Management Techniques 4-H 101: Return to the Basics CES Staff Development Series Tuesday, March 14, 2006, 9:30-11:30 a.m. IP Video Presentation by Steve.

Management TechniquesManagement Techniques

4-H 101: Return to the Basics4-H 101: Return to the BasicsCES Staff Development SeriesCES Staff Development Series

Tuesday, March 14, 2006, 9:30-11:30 a.m.Tuesday, March 14, 2006, 9:30-11:30 a.m.IP Video PresentationIP Video Presentation

by Steve McKinleyby Steve [email protected]; [email protected]; 765-494-8435

4-H 101 Series4-H 101 Series

Effectively Utilizing Volunteers (10/4)Effectively Utilizing Volunteers (10/4) Starting and Maintaining 4-H Clubs (11/15)Starting and Maintaining 4-H Clubs (11/15) Expanding 4-H Opportunities (12/13)Expanding 4-H Opportunities (12/13) Characteristics of Positive Youth Development & Characteristics of Positive Youth Development &

Life Skill Development (1/10)Life Skill Development (1/10) 4-H Purpose, History, and Structure (2/14)4-H Purpose, History, and Structure (2/14) Conflict Management Techniques (3/14)Conflict Management Techniques (3/14)

Program Information…Program Information…

Disconnected? Contact the AgIT Disconnected? Contact the AgIT Help Desk at 765-494-8333Help Desk at 765-494-8333

Provide feedback to: Steve at 765-Provide feedback to: Steve at 765-494-8435, or [email protected] 494-8435, or [email protected]

Objectives:Objectives:

1.1. Describe characteristics of conflict.Describe characteristics of conflict.2.2. Identify typical responses when needs are Identify typical responses when needs are

violated.violated.3.3. Distinguish among three stages of conflict.Distinguish among three stages of conflict.4.4. Define the five conflict handling modes Define the five conflict handling modes

discussed in the Thomas-Kilman Instrument.discussed in the Thomas-Kilman Instrument.5.5. Review various conflict management Review various conflict management

resources.resources.6.6. Demonstrate methods to effectively resolve Demonstrate methods to effectively resolve

conflict situations.conflict situations.

What do you know about What do you know about conflict?conflict?

Write “True” or “False” next to each statement below…Write “True” or “False” next to each statement below…

1.1. Conflict left alone will take care of itself.Conflict left alone will take care of itself.2.2. Confronting an issue or a person is always Confronting an issue or a person is always

unpleasant.unpleasant.3.3. Conflict within an organization is a sign of poor Conflict within an organization is a sign of poor

leadership.leadership.4.4. It takes two people communicating effectively to It takes two people communicating effectively to

change the direction of a conflict.change the direction of a conflict.5.5. Conflict can be constructive.Conflict can be constructive.6.6. How we respond to others and situations is based How we respond to others and situations is based

on the attitude we take.on the attitude we take.

What do you know about What do you know about conflict?conflict?

7.7. Anger is always negative and destructive.Anger is always negative and destructive.8.8. Communication is 50% verbal and 50% Communication is 50% verbal and 50%

nonverbal.nonverbal.9.9. Conflict is resolved once the goal switches from Conflict is resolved once the goal switches from

solving concrete problems to proving you are solving concrete problems to proving you are right and another person is wrong. right and another person is wrong.

10.10. Communication and emotion are two key Communication and emotion are two key elements of any conflict. elements of any conflict.

11.11. Conflict is best dealt with in the early stages when Conflict is best dealt with in the early stages when the fewest number of people are involved.the fewest number of people are involved.

12.12. In times of conflict it is important to speak loudly In times of conflict it is important to speak loudly and with authority in order to make a point.and with authority in order to make a point.

Objective 1Objective 1

Describe characteristics of Describe characteristics of conflict.conflict.

Conflict…Conflict…

Occurs when cares/concerns appear to Occurs when cares/concerns appear to be incompatiblebe incompatible Internal ConflictInternal Conflict: :

a disturbance that rages within a single a disturbance that rages within a single

individualindividual Interpersonal ConflictInterpersonal Conflict::

a disturbance that exists between 2 or a disturbance that exists between 2 or

more individuals/groupsmore individuals/groups

Conflict is….Conflict is….

Something we face everyday.Something we face everyday. A fact of life.A fact of life. An opportunity to create an An opportunity to create an

understanding.understanding. Often a result of miscommunication. Often a result of miscommunication. Not limited to fighting.Not limited to fighting. Not always negative!Not always negative!

Critical Elements of ConflictCritical Elements of Conflict

CommunicationCommunication Verbal communicationVerbal communication

7%7% Non-verbal communicationNon-verbal communication

93%93% Emotional Aspect Emotional Aspect

Is this pushing a “hot button”?Is this pushing a “hot button”? What is your level of commitment to this person?What is your level of commitment to this person? What else is happening in your life?What else is happening in your life? On a scale of 1-10, how important is this?On a scale of 1-10, how important is this?

Emotional Don’ts:Emotional Don’ts:

Don’t get in a power struggle.Don’t get in a power struggle. Don’t detach from conflict.Don’t detach from conflict. Don’t let conflict establish your Don’t let conflict establish your

agenda.agenda. Don’t over-dramatize the situation.Don’t over-dramatize the situation. Don’t “awfulize”!!Don’t “awfulize”!!


Identify typical responses Identify typical responses when needs are violated.when needs are violated.

Four BasicFour Basic Psychological Needs: Psychological Needs:

To be valued and treated as an To be valued and treated as an individualindividual

To be in controlTo be in control

To have strong self-esteemTo have strong self-esteem

To be consistentTo be consistent

When needs are violated, When needs are violated, individuals respond.individuals respond.

Retaliate Retaliate MomentaryMomentary Always a mistakeAlways a mistake

Intimidate Intimidate Short tempersShort tempers Strong opinionsStrong opinions Hard on the long term relationshipHard on the long term relationship

When needs are violated, When needs are violated, individuals respond.individuals respond.

Isolate Isolate Appear to accept the situationAppear to accept the situation They may actually be suppressing itThey may actually be suppressing it This is how small problems grow into This is how small problems grow into

huge misunderstandingshuge misunderstandings

CooperateCooperate Confront the issue immediatelyConfront the issue immediately Address the problem by putting it on the Address the problem by putting it on the

tabletable Greatest long term benefitGreatest long term benefit

Is this your wish for all of Is this your wish for all of the difficult people in your the difficult people in your

life?life?

If so, you might If so, you might not be in a not be in a cooperative cooperative spirit! spirit!


Distinguish among three Distinguish among three stages of conflict.stages of conflict.

3 Stages of Conflict3 Stages of Conflict

Stage One: Everyday DifficultiesStage One: Everyday Difficulties Low intensityLow intensity Day-to-day irritationsDay-to-day irritations Discomfort & anger are quickly passed offDiscomfort & anger are quickly passed off ““No big deal” attitudeNo big deal” attitude

Strategies:Strategies: AvoidanceAvoidance ObligingObliging Jointly examine both sidesJointly examine both sides Evaluate the proportion of the reaction to the situationEvaluate the proportion of the reaction to the situation

3 Stages of Conflict3 Stages of Conflict Stage Two: Significant Difficulties Stage Two: Significant Difficulties

Win-lose attitudeWin-lose attitude More personal investmentMore personal investment Self interest & saving face is importantSelf interest & saving face is important Victories/mistakes are rememberedVictories/mistakes are remembered Alliances & cliques are formedAlliances & cliques are formed

Strategies:Strategies: Create a safe environment - informal setting, neutral Create a safe environment - informal setting, neutral

turf, agenda, control, set tone, be vulnerableturf, agenda, control, set tone, be vulnerable Hard on facts and soft on peopleHard on facts and soft on people Do initial work as a teamDo initial work as a team Look for middle groundLook for middle ground Allow enough timeAllow enough time Seat people next to each otherSeat people next to each other

3 Stages of Conflict3 Stages of Conflict Stage Three: Overt BattlesStage Three: Overt Battles

Shift from wanting to win to wanting to hurtShift from wanting to win to wanting to hurt Being right and punishing the wrong is a Being right and punishing the wrong is a

consuming motivationconsuming motivation Positions are polarizedPositions are polarized Logic and reason are ineffectiveLogic and reason are ineffective

Strategies:Strategies: Negotiation - discussion & compromiseNegotiation - discussion & compromise Mediation - third party serves as a go-between Mediation - third party serves as a go-between

in order to reconcilein order to reconcile Arbitration - determination of a case in Arbitration - determination of a case in

controversy by a person selected by the controversy by a person selected by the partiesparties


Define the five conflict Define the five conflict handling modes discussed in handling modes discussed in

the Thomas-Kilman the Thomas-Kilman Instrument.Instrument.

What’s Your Conflict What’s Your Conflict Management Style? Management Style?

How do you react during a conflict...and How do you react during a conflict...and how do others react to you? how do others react to you?

Thomas-Kilman Instrument (TKI) -Thomas-Kilman Instrument (TKI) -Provides information about an Provides information about an individual’s style of handling conflict, individual’s style of handling conflict, compared to five distinct modes.compared to five distinct modes.

ASSERTIVENESS (Trying to satisfy your ASSERTIVENESS (Trying to satisfy your own concerns) vs. COOPERATIVENESS own concerns) vs. COOPERATIVENESS (Trying to satisfy the other’s concerns)(Trying to satisfy the other’s concerns)

Graph of Conflict Handling Graph of Conflict Handling ModesModes

Accommodating

Compromising

Avoiding

CollaboratingCompeting

CooperativeUncooperative

Ass

ert

ive

Unass

ert

ive

TKI Conflict Handling ModesTKI Conflict Handling Modes CompetingCompeting:: High assertiveness and low High assertiveness and low

cooperativeness —the goal is to “win” cooperativeness —the goal is to “win” Occurs when you take a position that Occurs when you take a position that

meets your concerns but not the other meets your concerns but not the other person’s. A win-lose mode.person’s. A win-lose mode.

TKI Conflict Handling ModesTKI Conflict Handling Modes AccommodatingAccommodating: : Low assertiveness and Low assertiveness and

high cooperativeness — the goal is to high cooperativeness — the goal is to “yield”“yield” Occurs when you accept a position that Occurs when you accept a position that

meets the other person’s concerns over meets the other person’s concerns over yours. A win-lose mode.yours. A win-lose mode.

TKI Conflict Handling ModesTKI Conflict Handling Modes

AvoidingAvoiding:: Low assertiveness and low Low assertiveness and low cooperativeness — the goal is to “delay” cooperativeness — the goal is to “delay” Occurs when you try not to engage in a Occurs when you try not to engage in a

conflict issue. It is a lose-lose mode.conflict issue. It is a lose-lose mode.


CompromisingCompromising:: Moderate Moderate assertiveness and moderate assertiveness and moderate cooperativeness — the goal is to “find a cooperativeness — the goal is to “find a middle ground" middle ground" Settle for a position that partially Settle for a position that partially

satisfies your concerns and those of satisfies your concerns and those of the other person. A win-lose mode.the other person. A win-lose mode.


CollaboratingCollaborating: : High assertiveness and High assertiveness and high cooperativeness — the goal is to high cooperativeness — the goal is to “find a win-win solution” “find a win-win solution” Occurs when you find a position that Occurs when you find a position that

fully satisfies your own and the other fully satisfies your own and the other person’s concerns. A win-win mode.person’s concerns. A win-win mode.

Uses of Each TKI ModeUses of Each TKI Mode

Scenario: A parent has submitted a Scenario: A parent has submitted a somewhat controversial proposal to the somewhat controversial proposal to the 4-H Council which has led to conflict 4-H Council which has led to conflict between the parent and the 4-H Youth between the parent and the 4-H Youth Development Extension Educator.Development Extension Educator.

We’ll first look at a poor use and then a We’ll first look at a poor use and then a more effective use of each mode.more effective use of each mode.

CompetingCompeting

Poor use:Poor use: Educator… “Look, I don’t care what you think or how Educator… “Look, I don’t care what you think or how

unfair you think this is! Rules are rules, and I’ve been unfair you think this is! Rules are rules, and I’ve been hired to enforce them with no exceptions! I’m right in hired to enforce them with no exceptions! I’m right in this situation, and the case is closed!”this situation, and the case is closed!”

Effective use:Effective use: Educator… “I understand that this is an important issue Educator… “I understand that this is an important issue

for you. However, as your proposal is currently stated, it for you. However, as your proposal is currently stated, it does not fit in the guidelines set by the 4-H Council. As does not fit in the guidelines set by the 4-H Council. As Educator, it is my job to enforce the rules that have been Educator, it is my job to enforce the rules that have been set no matter how unpopular they may be. The Council set no matter how unpopular they may be. The Council has set the rules so that the 4-H program is within federal has set the rules so that the 4-H program is within federal and state guidelines. I am not asking you to agree with and state guidelines. I am not asking you to agree with my position, but I do hope that you will respect it.”my position, but I do hope that you will respect it.”

AvoidingAvoiding

Poor use:Poor use: Educator (has received a call from the secretary)… “No, I Educator (has received a call from the secretary)… “No, I

don’t want to talk to him now. Tell him I’m not in. No…don’t want to talk to him now. Tell him I’m not in. No…tell him I’m in a meeting and can’t be disturbed. I don’t tell him I’m in a meeting and can’t be disturbed. I don’t care what you tell him…just get rid of him!”care what you tell him…just get rid of him!”

Effective use:Effective use: Educator… “Look, this is obviously an emotional issue for Educator… “Look, this is obviously an emotional issue for

you. I know that you have a lot invested in it. Why don’t you. I know that you have a lot invested in it. Why don’t we take some time away from the issue right now and we take some time away from the issue right now and plan to talk again tomorrow? How does 10 a.m. sound? plan to talk again tomorrow? How does 10 a.m. sound? In the mean time, I will do some research on your issue to In the mean time, I will do some research on your issue to see if I can find additional options for us to consider see if I can find additional options for us to consider regarding your situation.”regarding your situation.”

AccommodatingAccommodating

Poor use:Poor use: Educator… “Hey…I understand this is important to you. Educator… “Hey…I understand this is important to you.

So, even though your proposal doesn’t fit within the 4-H So, even though your proposal doesn’t fit within the 4-H Council’s guidelines, I’ll overlook it this time and Council’s guidelines, I’ll overlook it this time and recommend it for approval. You’re an important citizen in recommend it for approval. You’re an important citizen in this county, and I don’t want to damage our relationship this county, and I don’t want to damage our relationship in the future.”in the future.”

Effective use:Effective use: Educator… “I don’t want to seem unresponsive to your Educator… “I don’t want to seem unresponsive to your

concerns on this important issue. However, I don’t have concerns on this important issue. However, I don’t have authority to overturn the Council’s decision. So, what I authority to overturn the Council’s decision. So, what I suggest is that I put your issue on the agenda of the next suggest is that I put your issue on the agenda of the next 4-H Council meeting and invite you to attend, to see if the 4-H Council meeting and invite you to attend, to see if the Council has some additional options for you to consider.”Council has some additional options for you to consider.”

CompromisingCompromising Poor use:Poor use:

Educator… “You’ve heard the expression, ‘You scratch my Educator… “You’ve heard the expression, ‘You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours’? I bet we can come to some back, and I’ll scratch yours’? I bet we can come to some agreement here. You’ve got season tickets to the agreement here. You’ve got season tickets to the basketball games this year, right? How ‘bout you letting basketball games this year, right? How ‘bout you letting me have tickets for a couple of games, and I’ll see if I me have tickets for a couple of games, and I’ll see if I can’t get this proposal to slip right through the 4-H can’t get this proposal to slip right through the 4-H Council? They have so many issues to deal with, they Council? They have so many issues to deal with, they won’t even know!”won’t even know!”

Effective use:Effective use: Educator… “The 4-H Council has set some pretty tight Educator… “The 4-H Council has set some pretty tight

guidelines for me to follow. However, they understand guidelines for me to follow. However, they understand that there are times that some allowances may need to that there are times that some allowances may need to be made. If you would agree to a revision here in Part A be made. If you would agree to a revision here in Part A of your proposal to be in line with the Council’s guidelines, of your proposal to be in line with the Council’s guidelines, I believe that they would be willing to consent to your I believe that they would be willing to consent to your request in Part B. Would you consider that revision?”request in Part B. Would you consider that revision?”

CollaboratingCollaborating Poor use:Poor use:

Educator… “O.K., we have an obvious difference of Educator… “O.K., we have an obvious difference of opinion here. I’m not willing to take the responsibility by opinion here. I’m not willing to take the responsibility by myself, so let’s call together a series of meetings with the myself, so let’s call together a series of meetings with the 4-H Council, their sub-committees, my CED, some 4-H 4-H Council, their sub-committees, my CED, some 4-H Leaders, parents, and members. We’ll see if we can’t Leaders, parents, and members. We’ll see if we can’t research this issue in depth, discuss it extensively, and research this issue in depth, discuss it extensively, and come up with a solution in which all parties are in come up with a solution in which all parties are in agreement. I’m guessing this process will only take about agreement. I’m guessing this process will only take about 6-8 months. That’s not too long of a wait for you, is it?”6-8 months. That’s not too long of a wait for you, is it?”

Effective use:Effective use: Educator… “Since this is such an important issue both to Educator… “Since this is such an important issue both to

you and the 4-H Council, I suggest that we sit down at a you and the 4-H Council, I suggest that we sit down at a special meeting of the Council to try to better understand special meeting of the Council to try to better understand each others’ concerns. We don’t want this issue to be each others’ concerns. We don’t want this issue to be unresolved too long, because there are a lot of resources unresolved too long, because there are a lot of resources involved here, but I do think it is important to try to reach involved here, but I do think it is important to try to reach a mutual decision that we can all agree upon. Let’s plan a mutual decision that we can all agree upon. Let’s plan for a one-hour meeting with the Council next week, O.K.?”for a one-hour meeting with the Council next week, O.K.?”

What is the Best Way to What is the Best Way to Handle Conflict???Handle Conflict???

No silver bullet or magic formula.No silver bullet or magic formula.

Key is knowing when to use each Key is knowing when to use each strategy, and not to let the situation strategy, and not to let the situation get out of controlget out of control

Remember…Remember…Negative Behavior Negative Behavior never confronted, never never confronted, never changes!!!!!changes!!!!!


Review various conflict Review various conflict management resources.management resources.

Conflict Management Conflict Management ResourcesResources

““Conflict Management”Conflict Management” i-LEaD, Betty A. Krejci, Purdue University i-LEaD, Betty A. Krejci, Purdue University

Cooperative ExtensionCooperative Extension

““Conflict in Extension…It happens!”Conflict in Extension…It happens!” 2002 NELD Class - Maryann Dickason, 2002 NELD Class - Maryann Dickason,

Natalie Fowler, Kris Goff, Mike Manning, Natalie Fowler, Kris Goff, Mike Manning, Steve McKinley, Diane Roell-ParisSteve McKinley, Diane Roell-Paris


Thomas, K.W. & Kilman, R.H. Thomas, K.W. & Kilman, R.H. Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument, www.cpp.comInstrument, www.cpp.com

Thomas, K.W. Introduction to Conflict Thomas, K.W. Introduction to Conflict Management, Improving Management, Improving Performance Using the TKI, Performance Using the TKI, www.cpp.comwww.cpp.com


A Model for Managing Controversial A Model for Managing Controversial Issues for County Fairs (and other Issues for County Fairs (and other sticky situations), University of sticky situations), University of Minnesota Extension, Minnesota Extension, http://www.fourh.umn.edu/resources/http://www.fourh.umn.edu/resources/Appeals_Process.pdf Appeals_Process.pdf


Demonstrate methods to Demonstrate methods to effectively resolve conflict effectively resolve conflict

situations.situations.

Conflict Management Conflict Management ScenariosScenarios

Scenario #1Scenario #1

The President of the board to which you The President of the board to which you are an advisor works hard at each are an advisor works hard at each meeting to make everyone feel meeting to make everyone feel welcome. But, when it comes to welcome. But, when it comes to encouraging committees to work and encouraging committees to work and the members to complete their the members to complete their assignments, nothing positive seems to assignments, nothing positive seems to happen. As advisor you have been happen. As advisor you have been asked by some of the board members asked by some of the board members to resolve this situation. to resolve this situation.


It is county fair week. The 4-H Fashion It is county fair week. The 4-H Fashion Revue judging results have been Revue judging results have been announced earlier in the evening. A announced earlier in the evening. A parent is heading toward you, the parent is heading toward you, the Extension Educator, and she doesn’t look Extension Educator, and she doesn’t look happy. As she approaches you, she happy. As she approaches you, she proceeds to tell you how her daughter was proceeds to tell you how her daughter was cheated out of a chance to compete at the cheated out of a chance to compete at the State Fair. Your job is to resolve this State Fair. Your job is to resolve this situation.situation.


May 15th is the deadline to submit all 4-H May 15th is the deadline to submit all 4-H Livestock Enrollment forms in your county Livestock Enrollment forms in your county 4-H program. As 4-H/Youth Extension 4-H program. As 4-H/Youth Extension Educator, you have taken steps to inform Educator, you have taken steps to inform your members throughout the year of this your members throughout the year of this important deadline. On May 16th a 4-H important deadline. On May 16th a 4-H parent comes to your office with forms in parent comes to your office with forms in hand ready to submit them. You explain hand ready to submit them. You explain the deadline to this parent who the deadline to this parent who immediately becomes irate and demands immediately becomes irate and demands you accept these forms!you accept these forms!


A 4-H family has been away and did not A 4-H family has been away and did not get the message (left on their answering get the message (left on their answering machine) that the 4-H Club Family Fun machine) that the 4-H Club Family Fun Night was changed to Tuesday night. The Night was changed to Tuesday night. The family shows up on Wednesday night (the family shows up on Wednesday night (the original date printed in the club calendar) original date printed in the club calendar) at the advisor’s home ready for the at the advisor’s home ready for the program. The family is very unhappy and program. The family is very unhappy and calls you, the Extension Educator, the next calls you, the Extension Educator, the next day to share their concerns.day to share their concerns.


During a 4-H Club meeting two young During a 4-H Club meeting two young ladies, who have always been good ladies, who have always been good friends in the past, become caught up in a friends in the past, become caught up in a discussion on who would be this year’s 4-discussion on who would be this year’s 4-H Fair Queen. Instead of supporting each H Fair Queen. Instead of supporting each other, each starts to tell others how much other, each starts to tell others how much they have given to the program and why they have given to the program and why they should be Queen. The conversation they should be Queen. The conversation has gotten out of hand. As advisor you has gotten out of hand. As advisor you need to help the officers regain control.need to help the officers regain control.

Tips to Handling ConflictsTips to Handling Conflicts

Keep program policies with youKeep program policies with you Listen and ask clarifying questionsListen and ask clarifying questions Write notes and keep record of Write notes and keep record of

conversationsconversations Consider various optionsConsider various options

Tips to Handling ConflictsTips to Handling Conflicts

Learn from the conflictLearn from the conflict What did you do well?What did you do well? What would you like to improve the next What would you like to improve the next

time?time? What changes (if any) need to be made What changes (if any) need to be made

as a result of this issue?as a result of this issue? Real-life examples and tips???Real-life examples and tips???

Conflict Quiz ReviewConflict Quiz Review

1.1. FalseFalse

2.2. FalseFalse

3.3. FalseFalse

4.4. FalseFalse

5.5. TrueTrue

6.6. TrueTrue

7.7. FalseFalse

8.8. FalseFalse

9.9. FalseFalse

10.10. TrueTrue

11.11. TrueTrue

12.12. FalseFalse

Questions?Questions?

……for your participation for your participation throughout the 4-H 101 throughout the 4-H 101

Series!Series!An evaluation of the series will be An evaluation of the series will be coming shortly via e-mail. Thank coming shortly via e-mail. Thank

you in advance for your feedback.you in advance for your feedback.

Management Techniques 4-H 101: Return to the Basics CES Staff Development Series Tuesday, March 14, 2006, 9:30-11:30 a.m. IP Video Presentation by Steve.

Documents

characteristics of conflict

stages of conflict

conflict situations

times of conflict

conflict management

incompatible internal

conflict handling modes

individualsgroups slide