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MOTHER Memoirs, GPP#10 : Cosmic Love
Deep pinks and stark whites, and rivers like the summer sky –
you could fly through
them if only you had wings. The sun is always setting in
Magicant.
My people have everything they could ever want, and what they
dream of becomes a
magnificent reality. Everyone is happy. Except me.
As the world sleeps, the palace floor shines like jade in the
moonlight. My heels click and
clack down the hallway. Images clutter my mind. A teddy bear…
what was her name? A father’s
watchful eye. Snails and candy in the woods. I try to whisk them
away, beyond everyone’s
reach. I can almost hear them skulking into the depths of
Magicant.
Then I can smile again for my people. But those old feelings
always come back.
It’s daybreak now, and the guards tell me the boy has returned
to
the castle.
“Hello, Ninten,” I say cheerfully. I know that he can see
through
my desperate smile.
Solemnly, he replies, “I know the song now, Queen Mary.”
“Then, please sing me the melodies you have learned.”
“My father says he misses you, misses this place.”
A cloudy memory of a boy like Ninten. Then, nothing.
“Have… I met your father?
“My father… He’s your grandson.”
Tears well, and slide down my cheeks.
“You know what’s going to happen, don’t you? If I sing?”
I nod. “Please, Ninten.”
His voice is the only thing I can hear. It floats through the
palace,
through the doors, and envelops all of Magicant. It’s warm.
“Yes, that’s right, that’s the song!”
We sing together, my great-grandson and I:
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Take a melody,
Simple as can be
Give it some words and
Sweet harmony
Raise your voices,
All day long now,
Love grows strong now
Sing a melody of love
Oh, love
The memories flood back.
Oh, Giegue! I loved him… I loved him as if he was my own child.
He was always
wagging his tail, just like a pup. Except for when I tried to
sing him lullabies. He just wasn’t
equipped to grasp earthbound love.
Maybe that’s why I forgot the lullaby. Maybe that’s why I forgot
Giegue and my dear
George, and created this world to shield myself from the pain of
being separated from the only
son I’ve ever known.
A child’s love is all I ever wanted. I’m not sorry that we
raised him, my love, but I wish I
hadn’t picked him over you.
With every restored memory, a part of Magicant fades away. And
slowly, so do I. And I
feel happy again.
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After singing with our great-grandson, in a rush of wind, Queen
Mary vanished.
Magicant was a mirage – a mirage born of Maria’s
consciousness.
Just as I had designed it to do, the Onyx Hook returned Ninten
and his friends to the peak
of Mt. Itoi. With Magicant gone, the rocks blocking the final
cave shattered.
Ana knelt near some brushes.
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She prayed to the Almighty Father, for her mother, for Maria,
and for the safety of her
friends.
Ninten and Loid did too, in their own ways.
Loid gazed over the edge of the mountain at Lake Itoi, and
noticed for the first time just
how far he had traveled. I could tell he was proud of himself:
The weakling, not strong boy, had
made it to the end with his friends.
Ninten thought of home, and about how proud his father was of
him.
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It was up to Ninten now, and he was not going to let his family
down.
Wordlessly, the children headed towards the cave. The gargoyles
that had plagued them
on the way up the mountain simply moved aside.
With a deep breath, Ninten and his friends disappeared into the
darkness.
As they vanished, Maria’s spirit joined mine on top of Mt. Itoi.
Finally, we're together
again!
Weightlessness, into the clouds. The lights got brighter and
brighter. We felt at peace.
Perhaps somehow little Giegue will return to us here, and our
family will be complete
once more.
Good luck, great-grandson.
All photography by Matt Frey