Getting Along With Others
Nov 10, 2014
Getting Along With Others
NOMORE
DRAMA!
POSSIBILITY?• Use conflicts for positive growth
experiences• Anger management
techniques/meditation• View situations as being difficult –
can be changed • Awareness of personality types &
individual conflict styles (including our own)
• Step back and consider who is being difficult and is this opinion relative?
POSSIBILITY?• We will examine conflict
theories• We will explore causes of
conflicts• We will review examples of
conflicts and difficult situations• We will consider advice and
practical tips from the experts• We will discuss our own
suggested solutions.
PEACE, HARMONY & WELLNESS
CONFLICTBANG!
RESOLUTION
What is Conflict?• A conflict is a fight, struggle, battle,
disagreement, dispute or quarrel.• A conflict can be as small as a
disagreement or as large as a war.
What is Conflict?• Conflict-you’ll find it
everywhere!• Whenever two people
come into contact, the potential for conflict arises. It is a normal part of human interaction
• A struggle over wants, needs, goals and values.
Things We Fight Over• WANT: Something one desires• NEED: Something necessary• VALUE: Estimated or assigned worth • GOAL: What one works to achieve
WANT NEED
GOALVALUE
BASES OF CONFLICTS:Differences in wants, needs,
goals or values
Scarcity of resources: property, money, time or power
Competition
Rivalry Sport
Conflict Causes
DIFFERENCES: CULTURAL & LANGUAGE
SEXUALEDUCATION
AGERELIGION & VALUESBELIEFS & POLITICS
Conflict Causes
BODY LANGUAGENO / POOR LEADERSHIP
PROCRASTINATIONPERSONAL VS PRO GOALS
STRESSFRUSTRATION
Conflict Causes
BURN OUTEGO
WORK OVERLOADPOOR PLANNING
CHANGEETHICS / MORALS
LINDA’S SADSTORY
Conflict Causes
MANIPULATIONNOT VALUING OTHERSNEED FOR CONTROL
SABOTAGE IMMATURITYRESISTANCE
MANIPULATIONNOT VALUING OTHERSNEED FOR CONTROL
SABOTAGE IMMATURITYRESISTANCE
Conflict Causes
NEPOTISMJEALOUSY
LACK OF UNDERSTANDING PREJUDICE / BIASES
UNCLEAR ROLESSCAPEGOATING
Conflict Causes
PERSONALITY CLASHFAULT FINDING
APATHYATTITUDES
UNFAIR DISCIPLINEINCONSISTENCY
Benefits of Conflict
• Conflicts increase awareness of problems• Conflicts can make life more interesting• Conflicts allow you to see different
perspectives• Conflicts create new ideas• Conflicts allow you to learn more about
others• Conflicts allow you to learn more about
yourself
A Conflict Has Been Helpful If:
• You are able to relate better with others
• You feel better about each other• You are satisfied with the results
of the conflict• Your ability to resolve conflicts has
improved• You feel your point of view has
been heard• You have learned something about;
a topic, another person and/or yourself
Conflict Tips • Ask Questions – Communicate wants• Consider everyone’s expectations• Accept there will be different perspectives • Watch for emotional triggers & remain calm• Focus on preventing escalation• Commit to working things out• Be familiar with conflict styles
Conflict Tips • Awareness of the various conflict styles allows for a
better understanding of others
• By being able to predict someone’s reactions, we can
send out triggers for positive responses
• Knowledge empowers; as with this understanding,
comes the ability to
“influence others”
Sort Of Like …
MAGIC!
The LangsWitch
What Conflict Style Are You?
The Turtle: Avoidance• The strength of this style is that this person
can easily look past conflicts and realizes most conflicts will solve themselves. They are calm on the outside and help de-escalate emotions in conflict.
• The struggle with this style is the tendency to minimize, deny, and avoid conflict altogether. Major conflict tends to grow worse when it isn’t addressed.
The Turtle: Avoidance
The Teddy Bear: Accommodation• The strength of this style is how likeable and
lovable this person is. They want and need harmony. They will accept blame just to bring peace to angry situations.
• The struggle of this style is that a teddy bear may be taken advantage of; become a doormat. Secretly, they tend to have low self-esteem and use likability from others as a way to build their own self-confidence.
The Teddy Bear: Accommodation
The Shark: Competition• The strength of this style is the ability to be
strong, courageous and bring a conflict out in the open quickly. A shark is a leader that can confront bullies.
• The struggles are becoming too pushy, tactless and hurting people’s feelings. Sharks can escalate emotions and create barriers easily.
The Shark: Competition
The Fox: Compromise• The strength of the fox is communication and a
willingness to find win-win or lose-lose compromises. Often the fox is able to craft intelligent intermediate solutions.
• The struggles of the fox are an overuse of deceptiveness and manipulation devices. People may feel “outfoxed” and cheated by others using this style.
The Fox: Compromise
The Owl: Collaboration• The strength of this style is integrity. Owls build
trust, respect and deep relationships. They are not tied to their way and tend to have an open mind for solutions that create a win-win experience.
• The struggle is that owls must have two willing parties with high levels of communication skills in order to collaborate. Some conflicts require quick solutions and this style may take too long.
The Owl: Collaboration
Successful Conflict Resolution Means Being Flexible Enough To
Use All Conflict Styles Depending on The Situation!
THE BIG FOURWith the Little Four
Just To Make You Write More
BIG ONE
Don’t Allow Yourself To Be Consumed With The Argument
Don’t Stay In An Abusive Situation
When There Is Nothing To Be Gained By Winning / Settling
BIG TWOCHANGECHANGE
CHANGEYour Attitude MUST change
Check Your Perception
See Beyond Your Pre Conceived Opinions
1. It is your responsibility to resolve the conflict.
2. Every action has a positive intention.
3. People are doing the best they can with what they have.
4. Flexibility is the only way to get results
Mini Four(Beliefs of Change)
BIG THREEChange THEIR AttitudeUnderstand Why They Are Difficult
(and show understanding)
Gently Show Them Another Angle(and that you deserve respect)
BIG FOURTAKE A STANDLast Option
Develop A Strategy – Plan, Don’t ReactConsult With Others
Take Situation Seriously
Defend Your Position With Facts
GIVEPEACE
A CHANCE!!