Aggression management for peer moderators

Aggression Management

Name of Peer Moderator: _____________________

Is Anger Good or Bad

Bad GoodCan motivate and

energize us to do better

Can give us a direction to work towards

Can give strength to work against injustice

Can lead to aggression and destruction

Can lead to impulsive decisions we regret later

Can create hostility between people

Anger Vs. Aggression

Anger

Is an emotion

Can be good or bad

Need not be directed at others

Is normal and natural

Aggression

Is a behaviour

Is always harmful

Directed at others

Can be controlled

Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to you. And that matters, because how you act leads to consequences.

Types of Aggression

Verbal Physical

Aggression Also Means…

Defying authorityBullyingYellingBreaking Things Interrupting

SarcasmGossipingSpreading rumoursExcludingSitting alone

Share YOUR Story of Aggression

Who Are You?

The bully

The bullied

The bystander

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CONSEQUENCES OF AGGRESSION

Consequences for the Victim

Emotional - sadness, fear, guilt, low self-esteemPhysical – injury, frequent illnessesSocial – isolation, inability to make friendsAcademic – inability to concentrate, dropoutBehavioural – smoking, drinking, eating too

much/too little, school refusal

Being a victim of bullying can affect every part of our lives

Consequences for the Aggressor

It’s not only the victim

who suffers

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IS AGGRESSION LEARNT?

Where We Learn From

Family

Friends

Community

Media

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MANAGING ANGER AND AGGRESSION

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STEP 1: IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS

Identify Your Triggers

FailureDisappointmentNot getting things your wayFeeling insultedPerceiving unfairnessFrustrationStress

Watch your thoughts

• You did that on purpose…

• You wanted to hurt me…

• You deserve this…

• You never even asked me…

• You’re being unreasonable…

• You think you’re so good…

• I’ll show you…

• You started it…

• That’s not fair…

Catch it at the Right time

Inte

rnal

cu

es

• Stomach gets tight/upset

• Heart is beating faster

• Clenching fists

• Feel myself getting flushed

• Pressure on my temples

• Sweaty palms

• Clenched jaw

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STEP 2: CHANNELIZE YOUR ANGER

Express Yourself Write a diary Talk to a friend Paint

Channelize Your Energy

Go for a jog Dance Play a sport Regularize Breathing

Problem Solve Try to look at situation

objectively Look at alternatives Evaluate various options. Be sporty to “try” a new one

Be Regular with Sleep Appetite Recreation

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STEP 3: BUILD EMPATHY

Stop the Blame Game

Stop Blame Don’t blame

yourself or others Blaming does not

give solutions Consider situational

factors

Talk to the “Culprit” Put yourself in other’s

shoes Give your point of view Listen to the other’s

view Reason Try to ‘forgive’

Write a Letter to Someone You Have Bullied

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STEP 4: BECOME ASSERTIVE

Styles of Communication

Aggressive: Being a…. Bulldozer!!

Passive: Being a… Door Mat!!

Passive Aggressive - Being a… Sniper!!

Assertive: Being a… Sign Board!!

How To Be Assertive?

Do Be aware of your emotions

and triggers Look for mutually

acceptable alternatives. Be specific and clear Express your reasons and

feelings Listen to the other Use “I” statements Give feedback about

behaviour Accept and Apologize when

you make a mistake Include positive messages Talk one on one

Don’t Make excuses Apologize for asking Always give in Put yourself down Blame yourself or others Criticise the person Interrupt Be sarcastic Shout Use physical force Use threats

Saying NO

Use assertive body languageDecide on your position before speakingDon’t apologise when it’s not necessaryDon’t make excuses when not necessaryDon’t ask permission to say noDon’t wait for acceptance – accept the consequencesThe Broken Record Technique

Saying NO

The Bystander Effect

If you see someone being bullied

Get help from an adult Be a friend to the person being bullied Help the person get away from the situation Don’t give bullying an audience Set a positive example

If you walk away and get help, you’re part

of the solution.

If you stay and watch, you’re part of

the problem.

Thank You!!