Communication is KEY

Communication is KEY

Have you got the skills???

Use appropriate body language

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Be honest with thoughts and feelings

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Ask questions

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Wait your turn

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Think, Then Speak

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Use “I” Messages

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Make clear, simple statements

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Listen Actively

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Use appropriate body language• Make eye contact• Be aware of your body

language

Listen actively• Don’t just hear, LISTEN

and pay attention• Use your mind, not just

your ears

Make clear, simple statements• Stick to the subject

Be honest with thoughts and feelings• Don’t walk away feeling

like you should have said something!

• Share your thoughts

Ask questions• Clear up

misunderstandings• It shows you are

listening

Wait your turn• Don’t interrupt; let the

person finish

Think, then speak• Is what you are about to

say kind or helpful?• Make sure the

statement is necessary

Use “I” messages• A way to explain how

you feel without making others defensive or angry

“I” messages

• “I feel…….” (emotion)• “When….” (repeat what they did)• “Because…..” optional• “I need/I want/can you…..”(what would you like them to do?)

• “You” messages suggest blame and usually lead to self defense or denial. This increases your original problem or causes more problems.

I messages don’t mean…

• You are weak• You can’t stand up for

yourself• You are scared

I messages do mean…

• You are trying to be the bigger person

• You are trying to respect the other person

• You value communication• You value yourself

Examples

“I feel worried when you are late because I don’t know if you are safe. I would like you to call and let me know"

"You are late AGAIN!“

"I feel frustrated when I work hard on a job andthen do not get any acknowledgment. I’d like to feel

appreciated here.”“You never give me any credit for my work.“ “I felt let down when you broke your promise. Can you

follow through when you say will do something?”“You broke your promise again!”

• Based on the first paragraph, draw a diagram that displays the main ideas of the paragraph

• If you had to tell someone the main points of the entire article, what are the 3 most important ideas worth sharing

• Were the character examples helpful in displaying the importance of proper communication?

Explain why.

Which skill do YOU need to work on?????

Ms. Di Silvestro’s words of advice

1) Choose groups members wisely – success only!!!

2) You must present the wrong way and the right way

3) All group members must write this out!

Communication SkillsThink, then speak-don’t just blurt out whatever comes to mind, think it through first – be nice!

Ask questions-show the person you are interested by asking questions

Wait your turn-don’t interruptUse “I” messages-if you are upset with someone, avoid using the word “you”

Use appropriate body language-be aware of how you look (gestures, eye contact, posture)

Listen actively-don’t just hear, comprehend and listen

Make clear, simple statements-stick to the subject

Be honest with thoughts and feelings-say what you feel up front (don’t walk away unaware regretting you didn’t say something)

Conflict Resolution• Negotiation- the process of talking directly to the other person to

resolve a conflict(use those “I” messages!!!) - usually involves a compromise – in which both sides give up

something to reach a solution that will satisfy everyone using the TALK strategy

TALK:Take a time out to allow yourself to calm down and control emotionsAllow each person to tell his or her sideLet each person ask questionsKeep brainstorming until a fair solution is reached**this works best when you talk privately******not all things are up for negotiation****

• Mediation-resolving conflicts by using another person to help reach a

solution that is acceptable to both sidesA mediator must have neutrality, a promise not to take

sides-State the rules-Each person tells his or her side uninterrupted-The mediator restates what each person said-The mediator looks for things both people want-Solutions are suggested-An agreement is made and signatures are given

Warning Signs of Building Conflict

• 1. Raised voices• 2. Attitude• 3. Name-calling or insults• 4. Others taking sides• 5. Racial slurs• 6. Certain gestures• 7. Dirty looks• 8. The silent treatment• 9. Gossip or rumors

Assessment

•The parts of an I message and how to properly write one (blue foldable)

• Stressor, eustress, distress, fight or flight, adrenaline, symptoms of STS and LTS (see stress notes)

• Stress management skills (see stress notes)• All 8 communication skills – be able to recognize them

in a story (blue foldable)• The difference between negotiation and mediation –

understand them! (guided notes)• Know what the TALK strategy is all about (guided

notes)