Leading well when everyone else is weird

Welcome!

Leading well when everyone

else is weird

Youth for Christ Staff Conference January 2014

“If you would just stop being ‘weird’

then everything would be fine”

Imaginary conversations with the ‘weird

one’ (where you’re putting them

straight)

Fantasising about your perfect team

Symptoms of weird in your team

• It creates confusion, tension and conflict

• It sucks emotional energy

• It causes a team to misfire

• Teams do not achieve their potential

impact

• Great team members will leave

When not addressed weird behaviour

matters because:

“Very strange and unusual, unexpected

or not natural”

Cambridge English dictionary

Weird

• I didn’t anticipate it

• It’s not how I’d do it

• I don’t like your style

• I don’t understand you:

Your personality, preference,

your __________

• You’re not like me

What we (usually) mean by weird

.

• Theology of weird: “You will always

have the weird among you”

• In teams:

Some weird is bad and needs to be

addressed

Most weird is potentially good –

diverse teams deliver better results

Embracing the truth about weird

• Everyone is weird

• You are weird too

Embracing the truth about weird

(back to theology)

Because leaders are disproportionately

influential, when leaders are weird

they create a lot of weirdness in

others

Embracing the truth about weird

Most of the weirdness in others is caused

by the weirdness in me

You are, therefore, the weirdest person

in the room

Embracing the truth about weird

• What are you doing that others’ on

your team find weird?

• What kind of reaction does your

behaviour stimulate in others?

My weird behaviour

• Leaders own their weirdness

• Leaders own their impact on others

• Serving others (and God) means

reducing your weirdness

• The less weird you are the better your

team will perform

“I am {insert name} and I am weird...”

Embracing the truth that you‘re weird

• Working with feedback

• From those you work with (all levels)

If you were to solicit feedback on your

leadership who would you ask?

How to become less weird (the process)

3 Questions:

• How do you experience me?

• What do I do well as a leader?

• What do I need to improve as a leader?

How to become less weird

• Identifies our blind spots

• Trends are harder to ignore/excuse

• Makes weird behaviour specific

Feedback makes the unconscious,

conscious and specific

Unconscious Incompetence

Conscious Incompetence

Conscious Competence

Unconscious Competence

• Aim to develop a new automatic

response

• Have to go through ‘grown zone’ first

• Start by defining your desired

behaviour and situations (from

feedback)

From conscious incompetence to

unconscious competence

• Describe the benefits & loss (motivation)

• A cycle of practice & reflection

• Repeat (a lot)

• Regular feedback from a few who are for you

• Celebrate progress

From conscious incompetence to

unconscious competence

If possible, plug in to an external coach who

can support you

From conscious incompetence to

unconscious competence

Practice, reflection, practice....

Replacing unproductive attitude and

action with something fruitful

When it doesn’t work, look below the

surface (what drives you?)

From conscious incompetence to

unconscious competence

• Get Feedback

• Own it (I want to change this)

• Name the new behaviour (describe gain of

mastering it and the loss of not)

• Practice and reflect and repeat

(with regular feedback)

• Celebrate growth

Summary: Becoming less wierd

• Less weirdness all round

• Others will follow your example

• Develop a culture of mutual feedback

and supported growth

• More energy into the mission

• Increased impact

Just imagine...

From this session, what will you do?

What is your next actionable step?

Closing

Thank you!