Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 1 ACT 1, Scene 1 – ALMAELOU MUSIC CORP. OFFICE 1 2 Albert: (on phone) I know that, sir, but… 3 4 General: (on phone) Think of the disastrous effect this might have on the morale of the 5 American teenager! 6 7 Albert: But… 8 9 General: Are you suggesting that Conrad Birdie doesn’t want to go into the army??!! 10 11 Albert: No, sir. It’s just that… (picks up copy of song) 12 13 General: He’s going, and he’s going two weeks from today! 14 15 Albert: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. He’ll be there… (hangs up) Why? Why did they have to draft him? 16 Just when I finally write a song he’s going to do: the title song of his next picture “Mumbo 17 Jumbo Gooey Gumbo”. Now there isn’t going to be a picture! (tears up song) 18 19 Bookkeeper: Albert, I have your financial statement, if you really want it. Total assets 20 $312.08. (Albert starts to choke on pills) Liabilities $4,030.00. (gets up) Confidentially, 21 you’re a fiscal fiasco. Goodbye, Albert. (gets hat and starts to leave) 22 23 Albert: In six years, I never sold a single song. It’s just that I’m my momma’s sole source of 24 support. I wasted every cent my father left on the Almaelou Music Corporation… 25 26 Bookkeeper: It’s not your fault! Your mother wants you to be a songwriter! You could make 27 a good living as a teacher… 28 29 Albert: (shocked, nervous): Well, but, momma’s sensitive. When I upset her, she faints. 30 31 Bookkeeper: But you love poetry, and you could make a great living teaching English. 32 33 Albert: English, English, you sound like Rosie. (looks around) Hey, where is she anyway? 34 She was supposed to be here an hour ago… (Rosie enters briskly) 35 Rosie, this is the end of Almaelou! Conrad Birdie is going into the Army! 36 37 Rosie: And your faithful secretary is hereby submitting (slaps down letter) her resignation! 38 39 Albert: What? 40 Rosie: I just dropped in to say goodbye, Albert, darling. Lots of luck! (blows kiss, turns) 41 42 Albert: Rosie, you can’t! Not today of all days! (Runs back to desk, looks through drawers.) 43 My pills, where are my pills… the little ones I take when I’m overwrought. 44 45 Bookkeeper: (Picks up bottle from the desk, opens it, and hands him one.) Here. 46
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Transcript
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 1
ACT 1, Scene 1 – ALMAELOU MUSIC CORP. OFFICE 1
2 Albert: (on phone) I know that, sir, but… 3
4
General: (on phone) Think of the disastrous effect this might have on the morale of the 5
American teenager! 6
7
Albert: But… 8
9
General: Are you suggesting that Conrad Birdie doesn’t want to go into the army??!! 10
11
Albert: No, sir. It’s just that… (picks up copy of song) 12
13
General: He’s going, and he’s going two weeks from today! 14
15
Albert: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. He’ll be there… (hangs up) Why? Why did they have to draft him? 16
Just when I finally write a song he’s going to do: the title song of his next picture “Mumbo 17
Jumbo Gooey Gumbo”. Now there isn’t going to be a picture! (tears up song) 18
19
Bookkeeper: Albert, I have your financial statement, if you really want it. Total assets 20
$312.08. (Albert starts to choke on pills) Liabilities $4,030.00. (gets up) Confidentially, 21
you’re a fiscal fiasco. Goodbye, Albert. (gets hat and starts to leave) 22
23
Albert: In six years, I never sold a single song. It’s just that I’m my momma’s sole source of 24
support. I wasted every cent my father left on the Almaelou Music Corporation… 25
26
Bookkeeper: It’s not your fault! Your mother wants you to be a songwriter! You could make 27
a good living as a teacher… 28
29
Albert: (shocked, nervous): Well, but, momma’s sensitive. When I upset her, she faints. 30
31
Bookkeeper: But you love poetry, and you could make a great living teaching English. 32
33
Albert: English, English, you sound like Rosie. (looks around) Hey, where is she anyway? 34
She was supposed to be here an hour ago… (Rosie enters briskly) 35
Rosie, this is the end of Almaelou! Conrad Birdie is going into the Army! 36
37
Rosie: And your faithful secretary is hereby submitting (slaps down letter) her resignation! 38
39
Albert: What? 40
Rosie: I just dropped in to say goodbye, Albert, darling. Lots of luck! (blows kiss, turns) 41
42
Albert: Rosie, you can’t! Not today of all days! (Runs back to desk, looks through drawers.) 43
My pills, where are my pills… the little ones I take when I’m overwrought. 44
45
Bookkeeper: (Picks up bottle from the desk, opens it, and hands him one.) Here. 46
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 2
Albert: Not so much. Break it in half. 47
48
Rosie: You’re thirty-three years old, Albert. You can take a whole aspirin. (He takes one) 49
50
Albert: I am not thirty-three! I won’t be thirty-three until tomorrow… (gasping) Water! 51
Bookkeeper pours and hands him the glass) 52
53
Rosie: It’s no use, Albert. I’ve spent eight years on “Project Albert.” 54
55
Albert: (moans, starts to sway dizzily, Bookkeeper tries to be ready to catch him): If it’s part 56
of the company you’re after, the answer is no. Any change would kill my Momma. 57
58
Bookkeeper: Nothing could kill your mother, Albert. 59
60
Rosie: Except maybe a silver bullet. 61
62
Bookkeeper: There’s nothing to discuss, Rosie. Conrad Birdie’s going into the army. 63
64
Rosie: And I’ve quit. (to Albert) You have to go back to college and get your… 65
66
Albert: (hands on ears) Rosie, I’m up to my ears in debt! And I’ve just taken a severe 67
overdose of aspirin. (faints in chair provided by Bookkeeper) 68
69
Bookkeeper: Albert, this may be your last chance. Listen to me, Albert… 70
71
No. 3: An English Teacher 72 Bookkeeper: HIS GOING IN THE ARMY IS THE BEST THING HE COULD DO. 73
74
Rosie: NOW YOU’RE FREE TO DO WHAT YOU WANTED TO, 75
76
Both: ALBERT, ALBERT, AL---BERT…! 77
78
Both: IT WAS ONLY A SIDELINE, THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID. 79
YOU JUST NEEDED SOME MONEY, THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID. 80
YOU WERE GOING TO COLLEGE AND GET AHEAD, 81
INSTEAD OF BEING A MUSIC BUSINESS BUM, 82
YOU WERE GOING TO N.Y.U. AND BECOME… (she runs to open door) 83
An English teacher! (Albert rushes to door and closes it) 84
85
Rosie: (backing him to center stage) And in the NYU yearbook for 1952, under “Albert 86
Peterson’s favorite piece of literature,” you know what it says? (shows it to Bookkeeper) 87
88
Albert: (groans) 89
Rosie and Bookkeeper: Little Women! 90
91
Albert: (sinks into chair) I’m ruined in show business. 92
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 3
Rosie: AN ENGLISH TEACHER, AN ENGLISH TEACHER, 93
IF ONLY YOU’D BEEN AN ENGLISH TEACHER, 94
WE’D HAVE A LITTLE APARTMENT IN QUEENS 95
YOU’D GET A SUMMER VACATION 96
AND WE WOULD KNOW WHAT LIFE MEANS. 97
98
Bookkeeper: A MAN WHO’S GOT HIS MASTERS IS REALLY SOMEONE. 99
HOW PROUD WE’D BE IF YOU HAD BECOME ONE! 100
101
Rosie: IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE 102
I COULD HAVE BEEN MRS PETERSON, MRS. ALBERT PETERSON, 103
MRS. PHI BETA KAPPA PETERSON, THE ENGLISH TEACHER’S WIFE. 104
105
Albert: (Suddenly rising) Rose, I’ll make a deal with you! Stay with me, and as soon as I’m 106
out of the red, I’ll dissolve the company and go back to the academic life! 107
108
Rosie: Albert, you’re on! (She goes to her desk and takes out a small file folder.) 109
110
Albert: Of course, it may take awhile, but I’m sure that by 1973 or ’74 at the latest, 111
we’ll… (Rosie opens a file, pulls a card, and slams it on his desk.) What’s that? 112
113
Rosie: I have a plan: something that’s going to push that date up a few years. (reads card) 114
MacAfee. Kim MacAfee. Age 15, president and recording secretary, Conrad Birdie Fan Club 115
number 2748 of Sweet Apple, Ohio. (picks up the phone) Mary? (they all freeze) 116
117
SPLIT SCENE – ABOVE and STAGE LEFT, FRONT 118 Ursula: Hello? 119
Kim: Hello, Urs? This is Kim. And if I don’t tell somebody, I’m just going to burst! So, 120
Ursula, you are the very first to know. I just got pinned by Hugo Peabody! 121
Ursula: Oh, no! Kim MacAfee, you didn’t! You really got pinned? You mean you and 122
Hugo have a (sighs) permanent understanding? 123
Kim: Uh-huh! Oh, it’s Hugo and I, forever. 124
Mary: Yes, Miss Alvarez? 125
126
Rosie: Mary, would you get me Sweet Apple, Ohio. 127
128
Mary: Yes, Ma’am. Do you have the number? 129
130
Rosie: I have it right here: the number’s (reads slowly from card) …Capitol 7 131
double 8, 2, Zero. Sweet Apple, Ohio. And call me right back. (hangs up) 132
133
Albert: (rising and looking into the phone) Now wait a minute! What’s going on here? Who’s 134
Kim What-ever-her-name is? 135
136
Rosie: Kim MacAfee, Albert, is what’s going to send you back to college with the 137
biggest hit song this business has ever seen! It’s called “One Last Kiss.” 138
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 4
Albert and Bookkeeper: I’ve never heard of it. 139
140
Rosie: (to audience) He hasn’t written it, yet. (Leads Albert to piano and seats him.) 141
But when you do… 142
and when that “one last kiss” is from Conrad Birdie on his way into the big cold army 143
for two long years… 144
and when he gives that “one last kiss” to one of his fans chosen at random from 145
one million hysterical teenagers… 146
it’ll make Mr. Birdie the hottest soldier since Joan of Arc! 147
148
Albert: (he rises) Rose, I’m beginning to see it! We cut the record here in New York… 149
150
Rosie: (she pushes him back down) Take Conrad Birdie to Sweet Apple, Ohio. 151
152
Albert: (he rises again) Let him kiss the kid… 153
154
Rosie: (she pushes him down again) And release the record! (she crosses to sit at desk) 155
156
Bookkeeper: Why, you’ll make enough money to stay in college for the rest of your life! 157
158
Albert: I promise you, as soon as this thing is settled, it’ll be just the two of us, Rose! 159
In perfect bliss… (chime sounds) Bliss! Kiss! That rhymes! I wonder if anyone’s ever used 160
it before? Oh what difference does it make? 161
(sings) Oh one last kiss; it gives me so much bliss… I love your dentifrice… 162
No, that’s too clinical… (he writes furiously at the piano for the rest of the scene) 163
164
Rosie: (phone rings) Yes? 165
166
Mary: (on phone) I can’t reach her, Ma’am. The lines are jammed. 167
168
Rosie: Well, every phone in Sweet Apple, Ohio can’t be busy; what’s going on there? 169
170
Mary: Kim MacAfee just got pinned to (muffled) Hugh Peabody… 171
172
Rosie: She got pinned to who? 173
174
Mary: To Hugh! 175
176
Rosie: To who?! Never mind, Mary, keep trying and call me back. (hangs up) 177
THEN WE WOULD HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE 178
THEN I MIGHT BE MRS. PETERSON, MRS ALBERT PETERSON, 179
MRS. PHI BETA KAPPA PETERSON, THE ENGLISH TEACHER’S WIFE. 180
181
[Blackout]182
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 5
ACT 1, Scene 2 – SWEET APPLE PHONE LIMBO 183
184
No. 4: The Telephone Hour (Sweet Apple Teen Chorus) 185 Helen: HI NANCY! 186
Nancy: HI HELEN! 187
Helen: WHAT’S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? 188
Nancy: WHAT’S THE TALE, NIGHTINGALE? 189
TELL ME QUICK ABOUT HUGO AND KIM. 190
191 Alice: HI MARGIE! 192
Margie: HI ALICE! WHAT’S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? 193
Alice: WHAT’S THE WORD, HUMMINGBIRD 194
HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT HUGO AND KIM? 195
196
Helen, Nancy, Alice, Margie: 197 DID THEY REALLY GET PINNED? 198
DID SHE KISS HIM AND CRY? DID HE PIN THE PIN ON? 199
OR WAS HE TOO SHY? 200
WELL I HEARD THEY GOT PINNED… 201
202
Dwight, Fred, Karl, Jerry: YEAH, YEAH. 203
Helen, Nancy, Alice, Margie: I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD… 204
Dwight, Fred, Karl, Jerry: UH, HUH. 205
Helen, Nancy, Alice, Margie: NOW THEY’RE LIVING AT LAST… 206
Dwight, Fred, Karl, Jerry: HE’S GONE! 207
Helen, Nancy, Alice, Margie: GOING STEADY FOR GOOD! 208
209
Harvey: 210 HELLO MR. HENKEL, THIS IS HARVEY JOHNSON, 211
CAN I SPEAK TO PENELOPE ANN? 212
Penelope: IS IT TRUE ABOUT KIM? 213
Harvey: Penelope? 214
Penelope: I JUST KNEW IT SOMEHOW. 215
Harvey: About the prom. 216
Penelope: I MUST CALL HER RIGHT UP! 217
Harvey: Saturday? 218
Penelope: I CAN’T TALK TO YOU NOW. 219
220 Girls: GOING STEADY Boys: YOU KNOW IT MAN 221
Girls: GOING STEADY Boys: IT’S CRAZY MAN 222
Girls: GOING STEADY Boys: YOU KNOW IT 223
224
Suzie: IT WON’T LAST 225
April: NOT AT ALL 226
Betty: HE’S TOO THIN* 227
Clara: SHE’S TOO TALL* *we might alter these lines 228
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 6
Harvey: HELLO MRS. MILLER, THIS IS HARVEY JOHNSON 229
CAN I SPEAK TO DEBRA SUE? 230
231
Boys: HIYA HUGO, HIYA STUPID, WHATCHA WANNA GO GET PINNED FOR? 232
Girls: WELL I HEARD THEY GOT PINNED Boys: HEY YA MEATHEAD 233
Girls: I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD Boys: LOST YOUR MARBLES 234
Girls: NOW THEY’RE LIVING AT LAST Boys: ARE YOU NUTTY 235
Girls: GOING STEADY FOR… 236
237 Harvey: HELLO MRS. GARFEIN, 238
IS CHARITY HOME FROM SCHOOL YET? (Light on Charity, who talks to him) 239
240
NHAMP: DID THEY REALLY GET PINNED 241
SABC+: GOING STEADY 242
Boys: SHE SAW HIM 243
NHAMP: I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD 244
SABC+: GOING STEADY 245
Boys: SHE DUG HIM 246
NHAMP: NOW THEY’RE LIVING AT LAST 247
SABC+: GOING STEADY 248
Boys: SHE NAILED HIM 249
Girls: GOING STEADY FOR GOOD 250
251
Boys: IF YOU GOTTA GO, THAT’S THE WAY TO GO 252
WHEN THEY GOT YA HOOKED, Boys: THEN YOU’RE REALLY COOKED! 253
WHATCHA GONNA DO, WHACHA GONNA DO? 254
255
Girls: OOOOOH! 256
Girls: WELL I HEARD THEY GOT PINNED, Boys: OH, MAN! 257
Girls: I WAS THINKING THEY WOULD. Boys: OH, MAN! 258
Girls: NOW THEY’RE LIVIN’ AT LAST, Boys: OH… 259
All: GOING STEADY FOR GOOD! 260
GOING STEADY…STEADY FOR GOOD! 261
Charity: HE’S IN LOVE WITH KIM, KIM’S IN LOVE WITH HIM 262
263 Boys (girls in parentheses): GOING STEADY (WE-ELL) 264
GOING STEADY (WELL), GOING STEADY (DOO-OO-OO) 265
STEADY FOR GOOD (TELL), GOING STEADY (WE-ELL) 266
GOING STEADY (WELL), GOING STEADY (DOO-OO-OO) 267
STEADY FOR GOOD (TELL) 268
269
Low voices (high voices in parentheses): 270 THAT’S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE (OH YEAH) 271
THEY’LL BE HAPPY I KNOW (OH YEAH) 272
GOING STEADY’S FOR ME (OH YEAH), THAT’S THE WAY IT SHOULD GO. 273
All: GOING STEADY, GOING STEADY, STEADY FOR GOOD, OH…YEAH! 274
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 7
ACT 1, Scene 3 – Ursula on phone & MacAfee House 275
276 Ursula: (on phone) Kim MacAfee, what do you mean you’re resigning from the Fan Club? I 277
mean just because Hugo Peabody gave you his pin doesn’t mean you have to retire from all 278
social life! (Mrs. MacAfee picks up the phone as well) 279
280
Kim: (on phone) I’m sorry, Ursula, but my mind’s made up. Of course, I’ll still play his 281
records, but things like the Conrad Birdie Scream are past me now. 282
283
Ursula: You’re giving up the scream? You mean when Conrad Birdie sings on 284
television, you’re not going to go “AAHHHH!!!!!!!!!” (tragically) Oh, Kim! 285
286
Mrs. MacAfee: (hangs up and calls to her daughter) Kim dear, would you please get off the 287
phone? I’ve got some calls to make. 288
289
Kim: (calls to her) All right, Mother! (then back into phone) 290
Sorry Ursula, I’ve got to hang up. You’ll explain everything to the other kids, won’t you? 291
(Mrs. MacAfee picks up phone) 292
293
Ursula: I suppose I’ll have to. Bye, Kim… wait! Kim, are you sure? I mean after all! I mean 294
really, Kim, are you absolutely sure? 295
296
Kim: After all, I’m fifteen years old and it’s time I settled down. Goodbye, Urs! (hangs up) 297
298
No. 6: How Lovely to be a Woman 299 HOW LOVELY TO BE A WOMAN, THE WAIT WAS WELL WORTHWHILE. 300
HOW LOVELY TO WEAR MASCARA AND SMILE A WOMAN’S SMILE 301
HOW LOVELY TO HAVE A FIGURE, THAT’S ROUND INSTEAD OF FLAT. 302
WHENEVER YOU HEAR BOYS WHISTLE, 303
YOU’RE WHAT THEY’RE WHISTLING AT! 304
305
IT’S WONDERFUL TO FEEL THE WAY A WOMAN FEELS 306
IT GIVES YOU SUCH A GLOW JUST TO KNOW 307
YOU’RE WEARING LIPSTICK AND HEELS. 308
309
HOW LOVELY TO BE A WOMAN AND HAVE ONE JOB TO DO: 310
TO PICK OUT A BOY AND TRAIN HIM AND THEN WHEN YOU ARE THROUGH 311
YOU’VE MADE HIM THE MAN YOU WANT HIM TO BE. 312
LIFE’S LOVELY WHEN YOU’RE A WOMAN LIKE ME! 313
314
HOW WONDERFUL TO KNOW THE THINGS A WOMAN KNOWS. 315
HOW MARVELOUS TO WAIT FOR A DATE IN SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES. 316
HOW LOVELY TO BE A WOMAN AND CHANGE FROM BOYS TO MEN, 317
AND GO TO A FANCY NIGHT CLUB AND STAY OUT AFTER TEN. 318
HOW LOVELY TO BE SO GROWN UP AND FREE. 319
LIFE’S LOVELY WHEN YOU’RE A WOMAN LIKE ME! 320
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 8
Mrs. MacAfee: (hangs up, phone rings immediately) Hello? Kim, there’s a call for you. The 321
operator said she’s been trying to get through for nearly three quarters of an hour! 322
(she shrugs at Mr. MacAfee, who is reading the paper.) 323
324
Kim: Thank you, Doris. I’ll get it. 325
326
Mrs. MacAfee: She said it was long distance and I can’t imagine who… What did you say? 327
328
Kim: I said thank you, Doris. There’s no need to look so upset. It’s modern to call your 329
mother by her first name. It makes the mother and daughter more like pals. 330
331
Mrs. MacAfee: And your father? (still holding out phone, looking shocked) 332
333
Kim: I’ll call him Harry, naturally. (she walks around the room, patting her father on the 334
shoulder: he looks up from the paper, mutters “yeah,” and laughs mirthlessly) By the way, I 335
think Harry took the news about Hugo and I awfully well, don’t you, Doris? 336
(Mrs. Macafee has to sit down. Kim takes the phone.) This is she. Yes, I’ll wait. 337
338
Mrs. MacAfee: Yesterday I was a mother. Today I’m a pal. (gets up, stands behind Harry) 339
Are you sure you wouldn’t like to call me Mom? That’s modern. 340
341
Kim: I’m sorry, but times are changing. (then casually) Doris, dear, you’ve got to go along 342
with them or be left behind with the old folks! (parents exit, shaking heads) 343
344
Kim: (she has been listening on the phone, transforming from a poised woman into a dazed 345
child: she speaks to the phone receiver in a very small voice) Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you. 346
(hangs up – then realizes…) 347
Conrad Birdie… is coming here… to kiss me? 348
(weakly) Doris. (a bit louder) Mother. (a shout) MOMMY!!!! 349
350
Mrs. MacAfee: (runs in and embraces her) BABY!!! What is it? What’s wrong? 351
352
Kim: (gasping) Birdie… Conrad… here coming kiss to me! 353
354
Mrs. MacAfee: That’s nice, dear. Now you just put your head on Mommy’ shoulder… 355
356
Kim: You don’t understand! Conrad Birdie is coming here to Sweet Apple to kiss me 357
goodbye! Oh, Mommy, Mommy! 358
359
Mrs. MacAfee: I never thought I’d say it… but God bless Conrad Birdie! (Kim screams…) 360
361
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 9
ACT 1, Scene 4 – Penn Station, New York City 362
363
No. 7: We Love You, Conrad 364 NYC Girls, led by Daisy: WE LOVE YOU CONRAD, OH YES WE DO. 365
WE LOVE YOU CONRAD, AND WE’LL BE TRUE. 366
WHEN YOU’RE NOT NEAR US, WE’RE BLUE! OH, CONRAD, WE LOVE YOU! 367
368
Albert: Hello, ladies! Sorry I’m late. Now let’s go over the “Birdie Song” once more before 369
we go down to the train. One, two, three… (he starts conducting, nothing happens) 370
371
Daisy: Yes, sir, Mr. Peterson! Ah right girls, pep up! One two three… 372
373
Girls: WE LOVE YOU CONRAD, OH YES WE DO. WE LOVE YOU CONRAD… 374
375
Albert: (sees sad girl - Joanie) Oh, young lady, you can sing with us if you want. 376
377
Joanie: No, thank you. 378
379
Albert: What’s the matter with her? 380
381
Daisy: Oh, she’s just sad because Conrad Birdie’s going into the army, and she’ll be too old 382
for him when he gets out. 383
384
Joanie: (sighs) What’s the point? 385
386
Lucy: Mr. Peterson, Joanie’s been like this for three days! 387
388
Cathy: We’ve done everything to try to make her feel better! 389
390
Albert: Let me see what I can do. (Albert approaches Joanie.) 391
Hi! I’m Albert Peterson, Conrad’s manager. Come on now, that’s not way to be. 392
Things can’t be that bad. Smile! 393
Little girl, this is an adult speaking! I order you to smile! Please? (sings) 394
395
No. 8: Put On a Happy Face 396 Albert: GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP, PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. 397
BRUSH OFF THE CLOUDS AND CHEER UP, PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. 398
TAKE OF THE GLOOMY MASK OF TRAGEDY, IT’S NOT YOUR STYLE. 399
YOU’LL LOOK SO GOOD THAT YOU’LL BE GLAD, YOU DECIDED TO SMILE! 400
401
NYC Policeman: PICK OUT A PLEASANT OUTLOOK, 402
STICK OUT THAT NOBLE CHIN. 403
Albert: WIPE OFF THAT FULL-OF-DOUBT LOOK, SLAP ON A HAPPY GRIN. 404
Both: SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE, JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE! 405
406
All: PUT ON A HAPPY FACE, PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. 407
Bye Bye Birdie: Working Script for Carlisle Musical, March 2010 10
Daisy: AND IF YOU’RE FEELING CROSS AND BICKERISH, 408
DON’T SIT AND WHINE. 409
410
Lucy: THINK OF BANANA SPLITS AND LICORICE, 411
AND YOU’LL FEEL FINE 412
413
Cathy: I KNEW A GIRL SO GLOOMY, SHE’D NEVER LAUGH OR SING. 414
SHE WOULDN’T LISTEN TO ME, NOW SHE’S A MEAN OLD THING! 415
416
All: SO SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE 417
JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE! {Dance.} 418
419
Albert: Hey, there’s our luggage! You’d better hurry up if you want to see Conrad before he 420