POVELL´$ ´HMP´s newspaper Pavel, Ondra, Verča, Evča, Lukáš, Lenča´ $ ´Hanča, Milan, Pája´s newspaper Bye bye swine influenza –page 1 The urinal man – page.

POVELL´POVELL´$$ ´HMP´s ´HMP´s newspapernewspaper

Pavel, Ondra, Verča, Evča, Lukáš, Lenča´ $ ´Hanča, Milan, Pája´s newspaper

Bye bye swine influenza –page 1

The urinal man – page 2

Mountain climber saved – page 3

Usian bolt on Zlatá Tetra – page 4

Tina Turner in the Czech Republic – page 5

Couple arrested for sex on the lawn at Windsor Castle – page 6

Horoscope - Today characterization of signs – pages 7,8

Monthly horoscope – pages 9,10,11

Funny pages – 12,13

Weather and television – page 14

Bye bye swine influenza• Nové Město na Moravě – After the first ill person in the Czech Republic,

everybody was afraid of the swine influenza. Now there’s no reason to be stressed about it. A team of doctors and scientists in Nové Město na Moravě solved this little pandemics problem. The solution is that all pigs will disappear in salamis. The virus of the swine influenza can’t infect any animal or human from salami. If a pig is your pet or a close friend, doctors don’t recommend to eat or play much with you darling. Since next month all the ill people will have been living in special camps. Because of their weakness they will only write their memories and experience with the disease. When the pandemics is over, all the memories will be printed in a limited edition in this newspaper. Next Friday, the team of Nové Město scientists will get a very important price called Big Brain.

paw-

The urinal man• The Czech Republic - Jan Hénec (21) is from now on called only the urinal

man. He is very a demonstrative fan of the FC Horovice football team. Last Monday, as usual, he went to the football match. Everything went right till the moment when his favourite players started to lose. In that moment he got angry and went away. He said: „I wasn’t able to watch it… I had to do something.“ And as he said he did. He returned back after a few minutes and carried a urinal made from porcelaine. The opponent players were shocked. They even forgot that they were playing the match. Martin Hénec, Jan’s brother took advantage of this situation and scored two goals. Jan Hénec told us: „It was not my plan but I’m proud of myself. And I like my new nickname!“

Leny

Mountain climber saved• Nepal - Last week we told you that our Czech mountain climber

Martin Minařík got lost in the Himalayas and had no chances to survive. Today, our fear is away because of one Russian witch who had developed a new flying technology which was able to overcome such bad conditions as storm and slides. When she heard about the tragedy of the Czech poor man she decided to undertake the situation. And that was the right decision. She found Martin overcooled and totally tired. She brought him on her extra-motor-broom to the nearest hospital. Now, Martin is nearly healthy and he’s thinking of a fee for this unnamed witch. We detected that the lowest value of the fee is planned about § 2,000,000. And what do you think, how much does your life cost?

Hančulinda

Surprise: Usian Bolt on Zlatá tretra

• The Czech Republic - The most famous athletic sprinter of these days will arrive to Zlatá tretra in Ostrava to compete with other world athletes. The fastest man in the world has decided to go there to try how fast he is in comparison with his opponents. He is also going to beat world record on 100 metres track and 200 metres track as well. Usian Bolt says: „It is possible to defeat 9,4 seconds on 100 metres track and I will do it. I don't know if the world record will became real in Ostrava but I promise that this season will be very fast“. The starting bill for Bolt is about 200 000 American dollars. Everybody is welcome in Ostrava.

Yasek

Tina Turner in the Czech Republic• The Czech Republic - On Monday Tina Turner

entered the stage on O2 Arena in Prague. Rock virago who is nearly one hundred fifty years old missed only several concerts from two hundred concerts. This tour is called Tina loves the Czech Republic. Tina visited Leoš Mareš- the Czech president and she gave him 10 million dollars to buy a new Ferrari. This tour started on the 1st October in American Kansas City. During last year Tina Turner was travelling by an air car through thirty- seven stops in USA and Canada. All the concerts were sold and the profit from 474 000 sold tickets was 100 million dollars. American star accompanies seventy musicians and thirty singers. And after the concert there was a fire show with a man who swam in the fire and after that he emitted fire from his eyes and ears. Tina Turner sang songs as Private Dancer or The Best and hits from Eva and Vašek and in the end there was our national anthem.

Vera

Couple arrested for having sex on the lawn

at Windsor Castle London - Queen Elizabeth II was at home at Windsor Castle, the sentries who guard her were on duty,

and the large park surrounding the magnificent building was full of tourists on a Sunday afternoon.So it didn't take long for people to realize that something was out of order when an drunk couple

arrived from a nearby restaurant and began having sex on the grass bank outside the castle, according to witnesses.

"One window from the guardroom opened up and when a soldier saw what was going on he told his mates — and lots of windows opened up," witness Mark Robinson told: "The couple did not care who was looking and just kept going as if they were in their own bedroom."

Japanese tourists filmed the couple, who only stopped when police officers arrived on the scene, witnesses said.

Thames Valley Police said the man and woman were arrested and given a written warning about outraging public decency.

The Queen was in the castle at the time and she was very horrified by it.Gregi

Horoscope Today characterization of signs• VIRGO - The Perfectionist

Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

• SCORPIO - The Intense OneVery energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

• LIBRA - The HarmonizerNice to everyone they meet. Can’t make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

• ARIES - The DaredevilEnergetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

• AQUARIUS - The SweetheartOptimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

• GEMINI - The ChatterboxSmart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, but is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.

• LEO - The BossVery organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leo s. Attractive.

• CANCER - The ProtectorMoody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

• PISCES - The DreamerGenerous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don’t like details Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

• CAPRICORN - The Go-GetterPatient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.

• TAURUS - The Enduring OneCharming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

• SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky OneGood-natured optimist. Doesn’t want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn’t like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn’t like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn’t like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

Monthly horoscope• Aries• Taking on ambitious projects around the home works well for you this month. Family life can be hectic, either due

to increased domestic activities or cantankerous family members. Work is mixed with pleasure, perhaps through love opportunities on the job, parties or increased socializing, and efforts to make your work environment more pleasant. Opportunity periods arrive on the 15-17th, when you are able to attract who and what you want into your life. Partnerships require extra attention.

•  Taurus While you continue to focus on having fun, flirting, and enjoying hobbies this month, May is more balanced when it

comes to work and play. You are taking more pride in the work you do, and pouring over details is actually enjoyable for you. Support, whether it’s financial or moral, comes from your superiors. Tensions between your conflicting needs for friendship and intimacy with a partner re-surface. The 3-4 is excellent for all partnerships, business and personal, and the 13-14 brings a new sense of order into your life.

• Gemini The first half of May is especially productive and smooth-flowing for you, Gemini. Others are pleased with you

exactly as you are, and you don’t need to prove anything to anyone! Enjoying your hobbies, beautifying the home or redecorating, and recreation are all favoured. You have been somewhat indifferent about business affairs and finances, but your ambition is stimulated now. Some tension between your attention to a partner and to your career arises, as you can be torn between enjoying your relationship and tending to practical matters.

• Cancer It’s time to put your plans into action, and you are filled with the energy and gumption to do just that. Life speeds up

for you, and others close to you might notice you are atypically self-involved. That’s just fine--it’s time that you thought of what you really want from life. You may jump into something impulsively, or do something you have always wanted to do but haven't had the chance to act out. Competitive activities are favoured this month. Work could involve travelling or teaching, and career opportunities knock at your door.

• Leo The desire or need to tighten your belt with spending is in focus. Try to schedule important financial transactions in

the first half of the month. You have a finger in many pies in May. The phone could be ringing off the hook, you may be running more errands, or you could be inundated with emails and paper work. Your energy levels are lower than usual, however, so rest is in order. Your love life improves via a meeting of minds on most subjects, but it’s important to take things step by step.

•  Virgo You are more conscious of making a good impression on others as well as making peace with people close to you this

month. You are stronger and more reliable, and others easily put their faith in you. You could have an admirer, and there‘s nothing “secret“ about it! A strong opportunity period for you occurs from the 16-19th, when your powers of attraction are high and when you could receive a gift or income boost. Activities requiring team efforts are highlighted. Money from business income is strong. Working from home is successful.

•  Libra Your career and professional life pick up speed this month. You are more ambitious than usual, and less cooperative

when it comes to taking orders! Try not to be too demanding with co-workers--they‘re simply not working at the same speed as you. Happiness is not dependent on others this month--it’s you who is creating it. Your love life becomes deliciously private now--compassion and some personal sacrifices are in order. Secret admirers could be part of the picture. Harmony in love peaks from the 15-17th. A friend or group leans on you mid-month.

• Scorpio You enjoy a special fondness for your friends this month, as well as for anything new and unusual. Nevertheless,

privacy and down time will be needed in order to regroup. Wrapping up projects and efforts that have run their natural course is in order. Harmony in love is most explicit on the 2-4th. You are turned to as an authority and looked upon favourably by superiors on the 19-20th. A partner has an important declaration, or requires special attention, around the 26th.

• Sagittarius

Your love life is especially intimate and perhaps intense this month, dear Sagittarius. You encounter people who stir up powerful feelings inside you. Nevertheless, you are expressing yourself and your ideas spiritedly this month, and attempts at pinning you down could be fruitless! Career matters are in strong focus, as the need to deal with practical matters, as well as problems from the past, becomes insistent. You are beginning a long-term trend that points to a period of fruition, greater responsibilities, and recognition in your professional life.

•  Capricorn

Others are recognizing you as an authority this month, Capricorn. Honesty in your dealings is critical, as it is very hard to escape attention now! Taking a trip or embarking on an adventure with a loved one is indicated in May. Singles might find themselves attracted to people of a different cultural or emotional background than them. Romantic expression is excellent all month. Your close personal relationships can be fiery, demanding, and stimulating. Aquarius

• Much of your energy is poured into work, taking care of the little details of life, and health or fitness regimes in May. Financial gains can come from others, or benefits may be realized through marriage and partnerships. Activities with the outside world rather than home and family tend to dominate. You could impress others with a creative solution to a problem on the job. In fact, your mind is in top shape and it will be necessary to show patience towards those who are not moving at the same speed as you!

• Pisces

This is a month for romance, intense feelings, and the pursuit of emotional fulfillment for you, Pisces. While partnership matters are more serious now, you are determined to experience more depth and intensity through others, and this energy suits you just fine. You could be spending more money on entertainment, leisure, hobbies, and children in October. However, avoid speculation from the 7-11th, when your decision-making skills could be compromised and your tendency to act on impulse is high. Recognition and reward through your profession arrives in the last week of the month.

see son..this is why I save these bits

Weather and television program