Effective Listening 6

8/17/2019 Effective Listening 6

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Bad Listening HabitsEfective Listening


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Introduction:Bad listening is common, but is seldom reallyintended.

The way that it efectively works is that we allinto the thoughtless re!eating !atterns ohabits.


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"ichols, #. $. and L.%. &tevens '()*+ .

Are you listening?"ew -ork, c$raw/Hill.


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(. Calling the SubjectDull

Bad listeners o ten 7nds a sub8ect too dry anddusty to command their attention and they usethis as an e9cuse to wander of on a mentaltangent.

$ood listeners may have heard a do en talks onthe same sub8ect be ore, but they ;uickly decideto see i the s!eaker has anything that can be o

use to them.


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The key to good listening is that little three/letter word use.

$ood listeners are si ters and screeners.

They are always hunting or something !racticalor worthwhile to store in the back o their mindto !ut to work in the months and years ahead.

$.1.


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3. Criticizing theSpeaker

ost bad listeners to 7nd ault with the way as!eaker looks, acts, and talks.

$ood listeners may make a ew o the same

criticisms but they ;uickly begin to !ay attentionto what is said, not how it is said .


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% ter a ew minutes, good listeners becomeoblivious to the s!eaker=s mannerisms or his>her

aults in delivery.

They know that the message is ten times asim!ortant as the clothing.


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?. Getting Over-stimulated

Listening e@ciency dro!s to ero when the listenersreact so strongly to one !art o the !resentationthat they miss what ollows.

%t the Aniversity o innesota, they think this badhabit is so critical that, in the classes where theyteach listening, they !ut at the to! o everyblackboard the words:

'ithhold evaluation until comprehensionis complete (( hear the spea)er out*


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It is im!ortant that we understand the s!eaker=s!oint o view ully be ore we acce!t or re8ect it.


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0. Listening Only F rFacts

It is im!ortant to listen or acts but almostwithout e9ce!tion it is the !oor listeners who saythey listen or acts.

They do get acts, but they garble a shockingnumber and com!letely lose most o them.


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$ood listeners listen or the main ideas in as!eech or lecture and use them as connectingthreads to give sense and system to the whole .

It isn=t necessary to worry too much about actas such, or acts have meaning only when!rinci!les su!!ly the conte9t.


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*. !rying ! Outline"verything

$ood listeners are e9ible.

They ada!t their note taking to theorgani ational !attern o the s!eaker.

They may make an outline, They may write a summary They may list acts and !rinci!les C

but whatever they do they are not rigid about it.


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D. Faking #ttenti n The !ose o chin !ro!!ed on hand with ga e79ed on s!eaker does not guarantee goodlistening.

$ood listening is not rela9ed and !assive at all.It=s dynamic it=s constructive it=s characteri edby a slightly increased heart rate, ;uickercirculation o the blood, and a small rise inbodily tem!erature.


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It=s energy consuming it=s !lain hard work.

The best de7nition o the word attenti n is aFcollection o tensions that can be resolved only

by getting the acts or ideas that the s!eaker istrying to convey.F


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+. ! leratingDistracti n

6oor listeners are easily distracted and mayeven create disturbances that inter ere withtheir own listening e@ciency and that o others.

They s;uirm, talk with their neighbors, or shuGe!a!ers.

They make little or no efort to conceal theirboredom.


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$ood listeners try to ad8ust to whateverdistractions there are and soon 7nd that theycan ignore them.


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. Ch sing Only $hat%s"asy

ten we 7nd the !oor listeners have shunnedlistening to serious !resentations on radio ortelevision.

There is !lenty o easy listening available, andthis has been their choice.

The habit o avoiding even moderately di@culte9!ository !resentations in one=s ensure/timelistening can handica! anyone who needs to uselistening as a learning tool.


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). Letting "m ti n-Laden$ rds Get &n !he $ay

It is a act that some words carry such anemotional load that they cause some listeners totune a s!eaker right out: such as, a@rmativeaction and eminist/they are 7ghting words tosome !eo!le.


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I we knew what these words were, we couldring them out into the o!en, discuss them, andget them behind us.

It=s so oolish to let a mere symbol or somethingstand between us and learning.

(4 $ ti th Di' ti l


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(4. $asting the Di'erential(et)een Speech and !h ught

Speed2e s!eak at an average rate o (3* words !er minute inordinary conversation.

% s!eaker be ore an audience slows down to about (44words !er minute.

How ast do listeners listenJ

r, to !ut the ;uestion in a better orm, how many wordsa minute do !eo!le normally think as they listenJ

I all their thoughts were measurable in words !er minute,the answer would seem to be that an audience o any si ewill average 044 to *44 words !er minute as they listen.


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Here is a !roblem.

The diferential between the s!eaker at (44 words

!er minute and the easy thought s!eed o thelistener at 044 or *44 words !er minute is a snareand a !it all.It lures the listener into a alse sense o securityand breeds mental tangents.


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However, with training in listening, thediference between thought s!eed and s!eechs!eed can be made a source o tremendous!ower.

Listeners can hear everything the s!eaker saysand not what s>he omits saying they can listenbetween the lines and do some evaluating asthe s!eech !rogresses.

To do this, to e9!loit this !ower, good listenersmust automatically !ractice three skills inconcentration:


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#nticipating the ne*tp int.

$ood listeners try to antici!ate the !oints as!eaker will make in develo!ing a sub8ect.

I they guess right, the s!eaker=s words rein orce

their guesses.I they guess wrong, they=ll have to do somethinking to discover why they and the s!eaker

ailed to agree.


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In either case, their chances o understandingand remembering what was said is nearlydouble what it would have been i they hadsim!ly listened !assively.


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&denti+ying supp rtingmaterial.

$ood listeners try to identi y a s!eaker=ssu!!orting material.

% ter all, a !erson can=t go on making !oints

without giving listeners some o the evidence onwhich the conclusions are based, and the bricksand mortar that have been used to build u! theargument should be e9amined or soundness.


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,ecapitulating.2ith the tremendous thought s!eed that everyonehas, it is easy to summari e in about 7ve secondsthe highlights covered by a s!eaker in about 7veminutes.

2hen the s!eaker sto!s to take a swallow o wateror walks over to the blackboard to write somethingor even takes a dee! breath, the e9!eriencedlistener makes a mental summary.

Hal a do en summaries o the highlights o a 7 ty/minute talk will easily double the understanding andretention im!ortant !oints in a talk.


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%rthur #obertson'())0 .

Listen for Success , Irwin.

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D. Body language that signals disinterest

+.


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Larry Barker and1ittie 2atson '3444 .

Listen up: How to ImproveRelationships, Reduce Stress, and Be

ore !roductive "y #sing the !owerof Listening, &t. artin5s 6ress


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Irritating Listening Habits(. Interru!ting the s!eaker

3. "ot looking at the s!eaker

?. #ushing the s!eaker and making him eel thathe5s wasting the listener5s time

0. &howing interest in something other than theconversation

*. $etting ahead o the s!eaker and 7nishing herthoughts


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D. "ot res!onding to the s!eaker5s re;uests

+. &aying, M-es, but NO as i the listener has madeu! his mind

. To!!ing the s!eaker5s story with MThat remindsme NO or MThat5s nothing, let me tell youaboutNO

). Korgetting what was talked about !reviously(4. %sking too many ;uestions about details


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1ey issues:Lack o res!ect or the s!eaker

&tuck in own head tra!!ed by own thoughts

Hearing only what is su!er7cially said missingthe real meaning

$eneral ignorance about social !oliteness

Effective Listening 6

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