Must Be to Just Be

Must Be to Just BeBeyond Concepts, Beliefs and Dogmas into the Core of BeingRajesh Ganesh

Dedicated to my mother Kamala Ganesh

ContentsTribute to my mother ................................................................................................................... 4 Ajatha or Non-Creation ................................................................................................................ 5 Can Infinite Finites make Infinity? ................................................................................................ 8 No one to attain Moksha or Liberation ........................................................................................ 9 The Ever Non-existent Snake in the Rope .................................................................................. 11 The 'Reality' of Waking State ...................................................................................................... 13 Bringing up Children ................................................................................................................... 15 On Observation........................................................................................................................... 16 Do away with Doer ship .............................................................................................................. 17 Grasp the teachings rather than being in the teacher's grasp .................................................... 19 Transformation ........................................................................................................................... 20 Spirituality for All ........................................................................................................................ 21 Signs of Progress in Meditation .................................................................................................. 23 Freewill and Ego-self................................................................................................................... 24 Enlightenment Quotes................................................................................................................ 26 Signs of Spiritual Awakening ....................................................................................................... 27 End of Your World ...................................................................................................................... 30 Merging of Jnana and Bhakthi .................................................................................................... 33 The Pleasure of the Pleasure Diminishes .................................................................................... 38 A Prefix to Feelings ................................................................................................................... 40 Bliss is Bliss ................................................................................................................................. 43 Concept to go Beyond Concepts................................................................................................. 44 Interpretation of Dreams............................................................................................................ 46 The Folly of Thinking Life is under One's Control ....................................................................... 48 The 'Want' of the Being to Just Be' ............................................................................................ 49 Hurt ............................................................................................................................................ 50 Be with the Flower and be the Flower........................................................................................ 51 The Insentient Mind ................................................................................................................... 52 Perception Perceiving Perception .............................................................................................. 55 Light is our Being ........................................................................................................................ 58 Swaying between Nothing and Everything ................................................................................. 62 Focus........................................................................................................................................... 64 Ordainer in Equilibrium .............................................................................................................. 66

Grace from Nothingness ............................................................................................................. 70 Letting Go without any Clinging ................................................................................................. 72 Seeking Pleasure is Seeking Pain Together ................................................................................. 74 Beyond Intellectual Understanding ............................................................................................ 76 Creator's Creation and the Creation of the Creator ................................................................... 77

Tribute to my mother ! , - - , . , ? - . , . , -

Ajatha or Non-CreationAfter Amma became one with the universe, all people have started to leave and I am back facing the day-today routine. I am getting more inclined towards spirituality and have been pondering over Ajatha, Drishti-shrishti and Shrishti-drishti doctrines and slowly Ajatha is beginning to make sense. Non-creation Though the mind is fighting against it most of the times, it is slowly beginning to make sense. There is only one absolute reality and as per my earlier observation that which is perishable is unreal in an eternal time and that which is bound in space or that which is limited is again unreal in the infinite vastness of space where zero space and infinite space are one and the same. Of late the pondering over Ajatha doctrine of Advaitha is taking me in its hands completely. Thinking about that, earlier I had the doubt and argument that just because the universe was created, even God proved the fact that he is bound by time, as when the creation is there, there is always something before the creation and after the creation, even if there is some dissolution of the creation at a later point in time, and then the next creation starts, it is always bound by time. The first creation, gap, and then the next creation. So God himself is bound by time in that case, between each creation he is also aging then. This was the thought which had earlier come to me and I was not able to convince myself that he is beyond time, then the startling discovery of the Ajatha doctrine which was the experience of Gaudapada and Ramana Maharishi took great interest in me. It is very clear to be the Absolute; one should be eternal, i.e. beyond space and time. This whole creation as we perceive has to be absolutely false. This seems to be the ultimate truth; there is no need for Drishti-shrishti and the common sense Shrishti-drishti doctrines either.

Looking at the creation of space also, that which seems to have finite space, that which is created immediately refutes the theory of infinite space and if God created this space, and if he sits outside of this space, then he cannot be said to be Omnipresent, that is why the following makes sense now. Brahman is real, universe is unreal and, the wonderful line, which looks like contradiction, universe is Brahman, Aha, So if you perceive the world, then that can only be your individual

If we go beyond our little ego-self, then there is no world, no space and no time. Just like our dream character suddenly realizing it is part of the projection of the individual ego-self of the person dreaming, that is awakening for the dream character. When that realization happens the character no longer associates itself with the dream body, the dream world, the dream space and dream time.

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self that is perceiving all this to be real, if you perceive this as unreal, then you are the Brahman that is perceiving, Aha. Seems like a wonderful and convincing doctrine, the Ajatha of Advaitha, experiencing that gives bliss that cannot be comprehended. Slowly after all this pondering, Ajatha seems to be the ultimate as it gave answers to the already left open questions on time and space, the universe is in me, or just a projection out of me, just like dream is a projection out of my ego-self mind, the universe is a projection out of the Supreme Self, which is none other than 'I am', Aha, Aha, Can we say our entire dream is nothing but the little 'I am' which is nothing but our own mind projecting outwards. For the characters in our dream, our dream world appears so real, there can be day and night, there is distance perceived by our dream character and he takes effort to cover the distance and so on and so forth. There is time in dream, there is space in dream, but are they real, they are real for the dream character and for us they are not real, the us here is the individual ego-self. Just extrapolating one level higher, we get to the clear understanding that if we perceive the world through our limited senses, then the world appears real in the waking state, but when there is no ego-self, as it happens in our deep sleep state, there is no world, the world appears only when someone is there to perceive it. If we go beyond our little ego-self, then there is no world, no space and no time. Just like our dream character suddenly realizing it is part of the projection of the individual ego-self of the person dreaming, that is awakening for the dream character. When that realization happens the character no longer associates itself with the dream body, the dream world, the dream space and dream time. It just can then abide in the source which in the dream case is our own mind, and then sees the entire dream as just a projection of the mind. Similarly if someone remains in this world, in waking state, but realizes the world to be the projection of the Supreme Self, they never again get attached to any of the materialistic things of the world, nor do they get attached to the characters of the world, in a sense, they get detached and wish to abide only in the Supreme Self, which is absolute and real. Having experienced something real, it is just fallacy to stick to the unreal, or get attached to the unreal instead of getting attached to the absolute supreme. The logical mind, seeing the pattern in the waking state gets convinced that there is a cause for every effect, for birth and death, for multiple species to evolution, to the shining stars to revolving planets, right from the smallest of the small atom to the largest in the cosmos. The logical brain sees some cause for all the effect that it sees, and is not convinced if some effect happens without any cause, and so to attribute to the cause, goes beyond ones present life and gets into the past lives, karma, etc., etc., to attribute to the effects that is beyond the reasoning mind's analytical capability of finding a cause, and on top of that, tries to even reason out the root cause for the whole of creation itself to take place, a seed of desire (unexplainable from whence it came), being the first cause for the creation and so on. For smaller things the mind sees a pattern and tries to understand the cause and effect. For larger things the reasoning mind, incapable of finding a cause tries to get into the realm where6

no one can prove or disprove anything and tries to derive axioms out of that in the pretext of still convincing itself that it is a logical explanation. The pattern matching goes far beyond and the mind sees similarity in the moon and mind's behavior or the influence of the moon over the mind and in the similar way the influence from other planets etc., etc., trying to predict the future based on the current set of events and patterns and if something goes astray attributes that to the act of God or to the past karma etc., A simple question on 'If the world is expanding what is it expanding into?' puts the logical mind out of track, and it then invents the most powerful of the powerful telescopes and tries to find the boundaries of the outer world and comes back awestruck saying it still keeps growing beyond that limit. If our dream character were to find out the boundaries of our dream world with the most powerful of the telescope, would it be able to find out? The same thing is happening for us in the waking state here, you can find out the boundaries if you wake from the dream, coming to the states, of waking, dream, deep sleep, Turiya and Turiyatita, if we are able to perceive ourselves consciously as the Supreme Self, i.e. the I that is present in all the three states of waking, dream and deep sleep. that is Turiya, but the I even without all these states to perceive will be Turiyatita, the existence, consciousness, bliss state. one clarification here is that Ajatha is that creation never happened, if you are still convinced on the dream like state of the waking consciousness, then it is Drishti-shrishti, simultaneous creation, but whatever it is, it is with respect to the Supreme Self and not with the individual ego-self, the individual ego-self sees the world as real, one form of Supreme. Self-realization sees the world as an illusion and another form of Supreme Self realization sees no creation at all, not even as illusion, this is how Nirguna and Suguna Brahman realizations take place, Suguna Brahman itself is an illusion from the state of Nirguna Brahman and so if there is no illusory Suguna Brahman present then the creation itself is not present.

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Can Infinite Finites make Infinity?Can infinite finites make infinity in the end. For e.g. can finite space make infinite space in the end. It can, but what we will say is that we need infinite finite space to make infinite space, similarly can eternal time be divided into finite sets of timelines? i.e. can a cycle keep happening infinitely? Similarly can finite set of spaces be combined together to form infinite space? Yes, it is possible, that is where we have seen the fractal theory. Consider the following simple program. while(1) { fork(); } The above is another example where if you have infinite resource it will spawn infinite set of processes exponentially. But can infinite be part of finite? The finite can be part of infinite, agreed, but then can the infinite be part of finite. That is a good question. If God is infinity, can he be part of the finite space and time world if we assume the ones he has created, if that is not possible, then he is not omnipresent, which brings in another contradiction.

The finite things that we see and perceive are just an illusion. The concept of time and space is clearly absent in the deep sleep state. Being consciously aware of the illusion of space and time brings in eternal bliss, which is nothing but the absolute state of being.

So pondering over all this, the finite things that we see and perceive is just an illusion. The concept of time and space, which are clearly absent in the deep sleep state, being consciously aware of the illusion of space and time brings in eternal bliss, which is nothing but the absolute state of being. Another aspect of seeing this is the infinite is present in finite forms, i.e. God is present in all the finite forms of his own creation.

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No one to Liberation

attain

Moksha

or

Started my earlier routine of asanas, pranayama and meditation routine two days back, and so thought I will continue writing any new experiences as part 2, of my experience with meditation. Ironically the part 1 and part 2 coincides with before Amma and after Amma, though I am able to fully accept Amma leaving her gross body and merging with the Supreme Self, or rather realizing that she is the Supreme Self. So a great feeling of Amma present always with me gives even more a fantastic feeling than when she was present in the gross form, in which the gross body went through utmost pain and suffering, More so on the new experiences, now that after pondering over the learnings, the Ajatha doctrine of Advaitha seems to be the ultimate, there is one absolute, and there was no creation at all. Creation never happened, there is no one trying to attain

I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man? - Chuang Tzu

Moksha or liberation and there is no one to be liberated. So if you accept that, then what is it that you are doing as part of meditation? Abiding in the Supreme Self is the 'normal' state, the passing of waking, dream and deep sleep happens only to the little self or the notional 'i' self-created by the mind, now if the little mind or the small ego-self itself is not present, it thinks it exists and then creates all this world, God etc., and then tries to attain Moksha, tries to kill itself through Jnana, Bhakthi, and other forms of yoga etc., etc., How can something which itself is non-existent do something to realize the absolute, that in itself seems to be a fallacy and Ajatha captures that very well. If a jnani realizes the Supreme Self alone is present and there is no little ego-self, then it means the little ego-self itself has been non-existent, imagine a character in your dream trying to attain liberation, it is more of the character leaving all the dream world realizing it is just part of the dream world created by the mind, and then it knows it is nothing but the mind itself, then immediately the dream ceases to exist, or more so the dream did not happen at all, that which has a birth and death never exists, if the dream character abides in the mind, then there is no dream and more so there is no dream character at all. The dream character itself is a complete illusion of the mind, and the dream character thinking of liberation etc., itself cannot happen at all as the character itself is not real, how can something which is unreal attain liberation, leaving the unreal dream ego-self, the waking state is absolutely no different from the above scenario, assuming the same character in the dream, we are now in the waking state which is again just like the dream projection of the Supreme Self, now if we abide in the Supreme Self, then the waking state itself doesnt happen and the individual ego-self, trying to realize the Supreme Self itself cannot really happen as the individual self is nothing but the9

assumed projection of the Supreme Self as that of individual self, objects, world etc.,. Aha, so the natural state of being the Supreme Self will make the whole existence of the world, individual self etc., as unreal, i.e. The creation never happened, Aha,

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The Ever Non-existent Snake in the RopeOn further contemplation, the Ajatha-vada gave great insight today morning, What is Jnana according to Advaitha? It is realizing the Supreme Self to be absolute, that also means, there is no individual ego-self and that is just created by the mind which is just a bundle of thoughts, so when the mind is conquered completely, then there is no question of the individual 'I' as well as the concept of The moment it is realized as rope, the snake world, God etc., does not arise, So now according to Ajatha how come creation never vanishes or to say the happened be true when we are pretty much hear seeing one that was not present objects, one another and also the world. Ok coming to the point, how do we see the world, it is right from the beginning only when our mind wakes up, where there is no mind vanished all of a sudden. there is no world (as in deep sleep), so it is only the individual ego-self, created by the mind that perceives So did the snake become the rope? No. Something the world, and then also perceives all other creations, now assume in the path of Jnana, we start with the that did not exist from individual self and finally realize that the individual self doesnt exist at all and it is just the absolute self that the beginning cannot exists in all the three states of waking, dream, deep change into something sleep, else. So it was all the Now that we have attained Jnana and came to the conclusion that the individual mind or self does not exist while only the rope that at all, then whatever we started with as individual self was existing and what also should be non-existent, i.e. to say there was no caused the snake is just individual self first of all trying to attain Moksha or liberation and attain Jnana, it was all the way only the the ignorance of existence of the Supreme Self, and the individual self perceiving the rope as being non-existent in nature cannot really thrive for snake. liberation, that is the lesson that we learn from those who attain liberation, so now that after reaching the end point we come to the conclusion that the individual self did not exist in the first place at all, then all that individual self sitting, meditating and attaining Moksha are all false or all that did not happen or could not happen at all, liberation is nothing but the very moment this truth is realized, Aha...Aha... Now the rope and the snake analogy makes immense sense. there was no snake at all in the first place and only rope was existing always, the moment it is realized as rope, the snake vanishes or to say the one that was not present right from the beginning vanished all of a sudden, so did the snake become the rope, no, something that was not existing from the beginning cannot change into something else, so it was all the while only rope that was existing, and what caused the snake is just the ignorance of perceiving the rope as snake, Aha...Aha11

Similarly, the absolute Supreme Self alone is present as pure existence, consciousness, and the ego-self out of its ignorance, thinks the world as real which forms as an image in the mind, and the moment the Supreme Self is realized, then it will be understood that the world, nor the individual mind, birth, death, planets, cosmos, etc., etc., never ever existed in the first place, Aha, Aha. When the seer merges with the seen, when the experience, object of experience and the observer who is experiencing all merge as a single entity, it will become clear as to what the single entity is, that which is always present, Aha, Aha. Brahma Satyam, Jagat Mityam, Aha.

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The 'Reality' of Waking StateHaving understood 'Ajatha', it might be futile to think of waking state as reality, But then, there is another way to look at it. Assuming the Supreme Self to be the screen and the movie in the screen projected as the waking state and the characters and the world created in the movie then become part of the waking reality, so what is the difference here, Being in the absolute once the movie is already made and it is just projected in self is our inherent the screen, the character in the movie has absolutely no power to change the course of the movie as that has natural state, but that is already happened, are we also like that in the movie of only after attaining the Supreme Self. can we attribute everything to fate Jnana, that which then, where exactly is the free will?, so are theories of cause and effect are all invalid, I mean all the cause and happens to us without the effect thereof, not just the cause that we cannot our effort is the natural attribute to as that of the last birth etc..so even here state for the moment. whatever effort that we are undertaking.is it all then commanded only by the Supreme Self and is it all that it So we need to always has already happened and is just being screened, we live in the natural state being simply the characters in the movie, just thinking of every moment. that we are the ones making enough efforts thereby being the cause for the effect that we are seeing. this is Period. For that there where there lies some fundamental difference? the are a few laws of nature movie that we are seeing has only one possibility because that we need to abide, it has already been taken earlier, now if we consider the past as the movie, then it clearly cannot be changed and so that being in the has already been taken, the only question being if we just natural state always move a little bit earlier in the time period, then is it true gives us peace. that this is the only possible outcome from that point in our life? Tough question really. If that is the case, then the future is also a singular possibility beyond our grasp, so will anything that we do today help in our tomorrow, can we sow something really that we can reap tomorrow or is it all predetermined?. oh, man, getting too tough, considering the state of abiding in the Supreme Self, we shouldnt be bothered at all about anything, that is true Jnana, as nothing really happens if we abide in that state, but then is it possible to be always abiding in that state and still keep moving about in the waking state, unless we make some effort in the waking state, things dont move, they just dont happen without planning and execution, and in most cases we can rule out the possibility of luck or just that of fate that something happened, because they are pretty much aligning with the theory of cause and effect, only if we plant a sapling and water it regularly, provide it the necessary sunlight, aeration etc., that we expect the plan to start growing, Of course plants do grow in forests without any of our effort, but there has to be some effort on its part in order to grow, it seems to be the same way for us, if we learn we become literates, or we are just illiterates, so13

the process of learning gives us knowledge so that we become literates, similarly right from very small things, like driving, unless we press the pedal, the bicycle is not going to move, (we cannot expect downhill always :-), so now coming to the above, Abiding in the absolute, the Supreme Self, is ultimate, once we do that, the rest may become insignificant, but until then, there is a perceived world, body, mind, which pops up as well as process innumerable thoughts, desires etc., Being in the absolute self is our inherent natural state. but that is only after attaining Jnana. that which happens to us without our effort is the natural state for the moment, so we need to always live in the natural state of every moment, period, for that there are a few laws of nature that we need to abide, so that being in the natural state always gives us peace.

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Bringing up ChildrenOf late finding it so difficult to teach children, I am trying to unlearn whatever has been learnt, trying to go beyond mind, when children are trying to learn about the world, using their developing mind, so tough, really, Abinaya is being taught about subtraction and she is finding it difficult to comprehend, Subha is using all her patience and teaching skills to impart that knowledge, I just tried to be the observer, it is suddenly pushing me to a point, what is the big deal after learning all that, ok now comes the point, knowledge Jnana, which is You are able to read and something beyond the mind, but that is beyond the understand the essence individualistic nature of mind, but then to transcend that of many things just the individual mind has to be used to its full capacity first, you need to reach the layer of atmospheric limit before because you had a good penetrating that with escape velocity, only your education, same way individualistic mind can take you to the level wherein you imparting knowledge is make yourself ready in the path of Jnana yoga. that is why our ancient saying 'kalavum katru mara', learn how to to be done to children steal and then forget it, which means, get skilled in always, when they grow everything, anything.be it sports, games, activities, give up and can make a your fullest, abiding in the Supreme Self, the question "Does one become an idiot if the individual mind is decision on their own transcended, ?" is being beautifully answered by Ramana whether to use it or not, Maharishi, saying your mind or self becomes the infinite that becomes their self and there cannot be any knowledge beyond that, it is more of the supreme intelligence guiding our actions choice and if the knowledge has not been when there is no trace of individual mind, so as your duty you have to teach them everything, just imparted, then that imagine that you are able to read and understand the essence of many things just because you had a good deprives them even the education, same way imparting knowledge is to be done choice. to children always, when they grow up and can make a decision on their own, whether to use it or not, that becomes their choice and if the knowledge has not been imparted, then that deprives them even the choice, which cannot be accepted in any ways. Transcending knowledge is wisdom and something cannot be transcended when it is no available. So knowledge is required to go beyond knowledge.

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On ObservationWhen the inclination towards earthly objects decreases, so does the sense of observation. Observation basically is something that is done using any or all of the senses at the same time, if more senses are used to observe something, then the information becomes more knowledgeable, see, hear, feel, taste, smell anything, and you know the in and out of that thing, and on top of that if you can perceive something using all this and beyond this, then you gain tremendous amount of knowledge on that thing and you start applying this knowledge then it becomes a skill and any skill performed with intense sincerity and desire becomes passion and to be passionate in doing something and doing that could be the best reward that you can do in the waking state and that could be itself the bliss or reaching anandamaya kosha of the individual ego-self, Aha, Aha, Anything that you do, if you give yourself completely to the task in hand, and not for one instance think of the outcome, but just to the process of doing it the finest, then you will achieve the highest reward.

Anything that you do, if you give yourself completely to the task in hand, and not for one instance think of the outcome, but just to the process of doing it the finest, then you will achieve the highest reward.

So being passionate about something and doing that, takes us to the anandamaya kosha. with spirituality itself being the passion, anandamaya kosha itself will be the base to begin with, Aha, savikalpa Samadhi talks about this, just being passionate about realizing oneself, just sitting in meditation with complete inner being reflecting on the thought, that in itself will take to savikalpa, but just like any other passion or any other venture, it is something which can only be achieved by effort, one-pointed concentration, knowledge, skill required to achieve the same, and when you are passionate, gaining all this itself will make one to realize oneself more, in anything you are passionate the learning never stops, or to put it in another way, there is no learning wherein effort has to be made, there will be immense learning and all this is spontaneous once you are passionate, there is no need to any effort to learn beyond a point and skill follows that, I remember what our violin master once told, in the beginning you need to catch hold of the violin and later on the violin will catch hold of you, Aha, Aha, tremendous insight and now able to get the deeper meaning in those lines,

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Do away with Doer shipEarlier I started writing on the natural state and the statements of Adi Shankara were astounding, Brahman is Real, World is Unreal, Brahman is world, The third line here is for the individual self which first of all sees the world, then the world that the individual self sees is very much Brahman, the first two lines are from the point of the Supreme Self, which alone is real, Coming back to the natural state of our being, if we forget the Supreme Self, then the world in the waking state is very much real and the concept of doer ship and You sow and 'expect' to enjoyer ship, cause and effect, fate and freewill etc., the dyads and the triads of pleasure-pain and the reap, that comes in experiencer, experience and the object of experience all exactly when you think come alive, In the waking state then one is forced to do that 'You' sow action, whatever it may be, and just by doing all actions by being in the natural state of Supreme Self leaves us How can you sow with no consequences, this is what is the highest truth, it without any is very clear that the individual self which assumes the expectation? role of doer ship is forced to then assume the role of enjoyer ship (whether pleasure or pain), when the doer Only if you abide in the ship itself is being surrendered to the Supreme Self, then Supreme Self or only if there is no question of enjoyer ship, the enjoyer ship ego you realize that you are is completely destroyed. now gita charam makes immense sense, 'kadamayai sei, palanai edirparkaadhe, not the one that sows, 'Do your duty/actions, but dont expect the fruit of the but it is just the action, Supreme Self that sows How is it possible? You sow and expect to reap, that comes in exactly when through you. you think that 'You' sow, then the expectation kicks in, how can you sow without any expectation. only if you abide in the Supreme Self or only if you realize that you are not the one who is sowing, but it is just the Supreme Self that is sowing through you, Aha, Aha, Ultimately this also points to the fact that attaining the highest truth or abiding in the Supreme Self alone can one do away with the doer ship, as long as even the slightest tinge of individuality remains then there cannot be a 'let go' of doer ship, so this talks about Advaitha again at the highest level. Abiding in the Supreme Self, alone without a slightest tinge of individual ego, next comes the one from gita, tatva dhegam punar janma, one who is able to experience and comprehend these are nothing but the leela of the Supreme Self, for that one there is no rebirth, leela is something people attribute to something that is real, but still the play of God. Maya is something people attribute to something that is not real, or the one that makes it appear real. Nowadays getting a tendency to stare at the sun, at all times, during sun rise, midday, setting sun, anywhere, if I get a chance to go out or view out of the balcony then I tend to look at the17

sun, more than the objects that the sun illuminate, it is the one that illuminates itself is drawing more of my attention

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Grasp the teachings rather than being in the teacher's graspKeep the message and forget the messenger. It is always that the message must be more important than the messenger. Of late we have seen so many gurus brilliantly producing gems, in speech, thoughts, actions etc., but then is the guru as a person all that important, that is where people get into trouble, there can be attachment to the concepts of the guru but not to the guru himself, attaching to the concepts is faith, attaching to the guru is blind faith, when you attach to a concept, then you can analyze and question the right and wrong in other concepts, but when the attachment is to the guru, irrespective of what the guru preaches, you tend to think or accept that it is right, which may not be the truth, so keep the teachings, and not the teacher, the teacher is like a stepping stone, teachings become our being, we cannot be attached to the stepping stone, or else we wouldnt be able to climb higher, whereas the teaching is the one that is going to take you higher, not the teacher, this is a significant difference and a very difficult one to practice once we start involving emotionally with the teacher rather than the teaching, also teaching is to be without any attachment to the teacher first of all, if it is attached to the teacher. Then it is not teaching, for e.g. pray to me, or wash my feet.so that you become pure and you can then get on to the next level, is not correct from any stand point, get attached to the faith, rather than the object, faith is to take you beyond the object of faith, similarly any teaching is to take you beyond the teacher, if it is taking you within the teacher's grasp, then you wont be able to grasp the teachings,

Keep the teachings, and not the teacher. The teacher is like a stepping stone, teachings become our being, we cannot be attached to the stepping stone, or else we wouldnt be able to climb higher, whereas the teaching is the one that is going to take you higher, not the teacher, this is a significant difference.

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TransformationTransformation, rather than material abundance is what is required to create a better world. Many modern day spiritual leaders also have the following view on money and material abundance. Money in the hands of bad people will be used to destroy the world, money in the hand of good people will be used to create the world, so it is the moral responsibility of every good person to be rich. Looks wonderful at the surface, but this also gives a bad notion that money can protect the world, and can be used as a weapon against the so called bad people. What happened to world trade center and the various terrorist attacks. Did money in the hands of the good people created a better world, it just helped to rebuild it, but then what can prevent it? It is transformation. Transformation of the bad one who is destroying the world and nothing else could save. Money with a bad person has made the weapons bigger, but it would still be stones without the money. There will be victims of such attack and there will be never an end unless there is realization and transformation. Poverty of the world is man-made and the difference in money has created all the conflict. The rich get richer and the poor poorer by the system of money. Oneness and interconnectedness, the feeling of brotherhood etc., is always beyond materialistic pursuits. Transformation is the need of the hour.

It is transformation. Transformation of the bad one who is destroying the world and nothing else could save. Money with a bad person has made the weapons bigger, but it would still be stones without the money. There will be victims of such attack and there will be never an end unless there is realization and transformation.

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Spirituality for AllWhen I was coming to office from home, my driver was talking about the uncontrollable anger and the sufferings that he is undergoing, the mental state that he is not able to progress in life, the non-acceptance of his family on his marrying a girl from a different caste and so on, I was discussing on some aspects of controlling his anger and channelizing it positively, even bharathiar said 'roudhram pazhazu' and so only thing to be done is to channelize it properly. Then it stuck me all of a sudden that these people, our driver and our cook mami (most sincere and dedicated worker, a pure karma yogi) are suffering a lot either financially or health-wise because of the fact they are unable to take care of their health and rest completely, then I was thinking what is it that these people can be exposed to spiritually so that they also get the benefit of the abundant cosmic energy present. Many modern day spiritual gurus, price their writings at exorbitant rates and on the other side there are courses which charge people around Rs. 6K etc., Even spirituality is distancing itself from the lower and middle class people and they end up touring temple after temples praying for some material gains to alleviate their present day suffering without realizing the wonderful bliss and inner peace that spirituality can offer them.

There are not just one driver like my personal driver, but there are so many auto drivers, call taxi drivers, private drivers etc., who seemed to be stressed out day in and day out not to mention about lorry and bus drivers and so on, factory workers, physical laborers who are all being treated almost like animals at various places, for a few people to gain materialistically and enjoy the pleasures of the world.

I am trying to see how can people be at peace in whatever they do and enjoy the better aspects of spirituality, It is really a shame that spirituality has become a kind of business that too seen as a flourishing business in which upper and elite class of people gain full access to meditation retreats and so on whereas the day workers toil hard day in and day out and does not even get exposed to such an avenue.

I am trying to see how can people be at peace in whatever they do and enjoy the better aspects of spirituality, It is really a shame that spirituality has become a kind of business that too seen as a flourishing business in which upper and elite class of people gain full access to meditation retreats and so on whereas the day workers toil hard day in and day out and does not even get exposed to such an avenue.

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Why talk about universal brotherhood, love, peace etc., when there is pretty much a pain behind each of the earthly pleasures that we enjoy. So how can spirituality be taught to the people at their levels and also make them gain abundance energy from the cosmos which can never get depleted, as it being the infinite source of energy. If someone has access at least to the infinite source of energy, abundance, then at least from that standpoint is it not logical that it can then be made accessible to everyone, you can still take whatever you want, it is an infinite source and it is not going to deplete, but at least make it easily accessible or available even to lesser masses. Politicians are making a fool out of the people, making them totally dormant and making them incapable, so that they can enjoy uninterrupted riches, but at least is it not for the realized spiritual beings to make it accessible to the masses. Point to ponder over certainly.

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Signs of Progress in MeditationWas just going through links corresponding to progress in mediation, and found the good link given below, http://celibacy.info/SignsOfProgress.html One of the points of late I am getting is that the hidden thoughts all come to the surface and so I was thinking whether I was going backwards than making any progress, but then that is also given to be a progress The thoughts cannot be ignored and quelled. They come to the surface and then should let go, that is what seems to be happening, many negative, corrupt thoughts etc., come to the surface and go, though they dont do any harm and they are not even in the slightest thing making me feel that how can I get such thoughts and so on, so it is more or less detached thoughts. Going through a good phase, the second phase seems to be even more intense some days, surficial some other days. More so I get good experience when I really dont try to see anything with my eyes closed, do you see the point :-) Even though eyes are closed, it is always that when we are awake we see something, but then when I try to even suppress the seeing, then it is taking me to the next plane, or to something else, which is different, Another startling point I read was that the ego mind will immediately start thinking and can even feel proud that something has been seen, so going great in the spiritual path.(I could sense that I saw something kind of a proud feeling when I narrated today's experience to Subha). But when pride comes then it is just a trick of the ego, if the ego was not there then what is there to feel proud of, so it is more of a new experience which the ego-self felt, But then even in savikalpa Samadhi wherein bliss is felt being in the anandamaya kosha, wherein duality is still perceived, it will be the ego-self that will feel the happiness then, this state comes only through the effort to get into the anandamaya kosha, and I think that is what I am slowly progressing towards, so no need to really feel bad that I became proud on getting to some level, More so could feel breathing stopping at times and then becoming very shallow, in fact I was even wondering in between how come the breathing can be so shallow, and what purpose does it serve, but nevertheless that itself is a thought

Another startling point I read was that the ego mind will immediately start thinking and can even feel proud that something has been seen, so going great in the spiritual path. But when pride comes then it is just a trick of the ego, if the ego was not there then what is there to feel proud of, so it is more of a new experience which the egoself felt.

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Freewill and Ego-selfWas going through upadesa saram today morning, and when Maharishi was saying there is nothing like freewill, internally I was opposing the concept so badly, then after a little pondering over the thought, was able to get some insights, All the path of Bhakthi, Jnana etc., talk about surrendering or realizing that there is no individual self 'i' and only one supreme absolute self exists, To whom does the concept of freewill arise; Obviously to the individual ego-self, as if it arises for the Supreme Self. Then that is what the individual self terms as destiny, So the individual ego-self wants a concept called freewill to satisfy itself and make it feel bigger and freewill only brings in the attachment of 'doer ship' more to the individual ego-self, Aha, I was startled to discover the biggest fallacy, when even this progression in spiritual path has to be ordained by the Supreme Self, then I started opposing that idea also vehemently inside, saying it is 'me' the individual self that is making all the effort to attain salvation, oh, man, just if I leave that thought, I will be liberated, as again I attach more of doer ship to the process of meditation itself, I being the seeker seeking the bigger I. whereas it is more of realization that there is nothing called the individual 'i', Now atma shatakam's verse, na mukthir, na bandha makes much sense, there is no one to attain mukthi and none in bondage too, So freewill as a concept itself is required as long as you attach to the individual self, i.e. attach to the ego-self, which is in turn attaching to the body,

To whom does the concept of freewill arise, Obviously to the individual ego-self, as if it arises for the Supreme Self. Then that is what the individual self terms as destiny, so the individual ego-self wants a concept called freewill to satisfy itself and make it feel bigger and freewill only brings in the attachment of 'doer ship' more to the individual ego-self.

Now as has been written elsewhere, cause and effect do apply when we attach to the individual ego-self, and for the effects that cannot be attributed to the cause directly, the concept of prarabdha comes to rescue, But as long as you feel you are the body, then freewill is still applicable, just as we say the world is real. Cause -> effect and so on, the individual ego-self or the mind has the capability to process thoughts and take subsequent actions, as long as any action is taken which doesnt turn the mind inwards but rather to the outside world, it brings its own effects to be seen in the outer world, and the counter of Sanchita karma increases for the good or bad deed, Aha, Now again I am able to understand the concept why after attaining Jnana. People can involve in various activities of the outside world, some may go on to acquire wealth, some might go on24

to preach, some sit silently etc., liberation just replaces the supreme mind for the so called illusory ego mind, and so now anything that the jnani does is only freewill, (note this freewill is that of the Supreme Self, ) Whatever it may be, I am beginning to be thankful to the Supreme Self for calling me inside and pursue the quest for realization, it is not my individual ego-self that is taking the effort, it is the supreme calling, Aha, another point to get into overwhelming gratitude.

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Enlightenment QuotesYou feel the fish is stuck inside the water tank, The fish feels you are stuck inside the space tank, at the same time Nothing and everything are like two sides of the same coin, just as outside and inside, there is no center for infinity as well as nothing as the center and the edges are one and the same, you are both inside and outside at the same time, inside you are the self, outside you are the world, and the self is the world Waking from the dream state is morning, attachment of self with the body takes place. Awakening from the waking state is more of mourning, detachment of self with the body takes place Mind creates objects, body being one of them, both the object and the perceiver of the object is created simultaneously, the source being the same Abiding forever in the self is forever bidding farewell to the body More than the words of the spirit, it is the spirit of the word that matters.

Waking from the dream state is morning: Attachment of self with the body takes place. Awakening from the waking state is more of mourning: Detachment of self with the body takes place

From being a Buddu, by applying Buddhi, then transforming one becomes a Buddha. So it is Buddu->Buddhi->Buddha

DOGMA, when reversed becomes AM GOD

The end of ritual is the beginning of being spiritual

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Signs of Spiritual AwakeningWas feeling severe neck and shoulder pain today morning and was also feeling tremendous stiffness in neck even during sleep at times, so I skipped the morning session of yoga and meditation today and started writing thoughts, then was going through this article, http://www.hopedance.org/home/awakenings/2447by-geoffrey-hoppe-and-tobiasReproducing the points here for easy reference 12 Signs of Spiritual Awakening By Geoffrey Hoppe and Tobias 1. Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back. This is the result of intense changes at your DNA level as the "Christ seed" awakens within. This too shall pass. 2. Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason. You are releasing your past (this lifetime and others) and this causes the feeling of sadness. This is similar to the experience of moving from a house where you lived in for many years into a new house. As much as you want to move into the new house, there is a sadness of leaving behind the memories, energy and experiences of the old house. This will pass. 3. Crying for no apparent reason. Similar to #2 above. It's good and healthy to let the tears flow. It helps to release the old energy within. This too shall pass. 4. Sudden change in job or career. A very common symptom. As you change, things around you will change as well. Don't worry about finding the "perfect" job or career right now. This too shall pass. You're in transition and you may make several job changes before you settle into one that fits your passion.

Increased "self talk." You'll find yourself talking to your Self more often. You'll suddenly realize you've been chattering away with yourself for the past 30 minutes. There is a new level of communication taking place within your being, and you're experiencing the tip of the iceberg with the self talk. The conversations will increase, and they will become more fluid, more coherent and more insightful. You're not going crazy, you're just Lightworkers, moving into the new energy.

5. Withdrawal from family relationships. You are connected to your biological family via old karma. When you get off the karmic cycle, the bonds of the old relationships are released. It will appear as though you are drifting away from your family and friends. This will pass. After a period of time, you may develop a new relationship with them if it is appropriate. However, the relationship will be based in the new energy without the karmic attachments.

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6. Unusual sleep patterns. It's likely that you'll awaken many nights between 2:00 and 4:00 AM. There's a lot of work going on within you, and it often causes you to wake up for a "breather." Not to worry. If you can't go back to sleep, get up and do something rather than lay in bed and worry about humanly things. This will pass. 7. Intense dreams. These might include war and battle dreams, chase dreams or monster dreams. You are literally releasing the old energy within, and these energies of the past are often symbolized as wars, running to escape and boogiemen. This too shall pass. 8. Physical disorientation. At times you'll feel very ungrounded. You'll be "spatially challenged" with the feeling like you can't put two feet on the ground, or that you're walking between two worlds. As your consciousness transitions into the new energy, you body sometimes lags behind. Spend more time in nature to help ground the new energy within. This will pass. 9. Increased "self talk." You'll find yourself talking to your Self more often. You'll suddenly realize you've been chattering away with yourself for the past 30 minutes. There is a new level of communication taking place within your being, and you're experiencing the tip of the iceberg with the self talk. The conversations will increase, and they will become more fluid, more coherent and more insightful. You're not going crazy, you're just Lightworkers, moving into the new energy. 10. Feelings of loneliness, even when in the company of others. You may feel alone and removed from others. You may feel the desire to "flee" groups and crowds. As Lightworkers, you are walking a sacred and lonely path. As much as the feelings of loneliness cause you anxiety, it is difficult to relate to others at this time. The feelings of loneliness are also associated with the fact that your Guides have departed. They have been with you on all of your journeys in all of your lifetimes. It was time for them to back away so you could fill your space with your own divinity. This too shall pass. The void within will be filled with the love and energy of your own Christ consciousness. 11. Loss of passion. You may feel totally dis-impassioned, with little or no desire to do anything. That's OK, and it's just part of the process. Take this time to "do no-thing." Don't fight yourself on this, because this too shall pass. It's similar to rebooting a computer. You need to shut down for a brief period of time in order to load the sophisticated new software, or in this case, the new Christ-seed energy. 12. A deep longing to go Home. This is perhaps the most challenging of the conditions. You may experience a deep and over-whelming desire to leave the planet and return to Home. This is not a "suicidal" feeling. It is not based in anger or frustration. You don't want to make a big deal of it or cause drama for yourself or other. There is a quiet part of you that wants to go Home. The root cause for this is quite simple. You have completed your karmic cycles. You have completed your contract for this lifetime. You are ready to begin a new lifetime while still in this physical body. During this transition process, you have an inner remembrance of what it is like to be on the other side. Are you ready to enlist for another tour of duty here on Earth? Are you ready to take on the challenges of moving into the New Energy? Yes, indeed you could go Home right now. But you've come this far, and after many, many lifetimes it would be a shame to leave before the end of the movie. Besides, Spirit needs you here to help others transition into the new energy. They will need a human guide, just like you, who has taken the journey from the old energy into the new. The path you're walking right now provides the28

experiences to enable you to become a Teacher of the New Divine Human. As lonely and dark as your journey can be at times, remember that you are never alone. I am going through most of the symptoms, in fact almost around 10 out of the 12 at this time and I think yesterday's meditation was certainly a wonderful experience, the fact that I dont want to see anything pushed me to just be aware and that shook me to some extent. Came across http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=home and found few of the articles and insights quite interesting.

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End of Your WorldYesterday was a great day, a day to be marked as part of the awakening process, after skipping one day, yesterday I went into my usual routine, Usual asana, pranayama and then the meditation, suddenly felt immense bright light after I decided not to see anything and it was so bright that I thought the sun light has changed its direction. but that was not the case, then suddenly I was surrounded all over by pinkish violet and it looked like the pinkish violet was circulating like a top, in full speed and there was a sudden surge, it lasted for a few seconds, Today I couldnt get into that state, though had very short glimpses of that, tried mediating for a longer time and it didnt help either, but then today when I sat for meditation I had no thoughts, except for the one thought which was wondering why I was not having any thought and then it was trying to bring all the hindering thoughts, though the thoughts were all brought, I was able to push them aside simply smiling and it was giving a great experience for the day, I think the thoughts to cause pain has reduced much in their intensity and that was giving great relief I guess, in fact it brings smile throughout, I think I am having a smiling face throughout, in spite of being normal. Was going through the book End of your world by Adyashanthi and amazing insights, the reality that even awakening doesnt bring the eternal bliss or peace immediately and there is struggle, in fact a much greater struggle even after that. which I feel like I was undergoing was a good insight, I am now able to comprehend most of the reality and not just brush them aside without acknowledging them, More so the feeling of littleness right from childhood keeps surfacing a lot, places and events where I was ridiculed, mocked at, and it looks like where the ego has undergone tremendous hurt comes to surface,

More so the feeling of littleness right from childhood keeps surfacing a lot, places and events where I was ridiculed, mocked at, and it looks like where the ego has undergone tremendous hurt comes to surface, there are events wherein I know it is not the mistake of me, but then the outcome has had tremendous impact on the ego-self and that is coming to surface for me to accept, acknowledge and release, the wonderful part is that the impact which those thoughts were giving yesterday seems to be reduced exponentially. This is great and wonderful.

there are events wherein I know it is not the mistake of me, but then the outcome has had tremendous impact on the ego-self and that is coming to surface for me to accept,30

acknowledge and release, the wonderful part is that the impact which those thoughts were giving yesterday seems to be reduced exponentially and those thoughts seem to have lesser, in fact very miniscule impact on the ego-self right now, this is great and wonderful. In fact I couldnt get yesterday's experience today and somehow was feeling better today than yesterday, dont know why, I had already set the expectation right I guess that I may not be able to get into the experience as of yesterday, more than the expectation the state of no thought and then the thought which understood the state and brought in other thoughts, but on top of that those thoughts could not have the impact, was even more satisfying than those thoughts not coming at all I guess, what a wonderful way of healing the process of awakening is bringing up, Somehow feeling a permanent sweetness in my saliva, in fact was telling Subha that it was ambrosia, the nectar of Gods ! Beginning to understand that I need to become much more genuine, was talking to my friend Vichu over phone today and somehow felt a strong connection with him today, somehow feeling light today than yesterday. May be some of the burden of few things have been healed or at least have started beginning to heal, in fact feel like taking a break and getting into solitude, but then not having any complaints being amidst people. The back and neck pain has lightened a bit, but still feeling stiffness at times. What next and a void kind of situation keeps hitting me, but not giving much importance to that right now, the 'superiority ego' of awakening is popping up most of the times, though it might be natural for the ego-self to feel even awakening has been achieved by it, the feeling was more due to the non-abiding kind of awakening, I didnt feel the oneness in everything, nor felt the supreme being in the anandamaya kosha, may be my anandamaya kosha got activated and did not experience either duality or non-duality then, was just in that state for a glimpse. Sometimes or at times felt gasping for breath and chest tightening and then forcibly let go of the stiffening. also took the breath multiple times, Staying rooted in just the 'I' is bringing in wonderful insights, when I close my eyes internally also, then the experience happens spontaneously, not just with the eye lids closed, It is more of shutting the seeing process rather than just shutting the eyes, there is a huge difference between this. another point to be noted was yesterday's experience was even without ear plugs, I was in fact listening to all the noises, but they were not making any impact at all or that they were not producing any thoughts whatsoever, today used ear plugs but then removed them in the end, may be they are not required, just like closing the seeing, it is enough if I just shut the hearing, rather than closing ears with ear plugs. One is to shut the instrument, next is to shut the receiver, shut may not be the right word, but make the receiver numb, or still would be a much better word to describe it.

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Was reading now about Sahasrara, and it was mentioned that there will be nectar secreted in mouth, and so the feeling about ambrosia that I mentioned above is related to Sahasrara getting activated, Aha, For two days I suddenly left eating sugar, but still the coffee doesnt taste as bitter as it used to earlier, Thank you God for showing the glimpse of what awakening is, please let me continue and realize I am none other than you.

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Merging of Jnana and BhakthiSpiritual practice is becoming tough day by day, I mean knowing well after the glimpse that this is all a dream state and that the ordainer controls all actions and results, the dispassion that is taking over me is growing in proportions, again a frustrating period. knowing that the pleasure is not real, nor the truth, the pleasure of pleasure itself has very much diminished, but similarly the pain has also reduced, but then bliss or the composed state after the ego is totally melted is nowhere to be seen at this stage and that itself gives more of a pain, so with diminished pleasure, and increased pain, the journey is really an ordeal, more of not able to kill the mosquito, but also unable to be at ease with the bite. mellavum mudiyaama, vizhungavum mudiyaama More than all this, the ego-self is getting terribly beaten up, whatever were the greatest and the greatest of passions for the ego-self, whatever it was boasting and keeping the spirits (?) high, that part of the self is slowly diminishing due to the glimpse of the Jnana, of all the change in personality is what is the ego-self finding it very difficult to take, aathula oru kaal, sethula oru kaal, aathai vittu ponaa karaila sethumnu artham illa (i.e. leaving the house may not necessarily take you home, (liberation))

Shruthi participated in Upadesa Saaram recitation interschool competition and got 'Sadhu Om's Ramana Geetham, a set of 4 CDs, she gave it to me and at the time of getting them I told, it will be of no use to me also, I was arrogant that I was going the Jnana way and so having known these songs of the Bhakthi types. was somewhat reluctant to even listen to that in the beginning, but then at home Abinaya insisted that I play them and so I was forced to play that, was totally taken aback, such wonderful renditions with intense meaning of words and I suddenly felt a very strong current and was sitting motionless for quite a while, never ever thought that Bhakthi could do such a great wonder, and ultimately came to the realization that Jnana and Bhakthi are one and the same. that shattered some more of my ego-self as it was still under the impression that Jnana is better. Suddenly one day I was pondering over the charity from my market profit and then I was able to be ok with giving 20% of profits or max 50% of profits to charity, then just by saying I will give 80% of the profit, I could sense tremendous resistance, if the profit is 5000 Rs, then it might be ok to give 4000rs, for charity, but what if the profit is 1Lakh, 80K for charity, ok. What if the profit is 10 Lakhs, 8 Lakhs, for charity, seems so huge and it is more than the %, the33

Grasping the teaching is Jnana yoga, and grasping the teacher is Bhakthi yoga ultimately the teacher and the teaching is one and the same only from one who walks the talk and talks the walk can Jnana and Bhakthi merge and that is truthfulness, truth in its fullness.

absolute is what seems to bother :-), there are of course other sides to this, by stretching to 80%, I could somehow stretch my limits and beliefs, and I think by doing so it is perhaps going to strengthen me rather than diminishing, I am sure it will lead me to a different plane altogether if I am able to do it, genuinely, it will purity me to a great extent, and the impact of the purification will be highly beneficial, so there is more of a selfish motive also behind that, but then it could be termed as 'Self'ish :-), the Supreme Self, With the pleasure of the pleasure diminished and the pain of the pain diminished, seeing everything or every effort in vain, it actually makes the whole energy drain, since the ego-self is melting and a new self is getting created, (or rather identified, discovered), it is really a painful process, at times inducing tears out of sheer bliss, and at times inducing tears out of sheer thought on this day-to-day living (sanskara), it is becoming too difficult to move about in the waking state having realized to some extent it is nothing but dream, till the time full realization and full awakening happens it is going to be too tough, and only God's grace can take me there, (take me is again a wrong word, but anyway the meaning is understood), sometimes I feel I forcibly is letting my mind think about the self continuously, but at times I feel I have been taken over by that feeling, Aha, taken over seems to be correct, slowly the first thing I am noticing is the diminishing interest in what other people are going to think of me, this seems to be the first transformation, though I would want to have or wear good clothes, neat ones etc., it is for my own sake and not for what others will think of me, also I am getting ready to pay the price for the truth irrespective of come what may, the fear of losing the identity is the biggest fear and other fears like losing the status quo of the family, friends, position, power etc., all stem only from the fear of losing the identity established right from birth till this point in time in this dream world, the illusory aspect of the ego having been identified is haunting to let go of itself, something wants to cling to it, and something badly wants to let go of it as the experiential knowledge that it is just an illusion is felt badly, sometimes the ego even strongly opposes to such an extent that it is even questioning the existence of Ramana Maharishi, and badly dont even want to accept the fact that such a person existed in blood and flesh in the first place, the other side completely merges my self inside Ramana (with Ramana), and starts to remain neutral, (remain neutral is rather correct than to say enjoying. )sometimes the feeling of being without the body, as just existence is providing the truth, the silence, I think the gloom felt at times is akin to seeing someone die, like even Amma, wherein if the notion that Amma is her body comes, then there is gloom as the body is no more, similar to that the gloom that I feel at times is due to the death of the illusory body. this body and ego mind is slowly dying, and that pain is what is being felt by the ego mind itself. As this process goes through, the tendency to run away from the dream state keeps occurring every now and then, even if someone runs to the forest, that is still a dream, the self is always there and so no need to go and search for it in some external place, if that notion is held, it is impossible to even find the self.as someone will then always look for it outside. But another strong feeling is that, now that everything is a dream.(not now that, it has always been like that, now only the realization of that takes place, ) should I still continue to struggle to do the34

things I have been doing, for e.g., working for earning money, responsibility of bringing up the family etc., but then if someone simply runs away from all these before full realization that will be a major hindrance than aid in the progression, it is like this, a child is crying for milk, the sound is disturbing, the child's intention is not to disturb you, but to get its milk, so the best thing to do then is to feed the child, quieten it and then back to the bliss of silence, that gives much more peace than to actually run away from the child and letting someone else tend to it, all work is similar to this, all things that is procrastinated is something like this, it will come and attack you in a much bigger sense.so that the inner self gets very little attention then, so eat the frog, everyday eat the frog as early as you can, and then you can be with yourself as much as you can, Aha, :-)a single pointed concentration in any activity enhances the productivity to such a huge extent, that what was done in 8hrs can take only 2 to 4 hrs now, this is the power of single pointed concentration, and so having gained the power more due to self-abidance, it is all the more prudent to finish off the tasks much ahead and free oneself, actions are always placed as burden on one's head, as long as you carry the gross body, there are actions that are to be performed anyway, so just finish it off, without giving yourself to it, give yourself to it. Aha, i.e. give yourself without giving in, on any activity, give up the expectation, but dont give in. It is becoming difficult even to reply to people's question as the sense of identity is required even to answer the questions.

Witnessing from a Crow Today again the session lasted longer, but the experience was not as profound as on the other day, after sometime, I could sense a crow sitting by the parapet wall, and then I projected myself on to that and it was giving a wonderful experience witnessing me being the crow, but then I knew I was not centered, in the sense, I was not able not to center the witness, either me or the crow it doesnt make any difference, but then it looks like I need a stand point to witness something, not that I am able to perceive the witness and the witnessed are one and the same, the projection into the crow was as real as I transforming into the crow itself, but then as said earlier it is just the shift in the center of the self, and not the realization that the infinite self doesnt have any center, at least the oneness with the crow was able to be perceived due to this and not only the crow but also with other things, more so with living things, slowly able to perceive the painter and painting to be one and the same, projected from the same Supreme Self.

Again I was thinking the ego wants to be satisfied and also validate the experience that I had on the other day, like the taste of nectar in the mouth and the Sahasrara experience, the validation itself is an aspect of the individual ego-self and it wants to know if I am going in the right direction, the ego-self wants to see the experience or rather feel the experience, instead35

of just be the experience.be the experience is from the being, the real self and more so feel the experience itself is something for the ego. Today at least, there were not many thoughts and thoughts have become powerless so as to cause any distraction, again one point I noted was that I was forcing myself for the experience, i.e. I was trying to make tremendous effort, and suddenly realized I have to be effortless and as soon as I did that, could see the veil move a bit and was able to 'see' the brightness. True to being, the concept itself being so profound, it is not true to the egoistic self, not being true to relationship, not being true to any external entity, but it is just being true to the core innermost being, no need for disclosures to the external world, but accept everything in spirit in the inner being, the inner self, Aha, feel like taking longer and larger breaths as I go through each moment, can feel some kind of transformation happening in the individual ego-self, Aha, Still the thought that even to realize oneself, one needs to be chosen by the Supreme Self is haunting me, the ego at least needs this to be the effort of its own, may be not delving too much into this right now, it is either through the supreme will or the assumed free will of the ego-self, it doesn't matter in the end, and in the end after realization it shouldn't matter, so why bother about it at all. Points to ponder, Ego needs to understand that it cannot put effort to 'feel' the experience again, what it needs to do is just step aside and witness, Aha, Normally from the Supreme Self the ego is witnessed, so can the ego step aside and simply witness, I think when the ego steps aside, the Supreme Self takes its place and from its point of view everything is just witness, including the object, subject and the process, It is more of 'jeevo brahmaiva na aparah', I think more than brahma satyam and jagat mityam, it is the above line that one has to experience in self, and then transcend, i.e. one has to first feel the interconnectedness and oneness in all living and non-living forms that is seen in the universe, and then move on to jagat mityam, as it starts abiding in the true self, Aha, Aha, So be the witness as well as the object of witness first, before anything else, let all the objects merge into one and then there will be only one witness, whether you witness the crow or the crow witnesses you, it is just one Supreme Self witnessing both you and crow at the same time and more so it is its manifestation that is both you and the crow at the same time, feel that and you are one with the crow, witness the witness and then you are one with the witness as well as the objects projected out of the witness, peace, Aha,

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Now when this is done, the duality of even a crow, pigeon or a person immediately vanishes, now you know why Ramana Maharishi treated all things alike being as well as non-beings and all were accorded equal priority, Oh, so much melting needs to be undergone to get into such a state, first it could be you and everything else, it is still ego perceiving the oneness from the witness point of view assuming (not experiencing) that all objects sprout from the same source, then making the ego itself as the object along with all other objects, and then witnessing it from the manifestor's point of view, i.e. witness it as Supreme Self, and then absorb everything within before the projection so that even the witness and the object become one and the same, that is true awakening, That is just being-consciousness-bliss, Aha, Aha, Deivamae, !!

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The Pleasure Diminishes

of

the

Pleasure

The pleasure of the pleasure diminishes. Why and the consequences. From the stand point of the ego-self, I am feeling pleasure is now getting transformed into I am witnessing myself feeling pleasure. That is the significant difference. So from the Supreme Self of I, the witness there is no pleasure involved and it is just a witness. What happens is that the true self or the real self, the Supreme Self by simply being the witness is allowing the ego-self to indulge in pleasurable activities of the senses, from the ego-self's perspective, that was what was the identity of me till now and so it forces the transformation of the identity to not happen and also wants itself to enjoy the pleasure as it used to before, but when the identity itself is skewed, there is only diminished pleasure that the egoself is now able to enjoy, so the pleasure of the pleasure gets diminished, I think this happens during the transformation of the identity and the ego-self's only weapon is to make you indulge more in sensory pleasures of the body and fantasy pleasures of the mind, so it tries to make you give your time and attention to both the pleasures of the body and mind.

Another thing, may be a much more significant thing is that now the nature of pleasure is known to the self, it is slowly not seeing any difference between physical pleasure which happens through the actions of the body, to the mental pleasure which happens through imagination, the differentiator is slowly going away, having seen the illusory nature of both waking as well as dream, it makes no difference in the pleasures of the body or the pleasure of the mind, just like waking state, pleasure of the body is more of both pleasure of the body and that of mind, (waking state), and pleasure of mind is just like the dream, as you start no difference from the being point of view in the waking and dream state, there is no difference of indulging in body and mind or mind alone, this way one can say from an objective point, the pleasure of mind is enhanced as it suddenly sees little difference to have the pleasure through the body, (but this is only from the ego point of view, but the truth is that on an absolute scale. The pleasure of the pleasure is diminished whether it is body+mind or mind alone, on the relative scale between body+mind or mind alone. The difference is reduced.) This is an important aspect, though may be totally not relevant or though can be just like that ignored altogether.38

From the stand point of the ego-self, I am feeling pleasure is now getting transformed into I am witnessing myself feeling pleasure. That is the significant difference. So from the Supreme Self of I, the witness there is no pleasure involved and it is just a witness. What happens is that the true self or the real self, the Supreme Self by simply being the witness is allowing the ego-self to indulge in pleasurable activities of the senses.

Now that the ego-self for the fear of loss of identity is making you indulge in more of sensory pleasures, coincidentally the external circumstances also lure you more into that, suddenly there is feast at office with variety of dishes, ice-creams, excellently fried ones and what not, suddenly the world around looks so beautiful and forces you to take notice of it, not from a witness point of view, suddenly there is some salary hike to boost your ego-self more etc., etc., all these are triggers from the external world which the ego-self immediately clings onto and forces or uses that as a weapon to wield against you realizing the Supreme Self, Aha, the wonders of Maya, just thinking in these lines itself is giving a wonderful feeling, something of a discovery, the true being though it doesnt have any pleasure or pain or is apart from that, is still feeling the happiness inside in all these discoveries, I am sure it is part of the ego-self that is feeling so much satisfied through the discovery as that part is already taken over by the Supreme Self, Aha, Aha, or more so, the ego-self itself at some point comes to the understanding that it was just playing hide and seek, and it had the power to hide the Supreme Self all through generations and suddenly the seeking gives itself tremendous satisfaction, it is just like we hiding a toy behind us and letting our child find it and then we feel immensely satisfied that the child was able to seek and search for the toy and finally find it, this is from the satisfaction from the Supreme Self point of view, Aha, Aha, dinamum un padam, iru kai thozhum, thiruvazhvu arul Ramanaa. Aha, Aha, Aha. Aha,

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A Prefix to FeelingsFrom the stand point of the witnessing Self. there is always an additional prefix that gets added, like the pleasure of the pleasure, the pain of the pain, the anger of the anger, and so on, it happens when the ego-self 'i' starts to detach itself from the feelings, for e.g., I am angry becomes, I am feeling angry and then immediately angry just becomes one of the feelings, felt by the self and having known it is just a feeling, it then goes away without associating with the identity of the ego-self, Aha, this is same for all feelings of pain, happiness, hatred, jealousy etc., etc. Instead of 'I am happy' it becomes 'I am feeling happy' and so on, so there is a next level for the ego-self to get to the core feeling of happiness, pain etc. I am pained, becomes I am feeling the pain, so ultimately anything boils down to 'i feel'. be it any type of feeling, the type of feeling starts to lose its significance and so pleasure and pain are both just feelings, and I am feeling it now instead of 'i' being that feeling itself, this brings tremendous calmness to the 'i' in spite of the type of feeling, there happens a natural process of disassociation with the type slowly, I am happy becomes, I feel happiness, becomes purely I feel, and then pondering over what feels brings insight that the 'i' that we think or rather feel that is currently feeling itself is nothing but just a 'feeling' or a thought, and that opens us to the Supreme 'I', Aha, Aha, was just going around the park and was just witnessing the branches of the climber, jasmine, plant, and then suddenly was struck by the fact that the bottom was one, then it was branching out and each branch was coiled differently subsequently branching out further at the top and so on, suddenly the oneness was uniquely felt, this is oneness w.r.t to the single tree, extending it to the Supreme Self, it is all one and inter-connected, there is no suffering outside of me, there is no one enjoying outside of me, I am just one of the many manifestations of the Supreme Self, and all the thoughts of even individualistic manifestation, oneness, interconnectedness etc., itself comes as a feeling to 'i', and then, oh, my God, I feel oneness. I feel interconnectedness also just becomes I feel, and then, takes me back to the Supreme Self, Aha, Aha,

From the stand point of the witnessing Self, there is always an additional prefix that gets added, like the pleasure of the pleasure, the pain of the pain, the anger of the anger, and so on, it happens when the egoself 'i' starts to detach itself from the feelings, for e.g., I am angry becomes, I am feeling angry and then immediately angry just becomes one of the feelings, felt by the self and having known it is just a feeling, it then goes away without associating with the identity of the ego-self.

40

Now able to get on with the swing of the pendulum, the swing of getting into the internal world, abiding in the Supreme Self on onside and then getting on to the external world and feeling of interconnectedness and oneness, the mistake many people seem to make here is indulge in the complete sensory things and claim that it is just the other side of the pendulum, that makes one complete, but I see only interconnectedness and oneness being the other side of the external world, Aha, for sensory pleasures to be felt, there has to be something divisive, something material involved, oneness and interconnectedness is actually beyond the divisive nature and so no amount of sensory pleasure on the external world can justify oneness and interconnectedness, Aha, Aha, Self -> World in its full-fledged form of manifestation which is again the Internal world. Now able to get the concept of Self. When projected outwards is nothing but the world in its fullfledged form of manifestation. Now the true nature of the infinite Self is revealed, both internal and external, and oh, God, the internal and external is only with reference to some center and without the center, there is nothing internal and nothing external, or everything is both internal and external at the same time, but the truth remains that Self is absolute, and it is Self alone which is infinite, encompassing the internal and external worlds, so Self alone is real, the world is unreal from the ego-self and it is nothing but the Self from the point of Self, Aha, now Shankara makes sense, Brahma Satyam, Jagat mityam, JeevoBbrahmaiva Naa Apara, or now Self is the world makes immense sense, if you view outside, the Self is the world, if you view inside then the light of Jnana is the Self, and complete realization, will not have something which is internal and external, the body and mind has no role in this and so anything to do with the body and mind ultimately is absurd. pleasure and pain is for the body and mind, and with body and mind there is no way to feel oneness and interconnectedness of the Supreme Self, Aha, Aha, The 'feeling' of oneness is again misunderstood, it is not through senses that we perceive oneness, looking at the flower and not thinking that it is a flower, without any name, without realizing the shape, without the smell, without the awareness of the space in between the flower and you, and without the awareness of the time that you have been 'looking' at the flower, that is nothing but just 'being' with the flower, it is not anything else, but just like being with oneself, the flower vanishes as the self and the self comes alive as the flower, that is the process of being with the flower, not just feeling myself and the flower are one and the same, we sprout from the same source, from the same manifestation, it is even beyond that, it is the self itself without any manifestation, there is no one like you there to appreciate the beauty of the flower, it is just the Self that is present, You be the self on just 'being' with the flower, The Self is the flower and you are the Self and you are the flower, it is not anything else beyond that, you dont feel the flower through the senses or you dont appreciate the beauty, there is no comparisons, you dont count the petals through your mind, nothing, nothing, you dont even recognize that it is a flower, but just being, that is why it need not just be the flower, it can even be something which is ugly, it is the same being. as I wrote once, 'only if your heart is nirmala, you can see yourself(God) even in mala', it is just being, only the senses can judge, if41

you can smell the flower's fragrance, then you can as well shrink your face by the stinking smell of the garbage, it is just being. whether it is flower or garbage in the external world, the sense of being is what is the oneness and interconnectedness, or else you will be deluded by the fact that you will be one only with beauty, you will be one only with love, only with kindness etc., that is again divisive, it is not oneness. i feel oneness itself is divisive, as I feel oneness is similar in nature to I feel angry, it is a witness of an external feeling, even to perceive oneness in everything, one has to perceive the Self, without that oneness will always remain external, there is no question of universal love unless one loves the Self to the foremost, not the egoself, it is the love of the Supreme Self, Aha, beyond identities, beyond concept, if the external world is 'felt', it is similar to the feeling of the internal 'self', that is when the internal and external world merges and then there is no question of something being internal or external, it is just ONE, Aha, again it cannot be sensed from a reference point, I dont stand opposite to the flower and sense the flower, the flower is everywhere where I am. There is no center point. The flower and 'i' do not exist in space, it is something beyond space, beyond time, it is not that I feel oneness only when I look at the flower or only when I think of the flower, it is more of I am already one with the flower, there is nothing to look or think beyond that. I dont see the world as something out of myself, it is more of the 'world is in me', the projection of the world is from my true Self, Aha, More of internal becoming external and external becoming internal, finally merging, finally experiencing there is nothing internal and nothing external, it is just the Self and nothing else, nothing now and nothing before and nothing after. nothing here and nothing there, at the same instance, everything internal and everything external, everything everywhere and at all times, nothing as everything and everything as nothing, nothing as nothing and everything as everything, Aha, Aha, the core of the being, same as the being of the core, Aha, Aha, abiding in the core, conscious of the core alone, conscious of the being a