Coming to conclusions

Coming to Conclusions, Ours is not to reason why: Ours is but to do or die

The First and apparent Final Issue of the Eccentric inquisitor

Editor and Chief: Emrys Golden

Article of Self, a List of the Saluted

“You’re crazy” Ruffin joked.

With a wicked grin more commonly associated with hobgoblins I re formulated the

counter that I had envisioned long in advance “Oh, I prefer the term eccentric genius.”

INMS isn't just a time or a place, it’s a function. For me it took a nervous whiny sixth

grader, and turned him into the person I am today. An evolution that started the day I walked

into INMS.

I began as an overly cheerful, childish, and eleven year old with a vast array of exciting

role models to choose from. I personally couldn't find a single eighth grader not to look up to, so

I formulated a system of trying t make myself as agreeable as possible, and hope I would be

aloud to admire the spectacular specimens that had been placed before me, and not only was I

tolerated, but the eighth graders genuinely and completely seemed to enjoy, my company. And

from this I developed the brilliant ideal of socializing with more intelligent, social, hilarious

people than me in hopes that I would rise to their level. And it was through a series of role

models that I grew. Each one with their own strengths, own faults, and own abilities.

Parker Anderson was a pillar of hilarity and fabulousness in the community. He was

obscenely candid, claiming “Waldport people are boring and ugly” letting his true opinions shine

regardless of the social expectation to not discuss pressing political issues with a sarcastic tone,

and the defiant norm not to insult people based on some small factor. The truth was that people

accepted is ever honest demeanor because first and foremost, it was hilarious, and secondly it

was reliable. We could trust his disdain to be obvious as his admiration.

Emily Gaberino was somewhat a social butterfly, able to enjoy many moments with a

broad smile, and from her I discovered meaningless conversation as a pass time and life as the

primary purpose. She was always pleasant, polite, and accepting. Showing that you do not need

to steal the show to be assented to it. Sometimes others need to shine, and I can live with that.

There were, admittedly dozens others, showing compassion in the oddest fashion,

knowledge in the subtlest forms, and creativity in the smallest favors. But honestly besides the

overall masses of memories that fade in distinction, the information that I keep is very scattered.

I retain the moment when Kendra cried after learnig Brooke had injured herself, I remeber

“frolickking int the grass” with the aforementioned Parker and Emily, but slowly, dozens of

moments I wished to preserve, slipped through my memories, until in a sudden jump I skip to

the end of the year.

The tragedy of summer’s arrival was caused partially by the dozens of acquaintances

and pairs of friends whose time had come, but also the half of the core teachers also

vacationing INMS. Regardless I was able to restrain the tears, and present my eighth grade

memory to Emily. I remember it was about four short lines and finished “with someone like you,

a perfect best friend” which drew a lot of awes from the crowd. Still, through the action, which I

heftily benefited from, leaving with not one but both dancing stuffed hamsters, my mind fluttered

with thoughts of what life would be like without Koiki and Almasi.

Marry Koike could have been a standup comedian. Frequently having to censor her

thoughts, she typically spent half of the period laughing with us, and the other half assigning

homework. Although I then thought she was pushing us ferociously, Koiki represented a trade-

off. She showed the sacrifice of the majority of your time in devotion to academics, and a few

moments of genuine, pleasant, in-the-moment life. The ultimate deals that the majority of people

I know with exceptional grades be them in college, high school, or middle school, have already

accepted this. Koiki taught me more than anything to spend all of your time either living to the

maximum enthusiasm, or getting all the unpleasantries out of those moments way. There is a

time for play and a time for work, and you decide the time for some work, but you have less

control over the play aspect.

Seventh grade was equally spectacular because, although completely oblivious to it

then, I now comprehend that life is a perpetual state of getting better for everyone of us

including my new group of friends. Due to the shear numeracy of them, I shall try to condense

their influence on me.

Laura Mcrum: was one of many who showed that you can be both immature in every day

actions, and yet incredible mature when need be.

Aurora Pavilish-Carpender: exemplified a casual and semi sarcastic state of excepting even the

hardships with humor. She was persistent and durable.

Kendra Hannah: commanded me never to repress your emotions. To take pride in tears,

because they make you more human.

Sophie Goodwin-Rice: enlightened me in the art of flaunting pride in your political beliefs, yet

tolerating all that had no representation at the moment. To be restrained yet powerful in the

words you chose.

Danell would commend things often as epic, but she also was part of showing me not to over

condem. Give a reasonable chance reliably, and see what you might love.

Grace Burns: was younger than me, yet, still managing to positive role model for me, she

showed me a positive attitude is always achievable. And of course I learned to regulary dose

myself with Doctor who.

Allie Selfridge: allowed me to see that if you are unsatisfied, you don't have to be afraid to show

it. You can be skeptical, be critical, and be yourself.

Brooke Foiles is to date my best friend. A relationship that will always be equally about

what she can teach me and what I can interoperate and evolve her philosophies into then, in

turn, teach her. Much of our affiliation is protected under a vow of secrecy, but I will say this, she

unveiled for me in one way or another, the majority of what I know about life.

I was less than ecstatic about eighth grade. Again my closest associates had once again

been torn away in the massive heist known as graduation. It is in this year that I contend, more

than anybody else, teachers made my day.

Zahn Russell: taught me to specifically pick and choose when to contribute. Value is

rooted deeply within scarcity, and so I, accounting for the overwhelming scarcity of opportunities

one has in life to improve things, share only the valuable thoughts.

Chloe Ruffin: Made it very clear that everyone is equal, and no one is more equal than

others. Even teachers where just people, Custodians where people, I am a person. Where the

demented image that due to the simplicity of when teachers assist it is there define declaration.

Thank teachers for their sacrifice , but never expect it.

Kathleen Sard: Showed that a great scientist can be anyone, and anyone can be a great

scientist. She gave me understanding of everyone’s importance in society. She stated once that

she was a teacher because she thought she could influence people for a higher net positive

effect on science. Meaning that you need not work in a lab to be a great scientist. She was great

by the act of teaching students, and improving education.

Amber Sprauge: was a great life teacher, but more importantly she opened the door to

self-teaching. To create the medium, not oppose it. Allow art to create you, and not create it.

Simply, in the most cliché way possible way possible, let it go.

Amber Houck: opened my eyes to a consecutive and simultaneous state of fanatical

political awareness while you loathe around like a lab puppy. You can save your enlightenment

for the perfect moments, and spend the rest with bliss often mistaken for ignorance.

Too many people helped me find myself for me to include them all in this. John Green

taught me many lessons, from how love fits into life, to how to love the complexity of life. And

much as I apologize for not only misspelling but not including, realistically I believe this is an

almost complete account. My life couldn't be perfectly reflected in the complete volumes of the

Encyclopedia Petanita. But in a nutshell, my autobiography is everything that has inflicted upon

me becoming the person I am today. And as much as INMS has been a blast, like a pair of

shoes I have simply outgrown. As sophisticated as is may look I just can't be part of it anymore,

It has changed me for the better, and so my stay is done. Alanzi.

Entertainment Reviews

Prologue: for those of us that don't know, magic is basically an intellectual alternative to chess,

which is played with trading cards. The massive audience it attracts best represent the massive

variety between a friendly Saturday game and a world championship with thousands of dollars on

the line. The cards themselves vary from 1 cent to 1 hundred grand. And the game has been

popular longer than the internet has existed in civilian hands. And as any of its products will be

certain to argue it is “the world’s most premium card game”

Review

But all these complements say nothing about the most recent set, or block. “Born of Gods” was

released February 14th. Although I can't deny that in the artwork, backstories, and flavor text are

still spectacular, the game itself is not as fortunate. Once a player gets serious about magic, they will

usually want to one up there magic friends and they will do so with the best cards combined in a

custom deck. Again, hundreds of dollars or 20 dollars can be spent on custom decks, and once

there created, people won't stop improving their masterpiece. People will pay 20 dollars for a land,

the most basic card, if they believe it will give them a slight edge. And the most efficient way to

create a deck is on amazon or eBay, by ordering each individual component. This market is

complicated enough that it will literally fluctuate. But for many years this post of scalping cards has

been held exclusively by online sales people and collectors. After the monopoly grew enough the

company that had long produced four levels of cards, common, uncommon, rare, and mythic rare,

figured out they could increase profit by diverting to a more common or mythic rare oriented

system, and satisfying collectors and professionals, rather than hobbyist and pastimers. I remember

going to the store and watching my friend purchase 20$ of cards, and having very little to show

from the five random packs. A certain number of cards are promised, the value or usefulness isn't.

Packs are filled with common cards to create a system which is basically slowly choking the middle

class of magic, forcing players to either be unprepared, or to fuel green paper into a machine that

outputs cardstock with art on it. They continue to create interlacing lore, with incredible art, and

card concepts that play with the rules, the most recent series is sure to spark your interest. But still

they have sold their soul to the card scalpers, taking a positive and fun gaming system, and creating

a corrupt manipulative system from it.

Regardless, I still recommend purchasing magic cards at local hobby stores, Fred Meyer, Wal-Mart, and

an abundance of other possible locations.

A Few of My Favorite Things

It was a cold dry day when enduring a “Skyrim” conversation, which

I found both meritless and meaningless; I heard the reference and gross

misuse of the term “role playing” game. Being a religious fanatic of the

actual innovative and original combination of equal parts improv and

literature, I did what my family could not: objecting out of hand. And

regardless of their continued ignorance to esteemed and acclaimed role

playing games, I shall never cease to marvel at how 3-6 ordinary yet

intelligent individuals can immerse themselves into an organic

sophisticated group story telling session.

The concept it stems from is really quite simple. You create a

character who in turn interacts with the characters of your

family/friends.. For example, the most recent character I created was a

Samurai Squirrel named Jack. After indulging in the hilarity of the tedious

and obscure list of abilities, I chose to be a fighter, a mental combatant

or sorcerer, and a manipulator of energy, or thaumaturge. This part is

relatively entertaining but more importantly, is the character

development. In this case I decided to make Jack a crazy noble of the

acorn clan, who follows the honorable teachings of Bushitail* and carries

bottles of water, sake, and deadly poison, unable to distinguish between

the three. Many have ventured the path of an actual rpg, including Venn

Diesel and Steven Colbert.

The Game play is the improv portion of the game, because even the

best of stats can't compensate for a lack of player ingenuity. The

difference between this time of session and the more popular computer

games lies here. Computer games are just an idealized version of yourself

running around being awesome. Although the proper amount of actual

dice rolls is guaranteed, the game would be nothing without the quirky

moments that compose a symphony of laughter. Moments captured in

these sessions often remain after the plots and stories, scaffolding used

to construct these monuments, have faded into time.

The truth is that the greatness in roleplaying games comes from a

mass appeal that encompasses your social circle. For the apples to apples

crowd, it offers the versatile socialization, for the drama club, feel free

to act. And in the most beautiful of ways it brings together the strategy

gamers, the lawyers, and manipulators to one table, playing one game. I

can guarantee anyone willing to try a roleplaying game can find there

place at the table top. From hours of painting miniatures, to the hours

spent playing the characters, role playing games is part of my culture. A

culture that although I concede natives are usually a group of teenagers,

finding innovative ways to consolidate not being invited to a social, it’s

still accepting and inclusive of the athletes, the extracurricular, and the

journalist. And I am proud to be a part of it.

Politics

The Game of Life, the unveiling of corruption

What can destroy the fabric of United States.

Is it gambling, sex, alcohol and sin,

Or is it Sheldon G Adelson who with 98 million dollars

embarked on frolikingly shopping for lobbyist.

People who are renowned for the drop of our community:

For Business Leaders it’s a gaming industry.

Players roll the dice with people’s lives,

Creating one big national strategist monopoly.

Note that although

Dungeons and Dragons

is not the only system,

nor is arguably the best,

it is the most popular

and easiest to come by

A game with 20 million people buffeted by forces

external and internal for 1 person who wins.

People will undertake an exceedingly rare effort when desperate,

Causing gambling, sex, alchohal, and sin.

Dominance leads to lobbyist, leading to reinvention of how the game is played.

United States is overeager to run through and kill monsters:

Yet shows venerable devotion to those who fractured our base.

Found Poetry is a form of poetry in which one rearranges words to send a completely different message

in a poetic fashion, this poem’s platform is two New York Times articles.

Career Profile, what qualifies those who run our nation?

Looking to ensure vast amounts of power and free healthcare for life, sign up today to be a politician.

You get to make the rules, cause government shutdowns, and inflict your religion upon the country. And

once you’ve been elected, you have a 90% guarantee of reelection no matter what you do. And if that’s

not enough than the United States will throw in a complete and other disregards for your expertise,

political awareness, and complete lack of understanding of complicated systems such as the economy,

education, mass incarceration, and the environment. You can add to any bill in committee completely

anonymously, that’s even less traceability than an internet comment. All you need is a metric ton of cash

and a metric ton of friends with more cash. And if that’s not enough, then you will be able to throw

massive temper tantrums that cost Americans billions of dollars.

But wait, feel free to get away from your family for months at a time, and pay is up to 174,000 a month.

Worried about out deadlines, don’t, you won’t need to have an actual economic plan until 10 years after

the election. All you need is no original ideas, a complete lack of compromise, incredibly charisma, and a

high school diploma. And if you’re a wealthy elderly Caucasian male, your chances skyrocket. So if

you’re feeling the filibuster and you can’t wait to show off your pocket constitution, don’t wait, sign up

now for an election in 2016, and start your campaign touring today.

You may also enjoy Caged, a photo-journalism article on feed lots.

And Finally, pertaining to the why…

Personally, I have had one major academic obstacle

for as long as I remember. Contrary to actual belief, I

am not incredibly convicted to my grades. I simply

cannot control my need to maximize quality in what I

do. When I was taking the smarter balance, I believe I

failed the essay do to not using any of these sources

for evidence, and instead using every statistic I could

call on in my hour of need, and I created something

convincing for either argument. Therefore I do not

think of myself as a journalist, I simply take every

task as it is, and try to engrave excellency into it.

In short I am not in fact a journalist, I just am

creating journalism.

Writing is hard to describe. It holds different

sentiment to all of us. But to me it is, in the words

of the journalistic words of Brooke Foiles, all about

“complex phrases those pin-point precise feelings”. And

regardless of my love affair with art, It has never

captured my feelings to the same level as writing. We

are on the dawn of a new age, an age of not only the

immortality writing has long blessed humanity’s ideas

with, but also the a way to vanquish temporaryism.

People like John Green, Jane Austen, and William

Shakespeare are equally important to Bacon, Einstein,

Michelangelo, and Galileo. As a race we progress

through our adolescence, a ageing that is equally

prioritized between scientific and emotional

epiphanies.

Writing is a way for people like Maklmore, to “Help

people through their struggle too”. As Jamie Brindle

discovered the change of our hearts, or Shakespeare

uncovered the madness encompassed in love, they

preserved it for fools like us. Using nothing but

language, they taught the next generation how to live.

To me writing is what separates us from the apes we

rose from. Instead of simply bumping around and

scraping the surface of innovation, then letting this

knowledge die, we can pass on our enlightenment to the

next generation.

How could Bruno know the Universe to be infinite,

if Copernicus hadn’t contemplated it on paper. How

could John Green present his theory of unpredictability

being one of the best parts of life, is Jane Austen had

not proposed love as an uncontrollable force. To me

writing is the gateway to transcendence. A true

liberty, that although we can’t achieve in this

lifetime, we can bring our children one step closer.

Writing is how the entire human species gets better.

As a journalist I try my hardest, not to create an

essay that follows the assignment, but to spread that

flame to all within reach, and then I hope with all of

my heart that one of them can carry it farther. If

scientific discoveries can happen every day, I reason

epiphanies can. And that is what writing means to me,

what I intend to do with my work, to improve people,

myself included, to the greatest of my ability.

Journalism is important to me because even outside of

poetry, it is how I can attempt to make things ever so

slightly brighter. If every article I revise has the

spark of originality, maybe my comment can reach out to

the author. I don’t write to raise my grade, I write to

raise my humanity.

Special thanks to

Emrys Golden; Editor and chief, Writer, page designer, and researcher

Amber Rose Houck; Primary Editor

Koa Smith; Primary Secondary Editor

Jam Gonzales; Secondary Editor

Ben Pieras; Secondary Editor

Chloe Price; Secondary Editor

And the rest of journalism class as tertiary editors

As well as everyone on the list for carrying me so far, all of my sources, the inventor of the keyboard, John Green,

Google, Haiku Deck, Poster my wall, the New York Times And the school for approving journalism as a class

Semi-Redundant Index, redundant as in unnecessary, seriously, just read the whole thing

Front… 1

Personal Bio… 2-4

Magic the Gathering Review… 5

Role Playing Game Review… 6-7

Game of Life… 8

Politician Satirical… 9

Photojournalism… 10-11

Why I Write… 12

Special Thanks and Index… 13

Back Page… 14

The First and apparent Final issue of the

Eccentric inquisitor

Emrys Golden