Personhood development (Meaning of Responding)

Meaning of Responding

Respondingto say or do something as a reaction

to something that has been said or done

Types of Responding

ADVISING AND EVALUATING

While this is perhaps the most common response, and the one we are all most inclined to, it may be the least helpful response. It implies a corrective, suggestive, moralizing or evaluative attitude on the part of the listener.

They can: Give a sense that the listener has formed the response and is not listening to what the speaker is really saying. Indicate a sense that the listener is superior to the speaker which can make the speaker feel inferior. Be an effective way of not getting involved with the speaker and/or the problem. Tell more about the listener than about the speaker's values, needs and perspectives.

ANALYZING AND INTERPRETING

These types of responses may indicate that you want to teach, to tell the other person what his/her problems are (or mean), or to tell the other person what he/she really feels about the matter.

They can: Make the other person defensive. Discourage the other person from revealing more thoughts and feelings. Imply that you think you more about the other person than he knows himself.

REASSURING AND SUPPORTING

These responses often indicate that the listener wants to be sympathetic, to reassure, or to reduce the intensity of the speaker's feelings.

They can:Deny the other person's feelings. Tell the other person, "You should not feel this way." Communicate a lack of interest or understanding on the part of the listener.

QUESTIONING AND PROBING

Asking clarifying questions may indicate to the other person that you need further information on a particular issue. Probing questions, asked too soon or too often, may tend to guide the other person along certain lines, or bring the them to a realization or conclusion desired by you, but which is ultimately not theirs.

They can: Distract the other person from what he/she was saying. Lead the other person's comments in a direction that you want to go. Bring out information that is relevant. "Why" questions can put the speaker on the defensive.

UNDERSTANDING AND PARAPHRASING

This response, while the most difficult of the listening skills, indicates to the other person that you want to understand their thoughts and feelings. It asks the other person if you have accurately heard their feeling and thoughts.

These responses can: Assure the other person that you have heard and understood. Help the other person clarify and understand what he/she him/herself has been saying. Provide a calming effect.

Responding Skills

What is listening ?Listening is understanding and interpreting

what the opposite person saysDifference between Listening and Hearing: Hearing is merely the ability of ear to sense

sounds around one, but, listening is more of conscious effort to interpret the sounds, requiring concentration of mind.

ResponseThe reaction or answer to an external

stimuli either verbally or non-verbally

Responding with Empathy• Emotional Intelligence• Understanding Your

Partner’s Feelings• Ask Appropriate

Questions• Paraphrase the

Content• Paraphrase Emotions

Types of responses in counseling

Opening or Closing: Beginning or ending a session. “Where would you like to start today?”

Attending: Eye contact, open posture.Empathizing: Stating what the client is

feeling. “You feel angry right now.”

Paraphrasing: Stating the essence of what the client is saying. “You have come to counseling to talk about your math anxiety.”

Giving Feedback: Stating what has been observed. “You frowned when you said that.”

Clarifying: Asking the client to be more concrete. “Tell me more about that.”

Directing: Changing the direction of the session or giving a directive. “Stay with that thought.”

Questioning: Asking a question. “What could you do to make this better for you?”

Playing a Hunch: Presenting a possible interpretation. “I have a sense that this is more important to you than you are saying.”

Noting a discrepancy: Presenting two things that do not seem to fit. “There seems to be a discrepancy between the sadness you feel and the smile on your face.”

Noting a Connection: Presenting two things that do seem to fit. “There seems to be a connection between the people you are associating with and the conflict you are feeling.”

Reframing: Stating an alternative way of viewing. “Another way of looking at this is that you have learned a valuable lesson.”

Allowing silence: Giving the client time to process and continue.

Self-Disclosing: Sharing personal information. “When that happened to me, I felt betrayed.”

To Acknowledge: Wanting the client to know that the client has been heard. (See Paraphrasing.)

• To explore: Wanting the client to expand on what the client has been talking about. (See Questioning.)• To Challenge: Wanting the client to

view his/her situation differently. (See noting a discrepancy.)

Body Language in Responding

Responding Skills

Be DescriptiveBe TimelyBe BriefBe UsefulBe Active

Barriers to Responding Cultural Difference Rapport Non-Verbal Communication Language Lack of Interest Bias Appearance of Client Clients EmotionsRemembering what the client has already said

Improving Your Responding Skills

• Understanding• Clarification• Self-disclosure• Questioning• Information giving• Reassurance• Analytical• Advice Giving