Tapping Into the Heart-Mind Connection [Episode 5] Wired for Success

~ Wired for Success TV ~Mastering the 7 Areas of Life

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Presented by

Melanie Gabriel & Beryl Thomas

[Episode 5]

Tapping into the Heart-Mind Connection

http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv/

Tapping into the Heart-Mind Connection [Episode 5]- Wired for Success

Beryl: Hello and welcome to another episode of http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv. So today, we have an amazing lady called Ann Rennie. She is a women’s coach and business mentor with a very special difference. And Ann is joining us at Wired for Success today because she holds some of the beliefs to ourselves that we are all innately wired for success. It’s just that life gets in the way and stops us from being who we truly are.

If you want to find out more about what we’re doing at Wired for Success then go along to our introductory blog. Sign up there. You’ll find out lots of more juicy information there.

So back to Ann, Ann has trained extensively as a coach. She is a master NLP practitioner. She is trained in emotional freedom techniques and also, in other many other stress management techniques. Ann helps her clients in a really powerful way create this link between the heart and the mind in order to create the lasting change in people’s lives to create this success that is really embedded in their DNA and she realizes that.

So today, Ann is going to share with us how she came to discover the power of the heart and mind connection. She’s going to share with Melanie and myself, my co-presenter, how we can tap into all of our – for all of us to tap into our heart-mind connection.

So welcome Ann and thank you for joining us.

Ann: It’s my great pleasure. And good morning Beryl and good morning Melanie.

Melanie: Good morning, Ann.

Beryl: OK ladies, really lovely to be together. So Ann, I would like start by asking you to dive straight in here and ask you how you came to be at this point in your life where you recognize that there’s this great link between heart and mind and we need to tap into it. We need to make that

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connection and how you came to work with women. Where did your passion come from, Ann?

Ann: Oh gosh, Beryl. Where do I begin? It came from my own experience. It came from my own experience as a woman growing up. And if anybody is wondering the accent is a little fast, the Birmingham and all other parts and now London. And I grew up in a community and at a time where women weren’t really valued in as for their contribution to the workplace, for their contribution in education. So I didn’t really have any great role models around me.

So I began looking around to see what was possible for women. I then moved in to corporate life after university. And again, there didn’t seem to be a lot of role models in there. So I did what a lot of women my age and I’m a woman of a certain age and did, I copied all the men around me.

So I have to admit here and now, Beryl and Melanie, I am recovering alpha female. I did all that stuff that a lot of women feel is the only way to be successful. And I am stamped around and did all that and lived completely in my head. And even then I knew there was something missing and felt – I felt at times like I was kind of rusting from the inside out but I didn’t know what it was. I knew I was disconnected from an aspect of myself. But outwardly, I was getting a lot of success. What I was doing was really working. I was – you bet I was getting the results. You bet I was going up that ladder. And that seemed to be what was expected of me. And I looked around and it seemed pretty good.

So outwardly successful but inwardly, there’s sense of a gap. Then there was a fairly significant life event for me and my husband died very suddenly. And part of the process of going through that, that grieving was realizing I didn’t actually have an identity as me. I was playing lots of roles. I was keeping all the plates spinning but I really didn’t know who I was. Who was Ann? And probably was the beginning of the search for me. And that’s how it began.

It began in me searching for me and learning a lot of techniques, a lot of tools which combined to allow me to access that part of me that I had been missing and suddenly realized that my intuition, my emotional intelligence, all of the aspects of me added to my success and created a much stronger,




much more authentic. And I know the word authentic is over used these days but that really is how it felt. I felt I was actually showing up as me.

The passion for sharing it began very shortly afterwards because I could see other women around me who were where I had been. And I didn’t want them to have to go through what I went through in order to access that. So I started integrating within my coaching, within my mentoring some of the insights that I had learned and found that particularly for women although not exclusively women, men really can and benefit from accessing this too. These women were able to – what’s the best way to explain it, were able to just be themselves I guess.

Beryl: It sounds like for some of them, perhaps like you, maybe for the first time ever, it must have been quite an awakening for want of a better word.

Ann: Yeah, awakening is a fantastic word. It’s a fantastic word because that is exactly how it was because it wasn’t that I was learning something new. I was connecting with something that had always been there. That’s what was going on. The other thing working with women who are moms and business owners is that mom at home is very much in her feminine energy, is very much in her nurturing. Then mom at work suddenly has to behave differently. So, that’s a huge conflict for women and a pressure that has been put on women in the workplace.

And to which at some extent, we have to stand up as women and to own responsibility for it because we bought into it too. And part of what I’m doing in working with women is saying, we don’t have to buy into it anymore. Actually, by changing the way we operate, we can change the organizations that we work in.

And the reality is when you look at the marketplace and you look at organizations now, increasingly, emotional intelligence is being discussed, accessing all aspects of intuition or right and left brain is becoming more valued. And for me, that’s a very exciting time to be working with women because very quickly, when they tap into and perhaps what I should say at this point, in some instance in working with my clients, we’re literally tapping using emotional freedom technique. We are literally tapping our way to success.




So, that’s – I could go on forever, Beryl and Melanie, so do jump in at any point. I just get so excited in sharing this stuff.

Beryl: Sorry, Melanie. Go on.

Melanie: Now, you’ve brought up the emotional freedom technique words, could you for those who have probably only briefly heard about the emotional technique or heard about that tapping thing, could you explain it in the context of what you’re doing because a lot of people so misunderstand what it’s about?

Ann: Yup. I think the first thing to know is the T stands for technique not therapy. So it is a technique. It is a tool to be used, to be integrated into daily life. It isn’t something to use because you’ve got a problem. I’ve got an issue. You can actually use tapping as a way of breaking through some of those old limiting beliefs and then installing more empowering, more positive beliefs. And it is one of the key tools that I use in this establishing this heart-mind connection because when you’ve lived in your head a long time, actually breaking out of there can be a scary thing particularly if it’s been – you’ve got a lot of success staying in your head.

So emotional freedom technique itself, a quick summary, an acupuncture without needles is probably the best way to describe it.

Beryl: Nice.

Ann: It’s a great combination of what is in reality cutting edge neuro-scientific research, quantum physics research about how our brains, how our bodies work. And a massive literature and a massive practice from the oldest civilizations in the world, from a lot of Eastern traditions who have been talking about meridians, who have been talking about energy flow. And now, we have the scientific evidence that what they intuitively were teaching and what was the basis of much of their philosophy and medicine is scientific fact.

Beryl: And that’s very exciting, isn’t it, to have that scientific. I think I’ve seen some photos of that, some before and after shots of the brain. Is that what you’re referring to?




Ann: Absolutely. I mean there is evidence from MRI scans about what’s actually going on while you’re tapping and showing that the parts of the brain that are activated and how those neuro pathways are being changed. And there is a lot of – you’ll see some fantastic images of – particularly around the heart, how the electromagnetic field extends out from the body. So if anybody who is really driving here, it’s the heart.

And in the research, it’s showing that the exchange of information is from the heart to the brain. So our heart really does rule our head. It’s just perhaps a very elegant structure that we create particularly in our Western traditions around logic and around science that have perhaps masked that and dampen that for us.

So, the reconnection, the awakening is the term you use there, Beryl. And through tapping is a hugely powerful way of integrating all aspects of who we are and using that on a daily basis to create the connection to success. Does that give you a feel for it?

Melanie: Yes. And I mean it would be correct for me to say, it’s a really powerful way of breaking through those – sometimes people feel as though they’re under a spell and they can’t break out of a preprogram that they have. This is really a powerful way of breaking out of that. And any kind of mindset change. This is a really good way to facilitate that.

Ann: Yeah. I think the power for me, and I have to say, I was hugely skeptical originally because I’m with of this mindset, it’s too simple. It’s too simple. It can’t possibly work. It’s not nearly complex enough. But the reality is, it is still going to be the essence of just some very simple, literally a 2-minute tapping routine that allows you – it creates this connection with the unconscious, this connection with the heart that allows this stuff to really be shown up as just thoughts. A lot of this, it’s just thoughts and we’re the thinker. It’s just the thoughts.

And the other barrier coming off from being stress, Melanie, because I work with people particularly people who are in corporate or have just come out of corporate, they have lived in a very stressful environment and their response to stress has been to stay there. Stay in the stress. It gives me – people also, “But I’ve got that edge. I’ve got that adrenaline rush.” and all of that. So they’ve kind of normalized within the stress response.




So sometimes part of what I have to do is use tapping, breathing techniques, a lot of other combination to break through some of the stress just to bring them down to a point where they begin to notice. And I’m a great believer in the power of simply noticing because we’re intelligent. We’re – just simply noticing that I hold this belief about myself can be enough to begin that process.

Melanie: Exactly, exactly. And what are the other processes for stress management that you use in addition to the tapping, Ann?

Ann: Yeah. Mainly breathing-related because we all do it and most people can quickly get into that if I adjust my pattern of breathing, and really, that’s all it is. We’re just slowing down the breath. We’re focusing our attention on the breath. We’re focusing our attention away from the head, away from the chest down to the heart and breathing as if we’re breathing through the heart, so breathing in and out.

Now, the beauty of that is it’s a great convincer because within five to six breaths typically, you’ll notice a shift. You’ll notice something is happening physically that’s undeniable for you. And by continuing practicing that, you’ll notice – you know that brain fork when you’re in stress, you can’t make a decision. It’s all that and that little chattery voice in your head is going – it becomes quieter. And you create the space for yourself.

And the wonderful thing about all of the techniques that I use and this is absolutely key to me is it’s all about transferring the skills and knowledge to the person that I’m supporting at that time because what I want people to have is a set of skills, a set of tools and techniques that they can then use for themselves every single day of their life.

So, this is a fight handing over what I’ve learned to enable people to support themselves and their families as well.

Melanie: I was going to say, one of the nice things about these skills is that they are so quick. They are quick to learn and they’re quick to create visual results.

Ann: Yes. Yup. That’s one of the things that makes me smile when I’m working is – because often when someone will come for coaching, they will go, “How many sessions will it be?” And they have an expectation because




a lot of – we see a lot of coaching, 12-week, 90-day kind of coaching programs. By combining coaching and tapping, you’re accelerating the process of change.

Of course, as with all coaching, the motivation, the commitment, and compliance to change are the key determinants. I’m the guide. I’m sort of the tour guide to their walking along the road, sign posting things. If they chose not to take that journey then the change is not going to happen. But when you have someone who is motivated to change, who’s committed to change, and open and honest with their feedback and their sharing, integrating the tapping within it really finds within one session within a few sessions that you’re getting to often very deep stuff.

And that can surprise clients that you’re diving into stuff which for them is very deep, real core issues stuff here which of course, where the real and sustainable change happens because if we’re just working on the surface level of behaviors, nothing is really changing. We are literally just rearranging the [0:16:52] [indiscernible] in the Titanic but it’s when we dive down to what’s really going on here because much of our behavior has a nice elegant way of playing out some of the limiting beliefs that are buried beneath the surface.

Beryl: So Ann, can I just come in there?

Ann: Yeah.

Beryl: So are you saying, let me see if I got this clear, are you saying that the tapping works on the meridians, right?

Ann: Yes.

Beryl: So, our emotional stuff is encoded within those meridians somehow.

Ann: It’s not so much coded, Beryl. But when we don’t process it, when we don’t deal with them in the moment, it creates a disrupt – there’s a disruption. It’s almost like a blockage is there. So it’s an extraction rather than it’s coded. So removal is – we are literally sweeping it away.

Beryl: OK.




Ann: So, in creating the energy flow through tapping, we’re clearing up through. And the other thing to remember with some of these is it can manifest itself in physical symptoms as well.

Beryl: OK. I was coming to that, yeah.

Ann: I’ve been working with someone and I have to say here, I am not a medical practitioner. EFT is not a substitute for medical advice or working with medical professional. But I have had anecdotal evidence of little niggles. That little pain on my shoulder shifted or I’m not getting headaches the way that I used to because your body will try to get your attention. Your body is an extreme – is programmed to self-heal and will get your attention. And I’m a huge advocate of self-care and particularly with women. It’s a topic we could probably have an entire talk around self-care.

And for me, that’s what this is all about. It’s about putting in place tools, techniques that you can then deploy for your self-care which is why I am encouraging a lot of tapping between sessions. Ten minutes to learn it, two minutes to do it, to me seems a good investment of anybody’s time. Did that answer your question, Beryl?

Beryl: Yes, indeed because what I was thinking was people are very familiar with acupuncture, working on the meridians for physical ailments.

Ann: Yeah.

Beryl: But of course, those physical ailments may of course, come from the emotional stuff which is what you’re addressing here.

Ann: Yeah. The other thing as well is we kind of drive a coach and horses through this. I’m hardwired to be that way. I can’t do anything about it. And actually, it’s a pattern of thinking.

Beryl: Yeah.

Ann: And it can be changed because you created it. If anything, the fact that you have this going on shows just how powerful you are because you created this to begin with for whatever reason.




Beryl: And even when – we sometimes hear don’t we about people talking about, “Oh well, there’s a lot of history of depression in my family.” They think this is genetic and so that can’t be changed. They’re stuck with it. Do you want to say anything about that?

Ann: Absolutely because – well, you work with people and they will kind of – there’s can’t even a possibility that it can be – they can have that because there is – and you got, “Well, women in my family are or people like us …” All of this kind of – so not only do they have these limiting beliefs but they weren’t even theirs to begin with. They just feel they have to buy into them because that’s been in their family, in their community and so on. And it is that – for me, it is always about anything is possible.

Melanie: Yeah.

Ann: Anything is possible. You can make the choice to buy into it and carry on as you are. Absolutely. Or you can make the choice to change. Change your story because you’re living your story not their story.

Beryl: And do you find that clients are sometimes quite surprised at how after a tapping session, they can’t kind of quite find in their heads what the problem was that they’re doing that much of a shift? Do you want to say something about that?

Ann: Yeah. It’s quite funny you should say that. I’m just reminded of a phone call the morning after a session with a client and she said to me, “I just wanted to check. It’s gone.” Yeah. “It’s been there for 19 years.” Yeah. And she went, “And will it stay gone?” Yeah. And there was this – she had the undeniable experience. There was still this kind of lingering, “Hang on. This doesn’t fit with our paradigms how change works.” We’ve got all the, “You have to do this and you have to …” No! No, no, no, no, no. The change happens in an instant. What can take time is we’ve grown – we got habits and behaviors we’ve built up around the belief that might takes a little bit of time just to work through.

But again actually, once you make the decision to change, it’s been made. It’s been made. And you notice that difference. The other area as you say, Beryl, where people often come back and go, “This is strange,” is we may work with a memory. So the limiting belief maybe connected with a memory. And it’s often something in early childhood and we work on it. And




then they go, “How can we get there?” It’s there. And people would use language like it’s there but it’s really flat or it’s far away. And one client, he went, “It’s not the color anymore.” And there is this strange because of course, memory is a constructive process. Every time we recall the memory, we’re constructing the memory again. The memory does not exist except when we’re thinking of it.

So having broken that link and perhaps the other thing to just mention is it’s not necessary to know the why. We don’t need to go back to the, “Oh, when I was three and a half and sitting in my …”

Beryl: OK.

Ann: Often – because what’s interesting me is not where it started. It’s how come you’re still doing it? Because through adult eyes, we see the world in a different way. So it’s very exciting using tapping within coaching because within the coaching model and conversational coaching, we’re continually reframing. And by adding tapping into that, the power of that reframing is immense. And I think that that’s something which certainly took me unaware when I first …

Beryl: Just for a moment. Just explain reframing, Ann, for those that aren’t familiar with this kind of language.

Ann: Yeah. Reframing to me is I’m just taking another point of view. So I’m looking at an event or statement and I’m going, “How else could this be?”

Melanie: So you’re just rewriting the story you’ve been telling yourself.

Beryl: Different perspective?

Ann: Yeah, because we all see our world through cultures that we’ve built up over time which means when we scan our world, we’re looking for proof that that particular belief was true. Now someone else with a different set of beliefs will scan the same incident, the same one and come up with a completely different answer.

So in reframing, you’re simply putting some of the other options as to what may really be going on for that individual because we are coming from a place of, I love working with salespeople particularly women because




women have a really kind of skewed view of sales. So we talk about – one client was going, “Oh, I can’t do that because that would be pushy and I can’t be pushy because girls – we don’t …” And so, she was never making any phone calls. So not surprisingly, she wasn’t making any sales.

The reframe as we spoke that was – that for her was her kind of life was, “Hang on. This service that I have is incredibly valuable. Who am I not to make people aware of this? Who am I not to pick up the phone and just say, hey, have you heard about this and what I’m doing?” Because she was also then not attached – if a person said no, that was OK too. So she just goes to the next person.

Melanie: Sorry to interrupt. But this is a brilliant example of dropping from the head into the heart space in thinking about the problems.

Ann: Absolutely. And that’s the thing is the great thing about tapping and perhaps I should mention that tapping is not just the sort of physical tapping that you may have some people do. But it’s framed within a hugely positive statement of self-acceptance. So when we’re working on something that we want a clear eye, we begin by defining it. I mean really, really defining it, being really specific about what’s going on. And then we put it in a kind of box which is even though I have this problem or it happened or whatever, I completely love and accept myself anyway.

Now, one of the staggering things is how difficult it can be at the beginning of the process to say, “I love and accept myself.” And I have seen with some clients, it’s almost like they’ve been punched in the stomach just even the suggestion of saying it. That again is a huge shift. So again, by dropping into the heart, we show ourselves self-love first.

Now with clients, I may begin with just saying, “I’m OK or I’m open to the possibility that I might be able to love and accept myself one day.” And we work through that as we work through the core issues. So it’s framed within all these different layers of building up your self-care and reconnecting with your heart and showing yourself the same love and kindness that you probably showed to most of the people in your life but deny yourself.

Beryl: A bit of a woman thing that?




Ann: Oh yes. Yeah, because it’s our job to take care of the world. That’s what we do. And we’re all nurturing in different ways. And I think that’s why working with women in corporate who become disconnected from that nurturing aspect of themselves and haven’t had that opportunity within corporate to show that is so important to me because as women, we, I believe can contribute so much more if we allow ourselves to connect with that nurturing aspect of ourselves.

Beryl: OK. So Ann, given that we are all connected and if we change then those around us have to change.

Ann: Yes.

Beryl: How do the men start behaving when the women in their lives start to change?

Ann: It can vary. I’ve had quite fun discussions with some women around there’s kind of – something is different. There’s a kind of there’s something different about you in there. Women will tend to be a little bit more assertive which again, is it’s different. Now depending on your relationship before, that can result in that relationship blossoming and growing and going to another level.

If the relationship before you’ve gone through that change has had elements within it of how do I best describe this, if I use an example from our transactional analysis where we talk about victim rescuer and persecuted, the drama triangle. If the dynamics in your relationship have been he rescues you, and you’re no longer going to behave like a victim then it can be a little bit rocky for a while.

However, you’re using the same tools to keep yourself grounded, to keep yourself in your par to then have those conversations. And the thing about a rescuer is a rescuer is really kind of – somebody who wants to nurture or somebody who wants to take care of you but only knows how to do it in a very limited way. So they’re looking for somebody who wants to play the per me game so that they can be a superhero.

The relationship, I’ll be absolutely honest, the relationship may have come to its natural end and each party moves on and the woman is stronger to make that next step or the relationship may completely transform because




the man is released from having to play rescuer. It’s free to actually operate in a different way because you’re no longer playing that role of per me.

Melanie: So Ann, is this the same game that then gets played out in the corporate environment?

Ann: It can be. Gosh! Don’t – games in corporate environments, oh my word! The culture of the organization can be significant in there because as you shift in there, the culture of the organization will sometimes shift with you because your style of management inevitably shifts. And for me, I can say what that was. For me, I stopped being driven purely by task. So I was very much a task manager, hence, recovering alpha female. And I apologize unreservedly to everyone who worked with me during that period. But I hit my numbers. I hit the numbers. I hit the numbers. It didn’t matter what happened to people.

When I connected heart and mind, the thinking pattern was this, if I work with my people, if I develop support and nurture my people, the numbers will come. So the shift was actually to know what by getting the right people, trusting them, supporting them, developing them, being open and honest with them, in care – let’s use the word, in caring for them and actually viewing these people as whole people. They don’t stop being who they are when they step in the office. It became my belief that it was inevitable I would get the results.

Melanie: Yeah.

Ann: So, can you imagine the levels of stress that there were before not just within me but around everywhere I went? Oh my goodness. I must have been working around with a perpetual little black ring cloud over head. It’s horrible. But that’s the kind of shift. Does that make sense?

Melanie: Yeah.

Beryl: Very much.

Ann: Yeah. That’s my personal experience but also my observation of how other, not just women, women and men have shifted. Things that were important before ceased to be important and you home in on what’s the really significant aspect of what you’re doing.




Beryl: And you still get the success. You still get the sales. You still get the bottom line.

Ann: Yeah, because here’s the thing. It was always the people who will get me the numbers. It was always – without the people, nothing happens.

Beryl: Sure.

Ann: But if you spend all of your time managing tasks rather than understanding people, you miss that.

Melanie: Yeah.

Ann: You completely miss them. And that was something that shocked me when I began that process of – and don’t get me wrong. It was a bit scary to kind of start doing this in the workplace and make that transition. But the response of other people initially was a little bit OK. She’s gone a bit worry worm but we’ll go with this. We’ll see what’s happening.

With my team, the change happened very quickly because we sat and we had honest and frank – and I did that, “Please give me feedback but meant it for once.” And they gave me feedback and that was something that I had to listen to and integrate and go with. And that was hugely, hugely helpful. It was a great privilege to have them share that with me because if I hadn’t known all of that, I would have kept doing it.

Melanie: So, it was a huge transformation for you as well as the team.

Ann: Oh yeah. It’s – I look back at it and I think oh my goodness. Yeah, I have completely – I hate to use the word reinvent because that’s the gist that I’ve gone outside and I’ve gone, “Oh, I have a bit of that now. I have a bit of this and I have a bit of that.” I’ve actually reconnected with what was always there. So I when I show up, you might like me, you might not but this is who I am. And there is a little bit as well of just allowing yourself to be vulnerable and saying, “This is it.”

I also have found that I’ve stopped making comparisons. Oh, that’s another thing that would be great to do in that way you can – because there will always be somebody who is better at whatever it is and the whole




comparison thing is something we dive into. Oh why do we beat ourselves up when we do comparisons? Whereas now, I can see differences but I don’t need to compare. And I think that’s something where the heart-mind connection allows you to look at that in a very different way. In the mind, it’s always let’s get lists on where am I on the ranking and blah, blah, blah, blah. Whereas when you’re in the heart, you’re looking through a different set of cultures.

Beryl: But this starts very early on, doesn’t it? I can remember all that where you were out of 30 in the class as a child. I was always near the bottom in my Math and that stuck with me and the belief that I’m not very good at Math.

Ann: Absolutely.

Beryl: So, wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could not only work with the corporate but actually work with schools.

Melanie: Children.

Beryl: Yes, before these patterns set in.

Ann: Absolutely. I mean one of my great hopes is to take tapping into schools because I believe allowing our children to be able to self-manage, to be able to talk about how they’re feeling, they’re feeling a bit angry, they’re feeling a bit disappointed, whatever it is, and having tapping as a tool, I think we just create a completely different atmosphere in the classroom.

Beryl: And it is so simple, isn’t it? I have heard that a child could teach another child how to tap. It’s that simple.

Ann: Yeah. It is – I mean it’s really simple because I learned it really quickly and I’m not a kind of – I’m not a scientific technical blah, blah, blah person. I’m very much a, just show me and I’ll do that kind of thing. And even I was blown away by how simple it was. No, it was ten minutes to learn the points and two minutes each time you use it.

Beryl: Because it’s so quick and easy to learn and actually have a very, very good experience of, I’m wondering if how much size do people really




need to know like – well, just like it’s not going to harm you. Give it a go. Ten minutes and just see what happens.

Ann: Yeah, absolutely. It depends really whether you’re 80% in your head or a 100% in your head.

Beryl: OK, OK. Yeah.

Ann: I mean I find I’ve had to go and do quite a bit of research behind the scenes around – on building the science. And I think – I also think there’s an obligation to go away and find the evidence behind this from an ethical perspective I think it’s – while I’m saying it’s not that significant, it is good to have that in order to be able to address those questions. And if someone is really stuck in their head, that science can sometimes be necessary just to make them – allow themselves to try it.

So for me, I’m really happy to share articles, to share links to videos, links to other information, and if a client wants, I will take 25 minutes explaining all the meridians, explaining everything in there. Once they’ve had their first try into tapping and experienced it, none of that is really what it’s about. What it’s about is how it works for them.

Melanie: Yeah.

Ann: That’s where it goes. But I feel as a practitioner, there is a responsibility to really insure you have that base of knowledge. And also keep abreast of new developments within the field.

Beryl: Because it is moving on, isn’t it? It is developing.

Ann: Absolutely.

Melanie: So would you at some point within now and a few minutes, you mentioned to us in a previous conversation that you encourage your clients to have a kind of a start of the day wake up routine.

Ann: Yeah.

Melanie: That empowers them and helps them to leverage the rest of the day. Would you be willing to share that with our viewers?




Ann: Absolutely.

Melanie: And perhaps give them a taste of tapping for those who have never experienced it.

Ann: Love to. Love to. One of the things I said earlier was that EFT, the T stands for technique. So while you may work with the practitioner around clearing problems, clearing issues to allow you to establish a more empowering belief system, one of the things that the tapping has great force in the moment. So it’s great in the morning. The way that I use it in the morning is about setting my intention. And setting my intention for the day and how I’m going to be and how I’m going to show up.

So it’s kind of quite literally, out of bed, bounce into the shower, may be don’t bounce. But get into the shower and start the tapping. And tapping, let me just take my glasses off so that I don’t kind of knock them as we’re going, is working on a series of points that are from the top of the head down around the face, collarbone and under the arm. And I always kind of move around as we’re doing this if that’s OK to make sure that you can see the points.

So the points themselves, now, some practitioners will start in the side of the eye. I tend to start in the top because a lot of meridians converge there. I think it’s a great way to just kick start your tapping. Also when you get into the routine of tapping, it’s kind of just seems to make sense to start at the top and work through.

So the first, you kind of find it by putting your thumbs on the tops of your ears and where your hands converge here, it’s the top of the head point. And then the next is just here at the inside of the eyebrow, right at the bridge of the nose then just following your eyebrow into the side of the eye, underneath in this little furrow, underneath your nose, the chin. Now, the collarbone points, you just follow your collarbone round until you find the little hollow then drop down and just to the side.

Now initially, if you’re tapping, you might find it a little bit awkward to get or you’re not quite sure if you got it. This is about success without the stress. So what we’re going to do is just use the flat of the hand, just there. And this one you should notice, I wonder if you’ve ever noticed when you’ve had




a fright or shock how you’re naturally just put your hands there so you’re actually tapping into some of the points that manage a stress response. So we got that arm there.

Then the underarm, ladies, that’s for us. That area, just on the bra strap there about halfway. And if you find you’ve got difficulty accessing that, it’s awkward or whatever, you can use the insides of your wrists, it’s the same meridian. So when you jump into the shower – really, this is literally what I’m doing is as I’m showering, I’m tapping and I’m making I am statements. I am today calm and confident. I am – and I’ll talk about events that are going on. I don’t talk about outcomes. I talk about my intention. So whatever it is I’m going to do today, how I intend to be, how I intend to show up.

And I also talk about my intention is coming from the highest good or for service or whatever it is for me. So it’s literally top of the head, points around the eyes, nose, collarbone, and on to the arm. So you see how quick that is.

Another one which is really good again is probably to startup with the day is even shorter than that. Just using the under eye points and the collarbone points and just going backwards and forwards between those two. That’s a great one as well. When you feel – you just feel that edge. You feel like of here it comes. Just quickly ten times on each backwards and forwards and it will ground you and balance you really quickly. So that’s another one. That’s one to use at the start of the day. And also, you can use it during the day.

So it is all about intention setting. And it is all about you because one of the things here is the only thing you control is you, it’s how you show up. You have no control over anybody else. You have no control of how they’re going to behave, how they’re going to react to you, it’s all about your intention for you. So that’s the morning.

Then through the day, just tapping as you go and I’m going to be really – this may be controversial, it may not. But I have had phone calls from clients to tell me, “You know that big presentation, I did what you said. I went to the toilet, did a tap, and I was so calmed.” So it is about saying, “I’m calm and confident. I’m calm and confident. Even though this is a big presentation, I am surprised to be calm and confident.” Yeah. And quite a




lot of actors and performers use tapping as part of their routine before they go on stage. I believe I’ve heard Michael Ball mentioned a couple of times that he uses it.

So it’s a great way of handling anxiety. So it’s a way – for me, it’s always about transforming. We’re transforming the anxiety to excitement so that you can access it, to access success within there. So that’s the morning routine.

In the evening, what I suggest is – a lot of people keep gratitude journals which I think is a wonderful idea. And if you live in our country at this time, I promise you there is always something every day to be grateful for.

Melanie: Absolutely.

Ann: We really have [0:45:28] [indiscernible] inborn at this time in this country in comparison not just to history but in comparison to the experience of most people in the rest of the world. So in terms of being grateful – I’m a great believer in being grateful for the ordinary because sometimes we forget the power of ordinary. And just sitting down for dinner with your family is something to be immensely grateful for.

Beryl: Having clean water.

Ann: Absolutely, absolutely. And for me, that’s something that we can again at the end of the day. At first, I began by getting rid of any niggles. And my niggle is that kind of worry worm. You’re getting ready for bed and going, “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that.” And you’re doing that whole beat yourself up thing, just tap on it. I tap on it. Even though I put my foot in it, I’m OK. And there are days I promise you ladies, I only open my mouth to change face. It’s kind of like, oh but I did it. It happened. I’ve apologized. Let it go. And I’m not going to use it as a way of beating myself up because I’m not going to hold that belief anymore that that’s evidence of something else.

So I tap on the niggles, whatever they are. And you can see probably how this would be great for kids to do at the end of the day.

Beryl: Yes.




Ann: As you’re tucking kids in, a great way to have a fantastic conversation to do that. And then I tap on the things I’m grateful for. One thing that people sometimes worry about are the words. Honestly, as long as they’re your words and they speak to you, they’re the right words.

Beryl: Fabulous.

Ann: That’s all that matters. Is it real for you? And if it is, it’s the right words. So morning, evening, and do your emergency minute. Do your kind of tapping here and your tapping here if you find you have little kind of wobbles through the course of the day as we sometimes have.

Beryl: Even if you can’t find words, perhaps you’re very anxious, you can’t find words. The tapping is just going to work anyways, isn’t it?

Ann: Absolutely. Sitting on a traffic jam, you’ve got a choice. You’ve got a choice to let yourself kind of fume or you can just tap. The other thing which I love to do is to tap along to music.

Beryl: Oh?

Ann: Yeah. So if I’ve got some – if I want to – if I’m reflecting on something, I put on a piece of music which I find is reflective and I’ll tap and just go – and trust that whatever it is will come. I’m tapping for clarity there. And that for me, I’m quite auditory so music has an impact. And again, how often do we just want to put a piece of music, say from one of my Carpenters, On Top of the World. And tap along to those words, to those empowered words that speak to you.

Beryl: Yes. Fantastic.

Ann: There are other pieces of music. Listen to a gorgeous piece of music called Love Peace and Wisdom. So using the tapping or the stuff that’s meaningful for you is a great way. And we talked about stress management. I’m a big fan of mindfulness, a big fan of mindfulness. But to get someone who is stressed or who is really living in their head to sit down for 45 minutes, six times a week is not going to happen.

So one of the things I was looking for was ways to get into doing meditative reflective practices. Practices that were around self-care that for me, I




talked about tapping in no time at all because you’re doing it while you’re doing something else, while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil, while you’re brushing your teeth or whatever it is. Just integrate it within there.

And if you find it really works for you and you stop then there is an interesting question to have about your commitment to your own self-care because there can be clients who will get to a point where they are ready to just take that next step and something kicks in for them. And that’s a fantastic insight to notice because it suggests that there’s some thinking going on there about what you deserve and you’ve created a threshold for yourself about what it’s OK for you to have or for you to enjoy. So …

Melanie: Carry on.

Ann: No, that’s fine, Melanie. I know I keep on going.

Melanie: No, no, no. I was just going to add to that because you caused me to remember something that sometimes people tap on something that’s been absolutely crippling for them and they get instant relief and say on a scale from up to 10, this thing was crippling 15 out of ten and the relief brings it down to let’s say, 4 out of 10 and they’re willing to stop because they can stand that.

Ann: Yes.

Melanie: So you made a very valid point there.

Ann: Yeah. It’s very interesting as you’re tapping. Often, what we begin talking about is not necessarily what’s really going on. It’s just what we’re consciously aware of at that time. So you can be tapping and something can drop and then suddenly, it peaks again. And that’s a really good sign that we’re getting closer to what’s really going on. So it’s kind of like, I think, Louise here uses the – I’ve read somewhere that she did something about an onion. It’s taking more layers of an onion. Because if you think about an onion is eventually you get to the middle and there’s nothing there when you peeled all the layers away and that’s what we’re doing.

So we work on what’s called – and we describe that as aspects. So the problem can have aspects. So you can have – and these are the beliefs which I find a huge majority of the women that I work with have is I’m not




lovable. I’m not lovable and I don’t deserve to be loved. And out of that springs, “I’m not worthy,” all sorts of other things that would grow around there. And we have build layer upon layer upon layer upon layer upon layer. And where we begin is how that’s playing itself out in the external world. And where we end up is challenging the belief that, “I’m not lovable.”

Melanie: Yeah.

Ann: And that I think most women – I mean I’m getting goose bumps just saying it, I think most women would realize that dealing with that would have a profound impact on their life and how they behaved towards themselves and towards others and the way that they then show up in all areas of their life. Because here’s the thing when I’m working with people, we may be working on their business but the limiting beliefs that are limiting them in their business are usually limiting them in other areas of their life as well.

Beryl: Indeed.

Ann: But they feel safe tackling them in the area of business.

Beryl: But do you find then there’s this ripple effect? Because how we do one thing is how we do everything. So if we shift that thing that we think is the problem then other stuff will fall away. It’s like the lock jam.

Ann: Absolutely. It’s kind of – it’s that’s host of cards and we’ve taken away the bottom layer and everything else will cave in. If you are running your life looking for evidence that you’re not lovable, you will keep finding it. You will absolutely keep finding it because you’re a clever little thing and you will go and find it. And even when good stuff happens, you will manage a way to interpret that that you are not lovable.

Beryl: Well, self-sabotage is a very powerful thing and it occurs a lot. But Ann, you’ve shared with us so much. I am moved to go off and do some tapping today, let me tell you.

Ann: Great.

Beryl: I have got a whole list of stuff that’s going through my head right now. And I’m mindful of the time. And you have been so kind in sharing




your knowledge and it’s really coming through with a great deal of heart-centeredness from you. I know that many of our audience are going to find this really very empowering. Where can people find you? I know you work one-to-one. You work with women’s groups. Would you like to talk about that for a little bit where they find you?

Ann: The best place to find me is to go to my website which is www.lookingforchange.co.uk or email me at [email protected]. And I’m very happy if people get in touch to send them some tapping diagrams and also to answer any questions that they might have about tapping. If I don’t know the answer, I guarantee I will know someone who does and can point them in that direction because for me, this is about getting the message out there about what’s possible through tapping in particular. And also to women that it doesn’t have to be the way you’ve experienced it before. It can change and you can change it. Every woman, whatever your age, whatever your background, anything is possible.

Beryl: Fantastic.

Melanie: And this brings us to, you mentioned that you’re willing to answer their questions.

Ann: Yeah.

Melanie: I would like to encourage people to comment on this episode and of course, I take it, Ann, I’m taking the liberty of saying that from time to time, you’ll have a look at the comments.

Ann: Absolutely.

Melanie: And respond to any questions. Yeah?

Ann: Absolutely. If it’s something that’s general and you want to pop it on there, if it’s something that’s a little more personal and you want to send it to me directly, then use the [email protected] email. But really happy to do that and if we get lots of comments then maybe some other areas that myself or other coaches can come on in and share as well.

Melanie: Well, thank you for this, Ann. This has been extremely valuable. It does time so nicely with our aims at Wired for Success and in a sense what




you mentioned here is that if people are willing to literally tap into their inner wiring and just fine tune it, the [0:55:43] [indiscernible] really.

Ann: Absolutely. And I’m so supportive of everything that you’re doing because we are wired for success. Success is our natural state.


Ann: And you said about where you were coming from, a metaphor I sometimes use with clients is just because there are clouds in front of the sun, the sun doesn’t stop shining. So all we’re doing is blowing away these clouds and letting everybody shine.


Beryl: That’s lovely.

Melanie: OK. So before we wrap up, is there anything else you wanted to say, Ann, before we wrap up?

Ann: Oh gosh! I think we’ve covered so much.

Melanie: We have, yes.

Ann: And I hope we’re encouraging people to go away and discover more.

Melanie: I’m sure people have been inspired by this and who knows? We might have you back for some more.

Ann: Great. That would be lovely.

Beryl: If you’re watching this on any kind of social media, then please feel free to share it with all of your friends. We’re Wired for Success TV at Facebook and on Twitter.

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If you head over there, there will be a transcript of this episode too. We reply to all comments and suggestions and we would love to hear from you. So thank you for tuning in. Remember to tune in for the next episode of Wired for Success where we help you to master the seven areas of life.

So from me Beryl and my co-host Melanie and from our interviewee Ann, we bid you farewell and next time. So, if you would like to say good-bye.

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