ISSUE IVthe power rankings for the ranking you see on your matchup just to make it more interesting than the ranking by record and points. Love, Thad Taylor Deputy Commissioner Top

ISSUE IV

1

Hello Homies,

Deflect, deflect, deflect. When you write the fantasy newsletter and your

team enters Monday night football with 65 points, all you want to do is deflect

the embarrassment at someone else. I am gonna be doing a combination of

eating crow and deflecting. Grant came up to me at work on Tuesday and told

me he was gonna tear me apart in this newsletter. My mission then became to

seek out the stats that I needed to bury him. The only thing is that the more

advanced I get, the worse my team looks. I haven’t been unlucky or gone up

against elite competition. I have just stunk. Let’s look at the big picture of the

league. Since our league has expanded to 12 teams, we have seen teams score

under 100 points about 21% of the time. Here is a look at how many times each

team has committed this embarrassing crime.

As you can see, I am the primary reason it happens 21% of

the time, because it happens to me 44% of the time. Chip

meanwhile has managed not to flop a single time?! The worst

Chip has done is 107 points. That is impressive. So I wanted

to back up the tape a bit. Let’s see who was grade A trash in

2018. This means we had only 10 teams and about 20 more

starting caliber players in circulation. So, in 2018, Nick went

sub 100 6 times, Jeffrey did it 3 times, and Grant did twice.

Nobody else did more than once. If we did a deep dive maybe

we would find justification for Nick setting records for being

bad, but that does register as more foul than my atrocity. Also, can we please

recall that last year my keepers were Antonio Brown and Kerryon Johnson??

OK that’s enough.

I want to talk about all of us now. Each of us obviously finish 1st through

12th each week, so I compiled the data to see how often each of us finish 1st, top

3, top 6, and last. Here is a chart that is hopefully pretty readable so you can see

the percentage of times you finish in those spots. I’ll mention the eyepopping

Thad 7

Connor 5

Jeffrey 5

Alec 4

Grant 4

Matt 4

Nick 4

Andy 3

Andre 2

Ridge 2

Stephen 2

Chip 0

2

numbers. Andre finishes first more

than any other spot and more than

anybody else. A third of the time the

odds are that he outscores everyone.

Nick, Connor, and surprisingly Ridge

have never been the top scorer on a

given week. Chip is the only one that

finishes top 3 over half the time. Jeff

and Connor hardly ever score in the

top 3. Andy and Ridge both score in

the top half 75% of the time! Alec

and Thad finish last most often. Andre, Andy, and Chip have never had the

lowest score in a given week. One of the most interesting things I get from this

chart is that it is not Chip and Andy in sole possession of all these stats. It is

surprisingly spread around.

On a DK note, we set a record this week. Our average DK points was

18.58 this week, which is the highest league average ever. The previous high was

18.5. Half of you scored 20+ points which is ridiculous. I’ll talk about this more

later.

POWER RANKINGS! In a couple pages you will see some power

rankings. These come from a third party site, and I honestly have no idea how

they are computed, but I am sure it a pretty intelligent system. I am going to use

the power rankings for the ranking you see on your matchup just to make it

more interesting than the ranking by record and points.

Love,

Thad Taylor Deputy Commissioner

Top 1 Top 3 Top 6 Bottom 1

Alec 0.06 0.19 0.50 0.19

Andre 0.31 0.38 0.50 0.00

Andy 0.13 0.25 0.75 0.00

Chip 0.19 0.56 0.69 0.00

Connor 0.00 0.06 0.13 0.13

Grant 0.06 0.31 0.50 0.13

Jeffrey 0.00 0.06 0.44 0.13

Matt 0.13 0.19 0.44 0.06

Nick 0.00 0.25 0.56 0.06

Ridge 0.00 0.31 0.75 0.06

Stephen 0.06 0.19 0.50 0.06

Thad 0.06 0.25 0.31 0.19

3

DK AWARDS

KILLER KONG – We had some great DK

performances this week. If you read the intro, then

you know we had the best DK week in recorded

league history. Many of you killed it, but I feel

compelled to give it to the highest point total of the

week, and that is Ridge. Ridge put up 36 points this

week and set the record for this young season.

Stephen, Connor, and Matt all would have set the

record for this year if not for Ridge. Ridge’s big

week moves him up to the second highest DK

scorer in league.

KIRBY KONG – The author. The illustrator.

Me. It wasn’t a record setting poor

performance, but I did have the lowest DK of

the week with 6. My kickers have yet to attempt

a field goal!! It’s been a new kicker every week

too. Connor gets consideration for this spot;

despite getting 27 points this week he is still last

in the league in average DK points by a healthy

margin.

DIDDY KONG – It’s a tight race between Grant

and Connor for this one this week. Matt put up 26

DK points and caught an L, while Grant put up a

lowly L and got a smacking win. Matt had a larger

DK margin of victory though so I feel like Grant

earned this award. There is not clear cut criteria, but

Grant put up a number lower than Connor’s average

and still won. 7 DK points is not what you expect,

especially when you have Butker. Diddy win though?

Yeah he did. By plenty.

4

Power Rankings

Team Rec PPG Strk Score

1. Mos Eisley Han Shot First Daniel K.

3-0 #1-145.2 W3 1.28

2. Daddy's Darlings (IR) Andy T.

2 1-2 #2-136.5 L2 1.13

3. Huntington Hedgehogs Matt P.

2-1 #5-130.2 L1 1.07

4. Casual Khakis Stephen R.

3 2-1 #6-129.2 W1 1.07

5. Ruffles Have Ridges Ridge H., Jeremy M.

4 2-1 #3-133.2 W2 1.06

6. Team Nolan Nick N.

4 2-1 #7-127.0 L1 1.05

7. Sorry, I Cam on your TD's Grant S., Grant S.

1 2-1 #8-125.5 W2 1.01

8. Chip Fisto Chip S.

3 1-2 #4-130.5 W1 1.01

9. Cheesus Christ Andre F.

4 1-2 #9-121.0 L2 0.96

10. Tua Good Tua Be True Jeffrey R.

1-2 #10-119.3 W1 0.91

11. Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi Thad T.

3 1-2 #11-108.5 L1 0.79

12. Richard Sherman Connor M.

0-3 #12-101.2 L3 0.68

Green is up/Red is Down= Power Rank Change Rec = Record

PPG = Points Per Game Strk = Winning/Losing Streak

Score = Power Rank Score

5

Grant’s Gambling Gazebo

Hello beautiful people, I hope when you read this, it finds you doing well.

Last week I had my first winning record of the season going 9-7. Not great, but as

long as you’re above .500 you’re winning money. Let’s keep this hot streak going.

** I learned a valuable lesson over the weekend to try and not right a wrong by

lying then telling the truth. If only you knew what went on inside this brain of

mine. It’s a blast, but I live by the phrase I’m an idiot not a dumbass. Big Boobie

Guy would’ve been proud. Don’t ask, just ponder.**

(This is an inside joke that I thought was pretty funny. I’m sorry if you do not get it. If you don’t,

here’s a picture of a teacup pig eating ice cream that I thought was super cute.)

Season totals: 25-23 (52%)

6

Grant’s Gambling Gazebo

Week 4 Picks

Jets -1 vs Broncos

I wasn’t able to get this in on time, but my pick was Jets -1. Terrible choice. I’m

implementing a no betting on the Jets rule for myself until further notice.

Colts -3 at Bears

I’ll take the Bears and the points at home. Big Dick Nick!!! Bears +3

Jaguars +2.5 at Bengals

I think the Jaguars showed us last week that they were who we thought they

were. I think Joe Burrow gets his first win. Bengals -2.5

Browns +4.5 at Cowboys

I really like the Browns in this game which is why I’m taking the Cowboys.

Cowboys -4.5

Saints -3 at Lions

This line started at 5.5 and has dropped to three. The Saints never lose in

October. Saints -3

Seahawks -5 at Dolphins

This is another game that has moved. Started at -7 and has dropped to -5. This

might be a classic trap game. I’ll take the Dolphins. Dolphins +5

Chargers +7 at Buccaneers

7 points is a lot. The Bucs are severely banged up on offense. I’ll take the Chargers

and points. Chargers +7

7

Grant’s Gambling Gazebo

Ravens -14 at Washington

This spread scares the crap out of me. I think this is primed for a backdoor cover.

No doubt the Ravens win this game. I don’t want to do this, but I’m taking

Washington. To many points not to. Washington +14

Cardinals -3 at Panthers

The Panthers aren’t good. I think Kyler kills them. Cardinals -3

Vikings +4 at Texans

Both of these teams are 0-3. The Texans got schedule fucked so I don’t know how

bad they actually are. I can see this being a field goal game. Vikings +4

Giants +13 at Rams

This is the same reasoning as the Ravens game. Giants +13

Patriots +7 at Chiefs

Cam has fucking Covid. Chiefs -7

Bills -3 at Raiders

I really think this Bills team is good. Bills -3

Eagles +7 at 49ers

If the Eagles lose this game, Wentz will get benched. He has to play well.

Eagles +7

Falcons +7 at Packers

I’m betting against the Falcons until they prove me wrong. Packers -7

8

Luckiness

Team Rec Win%

Rec vs.

League

RVL

Win% Diff

Mos Eisley Han Shot First Daniel K.

3-0 100% 26-7 79% 21%

Ruffles Have Ridges Ridge H., Jeremy M.

2-1 67% 15-18 45% 21%

Sorry, I Cam on your TD's Grant S., Grant S.

2-1 67% 16-17 48% 18%

Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi Thad T.

1-2 33% 6-27 18% 15%

Casual Khakis Stephen R.

2-1 67% 19-14 58% 9%

Team Nolan Nick N.

2-1 67% 20-13 61% 6%

Huntington Hedgehogs Matt P.

2-1 67% 21-12 64% 3%

Tua Good Tua Be True Jeffrey R.

1-2 33% 14-19 42% -9%

Cheesus Christ Andre F.

1-2 33% 14-19 42% -9%

Chip Fisto Chip S.

1-2 33% 17-16 52% -18%

Richard Sherman Connor M.

0-3 0% 7-26 21% -21%

Daddy's Darlings (IR) Andy T.

1-2 33% 23-10 70% -36%

Green You're Lucky!

Yellow Meh... You don't need luck, you make your own.

Red Don't go betting the Millennium Falcon on a game of Sabacc anytime soon.

Rec Record (Not including an extra game vs. the league median score, if your league does that sort of thing.)

Win% Win Percentage

Rec vs. League Your record if you played every team in the league each week

RVL Win% Record vs. League Win Percentage. Your win percentage if you played every team in the league each week

Diff The Difference between RVL Win Percentage and Actual Win Percentage

9

The Bottom Three

I can’t say the bottom three always had an inspiration (it’s a week old), but now I am

going to attribute it to the bottom 10. The segment that ranks the 10 worst college

football teams. It’s a good little weekly column that also coined “pillow fight of the

week” that you will see later on in the matchups. The bottom 2 teams are going to

have a tough draw in the playoffs. We have obviously never done a 6 team playoff

before, but if it works how it usually does, and I think it will, then it would be better

to lose/win than win/lose. Both the 11 and 12 seed will be struggling the first 2 weeks

not to end up in the last place game. The winner will be in the 9v10 game, and if you

lose that then you end up right back in the last place game. The loser of the 11v12

stays put, and if they win the second week then they are safe. Nevertheless, the

bottom 2 teams have to win 2 postseason games to avoid getting last, whereas the 7th-

10th seed just need to win 1 to avoid last place. Let’s begin.

10th Matt

I am continuing to short the Matt stock, although I am moving him up 2 spots. He

exposed the first chink (no offense Andy) in his armor. I’ll admit he pied my face (a

British term I am probably using incorrectly) by already getting 25 out of Melvin

Gordon this week and having an RB2 rise above Mark Ingram. In fact, his team looks

pretty dang good. But until Gordon does it 2 weeks in a row I don’t buy it. And I am

not sure about Darrel Henderson at all!

11th Thad

After learning about my loss this week, my parents told me I have to move out. I am

ashamed and certainly embarrassed. I also see the chink (no offense Andy) in my own

armor. Way too many of my players are boom or bust guys. Metcalf has gone boom

boom boom (insert Adam Driver meme here), and I know I can’t count on more

booms. Okay boomer.

12th Connor

It isn’t the fact that he is 0-3 or the fact he dated Ellen Chambers. But in a week

where we have lost 1 game for sure and maybe 2 pending Pats v Chiefs, it shows the

importance of depth. This season might be a grind, and Connor is not built for that at

all. Him being 0-3 certainly doesn’t help though, and it greatly decreases his margin

for error. Connor is his own chink. (hehe)

*Escaping the bottom three is Jeffrey. Don’t cheer too much; its only because I suck.

10

Notes From Contributors

As I make it back to .500, I had my first bad beat with Daddy’s Darlings covering the spread by 0.6. I had a good week and look forward to it carrying it over into this week. This was written Thursday evening right before the game. Trends:

• 7/12 teams had a QB score 20 or more points those teams went 3-4 (Overall 11-11)

• 6 teams started a player that scored more than 30 points they finished 4-2 (Overall 11-8)

• The team with the higher scoring bench went 2-4 this week (Overall 7-11)

• Teams rostering a player that scores 40+ are 2-2

• Teams with TWO or more 25-point scores are 11-3 o Week 1: 3-1 o Week 2: 3-1 o Week 3: 5-1

• Teams with THREE or more 25-point scores are 2-0 o Week 1: 0-0 o Week 2: 1-0 o Week 3: 1-0

No Chipredictions this week ☹

11

Casual Khakis Ki-Thadi-Mundi

2-1 (4th Place) 1-2 (11th Place)

Breakdown: Stephen and Thad have played three times, with that winning 2 of those

and outscoring Stephen by 29 total points. That makes this a pretty competitive series.

No playoff matchups hurts this rivalry, but the fact these two earned the dynamic duo

superlative raises the rivalry score a level.

Casual Khakis (-2.8) vs Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi

The battle of Commissioner and Deputy Commissioner. In one of the highest scoring matchups somehow (considering Ki-

Thadi dropped 86.1 points last week). The game is projected to be

close and I do think it will be high scoring. I like a lot of the matchups in this game and think it will be close, but I think

someone on Ki-Thadi’s team will underperform giving Casual

Khakis a leg up.

Pick: Casual Khakis (-2.8)

RIVALRY

GRADE:

12

Cam On Ur TD’s Han Shot First

2-1 (7th Place) 3-0 (1st Place)

Breakdown: Grant is 1-0 vs Alec. He won their only matchup last year by 11 points.

Alec has outscored Grant all three weeks this year. Alec’s average of 145 points is

pretty insane and most likely unsustainable, but Grant only averages 119. Both teams

are pretty lucky, so winner likely rises/stays to #1 Lucky position.

Cam on your TDs (-2.6) vs Mos Eisley Han Shot First

Cam on your TDs lineup was not really set so I plugged in who I thought he would start and got this spread. In another

projected high scoring affair, I think that the team with the most

WR points will take it. The WRs leave much to be desired, but the RBs are on fire. Cam Newton is essentially an RB at the QB

position along with Kyler Murray. Mos Eisley is avg an insane 145

points a game while Cam on your TDs is averaging 125, still impressive but 20 points less. I will ride the hot streak.

Pick: Mos Eisley Han Shot First (+2.6)

RIVALRY

GRADE:

13

Richard Sherman Daddy’s Darlings (IR)

0-3 (12th Place) 1-2 (2nd Place)

Breakdown: Andy has never lost to Connor. This one could have been the pillow

fight of the week if the power rankings hadn’t put Andy at #2. That title will pass to

another. Despite being 3-0 vs Connor, Andy only leads the series by 60 points which

feels respectable given the lopsided spreads of most matchups. I will give these two a

slight rival upgrade for 3.5 years of being roommates, and both being 2X champions.

Richard Sherman (-6.9) vs Daddy’s Darlings (IR)

Richard Sherman is a 7-point favorite? That blows my mind.

Sherman is averaging a league low 101 points while Daddy’s

Darlings (IR) is averaging 136, which is good enough for second in the league. I wish I could take Richard Sherman but I cannot.

Pick: Daddy’s Darlings (IR) (+6.9)

RIVALRY

GRADE:

14

Hedgehogs Team Nolan

2-1 (3rd Place) 2-1 (6th Place)

Breakdown: This is the only matchup this week between teams in the top half of the

week. Matt is 1-0 vs Nick, and won the matchup by 31 points. Matt comes into this

matchup averaging 130 points while Nick averages 127. Both are above league

average. Nick did have is first sub 100 game of the season. He had 3 last season and 6

the year before. Roommate upgrade.

Team Nolan vs Huntington Hedgehogs (-10.4)

Team Nolan and Huntington Hedgehogs both had off weeks

last week combining to score ~200 points. Both teams are off to a

surprising start at 2-1. Team Nolan texted me “[referring to himself] fantasy god btw” and “Told you bout to win it all.” The

next week he put up less than 100 points. I have little faith in his

words but do like him to stay within 10 in this matchup if Adams is back like I think he will be.

Pick: Team Nolan (+10.4)

RIVALRY

GRADE:

15

Ruffles Have Ridges Cheesus Christ

2-1 (5th Place) 1-2 (9th Place)

Breakdown: Andre is 2-1 vs Ridge, but he leads the series in scoring by 81 points:

primarily thanks to a 71 points victory in their most recent competition. This year

Andre is only averaging 120 points while Ridge averages 133. The past 16 weeks

Andre is averaging 126 points and Ridge only 123.

Cheesus Christ (-2.7) vs Ruffles Have Ridges

Cheesus Christ currently has Pitt D/ST in and a free bench spot so I assume he will pick up maybe the Seahawks D/ST, which

would make him a slight favorite. This matchup is filled with

questionable players. Ruffles is struggling at RB and WR with injuries. Cheesus Christ is also struggling at WR and with RB

injuries. I think this will be a low scoring match with a clear

winner.

Pick: Cheesus Christ (-2.7)

RIVALRY

GRADE:

16

Chip Fisto Tua Good

1-2 (8th Place) 1-2 (10th Place)

Breakdown: Here is the pillow fight of the week. Chip leads this series 2-1 all-time.

He has only outscored Chip overall by 12 points, an average of 4 points per matchup.

(Only one of their matchups has been decided by less than 10 points) Chip is

averaging 11 more points per week this season than Jeffrey, but he is averaging 24

more than Jeff the past 16 weeks.

Chip Fisto vs Tua Good Tua Be True (-8.6)

In what is projected to be one of the highest scoring

matchups, Tua takes on Chip Fisto. Tua needs Thomas back to be the force he is projected to be. Im not sure he plays this week, but

the lack of consistency with Fuller V and Sony Michel is scary. I

think there is tons of upside with Chip Fisto, but I think that Tua’s floor is solid.

Pick: Tua Good Tua Be True (-8.6)

RIVALRY

GRADE:

17