Academic writing i

ACADEMIC WRITING I

June 13, 2014 – Supplemental information

TodayQuotations & Paraphrasing

- Note: The concept of paraphrasing was only introduced in class today. This slide show provides you with more information and instruction about paraphrasing. Feel free to use this to help you with writing Assignment 5.

Direct quotationsUsually need reporting verbs or phrases:

• - assert - according to• - insist - As XYZ says• - claim• - say• - state• - suggest

Direct quotations

• It seems apparent that if athletes want to win, they must

consider using drugs. Dr. Michael Karsten, a Dutch

physician who has prescribed steroids to hundreds of

athletes, states, “If you are especially gifted, you may

win once, but from my experience you can’t continue

to win without drugs. The field is just too filled with

drug users” (Bamberger and Yaeger, 1997, p.62).

Indirect quotations

• It seems apparent that if athletes want to win, they must

consider using drugs. Dr. Michael Karsten, a Dutch

physician who said he had prescribed steroids to

hundreds of athletes, stated that if [athletes] were

especially gifted, [they] might win once, but from his

experience [they] couldn’t continue to win without drugs.

He asserted that the field was just too filled with drug

users (Bamberger and Yaeger, 2010, p. 62).

Changing Direct Quotations to Indirect

1. Remove the quotation marks (“ “)

2. Add the subordinator, that. (i.e., “asserts that…”)

3. Change verb tense if necessary. - Remember tense rules.

4. Change pronouns (and time expressions if necessary) to maintain the sense of the original.

Direct to indirect quotation

ParaphrasingPutting a passage into your own words without altering the meaning.

Used to:

- (slightly) shorten a longer statement, maintaining the main ideas

- implement information/ideas from others’ work

Paraphrasing techniquesChange from a clause to a phrase

i.e., After he studied, John took a nap.

After studying, John took a nap.

The house across the street is new.

The house that is across the street is new.

Paraphrasing techniquesChange from Quoted to Indirect Speech.

i.e., Mr. Lee said, “I am ready for lunch.”

Mr. Lee said he was ready for lunch.

Paraphrasing techniquesChange from active voice to passive voice **

i.e., A hotel employee will carry your bags.

Your bags will be carried by a hotel employee.

** Use this only if you cannot find a better way to paraphrase.

Paraphrasing techniquesReplace words with synonyms

i.e., A hotel employee will carry your bags.

A bell boy will pick up your luggage.

i.e., The stallion was content with the mare.

The stallion was happy with the mare.

Paraphrasing techniquesWhen you can’t find a synonym

- Replace the original word with a definition**

i.e., The stallion was content with the mare.

The male horse was happy with the female horse.

** Use this only if you cannot find a better way to paraphrase.

Paraphrasing techniquesChange word forms

- Use an adverb instead of an adjective.

- Use a verb instead of a noun.

i.e., Terry is an accurate typist.

Terry types accurately.

Paraphrasing techniquesThe previous were individual techniques for paraphrasing.

You cannot simply change one aspect (i.e., one word) of a passage and call it a paraphrase. That would actually be plagiarism.

Paraphrasing techniquesFor effective paraphrasing, you must combine these techniques.

i.e., After he ate lunch, Moe took a nap.

Moe slept a little after eating lunch.

- Change to phrase, use synonym.

Paraphrasing techniquesFor effective paraphrasing, you must combine these techniques.

i.e., The house that is across the street is old.

The house across the street is old.

The house on the other side of the street is old.

The dwelling on the other side of the road is ancient.

Paraphrasing techniques – one moreChange transitions

i.e., Although it was raining, Bob walked to work.

It was raining, but Bob walked to work.

It was raining; however, Bob walked to work.

Paraphrasing techniques – one moreChange transitions

i.e., Although it was raining, Bob walked to work.

It was raining, but Bob walked to work.

It was raining; however, Bob walked to work.

(With changed word form):

Despite the rain, Bob went to work on foot.

Paraphrasing techniques - PracticeToday, people are worried about internet security.

Advocates of internet tracking believe that it helps marketers to understand what people want.

People who oppose internet tracking believe that it is an invasion of privacy.

This information age will cause more and more people to become concerned with the level of personal detail that can be found from the internet.

Try these. Sample paraphrases are on the next slide.

Paraphrasing techniques - PracticeToday, people are worried about internet security.- Internet security is a concern these days.- Recently, internet security has become a concern.

Advocates of internet tracking believe that it helps marketers to understand what people want.- People who support internet tracking point to its usefulness in marketing.- Internet tracking supporters claim that marketers can use it to understand consumers.

People who oppose internet tracking believe that it is an invasion of privacy.

- Internet tracking opponents claim it violates privacy.

- Internet tracking violates privacy, according to its detractors.

This information age will cause more and more people to become concerned with the level of personal detail that can be found from the internet.

- The amount of personal data available online will become an increasing concern as a result of the information age.

How to paraphrase - Read the original passage carefully, several times.

- Decide the main ideas of the passage.

- Highlight important words or phrases.

- Put the main points in your own words.

- Check your version with the original to make sure:1. the original’s meaning is preserved.2. your version is sufficiently different from the original

(Oshima & Hogue, 2006)

Compare the original and paraphrase1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase?

2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase. a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase? b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase? c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence? d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase?

Compare the original and paraphrase1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase?

2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase. a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase? b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase? c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence? d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase?

56

Language

at the endBut

however

have wished for

reasons

the last sentence

Paraphrase ExampleOriginal:

Differentiation as an instructional approach promotes a balance between a student's style and a student's ability. Differentiated instruction provides the student with options for processing and internalizing the content, and for constructing new learning in order to progress academically (Thompson, 2009).

Paraphrase Example - PoorOriginal:

Differentiation as an instructional approach promotes a balance between a student's style and a student's ability. Differentiated instruction provides the student with options for processing and internalizing the content, and for constructing new learning in order to progress academically (Thompson, 2009).

Paraphrase:Differentiation is a way to encourage equality between the approach and talent of the student (Thompson, 2009). This type of instruction gives students different ways to deal with and grasp information, and for establishing new learning to move on in education (Thompson, 2009).

Paraphrase Example - ImprovedOriginal:

Differentiation as an instructional approach promotes a balance between a student's style and a student's ability. Differentiated instruction provides the student with options for processing and internalizing the content, and for constructing new learning in order to progress academically (Thompson, 2009).

ParaphraseTeachers use differentiated instruction to help students learn, allowing the teacher to cater lessons to the way each student learns and each student's skill (Thompson, 2009).

PracticePassage:

In 1857, a British expedition led by Richard Burton and John Speke set out to find the great lakes shown on Ptolemy’s map. After reaching Lake Tanganyika, the two men split up because Burton was ill.

Example

Which one is the best?

Richard Burton and his friend looked for the great lakes shown on Ptolemy’s map. The men split up.

In 1857, Richard Burton and John Speke searched for the great lakes on Ptolemy’s map, but they had to split up when Burton was ill.

Two men from Britain looked for the great lakes but had to split up because one was ill.

Paraphrase: Important noteALWAYS include a citation when you paraphrase.

- Just because you have changed the delivery of the idea does not mean it is yours.

- Einstein’s Theory of Relativity

If I call it “Relativity Theory”, that doesn’t make it mine.

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity

Prof. Merritt’s Relativity Theory. Hmm…

Paraphrase: Important noteAPA style does not require you to include page numbers for summaries and paraphrasing, but it is a useful courtesy for your reader.

Paraphrase- “The purpose of paraphrasing is to be able to use it as supporting material in your writing,” (Oshima & Hogue, 2006).

- Obviously, the same goes for quotations and summaries.

Paraphrase Example 1Passage from a Book:

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Good Paraphrase Example

HIGHLIGHTED PASSAGE

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place

ORIGINAL PASSAGE• Ancient Egyptians

believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

PARAPHRASEDPASSAGE

• King Osiris was the first pharaoh and spread knowledge. Queen Isis ruled Egypt when he was gone.

Bad Paraphrase Example

Original Passage• Ancient Egyptians

believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Highlighted Passage

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Poor Paraphrasing• King Osiris was an

ancient Egyptian King and the first pharaoh. He was good and wise because he spread knowledge to other parts of the world. His wife Isis ruled Egypt in his place.

Paraphrase Example 2Passage from a Book:

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother Set, who cut Osiris’s body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Good Example

Original Passage• Upon returning home,

Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Highlighted Passage

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Paraphrased Passage

Osiris’s brother Set killed Osiris by cutting his body into pieces, and Isis put the body back together.

Bad Example

Original Passage• Upon returning home,

Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Highlighted Passage

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Poor Paraphrasing• Osiris was murdered

and Isis found the body