Alternative Alternative Relationship Forms Relationship Forms Reeshma Haji Reeshma Haji October 10, 2007 October 10, 2007
Dec 29, 2015
Alternative Relationship Alternative Relationship FormsForms
Reeshma HajiReeshma Haji
October 10, 2007October 10, 2007
OutlineOutline
SinglehoodSinglehood Same-Sex MarriagesSame-Sex Marriages Break Break CohabitationCohabitation Interethnic & Interfaith RelationshipsInterethnic & Interfaith Relationships
SinglehoodSinglehood
Discussion: Stereotypes of single Discussion: Stereotypes of single men and single womenmen and single women
New York Times Article: Americans New York Times Article: Americans Love Marriage. But Why? Love Marriage. But Why? – By John Cloud (February 8, 2007)By John Cloud (February 8, 2007)
SinglehoodSinglehood
Singlehood and life satisfactionSinglehood and life satisfaction– Issue with broad definition of singleIssue with broad definition of single– Problem: single = not married (vs. never Problem: single = not married (vs. never
married)married)– When divorcees and widows taken out When divorcees and widows taken out
of “singles”, little difference in life of “singles”, little difference in life satisfactionsatisfaction
– No benefit of unhappy relationshipsNo benefit of unhappy relationships
SinglehoodSinglehood
Importance of strong social networksImportance of strong social networks ““We propose that people who are We propose that people who are
single – particularly women who have single – particularly women who have always been single- fare better than always been single- fare better than ideology would predict because they ideology would predict because they do have positive, enduring, and do have positive, enduring, and important interpersonal important interpersonal relationshipsrelationships””– (DePaulo & Morris, 2005, p. 57)(DePaulo & Morris, 2005, p. 57)
SinglehoodSinglehood
Ideology of Marriage and FamilyIdeology of Marriage and Family– DePaulo & Morris (2005)DePaulo & Morris (2005)– Glamorizes marriage and holds the Glamorizes marriage and holds the
sexual partnership as the only important sexual partnership as the only important peer relationshippeer relationship
– Presumes superior worth of those with Presumes superior worth of those with sexual partnerssexual partners
– Assumes everyone wants to marryAssumes everyone wants to marry SinglismSinglism
– Thought experimentThought experiment
Childfree (Single?) WomenChildfree (Single?) Women
American women who choose to be American women who choose to be childfree tend to be White, well-educated, childfree tend to be White, well-educated, and have non-traditional beliefs about and have non-traditional beliefs about gender rolesgender roles
These women give high ratings of These women give high ratings of satisfaction with their choice, and do not satisfaction with their choice, and do not differ from mothers in their reports of differ from mothers in their reports of subjective well-beingsubjective well-being
Single MothersSingle Mothers
Some women choose single motherhood, Some women choose single motherhood, but many have become single mothers but many have become single mothers through divorce, abandonment or through divorce, abandonment or widowhoodwidowhood
More likely than other families to live in More likely than other families to live in povertypoverty
Forced choice between working to provide Forced choice between working to provide resources for children and spending time resources for children and spending time with themwith them
Same-Sex MarriageSame-Sex Marriage
Review of legal historyReview of legal history– Netherlands (April, 2001)Netherlands (April, 2001)– Belgium (January, 2003)Belgium (January, 2003)– Ontario, Canada (July, 2003)Ontario, Canada (July, 2003)– MB, NS, QC, SK, NL, YT (2004)MB, NS, QC, SK, NL, YT (2004)– MT, U.S.A. (2005)MT, U.S.A. (2005)– NB, Canada (2005)NB, Canada (2005)
What happened in Massachusetts?What happened in Massachusetts?
Same-Sex MarriageSame-Sex Marriage
Why? (Herek, 2006)Why? (Herek, 2006)– Same-sex and heterosexual Same-sex and heterosexual
relationships have the same relationships have the same psychosocial dimensions (e.g., psychosocial dimensions (e.g., emotional attachment, satisfaction)emotional attachment, satisfaction)
– Parent’s sexual orientation is unrelated Parent’s sexual orientation is unrelated to providing a nurturing hometo providing a nurturing home
– Marriage offers social, psychological, Marriage offers social, psychological, and health benefitsand health benefits
CohabitationCohabitation
Cohabitation – living together without Cohabitation – living together without being legally marriedbeing legally married
Common law marriage – after a Common law marriage – after a certain number of years, can be certain number of years, can be treated as legally marriedtreated as legally married
CohabitationCohabitation
Why is it increasing?Why is it increasing?– Increased acceptance of nonmarital sexIncreased acceptance of nonmarital sex– Higher education and presence in the Higher education and presence in the
workforce make marriage less necessary workforce make marriage less necessary for women’s economic survivalfor women’s economic survival
– Increased anonymity associated with Increased anonymity associated with living in large cities (fewer restrictions living in large cities (fewer restrictions on behaviour)on behaviour)
– Fear of marriage due to divorce statsFear of marriage due to divorce stats
CohabitationCohabitation
Discuss in small groups (10 mins)Discuss in small groups (10 mins)1)1) Do many of your friends cohabit? What Do many of your friends cohabit? What
kinds of problems do they experience? kinds of problems do they experience? What kinds of advantages to they What kinds of advantages to they report?report?
2)2) Who seems more committed to the Who seems more committed to the cohabitation in heterosexual cohabitation in heterosexual relationships (the man or the woman)?relationships (the man or the woman)?
3)3) Who benefits more from the Who benefits more from the cohabitation in heterosexual cohabitation in heterosexual relationships (the man or the woman)?relationships (the man or the woman)?
Cohabitation Cohabitation
TypesTypes– Short-lived sexual relationships Short-lived sexual relationships
(“flings”)(“flings”)– Practical (saving money)Practical (saving money)– Trial marriageTrial marriage– Permanent alternative to marriagePermanent alternative to marriage– Fear of repeating “marriage mistake” Fear of repeating “marriage mistake”
(divorcees)(divorcees)
Cohabitation Cohabitation
Canadian Data (Bourdais & Lapierre-Canadian Data (Bourdais & Lapierre-Adamcyk, 2004)Adamcyk, 2004)– Most prominent in QC, where often a Most prominent in QC, where often a
basis for starting a familybasis for starting a family– Other Cdn provinces, “childless prelude Other Cdn provinces, “childless prelude
to marriage” (p. 929)to marriage” (p. 929)
CohabitationCohabitation
Considerations for Couples Considerations for Couples Contemplating Living TogetherContemplating Living Together
Nonmarital BirthsNonmarital Births
32%37% 41%
46%
64%
20%
30%
40%
50%
60%
70%
% of Births to unmarried women
Lipps, 2005
Interethnic RelationshipsInterethnic Relationships
Heterogamy vs. Homogamy?Heterogamy vs. Homogamy?– Interethnic daters seem to be similar in:Interethnic daters seem to be similar in:
AgeAge EducationEducation AttractivenessAttractiveness
Influential factorsInfluential factors– Social network diversitySocial network diversity– Availability of ingroup matesAvailability of ingroup mates– Own group status (minority vs. majority)Own group status (minority vs. majority)– EducationEducation
Interethnic RelationshipsInterethnic Relationships
Interfaith RelationshipsInterfaith Relationships
Canadian Census DataCanadian Census Data– 1 in 5 Cdn unions1 in 5 Cdn unions– Interfaith unions within same broad Interfaith unions within same broad
religious group more common (e.g., religious group more common (e.g., Catholics & Protestants)Catholics & Protestants)