Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com PRESENTATION HORRORS: DON’T DO THESE THINGS
Aug 23, 2014
Ian Lurie @portentint
www.portent.com
PRESENTATION HORRORS: DON’T DO THESE THINGS
NEW BOLD COLOR! Hi. I’m Ian Lurie. CEO of an overflowing-with-awesome internet marketing agency called Portent.
@portentint
NEW BOLD COLOR! This presentation is every bad thing I’ve ever done when creating a presentation. Read, learn, and avoid my embarrassing moments.
@portentint
NEW BOLD COLOR! It’s actually TWO presentations: First, the bad presentation. Then the same presentation, annotated.
@portentint
CATCHY TITLE WITH SQUARED FONTS
Ian Lurie @portentint
www.portent.com
WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE
SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint
SELF-PROMOTION
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SELF-PROMOTION
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SELF-PROMOTION
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WITTY ANECDOTE!
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NEW BOLD COLOR!
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SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU’LL HEAR
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LIST
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OF
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POINTS
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BUT NO BULLETS
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• Now I’m going to use bullets • So I can string stuff together • And because I got really tired • And because I didn’t rehearse, so I’m going to read this to
you
@portentint
• OK but now • I’m using bullets because • I know people will • want to read this later and remember • what I talked about
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COLORS USED RANDOMLY
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COLORS USED RANDOMLY
COLORS USED RANDOMLY
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F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO
I’LL DO IT MORE!!!
@portentint
OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT
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SELF-PROMOTION
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ACCIDENTAL
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ANIMATION
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DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Look! Drop shadows!!!
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JOKE ABOUT HOW IT’S JUST BEFORE/AFTER LUNCH/COFFEE/A BIG PARTY LAST NIGHT
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OBLIGTORY TYPO
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HEY, LET’S GET POLITICAL!!!!!
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LAST YEAR’S SLIDE
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ANOTHER LAYOUT AT RANDOM
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STOCK PHOTO TO ‘HUMANIZE’ PRESENTATION
BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS
BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS IMAGE SO I’M GOING TO USE IT DAMMIT.
@portentint
I FORGOT YOU USE 4:3
@portentint
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1 2 3 4 5
Foobly stuff
Foobly stuff
SELF-PROMOTION
@portentint
OHGODI’MOUTOFTIME SOIWILLRUSHTHROUGHTHELASTPARTSSOFASTYOULEARNNOTHING
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TANGENT RANT THING
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LOW-CONTRAST. IT’S ARTISTIC AND STUFF.
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DIFFERENT FONTS BECAUSE IT’S ARTISTIC TOO
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WTF??! THIS ISN’T KNOCKOUT BOLD!!!
@portentint
LOOK! I GOT ALL DESIGNY AND STUFF.
Ian Lurie @portentint
www.portent.com logo here
phone address
first-born male child’s name
CONTACT ME! PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE
@portentint
Let’s analyze this presentation, shall we?
CATCHY TITLE WITH SQUARED FONTS
I’m guilty of this.
Ian Lurie @portentint
www.portent.com
WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE
SELF-PROMOTION
OK, no problem
@portentint
SELF-PROMOTION
OK, no problem
@portentint
SELF-PROMOTION
Wait…
@portentint
SELF-PROMOTION
K now it’s becoming a problem. 5 minutes of self-promotion in a 30-minute presentation? Not OK.
@portentint
WITTY ANECDOTE!
Please, make it relevant
And not offensive
I once cracked a joke making fun of economists and their fashion choices. At an economics conference. Guess what? They didn’t laugh. I felt like an idiot for the rest of my talk. Oh, see that? That was an anecdote.
@portentint
NEW BOLD COLOR!
GAAAH My eyes!!!!
Try a natural color palette for starters
SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU’LL HEAR
I actually don’t suggest a summary
Try going naturally from one point to the next, instead
@portentint
LIST
@portentint
OF
You’re avoiding bullets. That’s great!!!!
But there is a place for bullets in presentations
@portentint
POINTS
Bullets are meant for lists
If you have a real list
@portentint
BUT NO BULLETS
So use bullets for lists
@portentint
Oy. This is bloody awful.
Don’t use bullets as punctuation, or to string thoughts together
• Now I’m going to use bullets • So I can string stuff together • And because I got really tired • And because I didn’t rehearse, so I’m going to read this to
you
@portentint
Still no.
Consider doing a separate annotated version (like what you’re reading now) instead.
• OK but now • I’m using bullets because • I know people will • want to read this later and remember • what I talked about
@portentint
COLORS USED RANDOMLY
@portentint
COLORS USED RANDOMLY
@portentint
COLORS USED RANDOMLY
Why? Use colors to delineate sections or different ideas
@portentint
F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO
I’LL DO IT MORE!!!
Not recommended,unless you can really pull it off and have the right audience.
The audience often laughs because they’re uncomfortable with you swearing like a sailor.
OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT
Please, no. Ask: Does it serve a communications purpose? No? Forget it.
SELF-PROMOTION
…
@portentint
ACCIDENTAL
@portentint
Whereever possible, keep text in the same position…
ANIMATION
@portentint
…from slide to slide. Don’t disrupt chain of thought.
DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Don’t ‘plow through’ material. Mix it up! Tell stories that support your point. Reinforce stuff.
@portentint
DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint
I have a habit of putting the cool stuff at the start and end, and then filling the middle with endless stuff. Don’t do that. Otherwise it goes on…
DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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…and on…
DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint
…and on.
DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint
Your stretched, blurred screen capture is not helpful. Be sure to get the original right.
DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint
Point out one thing per slide, not 5.
DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@portentint
Use drop shadows when they help, not because you can.
Look! Drop shadows!!!
@portentint
Here, the drop shadow blurs the text. Ew.
JOKE ABOUT HOW IT’S JUST BEFORE/AFTER LUNCH/COFFEE/A BIG PARTY LAST NIGHT
Yeah, none of us have EVER heard that one before. Avoid it if you can.
Again, I’m guilty of this one far too often.
OBLIGTORY TYPO
Can’t avoid ‘em all.
But at least proofread.
HEY, LET’S GET POLITICAL!!!!!
BE CAREFUL. Especially in the US. I’m a lefty pinko liberal
I only make political jokes after that disclaimer. And I poke fun at everyone.
LAST YEAR’S SLIDE
Don’t do 100% exact repetition. Always bring something new to a repeat presentation.
@portentint
ANOTHER LAYOUT
Use alternate layouts to delineate or emphasize ideas. Not to ‘make it interesting.’
AT RANDOM You make it interesting. Not your slides.
@portentint
STOCK PHOTO TO ‘HUMANIZE’ PRESENTATION
Were all these people grown in vats?
Your audience will not connect with this image unless they’re clones. Don’t use stock images unless they’re truly relevant and approachable.
BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS You’ve already blinded your audience with the optic yellow background. Keep some contrast w/ a transparent fill, or something. Anything.
BETCHA CAN’T READ THIS
Images must serve a purpose: Elicit an emotional response, or illustrate a specific idea. Don’t use them just because.
I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS IMAGE SO I’M GOING TO USE IT DAMMIT.
I FORGOT YOU USE 4:3
Check your slide dimensions against your A/V setup. Otherwise, hilarity may ensue.
@portentint
I have no words. Just go read this presentation, instead.
0
10
20
30
40
50
60
1 2 3 4 5
Foobly stuff
Foobly stuff
SELF-PROMOTION
…
@portentint
OHGODI’MOUTOFTIMESOIWILLRUSHTHROUGHTHELASTPARTSSOFASTYOULEARNNOTHING
For Heaven’s sake: Rehearse. Get your timing right.
@portentint
TANGENT RANT THING
Sometimes, this is OK. I don’t suggest riffing on health care at a marketing conference, though.
@portentint
Seriously?
@portentint
LOW-CONTRAST. IT’S ARTISTIC AND STUFF.
This might be invisible on a projector.
@portentint
DIFFERENT FONTS BECAUSE IT’S ARTISTIC TOO
Don’t make your slide look like a ransom note. Unless that’s what you want.
@portentint
WTF??! THIS ISN’T KNOCKOUT BOLD!!!
You used a special font, didn’t you? Now you get to read your presentation in poorly formatted Times.
Bring copies of your fonts, or use a ‘safe’ font. A nice list here.
LOOK! I GOT ALL DESIGNY AND STUFF.
If you know how to do a good gradient, cool! Go for it. But it’s important to recognize your design limitations and stay within them.
If you want, I’ll show you my presentation stick figures sometime…
Ian Lurie @portentint
www.portent.com logo here
phone address
first-born male child’s name
CONTACT ME! PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE
When you list 12 different ways for folks to contact you, it just confuses them, and maybe sounds a little desperate…? Keep it simple: E-mail, Twitter, maybe website.
NEW BOLD COLOR! Here’s my point: Your presentation has a purpose. Everything you put in it should work towards that purpose. So be clear. Only use what you need. And create for your audience, not for you.
@portentint
Ian Lurie @portentint
www.portent.com
HAVE I COMMITTED OTHER PRESENTATION HORRORS? YES. PAY ME, AND I MIGHT TELL YOU. I ACCEPT PAYMENTS IN CHOCOLATE AND CASH.
Oh, also: Don’t try to extort your audience.
Ian Lurie @portentint
www.portent.com
OTHER PRESENTATIONS I’VE DONE (PRETTY MUCH HORROR-FREE)