Coping Skills for anxiety

Coping Skills for anxiety

Information in this presentation was found at www.copingskillsforkids.com

Mental Health

We all have mental health just like everybody has physical health.

Mental health relates to our emotional, physical and social well being. If we are mentally healthy we are able to engage with everyday living that includes enjoying, achieving, problem solving and actively participating in everyday events and also communicating and socializing with peers, friends and teachers.

Different types of Anxiety you may see in school:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder-Excessive worry - grades, family issues, relationships with peers, and performance in sports. hard on themselves,

strive for perfection and seek constant approval or reassurance from others.

Panic Disorder- At least two unexpected panic or anxiety attacks—which means they come on suddenly and for no reason—followed

by at least one month of concern over having another attack, losing control, or "going crazy."

Separation Anxiety - Unable to leave caregiver or takes longer to calm down after you leave than other children, affects 4 percent of

children, common in kids ages 7 to 9. Refusing to go to school, commonly worry about bad things happening to their parents or caregivers or something terrible occurring.

Anxiety Disorders continued:

Social Anxiety Disorder-intense fear of social and performance situations, such as being called on in class or starting a conversation with a

peer. Significantly impairs school performance and attendance, socialization with peers and developing/maintaining relationships.

Selective Mutism-refusal to speak in situations where talking is expected or necessary, to the extent that their refusal interferes with

school and making friends. May stand motionless and expressionless, turn their heads, chew or twirl hair, avoid eye contact, or withdraw into a corner to avoid talking. Can be very talkative at home. Average age of diagnosis is around 5 years old, or around the time a child enters school.

Specific Phobias-intense, irrational fear of a specific object, such as a dog, or a situation, such as flying. Common childhood phobias

include animals, storms, heights, water, blood, the dark, and medical procedures. Children will avoid situations or things that they fear, or endure them with anxious feelings, which can manifest as crying, tantrums, clinging, avoidance, headaches, and stomachaches. Unlike adults, they do not usually recognize that their fear is irrational.

Anxiety Disorders Continued:Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

unwanted and intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and feeling compelled to repeatedly perform rituals and routines (compulsions) to try and ease anxiety. Most children with OCD are diagnosed around age 10, although the disorder can strike children as young as two or three.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

● intense fear and anxiety, emotionally numb or easily irritable, or avoid places, people, or activities after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic or life-threatening event. Not every child who experiences or hears about a traumatic event will develop PTSD.

Children most at risk for PTSD are those who directly witnessed a traumatic event, who suffered directly (such as injury or the death of a parent), had mental health problems before the event, and who lack a strong support network. Violence at home also increases a child’s risk of developing PTSD after a traumatic event.

Anxiety: What it looks like in school?

Feeling anxious sometimes is a normal reaction to academic and social issues related to school

attendance problems

fidgety, high energy

crying, aggression, tantruming

frequent trips to the nurse

rigid, difficulty changing routine

Coping Skills● Imagine your favorite place - it’s like taking a mini vacation wherever you are

● Think of your favorite things

● Name animals alphabetically (alligator, bear, cow, dog, etc…)

● Squeeze something (play dough, clay, silly putty, your fists, a stress ball)

● Get a cold drink of water

● Give yourself a hug - squeeze tight!

● Remember the words to a song you love

54321 Grounding - go through each of your 5 senses

HOW TO DO IT:This technique will take you through your five senses to help remind you of the present.

Take a deep belly breath to begin.

5 - LOOK: Look around for 5 things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I see the computer, I see the cup, I see the picture frame.

4 - FEEL: Pay attention to your body and think of 4 things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I feel my feet warm in my socks, I feel the hair on the back of my neck, or I feel the pillow I am sitting on.

3 - LISTEN: Listen for 3 sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing or the sound of your tummy rumbling. Say the three things out loud.

2 - SMELL: Say two things you can smell. If you’re allowed to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your 2 favorite smells.

1 - TASTE: Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste.

Take another deep belly breath to end.

Deep BreathingIt’s so simple, yet has such a big impact on your body’s physiology.When you are calm and relaxed, your body is in “rest and digest” mode. You breathe normally, your heart rate is lower and your muscles are relaxed. However, when stress or anxiety or anger occurs, your body automatically switches into “flight, fight or freeze” mode. Your muscles tense up, your heart rate increases and your breathing becomes more shallow.

Taking deep breaths, instead of shallow breaths, is one way to tell your body to get back to resting and digesting. That’s why deep breathing is important!

Luckily, there are some fun ways to teach kids deep breathing techniques

Deep BreathingThings to say

Breathe in like you are smelling a flower, breathe out like you are blowing out birthday candles

Arms up and breathe in, arms down and breathe outPretend your belly is a balloon. Breathe in and make the balloon bigger, then

breathe out and make the balloon shrink.

Hook up ExerciseDo a hook up

1. Put your arms straight out in front of you, palms facing out.2. Put one hand over the other at the wrists and interlace your fingers.3. Swoop your hands and arms toward your body and then place your

interlaced hands on your chest.4. Cross your feet at the ankles and put your tongue on the roof of your

mouth.5. Stay still for one minute.

Make a coping skills toolboxA Coping Skills Toolbox is a kit that you create to help your child calm down when they are upset, anxious or worried. In order to get the most benefit from this, you should create this kit before an issue occurs. When your child experiences anxiety, then they can pick out an item from their Coping Skills Toolbox.

Use VisualsWhen you’re stressed and anxious, it’s harder to take in information. Visuals are easier.

1. Take several index cards or small pieces of cardstock2. On each one, write or draw one coping skill3. Hole punch the cards and place them on a keyring (to make them extra sturdy, you can laminate

them)4. Put them into the coping skills toolbox for easy access

Using visuals is a powerful way to help kids. When kids are overwhelmed, sometimes it’s hard for them to figure out what to do. By having cue cards, your child can have a visual reminder of what calms and relaxes them.

Make a Mind JarWhat you need:

Empty Jar: empty soda bottles, empty water bottles, plastic containers.

Warm Water: it makes it easier for the water and paint to combine.

Glitter Paint or Glitter Glue

To make your jar, add glitter paint to the bottom of the jar until it just covers the bottom of it. Add warm water. Put the cover on and shake to help the ingredients combine. Once you are satisfied with the look of your jar, then you can super glue the lid shut so it doesn’t spill.

Create a calm down spotYou can create a place specially designed to allow to calm down in a few steps

Find a spot and make it cozy (ask your child for help with that - maybe they can place a favorite blanket or stuffed animal inside)

Add calming toolsExplain how to use it and practice beforeWhen they are starting to escalate, catch it early and give them a calm reminder about their calm

down spot

Use Understanding and Supportive LanguageUse the following phrases as a way to support your child, let them know that you’re going to support them and help them in any way that you can.

“I’m here for you”

“Talk to me and tell me what’s going on”

“How can I help?”

“Together, we can work on this. We’re a great team”

Here are some more ideas of what to say to calm an anxious child.

From Go Zen - 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child

From Lemon Lime Adventures - What to Say to Calm an Anxious Child

Use Calming & Mindfulness Scripts

There are scripts you can read to your child to help them relax and calm down. Slowly and carefully read the words as your child listens and follows the instructions. Check out Inner Health Studios list of scripts you can use with your child.

There are also scripts to practice mindfulness with children. Eline Snel has written a great book on Mindfulness with Kids, Sitting Still Like a Frog. Here are the several scripts that can be used from that book!

If you prefer not to read a script, there are ones that are pre-recorded. Annaka Harris also has several pre-recorded scripts to help kids practice mindfulness

Listen to Story Podcasts for Children

Did you know there are podcasts with stories for children? Usually the hosts have a soothing voice and the stories tend to be pretty short. Your child can listen to these podcasts as a way to have some down time.

Tales from the LilypadStory TimeStories PodcastStorynory

Read Helpful Books with Your ChildGENERAL ANXIETY

The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook by Janine Halloran. This book has over 75 strategies for kids to try to help them manage their stress and worry. This book also includes colorful worksheets to help kids learn more about their anxiety and what they can do to manage their stress.

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook I love that when Wilma Jean’s physical reactions are described, they’re also illustrated. When is says she has knots in her stomach and her knees lock, her stomach really looks like it’s tied in a knot and there’s a real lock around her knees. I love the activity she does with her teacher, going over worries she can control and worries she can’t, it’s a great way to help kids manage their anxiety.

David and the Worry Beast by Anne Marie Guanci David’s anxiety is a beast, and the more anxious he gets, the bigger it grows. David learns to control his thoughts, and his beast shrinks. There’s also a couple of pages for parents and kids in the back.

When My Worries Get Too Big by Kari Dunn Buron This book is wonderful! There are several pages where kids can add in their own thoughts, worries and what helps them relax. This book also uses the 5 point scale to talk about stress and different ways to manage it.

What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner, PhD This book goes through several ways that can help kids manage anxiety, including setting a time for worries, thinking about things that make you happy and resetting your body with activity or relaxation. There are some interactive places in this book, where a child can write down their worries, draw some images of things that might help, etc.

What To Do When You’re Scared and Worried by James J. Crist Near the beginning of the book is a checklist that helps kids narrow down what they are anxious about. The beginning of the book covers the basics of what anxiety is and how to help manage with coping skills. The next section of the book goes into detail about different types of anxiety kids might experience, including Separation Anxiety, Phobias and Panic Attacks.

Separation AnxietyThe Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn Classic about managing separation anxiety when kids start school.

When I miss you by Cornelia Maude Spelman This is perfect for little ones who have a hard time dealing with the fact that they are away from their parents during the day. It suggests a couple of things they can do to help and reassurance that parents will come back at the end of the day.

Wemberley Worried by Kevin Henkes Poor Wemberley worries about everything, and then she gets really worried when she is about to start school.

ANXIETY ABOUT ILLNESS

My Amazing Monster This is a book and a stuffed animal designed to help kids manage their worries. Gobble is a super cuddly monster who has a special power. He can eat worries! Children can write or draw their worries on a piece of paper, then have Gobble eat them. The original book has to do with illnesses and going to the hospital. There is a new book about being bullied. Beth Cimler created a playful way to help kids manage their worries. The beauty of this is that you can later check the monster’s tummy, read your child’s worries and start a discussion about how to deal with it.

WHAT SHOULD I BE LOOKING OUT FOR?

Look for changes in their typical behaviors. Pay attention to the signals your child may be sending you. Keep an eye out, and keep track of what you notice over a few days. Things to monitor:

Eating Habits - are they eating more than normal? Less?Sleeping Habits - Are they suddenly not sleeping, or waking up frequently during the night? Are they

having nightmares or bad dreams? Are they wetting the bed?School Performance - Have their grades suddenly taken a dip? Are they not getting in their

assignments?Changes in Behaviors - Are they acting out at home or at school? Are they getting into fights with

friends? Are they talking back more frequently than normal?Moods - Do they seem sad or angry or easily irritable?Somatic Complaints - Are they saying their stomach hurts, or they have a headache, or they feel sick

with no other signs of illness?Keep in mind that everyone has bad days. However, when you start to see multiple symptoms happening over a few days, then it’s time to check in with your child.

QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK:

If you’ve noticed some changes, and you’re starting to get worried, talk about it with your child. During a calm moment, take them to the side, and have a brief chat, just the two of you. They may or may not share anything, but you’ll never know unless you try. A couple of ideas to get you started:

I’ve noticed _________. How are you feeling these days?I’ve seen that ____________. Has anything changed recently?I just wanted to check in because you seem a little different recently. How’s everything going with you?

When should I seek more help?You’ve tried some interventions and nothing seems to be working, then it’s time to reach out for more help. In particular, if you’ve noticed these symptoms, then it’s time to start creating a support system for your child and your family.

Feeling very sad or withdrawn for more than 2 weeks (e.g., crying regularly, feeling fatigued, feeling unmotivated).

Out-of-control, risk-taking behaviors that can cause harm to self or others.Sudden overwhelming fear for no reason, sometimes with a racing heart, physical discomfort, or fast

breathing.Not eating, throwing up, significant weight loss or gain.Severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships.Drastic changes in behavior, personality or sleeping habits (e.g., waking up early and acting agitated).Extreme difficulty in concentrating or staying still that can lead to failure in school.Intense worries or fears that get in the way of daily activities like hanging out with friends or going to

classes.Talk of self-harm or hurting others

How and Where to find helpGET A THERAPIST

If you feel like your child needs more help, please seek support for them by finding a therapist. A few good places to start:

Your Pediatrician’s Office: They may have therapists they recommend and refer patients to regularly.

Your Insurance Provider’s Website: You will know that you are already covered to see that therapist if you start on your own insurance provider’s website.

Psychologytoday.com: You can search by zip code or by city, and get a list of all the licensed therapists in your area.

Ms. Durkin or Ms. Schweitzer: Recommendations of community resources and therapists