ExtraordinaryMovieextraordinarymovie.com/dload?id=Extraordinary_SermonNotes.pdf · Scriptures: Ephesians 5:21-33 Matthew 7:24-27 Read Mark 10:6-9 Items Needed: A complete brick A

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Scriptures: Ephesians 5:21-33Matthew 7:24-27Read Mark 10:6-9

Items Needed: A complete brickA small broken piece of brickTwo pieces of duct tape at least 6-8 inches longOptional: Video clip of a couple ballroom dancing. Many great, short clips are available on YouTube.

INTRODUCTION: Life is often referred to as, and compared to, a race. The Apostle Paul made this connection specifically to the Christian life in running where He wanted to be certain he hit the finish line well.

Marriage can also be viewed as a race; one that is run in unison with another, except it is most certainly not a sprint, but a marathon. You are committed to no longer run alone, but with your life’s mate. The starting line is the altar where the man and woman stand before a pastor or priest and commit to a lifelong relationship before God, each other, and to those gathered to witness their vows.

Standing at the altar, the couple can know that they survived singleness and are about to enter a new life as one with their spouse. A couple going into marriage has decided that they want to accomplish new victories in life with another person, victories they would not be able to experience without the new person in their life. So each leaves the single, solitary life for being “one flesh” with another.

POINT #1Our first look at where God created and ordained the family through Adam and Eve is found in Genesis chapter 2. In Ephesians 5:21-33, Paul addresses marriage, which is our first Scripture today.

[Read Ephesians 5:21-33.]

In this passage, the Apostle paints a beautiful word picture of the delicate balance of mutual submission in marriage. Our twenty-first century culture has skewed this biblical concept to seem archaic, if not downright offensive, and the health of our marriages in this nation now reflect this attitude. But the biblical model still stands and is readily available to all who will make such a commitment.

Consider this analogy for us to better understand Paul’s concept of mutual submission in biblical marriage:

Picture a large, darkened ballroom dance floor. The spotlight focuses on a couple strolling out to the center. He is in his tux and she in a beautiful, flowing gown. They look amazing. They clasp hands, embrace, and begin the dance. They move all around the floor with style and grace, giving the appearance of floating. They hover about effortlessly, both smiling and enjoying the experience. They are having fun, proud of what they have accomplished in all they have learned together and what they are now experiencing.

Now, at any point, does anyone watching this couple ask: “So, who’s leading?” No. In ballroom dancing, everyone knows the man leads and the woman is following.

But if the man should decide he is tired of leading and stops, or if the woman decides she is sick of following him, what happens? You got it. The dance is not so pretty anymore. Suddenly, those watching begin to concern themselves with the issue of whose at fault and what has gone wrong.

But when a couple is great at this style of dancing, you can’t tell who is leading. Why? Because if both take their respective roles in the dance, we are so mesmerized by the corporate and cooperative effort of the two moving about as one that we aren’t concerned or distracted by the question of who is leading or following. It doesn’t matter to anyone, because what is on display is simply beautiful to watch and enjoy. In fact, it is extraordinary! That’s what the heart of Ephesians 5 is all about in regards to marriage.

POINT #2

[Read Matthew 7:24-27.]

So many marriages today have built their relational foundations on sinking sand, not on the stability and firm foundation that Christ offers to any couple that will surrender their lives to Him. That is exactly why when the storms of life threaten, their “house” crashes down around them.

But then there are the extraordinary marriages that choose together to build on Christ, making Him the Rock that keeps their “house” safe and secure. Not that these couples don’t or won’t have problems, they most certainly will, as all marriages experience. But they have simply decided where they will go together when storms threaten and on Whom they will depend for their wellbeing together.

The very good news is any spouse may make this decision to place their own commitment to their marriage on the solid foundation that Christ offers. If today, you know in your heart your life or your marriage is built on sand, Jesus is available to help you.

In considering what we are building in our marriages, we must also view the walls that we have put up that are hurtful or damaging to our relationship; the walls we must destroy or de-construct as well.

[Take 2 small pieces or chunks of broken brick and say…]

Each day we make a choice to put bricks on our wall to keep our spouse out or take bricks down to allow them in. We must daily chip away at the self-centered walls we have built. To make this completely clear, to have a growing, healthy marriage, more bricks have to consistently come down than go up.

[Next, take a complete, full brick and say…]

This complete brick represents what God uses to build something beautiful with our individual lives in our marriages. This is the perspective we need to have—to use His gifts and qualities to build a healthy foundation and relationship. Consider this illustration:

A congregation was constructing a new church building at another location in the city. The pastor decided to go out and visit the job site for the first time. As he walked up and put on his hardhat, he saw three bricklayers working alone on three different walls.

The pastor went to the first bricklayer and asked, “What are you doing today, sir?” The man answered in a frustrated tone, “I’m setting this brick.” He then went to the second bricklayer and asked, “What are you doing today, sir?” The man answered, “I’m trying to get this wall built.” He then walked to the third and final bricklayer and asked, “What are you doing today, sir?” The man smiled and answered, “I’m building a great cathedral!”

You could walk up to three different husbands or wives today to separately ask them about their marriages and quite possibly get very similar and diverse answers as these bricklayers gave. Some will just be co-existing, trying to merely survive another day. Others seem happy and satisfied at simply doing life together with someone. But then there will be a precious few that realize they are building something beautiful and extraordinary as a couple. Something they could never build alone. And something they could never build without God being right in the midst of their relationship.

I challenge you to have that perspective daily in your marriage. To not just get through the days and merely survive like everyone else, but to see the big picture, that you are building something beautiful together. To repeat—something you could never build alone. And something you could never build without God.

Chip away at your walls you have built in your marriage while using the good gifts God has given to build something beautiful together with your spouse.

POINT #3

[Read Mark 10:6-9.]

In this passage, Jesus was connecting Moses’ words as to how God created male and female to be distinct creations to the “one flesh” concept for how God views marriage. Christ connected this picture of a man and woman committing fully to one another before the Father.

A great example of how we convey this concept today is in our social communication. Here’s an example: “We’re going to dinner tonight with Bob-n-Nancy. Then afterwards, we’re all joining Brian-n-Kim for dessert.” We do not separate the male and female out distinctly even in how we pronounce their names as a couple, but often voice them together as if it is now one singular phrase.

[Take two pieces of duct tape, at least six inches long each, holding them separately, and say…]

To give you a visual analogy of this one flesh concept, let’s consider duct tape, just like I am holding here. Separately, these two pieces of tape are very sticky. They are two individual components ready to bond. If you take the two and carefully connect their sticky sides together, matching up corner to corner all the way around both pieces, you will quickly and effectively no longer have two pieces of tape, but one single unit. [Carefully stick the two pieces together.] Why is there now one single unit? Because the two have bonded as according to their purpose. This is a simple picture of “the two will become one flesh.”

Now, an interesting fact about two pieces of duct tape is that once they are joined together, you can never separate them again without destroying both pieces. In fact, once they are bonded, no one, regardless of strength or dexterity, can effectively separate the two. It is impossible. This is such a great representation of the same truth of “what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The union between a man and woman in marriage is sacred. From Genesis to Revelation, we find no other option or substitution offered, suggested, or given other than this one flesh union for marriage.

I want to close with this challenge and inspiration to every marriage here. Robertson McQuilkin was the president of a prominent Christian Bible college and seminary from 1968 to 1990. The following is an excerpt from his letter of resignation.

“Dear Friend, Twenty-two years is a long time. But then again, it can be shorter than one anticipates. And how do you say goodbye to friends you do not wish to leave? The decision to come here was the most difficult I have had to make; the decision to leave 22 years later, though painful, was one of the easiest. It was almost as if God engineered the circumstances so that I had no alternatives. Let me explain. My dear wife, Muriel, has been in failing mental health for about eight years. So far I have been able to carry both her ever-growing needs and my leadership responsibility here. But recently it has become apparent that Muriel is contented most of the time she is with me and almost none of the time I am away from her. It is not just discontent as she is filled with fear—even terror—that she has lost me and always goes in search of me when I leave home. Then she may be full of anger when she cannot get to me. So it is clear to me that she needs me now, full-time. Perhaps it would help you understand if I shared with you that the decision was made 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel “in sickness and in health till death do us part.” So, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of debt. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me—her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don’t have to care for her—I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.”

CONClUsION:Marriage, from the first one that God ordained in the Garden with Adam and Eve to your own, is a high honor that He allows us as a man and woman to not have to care for each other, but to get to! This incredibly healthy perspective could breathe new life into so many marriages if they might adopt these words as their own.

To recap today, with the strength and grace of God alive in our lives and marriages, we may:

• Dance together in Him inside mutual submission as Paul challenged us in Ephesians 5.

• Tear down selfish walls and build a house together as Christ encouraged us in Matthew 7.

• Bond together in the one flesh union as God intended and we see in Mark 10.

• Realize that God intended marriage to be “get to,” not a “have to.” And in and through His love, all things in life, including marriage, can be a “get to.”