Fail Forward, How to Turn Mistakes into Steps to Success

Fail ForwardTurn Mistakes Into

Steps to Success

by Alex [email protected]

at the Learning Enrichment Foundation

November 20, 2013

To succeed, you need only 4 things:

i. Relationships (ability to get along with others)

ii. Equipping (those closest to you influence your level of success)

iii. Attitude (your attitude, more than you aptitude, determine your altitude)

iv. Leadership (to be more effective, improve your leadership skills)

Today we’ll focus on changing your attitude about failure.

My intention is to help you turn mistakes into steps to success.

4 steps to failing forward:

1. Realize there is one major difference between average people and achieving people.

2. Get a new definition of failure.3. Remove the “you” from failure.4. Take action and reduce your fear.

1. The one major difference between average people and achieving people

What makes the difference? Why do some people achieve so much? Is it…

• Family background? It’s something to be grateful for, but no. A high

percentage of successful people come from broken homes.

• Wealth? No, many great achievers come from households of below-average to

average means.

• Opportunity? Opportunity is in the eye of the beholder. Two people with

similar gifts, talents and resources can look at a similar situation, and one will see opportunity while the other sees nothing.

• High morals? No. Both you and I know people with high integrity who achieve

little, as well as dishonorable people who are high producers.

• The absence of hardship? For every achiever who has avoided tragedy

there’s a Nick Vujicic who overcame extreme physical disabilities or countless people who have survived great horrors.

The difference between average people and achieving ones is their perception of and

response to failure.

Nothing else has the same kind of impact on people’s ability to achieve and to accomplish whatever their hearts and minds desire.

“There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really one way to be a loser and that is to

fail and not look beyond the failure.”

(Kyle Rote Jr.)

Some of the attitudes I’ve had about failure (have you had similar experiences?):

1. I feared failure (“1 of 3 of you won’t make it”)

2. I misunderstood failure (it’s not a percentage or a

test, and it’s not a single event. It’s a process)

3. I was unprepared for failure (assessed as “not a

strategic thinker” when that is one of my biggest assets)

“People are training for success when they should be training for failure.

Failure is far more common than success; poverty is more prevalent than wealth; and

disappointment is more normal than arrival.”

(J. Wallace Hamilton, in Leadership Magazine)

Aim for success, but also learn to confidently look the prospect of failure in the eye and move forward anyway.

The question is not if you will have problems, but how you are going to deal with them.

Are you going to fail forward or backward?

Motivational speakers like to ask “If the possibility of failure were erased, what would you attempt to achieve?” It’s an interesting question that can prompt us to ponder upon our lives’ possibilities. But it’s a bad question.

There’s no achievement without failure. The framing of the question gives people the wrong expectation. Here’s a better question:

“If your perception of and response to failure were changed, what would you attempt to achieve?”

(John C. Maxwell, leadership author and speaker)

Regardless of the type of difficulties you’re facing, the key to overcoming them doesn’t lie in changing your circumstances.

It’s in changing yourself. Make a commitment to fail forward.

Failing Backward Failing Forward

Blaming others Taking responsibility

Repeating the same mistakes Learning from each mistake

Expecting never to fail again Knowing failure is a part of progress

Expecting to continually fail Maintaining a positive attitude

Being limited by past mistakes Taking new risks

Thinking “I am a failure” Believing something didn’t work

Quitting Persevering

2. Get a new definition of failure and success

“The difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how an individual views a mistake.” (Nelson Boswell)

Don’t quickly judge isolated situations in your life and label them as failures. Keep the bigger picture in mind. Such a perspective leads to perseverance, which gives you more opportunities for success.

How should you judge failure?

a. People think failure is avoidable – it’s not

Know that you’re going to fail and makes mistakes. Here are the Rules for Being Human:Rule #1: You will learn lessons. Rule #2: There are no mistakes – only lessons.Rule #3: A lesson is repeated until it is learned. Rule #4: If you don’t learn the easy lessons, they get harder. (i.e. pain will be

your teacher)

Rule #5: You’ll know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change.

How should you judge failure? (continued)

b. People think failure is an event – it’s notSuccess isn’t a destination, it’s a journey you take. And whether you succeed comes from what you do day to day. Success is a process. The same applies to failure – it’s the process of how you deal with life along the way.

John Maxwell provides a useful definition for success in his book “The Success Journey”:

SUCCESS = knowing your purpose in life +

growing to reach your potential + sowing seeds that benefit others

How should you judge failure? (continued)

c. People think failure is objective – it’s not

You are the only person who can label what you do a failure.

Did you know that the average for entrepreneurs is 3.8 failures before

they build a successful company? (source: Tulane University professor Lisa Amos)

They don’t see setbacks as failures, so they overcome difficult odds and become successful.

How should you judge failure? (continued)

d. People think failure is the enemy – it’s not

Most people try to avoid failure, but it takes adversity to create success.

“Failure is good. It’s fertilizer. Everything I’ve learned about coaching I’ve learned from making mistakes.” (NBA coach Rick Pitino)

Observe that high achievers don’t see failure as the enemy. Musicologist Eloise Ristad said that “when we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel.”

How should you judge failure? (continued)

e. People think failure is a stigma – it’s not

“Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out.” (US Senator Sam Ervin Jr.)

Don’t let the mistakes you’ve made get you down. And don’t let yourself think of them as stigmas.

Make each failure a step to success.

How should you judge failure? (continued)

f. People think failure is final – it’s not

Steps to success:1. Afraid of being a fool2. Looks like a fool3. Fool4. Successful entrepreneur5. Genius

How can you learn a new definition of failure and develop a different perspective on failure and success?

By making mistakes.

When you take on the next project, give yourself a quota of mistakes to make and try to hit it before bringing the task to completion. Even if you surpass it, increase the quota.

Remember, mistakes don’t define failure. They’re just the price of achievement on the success journey.

3. Remove the “you” from failure

Tell yourself, “I’m not a failure. I failed at doing something.” There’s a big difference.

All great achievers are given multiple reasons to believe they are failures. But in the face of rejection and failings, they continue believing in themselves and refuse to consider themselves failures.

Give each project your very best. Regardless of what the results will be, you’ll have a clear conscience.

7 abilities needed to fail forward:

1. Achievers reject rejection (take responsibility for your actions, but don’t

take failure personally)

2. Achievers see failure as temporary3. Achievers see failures as isolated incidents (don’t let

incidents colour your view of yourself)

4. Achievers keep expectations realistic (goal <-> effort

required)

5. Achievers focus on strengths (focus on developing and maximizing

your strengths, but address a weakness if it’s a matter of character)

6. Achievers vary approaches to achievement7. Achievers bounce back

Don’t wait until you feel positive to move forward. Take action toward you goal and you’ll start feeling better.

4. Take action and reduce your fear

3 forms of inaction when people are stuck

in a fear cycle:

a. Paralysis (people give up any hope of moving forward)

“The worst danger we face is the danger of being paralyzedby doubts and fears. This danger is brought about those whoabandon faith and sneer at hope. It is brought on by those who spread cynicism an try to blind us to the chance to do good for mankind.” (US President Harry Truman)

b. Procrastination (‘opportunity’s natural assassin’)

c. Purposelessness (side-effects include self-pity, excuses, misused energy, and

hopelessness)

“A life spent in making mistakes is not online more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” (playwright George Bernard Shaw)

You can’t avoid fear or wait for motivation to get you going. To conquer fear, you need to feel the fear and take action anyway.

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows that is must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows that is must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle: when the sun comes up you had better be running.” (African parable)

4 steps to failing forward:

1. Realize there is one major difference between average people and achieving people.

2. Get a new definition of failure.3. Remove the “you” from failure.4. Take action and reduce your fear.

Sources

Main source and recommended reading: “Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success” by John Maxwell

Media sources:Slide 7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_Vg4uyYwEkSlide 12: http://michaelhyatt.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/john-maxwell.pngSlide 17: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UizlkbS61mQSlide 19: http://www.celebritynetworth.com/articles/celebrity/what-does-rick-pitino-get-for-winning-the-ncaa-tournament/Slide 20: http://www.golubphoto.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/01_Sam-Ervin.jpgSlide 24: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6hz_s2XIAUSlide 27: http://www.mjfbc.com/uploads/6/2/3/8/6238837/9350612_orig.jpg?1 and http://www.biography.com/imported/images/Biography/Images/Profiles/T/Harry-Truman-9511121-1-402.jpgSlide 29: http://guysneedhelp.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/lion-chasing-gazelle-quote-african-safari-pic.jpg