with your words.

Like Jesus, we can strengthen our communication in three ways: 1. giving a gentle touch,

2. asking the right question, and

3. painting pictures with words.

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Jesus Touched Those He Healed

Jesus often touched those He healed.

There is power in the human touch.

Jesus had the right touch, because He truly cared about everyone He met.

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Jesus Used Questions to Challenge

Jesus often used questions to challenge someone’s thinking and to set his or her life in a different direction.

Questions have the ability to challenge and to break down barriers.

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Jesus Used Pictures to Communicate New Truth

The greatest example of Jesus’ use of pictures to communicate is seen in His parables.

When you feel you are not being heard, instead of giving up quickly in frustration, try a different way of getting your point across.

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VII. Troubleshooting CommunicationVII. Troubleshooting Communication

When Criticized, Jesus Gave a Clear, Confident Response

See John 8:12-14. What are you prone to do when you face the attack of criticism? Attack back?

Jesus chose to tell the truth.

Give a clear, confident response instead of reacting defensively.

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When Honestly Doubted, Jesus Offered Proof

See John 20:26-29 – What should you do when someone doubts your word?

Whenever you are doubted, you can choose to focus on yourself or on the other person’s need.

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When Ridiculed, Jesus Was Silent

See Isaiah 53:7 – Some comments do not deserve an answer. It is better to just let it go.

The Bible informs us that an answer to that brand of criticism will do more harm than good. – Proverbs 9:7-8.

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When Backed into A Corner, Jesus Turned on the Light

Jesus’ opponents would ask questions designed to stop Him. Jesus did not walk away from those situations. Nor did He walk into the trap.

Instead, He turned the light of truth on the situation by offering a different perspective.

See Matthew 22:19-22.

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When Rejected, Jesus Went Elsewhere

Jesus teaches us what to do when you or your words are rejected.

We often do the wrong thing and respond by chasing even harder after the person who has rejected us.

See Matthew 10:14. When people asked Jesus to leave, He left because He knew their hearts were hard.

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Be Courageous

It takes courage to communicate.

As Solomon declared, “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21a).

Through the words you speak, God has given you more power to build faith, hope, and love into others’ lives than you can possibly imagine!

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The Relationship Principles of Jesus Mount Olivet Baptist Church Adolphus C. Lacey, Senior Pastor 1.

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