Keys to Developing Habits that Ease Tensions, Build ... Communication’s Hidden Dimensions . Keys to Developing Habits that . Ease Tensions, Build Relationships . Carol C. Shuherk

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Seeing Communication’s Hidden Dimensions

Keys to Developing Habits that Ease Tensions, Build Relationships

Carol C. Shuherk PhD Senior Associate Provost

University of Rochester

June 10th, 2015

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Intent versus Impact

The Hidden Dimensions of Communication

Intent Impact

That’s Not What I Said!! …Or Is It??

INTENT: Where are you on the project? IMPACT: What’s taking you so long? INTENT: I can help you complete that IMPACT: I don’t trust you to do it right INTENT: How long will your mother be with us? IMPACT: I dread having that woman in my home

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Key: The intent of a message rarely matches its impact


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Key: We perceive the world through the lens of our expectations

The Hidden Dimension of Communication

Observation

Interpretation

Conclusion

Four More Years

Letters to the Editor

Reader #1 Do you have to be

so cut and dry…..couldn’t you be a little bit celebratory?

Reader #2 Is it your role to be

celebratory? I prefer my news to be objective.

Kansas City Star, November 2008

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Key: Selective Perception has Pitfalls


Distorted Lens

Recency Error Representative Error

Attribution Error Rumination Error

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We do not see things as they are We see things as we are

Anais Nin

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Key: All Communication has Two Levels of Meaning

The Hidden Dimension of Communication

Content Meaning Relationship Meaning


Key: Communicators have Multiple Goals

Content

Process

Relationship

Identity



Content Expressed

Process Expressed

Relationship Felt

Identity Felt



Content 4th priority What is the

subject matter for discussion?

Process 3rd priority: How do we go

about discussing this?

Relationship 2nd priority: How do I want to be treated in this relationship?

Identity 1st priority: How can I

preserve my self-concept, my self esteem?

Sorting out Intent, Perception, Meaning, Goals

You’re in a meeting with staff, working on a plan for reporting safety issues; you want a system

that is replicable and easy to use. There’s never been a consistent approach. You start to say “The reason why I want this is…” and the

most senior staffer cuts in. She snorts, rolls her eyes upward and says, “I don’t know WHY you

do the things you do.” This public sarcasm is a pattern with her

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The Power Continuum

Communication and Influence: Power

Either/Or---------------------------Both/And

The only morally defensible

relationship is one between equals anonymous

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Communication Influence: Power

Power Play: Passive Aggression

Dominating Power Styles Beget--- Resistance: Strategic Incompetence Feigned Misunderstanding Selective Amnesia Purposeful Procrastination Tactical Tardiness Equalizing Power Styles Beget---

Responsiveness

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Communication and Power

Power Currencies

Expertise Resource Control

Interpersonal Linkages Communication Skill

Calm Persistence

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Communication and Influence

Five Approaches to Getting People to do What You Want them to Do

Autocratic: You decide

Autocratic/Sales: You solicit input, then decide

Consultative: You solicit input, decide, and explain

Consensual: You facilitate a group decision

Group Derived: You give it to the group to decide

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Communication and Personal Leadership Style

How Can I Get People to Comply?

Key Questions in determining approach:

Can I insure quality? ---do I have all the needed information? ---are others committed to the goal? ---is this a clear cut or complex matter?

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Communication and Personal Leadership Style

How Can I Get People to Comply?

Key Questions in determining approach:

Can I ensure acceptance? ---how critical is acceptance to implementation? ---are there differing views on procedure? ---is everyone committed and able?

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Making people feel genuinely listened to

Communication, Power, and Leadership Style

What is the Greatest of Communication Skill of all?

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What are the Tools of Good Listening?

Level I: Nonverbal Attentiveness

Level II: Content Reflection

Level III: Content & Feeling Reflection

Genuineness

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What are the Habits That Can Ease Tension and Build Relationships?

Mindfulness

(of the complexities that lie below the surface)

Conscious Flexibility (adapting style to audience in order to influence)

Active Listening (exercising Level III listening daily)

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Seeing Communication’s Hidden Dimensions

Keys to Developing Habits that Ease Tensions, Build Relationships

Carol C. Shuherk PhD Senior Associate Provost

[email protected]

June 10th, 2015

Keys to Developing Habits that Ease Tensions, Build ... Communication’s Hidden Dimensions . Keys to Developing Habits that . Ease Tensions, Build Relationships . Carol C. Shuherk

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