He’s Just NOT that into you

HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Jennifer Gomes De Almeida- [email protected]

Jackie Kernaghan- [email protected] Merkle- [email protected]

Allison White- [email protected]

SUMMARY: By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo Based on a popular episode of Sex and the City. Consists of scenarios in which single women really

like a guy, but the guy is giving mixed messages, so the women come up with excuses and prefers to believe that he is afraid of commitment, instead of realizing that he isn’t into her.

Educates women on relationship guidelines, on how to tell when a guy isn’t really into them.

That despite the women’s good intention, they are wasting their time.

It focuses on empowering women to believe that they are worth more than that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fYpADFLJl0

ABOUT THE AUTHORS:

Gregory Behrendt -Born on July 21, 1963- Lives in L.A with wife and two daughters-Bachelor’s degree in theater from University of Oregon - Worked as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom, Sex and the City-Stand- up comedian and author

ABOUT THE AUTHORS: Liz Tuccillo

-Executive story editor for HBO’s Sex and the City- Author of the novel, How to Be Single- Currently single and lives in NYC

MAIN THESIS: The only reason why a man doesn’t

approach a woman is because he doesn’t want to.

If your partner isn't giving you the attention you expect, don't hang around and wait for change - just move on.

LESSONS LEARNED: An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are

not afraid of ruining the friendship. Don’t get tricked into asking him out. If

he likes you, he’ll do the asking. If you can find him, then he can find

you. If he wants to find you, he will. Men don’t forget how much they like

you. So put down the phone. You are good enough to be asked out.

CONTEXT: Why men don’t commit to a relationship. Men face little social pressure to get married

because unlike in times past it is a lot easier for a man to get sex without having to say I do.

Men dread the possible consequences in the likely event the relationship does not work out.

It is men’s nature to delay anything that can cause drastic changes to their lives.

Before they take that final plunge however they want to be sure they are making the best possible choice.

Men cannot handle "emotionally heavy" women. Women try to change them.

DATA: COLLECTED DATA? The book is addressed to …

urbane, heterosexual women looking for marriage. It's not exactly an under-served market, but

it is only slightly narrower than the Sex and the City demographic

WHAT THEIR ADVISE WOULD SAY … Two or three advice-column style questions

from women, which Greg answers; a paragraph or two under the heading "It's so simple," which reinforces the chapter titles

EXAMPLE: He’s Just Not that Into you if he’s not calling you … Page 24 The “But He’s been Traveling A LOT” Excuse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCWvVSE0WMk&feature=related

EXAMPLE OF DATA When conducting Studies, The authors

would survey their friends or a specific group of individuals.Example: Page 20, on the topic of “He’s just

not that into you if he’s not asking you out” We did an incredibly unscientific poll where we

polled twenty of our male friends (ranging from ages 26- 45) who are in serious long-term relationships. Not one of their relationships started with the women asking them out first. One guy even said that if she had, “It would have spoiled all the fun.”

- Reliable, creditable information? NO WAY!

SEEMINGLY INNOCENT WORDS AND PHRASES THAT CAN ALSO BE USED FOR EVIL What it should mean:

Friend: I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you

Busy: I was just inaugurated president of the United States today

Call me: I just dropped my cell phone in the ocean ad I lost your number

I’m not ready: I can’t find my pants

What it sometimes means: Friend: I’m just not that

into you.

Busy: I’m just not that into you.

Call me: I’m just not that into you.

I’m not ready: I’m just not that into you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APdfCXufnOA

RESULTS Is this book actually helpful? Why or

why not?

- This book is helpful for women to understand a male’s perspective of why perhaps a man is not calling them, marrying them etc.- Advice is blunt and brutally honest- However, advice that is given is not always appropriate for all scenarios.

RESULTS CON’T Is the author properly trained to write a

self-help book? - NO!

- Neither of them are educated in counseling or have studied relationships from a “scholarly” point of view- Not “dating experts”

Basically they are just a couple of co-workers who came together to write a book in hopes of helping women realize when men are just not interested.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (FWB) (MCGRINTY, KNOX, AND ZUSMAN, 2007)

170 students 75% were female and 25% were male Women were more emotionally

involved 61.4% admit to this

LIES AND DETECTING LIARS(SEAGER, & WISEMAN, 1999), (KORNET, 1997), AND

White lies and major lies Everyone lies Dating couples lie about 1/3 of the time Reduced eye contact Slower speech Increased shift in posture

FINAL EXAM QUESTION #1 The book, He’s Just Not that into you, is

based off of what TV sitcom? a. Friendsb. Will and Gracec. Sex and the Cityd. Three and a Half Men

Answer: C. Sex and the City

FINAL EXAM QUESTION #2 What was one aspect we learned one

lying in the Seagar & Wiseman and Kornet articles?

a. Only men lieb. When lying there is reduced eye contactc. Only women lied. There is only one type of lie one can tellAnswer: B. When lying there is reduced eye contact.

FINAL EXAM QUESTION #3

From the articles" Friends with benefits: women want friends, men want benefits” and “Fooling all of the people half of the time” what is one way someone can tell their partner is lying?

a. Reduced eye contactb. Increased shift in posturec. Slower speechd. All the above

Answer: D. All the Above

REFERENCE• McGinty, K., Knox, D., & Zusman, M. E.

(2007). Friends with benefits:women want “friends,” men want “benefits.” College Student Journal, 41(4), 1128-1131.

• Seager, P., & Wiseman, R. (1999). Fooling all of the people half of the time?. Science Spectra, (15), 32-37.

• Kornet, A. (1997). The truth about lying. Psychology Today, 30(3), 52-57.

• Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2010).Interpersonal communication: relating to others. Allyn and Bacon.