Spinella - Living Well - Strategies From Positive Psychology

8/11/2019 Spinella - Living Well - Strategies From Positive Psychology

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Marcello Spinella, Ph.D.

Living Well

Strategies from Positive Psychology


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Associate Professor of Psychology

Richard Stockton College of New Jersey

"Flower In Hands" by Anna Cervova. http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=845&picture=flower-in-hands
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WHAT IS POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY?

What positive psychology is NOT about:

1. Constant euphoria

2. Looking through rose-colored glasses

3. Thinking nothing but happy thoughts all the time

4. Being out-of-touch with reality

What positive psychology IS about:

1. A deep, meaningful, enduring sense of well-being

2. Helping people accomplish more of what they want to3. Resilience to difficulties and challenges

4. Greater appreciation and satisfaction

Can Personality Be Changed? Yes.(Carol Dweck, 2008)

1. Beliefs about personality:

a. Fixed mindsetbelieving characteristics are unchangeable(intelligence, personality)b. Growth Mindset - believing characteristics can be developed (effort & education)

2. Consequences of beliefspeople with Growth Mindset are more:

a. Open to learning

b. Willing to confront challenges

c. Able to stick to difficult tasks

d. Capable of bouncing back from failures

e. Variety of situations(school transitions, business negotiations, relationship conflict)

3. Growth Mindsetcan be learned

a. College students learned about growth mindset

b. Higher GPA, greater valuing & enjoyment of academics

d. Comparison group: study skills - did notchange motivation or grades


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Well-Being Based on What?

1. Conditional Well-Being

a. Depends on external situations matching your expectations1. Good events feel good

2. Bad events feel bad

b. At the mercy of circumstance(roller coaster) - feel helpless

2. Unconditional Well-Being

a. Depends on internal skills and strengths1. How you respondto events (think, act)

2. Greater appreciation & resilience

The Biology of Change:a.Brain plasticitybrain constantly rewires itself with experience, choices

b.EpigeneticsGenes can be turned on/off depending on lifestyle choicesc. Influence of genetics reduces with age (e.g. adult personality ~30%)

The first condition for change: recognizing that change is possible.

Icantchangemeans:

a. I dont believe that I can change. (belief)

b. I dontwant to change. (effort, scary) (motivation)

c. I dont know how to change yet. (learned skills)


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Why Bother With This?

There is more to being healthy than just not being sick.

Nun Study Baseball Players

The Benefits of happiness:(Lyubomirsky et al., 2005)

a. Personal(more creative, helpful, generous, self-confidence, self-control)b. Behavior(more activity, enthusiasm/energy)

c. Relationships(e.g. more satisfying, longer marriages, stronger social support)

d. Work(higher income, greater productivity)

e. Physical health(Ryff et al., 2004)

1. Lower stress hormones

2. Stronger immune system

3. Better heart health

4. Better sleep5. Less illness

f. Longevity: Nuns & Baseball Players (Danner, Snowdon, & Friesen, 2001; Abel & Kruger, 2010)1. Happiness predicted greater longevity

2. Protected from the onset of dementia3. Stress accelerates cellular aging (Epel et al., 2004)


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The Negativity Bias

1. Badis stronger thangood.

a. Negative emotions have a stronger pull on our attention

b. Survival strategy

2. Problems demand attention

a. Positive emotions on the backburner


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Counterbalancing the Negativity Bias

The Positivity Ratio

a. Ratio of positive to negative emotions

1. ~20% 3:1 (or higher) Flourishing(3:111:1)

2. ~60% 2:1 Positivity offset(feel pretty good most of the time, until trouble)3. ~20% 1:1 (or lower) Languishing

b. People with depression

1. Pre-treatment:


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Positive Ratio Builds Resources

What WeDo: What WeDevelop:

Explore & Learn Skills (mental, physical, social)

Inventive Knowledge Creative Social networks

Open minded Grow Socialize

Outlastthe positive emotion

Undoing Effect

1. Positive emotions undo the effects of negative emotions

2. Antidote

a. Mentally un-stuckb. Restoreflexible thinking

3. Restores normal physiology (blood pressure, etc.)


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Gratitude

Appreciating circumstances

Way of interpreting everyday experiences

1. Voluntary choicein what we pay attention to2. Not just a knee-jerk reaction

Regulating positive emotion:

1. Notice Increasing awareness (Frequency)

2. Appreciate Increasing the reaction (Intensity)

3. Savor Prolonging reaction (Duration)

Counteracts adaptation

1. Less "taking things for granted"

2. Getting more happiness from what alreadyexists

Inour daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us

grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.

--Albert Clarke

Ifyou dontfeel grateful for what you already have, what makes you

thinkyoullbe happy with more?

-Heather Martin

Gratitude Is NotIndebtedness

Gratitude correlates only with positive emotions

Indebtedness/obligation correlates with negative emotions

Gratitude increases relationship satisfaction, indebtedness doesnt


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Benefits of Gratitude

* Unrelated to li fe events

More:

Overall positive emotions

Hope, Optimism

TrustLife satisfaction

Relationship satisfaction

- Romantic & friendships

- Both parties

Sleep (latency, quality, duration)

Academic performance

Altruism (for friends & strangers)

Less:

Depression

Anxiety

Stress/burnout

Jealousy

Hate

Substance abuse

How to Increase Gratitude (proven methods)

1. Gratitude List

a. Best done at night (keep pad by bedside)

b. List ~3 things from the dayc. Do for at least two weeks

2. Journal

3. Gratitude Visit

a. Write a letter to someone who has done something good for youb. About a page (~300 words)

c. Meet up & read them the letter

d. Give them the letter to keep


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Benefit Finding

Gratitude vs. Benefit Finding:

Gratitude: appreciating something considered good

Benefi t F inding: appreciating something considered bad

Realistic thinking

No situation is 100% bad or 100% good

o

Easy to overlook good aspects (i.e. negativity bias)

o Both prosperity & adversity can change us for the better

Reframing situations

o

Challenginginstead of just traumatic

o

Beneficialsomething to begained

" I f we wil l be quiet and ready enough, we shall f ind compensation in

every disappointment."

--Henry David Thoreau

Involves awareness of choiceso

Choicein how we interpret (matter of whether we recognize it)

o Proactivelysearchfor positive aspects

Opportun ities do not come with their values stamped upon them.

--Maltbie Davenport Babcock

Notdenial

o

Fully recognize difficulties & misfortune

o

Not getting stuck on just that aspect


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The Advantages of Adversity

Types:

Situational- Lose job, may find a better one (sometimes)

Psychologicalalways, matter of choice

o

Increase awareness

Emotional distress helps us find the problem

Highlights what'simportantto us

o Motivates change

Drive to do something about it

Direction for our efforts

o

Opportunity to learn

Practice coping skills (handle problems better in the future)

Broadens mindset (shift in perspective, bigger picture)

Appreciation - Difficulties are necessaryfor learning

Develop flexibility - Things don't always go your way

Increase empathy (Recognize othersstruggles, perspectives)

Post-Traumatic Growth

Substantial percentage see growth after trauma (~50-75%)

o

Bereavement

o Major illness (heart attack, stroke, spinal cord injury)

o

Accidents

o Abuse

o Combat

Become more resilient

Thereis no education like adversity.-Benjamin Disraeli

"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know."

--Pema Chdrn


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Benefits of Benefit Finding

Positive emotion

Life satisfaction

Altruism

More meaning in life

Greater appreciation of life Gratitude

Changed priorities (what really matters)

Closer Relationships:

Recognize personal strengths (e.g. courage, patience)

Recognize new possibilities & new directions in life

Health

Heart attack: Fewer heart attacks 8 years later

HIV: Slower progression

Cancer: better chemotherapy recovery, stress & depression

Technique: Combine With the Gratitude List

o

List 3 goodthings

o List 1 badthing, and how thatsalsogood.

Mostmen in a concentration camp believed that the real opportunities of life had

passed. Yet, in reality, there was an opportunity and a challenge. One could make

a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could

ignore the challenge and simply vegetate, as did a majority of theprisoners.

--Viktor Frankl (1963)

"The truth is that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to meWhenI was

sick, I saw more beauty and triumph and truth in a single day than I ever did in a

bike racewe are much better than we know. We have unrealized capacities that

sometimes only emerge in crisis.

--Lance Armstrong (2001)


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Perspective Taking

1. What it is

a. Imagining a situation from anotherspoint of view

b. Coping strategy to reduce anger

2. How:

a. See all actions as coping strategies

1. Minimize pain/threat & maximize pleasure/safety

2. Some adaptive means, some maladaptive

3. Best the person knows how to do at that time

b. De-personalize harm

1.Nothing is ever personal

2. You are incidental (wrong place, wrong time)

c. Multiple influences behind any action

d. Consider possible positive intentions (regardless of method)

3. Notletting people abuse you

a. Get out of harmsway & dontadd insult to injury

b. Think clearly & shift to a better strategy (problem solving, communication, etc.)


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Forgiveness

Vietnam War, 1972

oForgiveness benefits theforgiver

oDepends on how itsunderstood and how itsdone

Forgiveness Defined

1. Giving up anger/resentment

a. Interpretation of harm/unfair treatment

b. Not holding a grudge

2.Freely chosenby the forgiver

a. No one can forceyou do to it (coerce, threaten, guilt trip, manipulate, etc.)

b. No one canstopyou if you have chosen to do it (i.e. empowering)

3. Change in attitude toward offender

a. More positive (benevolence), less negative (vengeful, avoidant)


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What Forgiveness is Not

1. Acquiescing - Allowing harmful actions to continue

2. Condoning -Not recognizing any harm done or unfairness (Enright and Fitzgibbons, 2000)

3. Forgettinga. Not realistic: people rarely forget

b. May remember in new ways, without anger

4. Reconciliation

a. Re-establishing relationship and mutual trust1. Nice, but separate from forgiveness

2. Sometimes not appropriate (e.g. person hasnt changed)

Forgivenessis free; trust is earned.--Robert Enright

b. You can forgive without reconciling1. Why put your peace of mind in someone elses hands???

Paradoxical Consequences of Revenge

a. People expect revenge will make them feel better

b. Actually makes them feel worse

c. Increases rumination & negative emotion

Four Phases of Forgiving

1.Uncovering phase -Examine & understand

a. Emotional awareness (anger, fear, disappointment, mixed feelings)

1. Energy expended

b. Examine current strategies

1. Behavior: Avoidance, Retaliation, etc.2. Ruminationrepetitive thinking

3. Comparing self with offender: seeing them as betteroff4. General attitudes/outlook: Lifeis unfair, People are selfish


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2. Decision phase Weigh options & choose

a. Recognition that old strategies are ineffective (costs vs. benefits)b. Considering option of forgiveness

c. Commitment to forgive

Angeris like throwing hot coals at someone. You burn yourself in theprocess.-Buddhaghosa

3. Work phaseChange perspective

a.Perspective-taking

Ifwe could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's lifesorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1886)

Ifonly there were evil people out there insidiously committing evil deeds and it was

only necessary to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the linedividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.

-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (1973)

4. Outcome phase Appreciate

a. Benefit finding - advantages of overcoming it

b. Accept human imperfection (including our own)

c. Not alone - others have been harmed & forgiven tood. Emotional relief - How do you know itsworked? You wish them well.e. Recognize it as a choiceand importantskill

1. Proactive: Choice to not accumulate new resentments

Benefits of Forgiveness

1. Emotional

a. More positive (satisfaction), less negative (depression, anxiety)b. Better recovery from trauma (including abuse , incest, & torture)

2. Physiological: Lower cortisol, blood pressure, better health (affects every cell)

a. BUT: forgiving by obligation is worse

Resentmentis like drinking poison & expecting the other personto getsick.


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Relationships Between Thoughts & Emotions

1. Thoughts & emotions are reciprocala. Thoughts trigger emotions

b. Emotions influence our thoughts (*Strong emotions always distort thinking)

2. Difference:a. Can't directly change our emotions

b. Can change our thoughts, re-interpret situations

3. Thoughts are not reality

a. We experience ourbrainsinterpretation of reality

b. Accurate enoughmost of the timec. Not always:

1. We make mistakes

2. Schizophrenia3. Illusions4. Strong emotions

d. Problem: Tendency to automatically believe our thoughts

Thoughts are thoughts Thoughts are realityRational, realistic Irrational, unrealistic, psychotic

Flexible mindset Rigid mindset

1. Goal: Move towards the left - observerof own thoughts2. Choose whether or not to believe/react


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e. Tolerance of others' thoughts/opinions

1. Thoughts are reality

a. Other opinions are either stupid or crazyb. Intolerance, frustration

2. Midwaya. Acknowledgement/acceptance of that other viewsb. Tolerance

3. Thoughts are just thoughts

a.Appreciationof otherpeoplesviews (curious, interest)b. Appreciate diversity (more interesting)

4. Events do not cause emotions

a. Blame: Hemade meupset Shemade medo it.

b. Reality: ABCs

1. Inccurate: (A) Event (C) Consequence(chain of events) Emotions

Behavior

2. Accuate: (A) Event (B) Beliefs (C) Consequence

Thoughts EmotionsInterpretations Behavior

c. B is where the choice lies

1. Dont have to go with our automatic reactions, habits


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Awareness of Choice

Alternative: Awareness of Choice

The Tyrannyof the Shoulds

1. Thinking in terms of obligation

a. Rigid expectations about people, situationsb. Common words:should, have to, must, ought to,got toc. Done toward: ourselves, others, events/situations

2. Problem:

a. Unrealistic:

1. What Is Going On(WIGO)current reality2. What Should be Going On(WSGO)our mental fiction

3. Obligation, Should is fiction

b. Fixes nothing: things already arethe way they are

c. Rigid & inflexible1. Expectations have no limits

2. Regret Orientationdwelling in past (helpless) instead of choices now

d. Motivation by guiltworks, but has side effects

e. No-Win Scenario:1. Do the thing you feel obligated to do: resentment

2. Dontdo the thing you feel obligated to do:guilt

1. Awareness of choice is

a. Awareness of the choice(s) you are making.

b. Realizing that could be choosing something else instead.1. Multiple options in every situation

2. Rejected options still exist (just ones you choosenot to take)

Everythingcan be taken from a person but one thing: the last of the humanfreedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's

own way.--Viktor Frankl (1963)


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2. No one can make you do anything, ever.a. Obligation is an illusion, a concept

1. Only choices& consequences exist

2. All that varies is our awarenessof that fact

b. We always final say over what we think& do how we feel1. It cannotbe taken away (empowering)

2. Cant blame others for choices only we can make (responsibility)

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

-- Elanor Roosevelt

3. Donttry to control other's choices(because you cant)

a. Otherwise you create:

1. Frustration2. Over-responsibility

Itis not possible to control whether or not we give offense.

--Cheri Huber

b.Have no concernover otherschoices that dontaffect you1. Even if you don't agree; respect their right to choose

2. Distracts from your own choices

4. We control choicesnot events

a. We influenceevents through our choices

b. Refocus on what you can control, instead of what you cant1. Makes you more effective

c. Expressed in the Serenity prayer: (paraphrased from Reinhold Neibuhr)

1. Accept the things that cantbe changed,2. Courage to change the things that can be changed,

3. Wisdom to know the difference. Awareness of choice


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Beyond your control Within your controlWhat happens How you respondto what happens.

Internal The occurrenceof: How you respond(think/interpret):

Thoughts that come up Thoughts that come upEmotions that come up Emotions that come up

Your health (illnesses, injuries) Your health choices (eat, exercise)Experience/memory of events Experience/memory of events

External The occurrenceof: How you respond(do/say) to:

What other people think What other people thinkWhat other people feel What other people feel

What other people do/say What other people do/sayOtherpeopleshealth Otherpeopleshealth

Physical events Physical events

Your

Responsibility None of the above The consequences of the above

Unawareness Over-responsibility & stress Blame & anger/resentment

Stress: Trying to control something thatsbeyond your control

Awareness of Choice Strategies:

1. Redirect - Distinguish whatswithin& beyondyour control; redirect

2. Step Outside Yourselfa. What would a _______ person do in this situation? (wise, compassionate, sensible)

3. Language- Substitute obligationwords with choice words

Obligation: Should, have to, need to, must, ought to, supposed to

Choice: Could, want to, choose to, prefer to

4. Keep it in the I(1stperson )

1. Igot worried,instead of Youmade me worried.2. "I got angry,"instead of "It made me angry.


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Optimism & Pessimism

Two Types

1. Dispositional optimism -General expectation that things will work out2. Explanatory style - How we interpret events

Explanatory Style

Optimistic thinking Pessimistic thinking

1. Permanence

a. Badevents are temporary, changeable a. Badevents are permanent

1. "sometimes," "lately" 1. "always," "never"2. Problems aresetbacks 2. Problems are major defeats

3. Continue to try after failures 3. Stop trying after failures

b. Goodevents seen as permanent b. Goodevents seen as temporary

1. Attributed to more lasting causes 1. Short-term causes2. Try harder when they succeed 2. Give up after succeeding

2. Pervasiveness

a. Compartmentalizeproblems a. Troubles spill over, multiply1. Continue on with other areas of life 1. Catastrophize2. See causes as specific 2. See causes as universal

3. Decreases helplessness 3. Increases helplessness

b. Good events seen as universal b. Good events seen as specific1. Benefits carry over 1. Sees benefits as limited

3. Personalization

a. View problems in the bigger context a. Blame selffor bad events

1. Contribution of circumstances 1. Everything bad is my fault

b. Good eventsinternal causes: b. Good events attributed to:1. Effort, planning, awareness 1. Externalcauses, circumstances

2. Chance favors the prepared mind Pasteur


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Summary:

Optimistic Thinking Pessimistic Thinking

BadEvents

1. Temporary (changeable)2. Specific (compartmentalize)

3. External (circumstances)

GoodEvents

1. Temporary (changeable)2. Specific (compartmentalize)

3. External (circumstances)

BadEvents

1. Permanent (unchangeable)2. Universal (catastrophize)

3. Internal (personal)

GoodEvents

1. Permanent (unchangeable)2. Universal (catastrophize)

3. Internal (personal)

Some Points About Explanatory Style

1. Not self-delusiona. Important to find realistic, factualreasons for optimism - matter ofsearching

b. Counterbalance negativity bias

c. Does not deny responsibility

2. Nobody is optimistic or pessimistic 100% of the time

a. Itsnot what we are, itswhat we dob. Thinking styles can be changed

Example: Car breaks downPessimistic View1. Permanent - This car will never be as good as it was. Its going to keep breaking down.

2. Universal Yet another problem. Im going to be late for work. My life is falling apart.

3. Internal - This is my fault. I should have taken it to be checked last week.

Optimistic View1. Temporary - Thisis a temporary inconvenience. It will be fixed or replaced.

2. Specific - Thisis a small problem in the bigpicture.3. ExternalThese things happen sometimes. Every car breaks down sooner or later.


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What Gets Us Into Trouble

1. Overgeneralization

a. Taking one instance & and assume all others are the sameb. Often uses words like always, never, orforever.

2. Catastrophizing

a. Interpret something as worse than it really isb. Awfulizing- Imstarving.vs. Imhungry.

c. I-can't-stand-it-itisBelieving a situation will be intolerable

3. All-or-Nothing Thinkinga. Thinking in absolutes

b. Tend to be judgmental categories (interesting-boring, worthy-worthless)c. Seeing situations/people as all good or all bad

4. Fortune Telling - Treat negative predictions like established facts

5. JudgmentalBlame

a. Ifsomething goes wrong, it must besomebody's fault.(self/others)1. Accountability is separate from judgment

b. The blame gamec. Blame makes you helpless - happiness based on otherpeopleschoices

Benefits of Optimism

Less illness & pain

Better cardiovascular health (50% lower risk of death, 15 yrs after)

Slower disease progression in HIV

Better mobility in elderly people

Less distress from terminal cancerGrade school childrenless depression, improved classroom behavior

When to use an optimism : When not to use optimism:

Challenging situations High risk situations

a. Maintain well-being (depression, worry) a. Stock market, birth control, seat belts

b. Chronic problems (e.g. illness)

Guiding principle: Benefits from raising mood & cost of being wrong is low

Idon't eat junk

foods and I don'tthink junk thoughts!


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6. Rumination/obsessive thinking

a. Repetitive thinking, prolongs & magnifies negative emotionsb. Doesnt lead to solutions

c. Drains time & energy, physically harmful

d. Happy people have negative emotions, but dontdwell

7. Avoidancea. Situations and/or thinkingb. Temporary fix, problem remains

c. Addictions, entertainment, shopping, etc.

8. Perfectionist Thinkinga. Unrealistically high standards

b. Judge self-worth on outcomesc. All-or-nothing: 100% success or 100%failure

d. Catastrophizing - Exaggerated fear of failure/mistakes

e. Over-responsibility - Must take care of everythingf. Hyper-alert to imperfectionsg. Blame - Relentlessly hard on oneself

h. Alienation - Hide imperfectionsi. Alternative: Optimalism

a.Improve performance, notselfb. Assessing choices, useful feedback

c.Rewardeffort, regardless of outcome


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Coping Strategies

Making theShift

1. From the content(situation) toprocess(how youredealing with it)2. Notice the strategy youreusing & search for a better one

Decatastrophizing

1. Worst-case-scenario

a. What's the worstthat could happen? (& likelihood)b. Could you find a way to get through it? (have others?)

2. Time machine: How will this affect you 3 days from now? (months, years)

Question the Usefulness

1. Negative belief may be true & significant, but harmful to dwell ont:a. Driving and thinking I could die at any minute.

2. Test of usefulness (cost-benefit analysis):

a. Is this helpful?

b. Is this harmful?

c. Harmful > Helpful = Stopd. What would be more helpful instead? - Encourages action, acceptance

Disclosure

1. Expression of thoughts and/or emotions (writing and/or talking)2.Almost as effective as professional psychotherapy3. Improves emotions, physical health, etc.

4. Putting it into words - Helps us makesenseof an event (mentally organize)5. Desensitize ourselves after trauma


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Humor

Response to Humor1. LaughterVocalization

2. Smile- Facial expression3. Mirth - Positive emotion

Benefits of Mirth & Laughter

1. Physical

a. Increase pain tolereanceb. Stronger immune system (natural killer cells)

c. Cardiovascularincreases blood flow (~exercise)d. Longevity: 53,000 people over 7 years, regardless of health

2. Emotional

a. Less stressb. Less anger & hostility

Effects of Cynicism/Sarcasm

1. Increases inflammation (interleukin-6)2. Increases heart disease

3. Undermines benefits of social support4. Increased suicidal thinking in depression

Humor in Relationships1. Couples happier (but not negative humor)

2. All relationships

3. Better able to work out conflicts4. Childrens development


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Curiosity

1. One of the top 5 predictors of happiness

2. Motivates learning & growth

Curiosity exploration learning satisfaction more curiosity

3. Motivatesattention- gives a reason to investigate

4. Reframes uncertaintyinteresting instead of threatening

5. Increases appreciation -No such thing as ordinary,look close enough

6. Related toLongevity - more curious, live longer (animals & humans)

7. Increases intelligence & problem solving (children & adults)

8. Greater meaning in life & relationships

a. Look deeper, see connections, relevance

b. Interest in people (family, friends, intimate, strangers)

c. Find/create common interests

9. Developing curiositya. Reframing - Find 3 things that are new, different about people/situations

b. Trying new things, meet new people


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Self-Regulation

Suppressing Thoughts & Emotions

1. Paradoxical effect:a. Increases them

b. During suppression and afterwards

c. Especially when mentally occupied

2. Impossible instructions - backfiresa. Try not to think/feel somethingb. Self-monitor - remindourselves of the thought/emotion

c. Suppression worsensnegative emotions, pain, drug/food cravings

3. Better alternatives:

a. Disclosure- written/spoken

b. Mindfulnessnon-judgmental awareness, allow to passc. Reframingre-interpret situation

What is it?

1. Ability to regulate our thoughts, emotions, & behaviors

2. More strategythan willpower


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EmotionRegulation Strategies

1.Before

a. Situation selection - Picking the right situation, people, places, activitiesb. Situation modification - Changing the situation help

c. Attention - Focusing on certain aspects of a situation

d. Cognitive change Reframing situation, change meaning

"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them."

--Kahlil Gibran

2.After

a. Suppression of facial expression of emotion

3. Reappraisal vs. Suppression

Reframing: Suppression: More positive emotion Less positive emotion

Less negative More negative emotion Better memory Worse memory

More social closeness Less social closeness Greater life satisfaction Lower life satisfaction

4. Self-Regulation is like a muscle

a. Gets tired, replenishes with rest

b. Exercise makes it strongerc. Positive emotions recharge itd. Negative emotions drain it


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Money & Well-Being

1. Wealth unrelatedto happiness above the poverty line. Why?

a. Take it for grantedexpectations shiftb. Tradeoffswork vs. time

c. Comparisonssomeone always has more1. More comparisons, more negative emotion

2. Life Satisfaction (scale 1-7)

a. Forbes Richest Americans 5.8 (billionaires)b. Traditional Maasai 5.4 (live in mud huts)

c. Amish (Pa.) 5.1 (ride in horse carts)d. College students (USA) 4.7

e. Calcutta slum dwellers 4.4 (dirt poor)f. Calcutta homeless 3.2

g. California homeless 2.8


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2. Materialism

a.Attitudetoward wealth:

1. Central importance of wealth/possessions

2. Possessions/wealth cause happiness3. Success judged by wealth/possessions

b. Consequences

1. Financial: more spending, more debt

2. Emotional: Less positive emotion, more negative

3. Social: Less family happiness, more divorce

4. Less job satisfaction

Alternative

1. Values Approach

a. Identify what is meaningful (tombstone exercise) & act accordingly

2. Experiences > Possessions

a. Improve with timeb. Harder to compare (time at the beach or time in the mountains?)c. More social, shared

3. Worka. Do what you love (choice of occupation)

b. Love what you do (job crafting, create meaning)


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Altruism

DefinitionDoing something to benefit others at some personal cost

Kinds of Altruism

1. Reciprocal altruism - Pay it back2. Upstream altruismPay it forward

Altruism Benefits the Benefactor

1. Positive impact on adolescents

a. Better grades, positive emotion, confidenceb. Less substance abuse, pregnancy, delinquency

2. Benefits adults:

a. Improves health & longevity (more than exercise, ~ to smoking)b. Reduces illness, depression, & pain

c. Increases positive emotion (warm, energetic, meaning)

d. Giving help psychologically better than receiving it

3. Intention is critical

a. Loving-kindness meditation

DefinitionDoing something to benefit others at some personal cost

Kinds of Altruism1. Reciprocal altruism - Pay it back

2. Upstream altruismPay it forward

Altruism Benefits the Benefactor

1. Positive impact on adolescentsa. Better grades, positive emotion, confidence

b. Less substance abuse, pregnancy, delinquency

2. Benefits adults:

a. Improves health & longevity (more than exercise, ~ to smoking)b. Reduces illness, depression, & painc. Increases positive emotion (warm, energetic, meaning)

d. Giving help psychologically better than receiving it

3. Intention is critical (e.g. loving-kindness meditation)

Increases

1. Positive emotions

2. Mindfulness & concentration

3. Relationship satisfaction

4. Social connection/support

5. Meaning in life

6. Life satisfaction

Reduces

1. Depression

2. Illness symptoms

3. Pain

4. Anger


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OVERVIEW OF WELL-BEING

1. Full range of emotionsa. Authentic - Natural, not forced

b. Healthy balance - positivity ratio (3:1 to 11:1)

2. It involves skillsa. Anyone can learn & further develop them

b.No apparent limit

3. Awareness

a. Involves making intentionalchoices

b. Intentions direct attentionfind & createopportunities

4. Proactivea. Less reactive, passive (helplessness)

b. Becoming an active participantin your well-being

5. Reshape yourself- Brain & genes are altered (literally re-shapes you)

6. Subjectivestatea.Lessdependent on external conditions

b.Morebased on awareness, choices & skills/strengths

7. Making Progressa. Maybe small changes at first

b. Strategies become progressively easier to usec. Generalize to other situations

d. Mistakes are necessary for progress, not a lack of progresse. Persistence required to change habits - Results are worth it

8. Continued learning

a. You already know too much

b. Self-teaching


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FURTHER READING

Positive PsychologyGeneral

Sharon Begley. (2007). Train your mind, change your brain. New York: Ballantine.Carol Dweck. (2006).Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House.

Barbara Fredrickson.(2009).Positivity. New York: Crown Publishers.

Rick Foster and Greg Hicks. (2004).How we choose to be happy: The 9 choices of extremely

happy people.New York: Perigee Trade.

Awareness of Choice

William Glasser. (1998). Choice theory. New York: Harper Collins.Epictetus & Sharon Lebell (ed.) (1994). The art of living. San Fransisco: Harper Collins.

Gratitude

M.J. Ryan. (2000).Attitudes of gratitude. Newburyport, Massachusetts: Conari Press.Robert Emmons.(2007). Thanks!: How the new science of gratitude can make you happier.

Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

HumorAllen Klein. (1989). The healing power of humor. New York: Tarcher/Putnam.

Forgiveness

Robert D. Enright. (2001).Forgiveness is a choice. Washington, DC: American Psychological

Association.

Altruism and Elevation

Piero Ferrucci. (2006). The power of kindness. New York: Tarcher/Penguin.Stephen Post & Jill Neimark. (2007). Why good things happen to good people. New York:

Broadway.Mark Ian Barasch. (2009). The compassionate life: Walking the path of kindness. Berrett-

Koehler Publishers, Inc.

Self-Regulation

Ryan, M.J. (2003). The power of patience. New York: Broadway Books.

Spinella - Living Well - Strategies From Positive Psychology

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