“12 Great Quotes about Asperger’s and Autism” www.dailyaspergerstips.com
Quote 1: Remember it’s just 1
Person
“If you’ve met one person with
autism, you’ve met one person with
autism,”
Dr. Stephen Shore
Expect you’ve heard this before.
But it’s SO true.
Autism isn’t 1 thing.
It’s a whole range . . . they don’t call it Autism SPECTRUM
for nothing.
Each child and adult is totally unique.
Some great at math.
Some aren’t.
Some stim.
Some don’t.
Some become college professors.
Some don’t.
Some like art.
Some don’t.
The list of “somes” never ends.
Sure there’s likely shared things, hence the diagnosis such as:
* Not liking change.
* Sensory issues.
* Black and white thinking.
* Social communication challenges.
* Intense interest in subjects.
(To name a few probable common things).
But anyone who thinks autism is a single thing is mistaken.
It’s essential for us all to remember.
And to remind others too.
Because a child is NOT autism.
They are a child.
Called Mat, Chris, Joe, Caroline, Wendy or Jane.
With dreams.
With ambitions.
With thoughts, hopes and fears.
Like all of us.
Part of the same world we live in – with a little
differently wired brain.
And the world would be a duller place without this difference.
(Which I believe should be celebrated.)
‘Tis enough philosophizing for today.
And talking of philosophy.
If you’d like more in depth musings on all things Asperger’s
and Parenting join me at The Parenting Asperger’s Community:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To difference,
Dave Angel
Quote 2 – Bullies Need to
Get Off The Bus
“We need to embrace those
who are different and the
bullies need to be the ones
who get off the bus,”
Caren Zucker, co-author of “In
a Different Key”
This message is in tribute to all who’ve been bullied.
The statistics bear the sad facts:
The vast majority (maybe all?) kids with ASD get bullied.
Why?
Certain kids at school look for difference.
Then use this difference against their victims.
And kids with ASD can stand out a little.
Maybe it’s how they physically carry themselves, how they
speak, what they speak about, their brutal honesty, or not
understanding social niceties.
Sad but true.
What can you do as a parent?
BE THERE.
Sure there’s preventive stuff too. Social skills training can
play a part. And building a relationship where they can, and
will, confide in you too.
But perhaps your #1 job is to provide that safe haven.
Unconditional love. A calm'ish' home. A place your child can retreat
to when they need to rest and recuperate.
School is long and tiring for kids with ASD.
So much concentration. So much to remember. So much to endure.
Throw in bullies and it can be just SO emotionally draining.
Home is where they recharge.
Gather energy for another day.
So keep providing that for them.
And if you need help yourself (as it can be just as tiring for a
parent to go through all this) then come and join our online
discussion group. . .
Brew yourself a coffee. Get out your phone. And open up our
Facebook page. You can read about other parents like you, and how
they cope with day to struggles. You can chat with other parents
like you, and ask questions too. We’ve got members all round the
world so there’s normally someone around at all times. It’s your
safe space in the world – if you want it. Interested?
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To providing haven,
Dave Angel
Quote 3 – Wise Words from The Grand
Old Man of Asperger’s
"It seems that for success in science or art, a
dash of autism is essential."
Hans Asperger
The grand old man himself.
Declaring the positives of Asperger’s.
And you know what he may have had a point. Just feast your eyes
on this list of people diagnosed with Asperger’s in the music
biz:
Gary Numan (Solo artist)
Craig Nicholls (Lead singer of The Vines)
Susan Boyle (Singer)
Travis Meeks (Singer in Days of The New)
Ladyhawke (Rock singer)
James Durbin (American Idol)
Adam Young (producer for Owl City)
Dan Bull (UK rapper)
Aleksander Vinter (Electronic artist from Norway)
Johnny Dean (Lead singer of UK group Menswear)
Bap Kennedy (Irish Singer/Songwriter)
and our very own Jermaine Gardner (piano talent extraordinaire)
Many more too. Just a quick list.
What I love about Hans’s quote is the positive.
Yep as a parent it can be so tough. But there are amazing talents
within your child (doesn’t have to be of the *superstar* type
either – can be any number of skills and abilities).
And when you keep supporting your child and giving them the love
they need . . . it helps them grow and fulfill their potential.
I know it can be a tough road to ride alone.
So you may need some help . . .
We’re here for you 100%. Join us at The Parenting Asperger’s
Community for all the parenting help and support you need:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To talented aspies,
Dave Angel
Quote 4 - The Creator of Stone
Spears
"Who do you think made the first stone
spears? The Asperger guy. If you were to
get rid of all the autism genetics, there
would be no more Silicon Valley."
Temple Grandin
Many people diagnosed with Asperger’s (or displaying many traits of
. . .) driving Silicon Valley.
The likes of Bill Gates (Microsoft) and Mark Zuckerburg
(Facebook) often rumored.
But whether they are or aren’t diagnosed isn’t really the
point here. More about the marriage of tech and ASD.
For many reasons people on the spectrum do well with tech.
They are logical thinkers.
Computers and tech are the ultimate logical machines.
No time or need for social niceties or complex emotions in tech
land. In fact it can be a safe haven from this stuff for many aspies
(why do you think so many people with Asperger’s are into
gaming?)
But the ability to concentrate and focus intently.
Another great match for coding and programming.
Needs a meticulous, sharp and hard working mind.
Focused on 1 small subject area.
Sound familiar?
Yep it’s an aspie world alright.
Big companies like SAP, Microsoft and others are slowly taking
note. Providing work programs that allow people on the spectrum to
get jobs with them. To avoid the normal unhelpful recruitment
procedures.
And give them a chance to show what they can do.
And an employee who LOVES to work, DISLIKES office gossip, and
ENJOYS working long hours on complicated tasks . . . well they’re
pretty much ideal right?
Sadly it’s a slow thing. Most companies NOT ASD friendly.
Which is why ASD unemployment is horribly high.
But don’t fear if you want to prepare your young person for the
world of work . . .
I’ve got an e-book called “How to help your young person with
Asperger's find and keep a job”, which helps you does exactly
that. It’s one of 33 e-books in the online library here at
Parenting Asperger’s Community. To gain full access to all of
them:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To spear makers,
Dave Angel
Quote 5 – Here’s to you Mr. Robison
"Saying you "have" something implies that
it's temporary and undesirable. Asperger's
isn't like that. You've been Aspergian
as long as you can remember, and you'll be
that way all your life. It's a way of being, not
a disease."
John Elder Robison
Here’s to you Mr. Robison . . .
Couldn’t agree more.
Asperger’s is a description . . .
Of certain characteristics, qualities and behaviors.
Lumps people together (even though they’re all unique).
Worse . . . it labels.
Asperger’s SYNDROME
Autism Spectrum DISORDER
For (the many) ignorant even . . . Asperger’s DISEASE
Negative words.
Lead to negative perceptions.
These medical terms go hand in hand with “cure”.
And of course “cure” implies sickness – illness –
something to be rid off!
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Asperger’s is a different way of viewing the world.
A differently wired brain.
DIFFERENT . . . Not better . . . Not worse . . . DIFFERENT.
And let’s be honest if we lived in a world where eye contact,
gossip and a need to follow fashion were not so prevalent. A lot
of the so-called ‘problems’ of Asperger’s would disappear
overnight.
Just sayin’
For more occasional rants, arguments and pleas on behalf of
children with Asperger’s (and you their parents):
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To sayin’ it out loud,
Dave Angel
PS Anyone get my Simon and Garfunkel mis-quote?
Quote 6 – Welcome to Opposite
World
"Imagine a world where Asperger’s
was the norm, and non-autistics or
neurotypicals were the minority. Let's
try it: Those who feel the need to
constantly be with a variety of friends
are considered fickle. Those with no
propensity for computers and science
are called geeks. Those with no special interest are thought to
be ungr ounded and lost. Those without obsessive focus have to
take classes to cultivate it."
Rudy Simone (Advocate and author)
AKA "Opposite world."
Changes things a complete 360.
But a great point.
So many challenges for people with Asperger's are socially
manufactured:
* Eye contact - Is it really SO important?
* Having lots of friends - Should it be a good measure of social
success? (For that matter should social success even matter that
much?)
* Being an "all rounder" at school - Aspies like certain topics
of interest. Struggle if they can't see the point of something.
If the school system reflected this - instead of a need for
covering everything; would likely reduce problems.
* Selling yourself at job interviews - Interviews are false and
manufactured. Why not test applicants with a real practical test
of skills instead of the social merry go round of traditional
interviews? Methinks ASD employment rates may improve.
* Test academic skills all year NOT just an isolated exam -
Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. Can be unbearable for someone with
ASD. Yet they may have showed the skills required all year. But
failed miserably on that 1 exam day.
* Celebrate REAL knowledge - If having an in depth interest in
animals, history, math, science, trains and other such topics was
seen as a great attribute; this would up the average aspie's
cred. In a celebrity obsessed world it seems such "bookish"
knowledge comes a poor 2nd to gossip, triviality and scandal.
* Looking a certain way - If we could all look how we like, the
world may be a more honest place. Less need to follow certain
fashions, trends and rules. Aspies often ignorant to such trends
would definitely do better in this type of world.
I could go on. And on . . .
But hey point made. And I'm preaching to the converted anyway.
However sometimes it's really all about perspective. And
talking of perspective: If you'd like to chew the fat on all things
Asperger's and parenting then here's the magical shiny link:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To challenging perspective,
Dave Angel
Quote 7 – The Nobel Prize Winning
Aspie
"Nobel prize-calibre geniuses often have certain core autistic features at their heart" Allan Snyder, director of Sydney University's Centre for the Mind.
Deep knowledge on a subject.
Intense focus and concentration.
A unique way of thinking.
All essential for a Nobel prize. All pretty common in people with ASD too. So I can certainly see the link above.
Embodied by one Dr. Vernon Smith . . . An adult aspie (now retired) professor in Economics. He's worked at Brown University, the University of Massachusetts, the University of Arizona, George Mason University (Virginia), and the University of Alaska.
In 2002 he was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for "having established laboratory experiments as a tool in empirical economic analysis, especially in the study of alternative market mechanisms".
To be honest I don't have a clue what that means! But sounds very, very clever indeed. Certainly must be impressive in his field to get the Nobel Prize. So here's to Vernon Smith and other innovative aspies out there.
And if you'd like to hear more about inspirational aspie role models . . . Then you'll love our 10 week Inspirational Aspies Course. Features 10 great well known role models with ASD (includes a pro surfer, pro gamer, actor, musician, advocate . . .) It's a bonus for all new members of The Parenting Asperger's Community: http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm To impressive aspies, Dave Angel
Quote 8 – The Power of Words
"Patience. Patience. Patience.
Work to view my autism as a
different ability rather than a
disability. Look past what you
may see as limitations and see
the gifts autism has given me.
It may be true that I’m not good
at eye contact or conversation,
but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on
my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true
that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my
attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I
might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh." Ellen
Notbohm (Parent and author)
Different ABILITY
Not
DIS ABILITY.
A few different letters; but a world apart in meaning.
Let's see why . . .
Top 3 definitions of Disability at Dictionary.com are:
1. lack of adequate power, strength, or physical or mental
ability; incapacity.
2. a physical or mental handicap, especially one that prevents a
person from living a full, normal life or from holding a gainful
job.
3. anything that disables or puts one at a disadvantage:
"Lack of power"
"Handicap"
"Prevents from living a full life or gaining a job"
" Disables . . . put at disadvantage"
Don't exactly drip off the tongue with positivity, now do they?
Now don't get me wrong. Kids with Asperger's don't have a
level playing field. The social world we live in - does indeed put
them
at a disadvantage. A big disadvantage.
But in my book doesn't mean they have a disability.
It's a lot to do with what surrounds them.
Expectations.
Social norms.
Day to day stuff that doesn't naturally happen in their
differently wired brain. Like that old quote attributed to
Einstein (though not sure he actually said it):
"Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability
to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is
Stupid"
They're being judged on the stuff they are not naturally good
at (the fishy tree climbing stuff!)
Disability judges the person on their negatives. What they CAN'T
do.
Instead DIFFERENT ABILITY starts with the positive. Saying you
have ability first and foremost. I Like this. Like this much more.
And whilst this may seem like semantics to some. It's not. It's more.
Way more.
It's mind set. View point. And the way someone is seen in the
world.
BIG stuff.
And talking of mind set; as a parent it's important to keep positive.
But I know there's days (maybe lots of days) - when it lips.
You're exhausted. Frustrated. Maybe can't even find the energy to
get up and face the world. When this happens do you have back up
and support you need?
I hope so.
But if not . . . don't worry . . . we're there for you . . .
The Parenting Asperger's Online Support Group is open 24-7
whenever you need help & support through the troubled times:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To positivity,
Dave Angel
Quote 9 – To suffer . . . or
not to suffer . . . that is
the question
"I do not suffer from Autism,
but I do s suffer from the way
you treat me."
(Anon)
Email Spoiler alert . . . This has
some overlap with yesterday's
topic. But (in my humble opinion)
still worth a read.
Still with me? OK good . .. here goes . . .
Autism: A word to explain a bunch of behaviors, and the way the
brain works.
But suffer from . . . ? Wrong word choice methinks.
Sure ...the brain of people with asd is wired different.
So stands to reason it's not fair to expect people with ASD to behave
EXACTLY the same as everyone else.
It's like the quote says:
The people who do expect you to behave a certain way; THEY cause
any suffering (rather than 'autism' itself).
Was chatting about this over the 'inter-connect' the other day with
a mom in Holland.
The media love a good tale of "suffering".
"Asperger's sufferer does this..."
"Asperger's sufferer does that . . ."
Great sensationalist news copy sure it helps sell papers. But not
helpful to people with ASD.
Suffering is just another word on the level of disorder, disease,
illness and more.
Implies "something's wrong with this guy/gal".
BIG value judgment.
"Something's different" . .. muchos better.
NO value judgment implied.
And talking of unfair judgments . . . Would you like to visit a
mystical never land place where negative judgments don't exist?
Where kids, teens & adults with ASD (and their parents) happily
exist . . . Supporting each other . . . Helping each other . . . Every
step of their journey . . .
Well step forward Tinkerbell and visit our online parenting support
group today. In the land where positivity and mutual respect really
does exist:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To no suffering,
Dave Angel
Quote 10 – A Mother’s
Instinct and more
"As a mom, you worry about
protecting your kid. But there
are extra added layers of fears
when you're talking about a
kid with autism or who has
some special needs issue."
Holly Robinson Peete Actress
and mom
I'd be very surprised if anyone whose reading this d doesn’t agree.
EVERY mom worries about their kids.
It's hard wired.
A survival instinct.
Mother nature produces chemicals in mom's to make it so.
ADD to that modern day life.
24 hr news channels. Constant streaming internet news. The
uncensored world of Facebook.
All sharing news stories. Of which a % are scary.
Kids being harmed, bullied and hurt in all kinds of ways.
The more horrific. The more they're covered. The more people hear
them. Sews huge seeds of doubt in all parents.
ADD to that ASD.
Further vulnerability. Social naivety. Not able to pick out the "bad
guys"
quite as easily.
No surprise such fear exists (as mentioned in the above quote).
Some fear is healthy. Nature's way of saying "be careful".
Too much . . . and it can stunt your child's development.
What to do?
* Equip your child from an early age. Role model, teach and
discuss all manner of social situations.
* Limit your news intake. Seriously there is so much fear
mongering and sensationalization in the media - it can't be good
for your brain.
* Work closely with the school on skill development , bullying
and keep safe work.
* Give your child increasing independence and life experience
over time. Slowly, in a safe way. But they need this to grow.
* Get the advice and experience of other moms in your situation.
They've been there and done it (or doing it). So got tips and
advice aplenty to help you.
And you know where this heading right?
Yep a plug for our own online Support Group - The Parenting
Asperger's Community. It's something I set up so of course I'm a tad
biased. But I do really believe in this group.
The set of parents we have at the moment - all traveling together on
the bumpy road of raising a child with ASD - are exceptional. Kind,
giving, supportive and yet honest enough to admit they have really
tough days too. And how about this for a 3 word testimonial one
mom (Heather) wrote about the group recently:
"Never alone again!"
If you'd like to be part of this support network and never be alone
again:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To safety in numbers,
Dave Angel
Quote 11 – It’s hiding (just below the
surface) and boy does it hurt
“Protecting myself from the influx of
painful stimuli, just give me space and I
shall be okay.”
― Tina J. Richardson author and woman
with autism.
One of the biggest problems for people with
Asperger’s is the “hidden” nature of it.
People with physical challenges often easy to see:
Wheelchair . . . missing limb . . . the way they move.
Joe public can see and easily understand. Much tougher with ASD.
You cannot SEE anything obvious.
Drill down a little it’s there alright. Using Tina’s
example above of stimuli. You can see it in:
* The piercing effect of false lighting – can cause
headaches, painful eyes and physical unease. Which can lead to
stimming and even self injurious behaviors.
* The sound of a police siren or fire alarm can cause actual
physical pain to a child.
* Certain smells can be really tough to process. They appear
hyper strong to a child with ASD.
(Note all children are different on this. In fact many have
“under” sensitivity rather than over).
That’s without mentioning sensitivity to pain, face blindness,
tonal deafness and other related issues.
Stimuli (all the stuff surrounding us) is BIG for kids with ASD.
And perhaps one of the ‘forgotten’ problems of the school
environment is just this:
They are terrible places from a sensory perspective – before
you even get to the education and social dynamics.
Bright lighting, busy classrooms, noisy corridors, close
proximity, school dinner smells, the scent of many other people,
and on and on. No wonder school’s such a tough gig for many. But
I’m sure you know that already.
Children with ASD really don’t tend to flourish in school. And
it’s a source of such pain to them and their parents. Which is why
I put together the “Asperger’s Education” program. It’s a series of
5 interviews with education experts (a teacher, psychologist,
advocate, mom, and life coach) all about helping your child with
Asperger’s get the best from school.
I used to sell this program for $197. But now I give it away as a
free bonus for parents who join The Parenting Asperger’s
Community, because I know how valuable this information can be.
If you’d like a copy of this program which improves your child's
school experience the full details are at:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To surviving school,
Dave Angel
Quote 12 – Her Brain
is Like Google Images
“I’m a visual thinker not a language based thinker. My brain is like Google Images” Temple Grandin I love the simplicity of this. And the great way it explains the ASD brain for many (note
- there are always exceptions; but the majority of kids with ASD tend towards visual thinking). Too much language. Too much talking. Too much verbal description. Often not good for kids with ASD . . . Which is tough when they have teachers, parents, grandparents, friends, sports coaches, church leaders, activity organizers all talking at them. Trying to explain to them. Often needs to be verbal communication as it’s an immediate thing. So short sentences. No metaphors. Basic, uncomplicated language. But if it doesn’t have to be straight away. Take your pick from: * Texting * Online Messaging * Planner
* Communication board * Visual symbols * Journal * Whiteboard * Hand written note . . . and more. Some depend on the child’s age obviously. Point being: think visual not verbal, whenever possible. Simple but effective. And I’m a huge fan of the simple approach. You can see it in the 33 e-books and special reports in the members area of The Parenting Asperger’s Community. I break them into specialized areas like
"How to Get (and Keep) a job for young people with Asperger's" "College Success for Young People with Asperger's" "Surviving The Teen Years with Asperger's" "How to Cope with Meltdowns" "The Super Simple System For Teaching The Teachers (about
Asperger's)" "Grandparents Top Tips for a Child with Asperger's Syndrome" "A Parent's Guide to Social and Independent Living Skills" "A Parent's Guide to Emotions and Communication in
Children with Asperger's" . . . and more . . .
They’re short, sweet & very effective. If you’d like access to
all of them; then you can take a trial membership of The Parenting
Asperger’s Community today:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm
To simple stuff,
Dave Angel