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SP105Listening

Welcome to the Class!

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What is Communication?

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What is communication?

Sender Message Receiver

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What is communication?

Sender Message Receiver

Shannon and Weaver’s “Linear Model of Communication”

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What is communication?

(Encode) (Decode)

Sender Message Receiver Verbal / Nonverbal

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What is communication?

(Encode) (Decode)

Sender Message Receiver Verbal / Nonverbal

Channel Channel

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What is communication?

(Encode) (Decode)

Sender Message Receiver Verbal / Nonverbal

Channel Channel

Feedback

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What is communication?

(Encode) (Decode)

Sender Message Receiver Verbal / Nonverbal

Channel Channel

Noise

Feedback

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Berlo’s Interactive Model of Communication

(Encode) (Decode)

Sender Message Receiver Verbal / Nonverbal

Channel Channel

Noise

Feedback

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Barlund’s Transactional Model of Communication

(Encode) (Decode)

Sender Message Receiver

Receiver Verbal / Nonverbal Sender

Channel Channel

Noise

Feedback

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Message – two sides

Verbal Communication

&

Nonverbal Communication

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Verbal Communication:

What is verbal communication?

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Verbal Communication:

What is verbal communication?

Spoken word

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Verbal Communication:

What is verbal communication?

Spoken word

Content

Written word

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Nonverbal Communication: What is nonverbal communication?

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Nonverbal Communication: What is nonverbal communication?

Gestures Facial Expressions Paralanguage Body Movement / Space Touch Clothing Hair Jewelry and much more!

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Benefits of Communicating:

It is said that we learn:

10% of what we read 20 % of what we hear 30% of what we see 70% of what we speak

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Harvard Business Review 2005 states: A recent survey of 428 personnel

managers indicated that oral communication skills were the most important factors for obtaining employment and promotions.

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US Dept. of Education 2005 reported that:

Language and thought are interconnected and as undergraduate students develop their linguistic skills, students hone the quality of their thinking and become intellectually and socially empowered.

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Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler Corporation once said:

“The most important thing I learned in college was how to communicate. You can have brilliant ideas but if you can’t get them across, your brains won’t get you anywhere.”

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Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “All great communicators were

once bad communicators.

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Fear of Communication:

People tend to stress out in 3 different ways in various communication events:

1. Physiological 2. Emotional 3. Psychological

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Physical Stress:

Sleepless nights Upset stomach Dizziness Tingling sensations in hands

and/or legs

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Physical Stress:

Trembling knees Sweaty palms Light headedness Dry mouth Too much saliva Nervous cough or laugh Shaky or strained voice

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Emotional Stress:

Feelings of overwhelmed fear Loss of control Depression Panic Anxiety Helplessness Anger Inadequacy And more

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Psychological Stress:

Loss of memory Negative thoughts or self-talk Jumbled thought patterns Nervous repetition of words or

phrases – ah, umm, you know? Awkward pauses

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You’re not alone!

Many people feel the fear and stress of communication. No one is immune to the physiological, psychological and emotional changes that come with interacting with others

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Other people who feel this way are: Ronald Regan Barbara Streisand Tom Cruise Oprah Winfrey George W. Bush Jewel

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10 Coping Strategies:

1. Know how you react to stress. 2. Know your strengths and

weaknesses. 3. Know basic principles of communication. 4. Know that it always looks and

feels worse from the inside. 5. Know what you want to say. 6. Believe in yourself.

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10 Coping Strategies:

7. View communication positively. 8. Visualize being successful. 9. Celebrate differences 10. Learn from experience.

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The Importance of Listening How do you determine what to

listen to?

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The Importance of Listening How do you determine what to

listen to?

Listening is driven by motives or needs - what are your motives or needs?

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The Importance of Listening How do you determine what to listen to?

Listening is driven by motives or needs what are your motives or needs?

Our motives and/or needs cause us to filter what we listen to and what we don’t listen to in various communication contexts.

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Do you have a responsibility to listen all the time?

Is it possible to listen all of the time?

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Many people have never learned to listen and that listening takes time and concentration.

In learning to communicate, the approach has always focused on the speaker when the focus should be on the receiver.

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Effective communication begins with listening, not speaking.

Think of the listener as carrying 80 percent of the responsibility for effective communication

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The process of listening involves listening with our: Ears Eyes Physiological Body Mind – Psychological Hearts – Emotion, empathetic Environment – Social Soul - Spiritual

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HURIER Model

There are six-components to the HURIER listening model which serves as a framework for building listening skills.

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HURIER Model

The letters in HURIER represents six interrelated listening processes:

Hearing – Ch.3 Understanding – Ch.4 Remembering – Ch. 5 Interpreting – Ch. 6 Evaluating – Ch. 7 Responding – Ch.8

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How were you taught to listen?

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Learned Used Taught

Listening: 1st 45 % Least

Speaking: 2nd 30% Next Least

Reading: 3rd 16% Next Most

Writing: 4th 9% Most

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Receiving the Message

Receiving the message is a vital component in the process of communication.

Listening is the skill that enables us to receive messages.

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The Message

Denotative message – dictionary meaning.

Connotative message – emotional meaning.

Relational message - relationship

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Listening

What is listening? How do we listen? How can you tell someone is

listening? How can you tell when someone is

not listening?

Take out a sheet of paper, please.

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Listening - Good

1. Describe the person who is a good listener.

2. Describe how you knew they were listening.

3. How do they make you feel when they listen to you?

4. How do you feel toward them?

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Listening - Poor

1. Describe the person who is a poor listener.

2. Describe how you knew they were not listening.

3. How do they make you feel when they don’t listen to you?

4. How do you feel toward them?

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Listening and Communicating We learn to listen before we are able to

speak.

The average person spends: 9% of their time reading

(taught first, learned last) 16% of their time writing

(taught 2nd, learned next to last) 30% of their time speaking

(taught 3rd, learned next most) 45% of their time listening

(taught last, learned first)

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Listening is a skill and a process that includes 5 steps:

1. Hearing is the physiological aspect of listening. Noise – White/Masked

2. Attending is the psychological process of listening. Filtering process. Motivation, incentive and act.

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Steps to listening:

3. Understanding is composed of several elements: Rules of language. Knowledge of the source. Context of the message. Understanding depends on the

listeners mental ability (intelligence).

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Steps to listening:

4. Remembering is the ability to recall information once we have understood it.

Factors that help us to remember are:

Number of times we have heard it. Amount of information to store. Ability to rehearse or not. We remember 25% of what we

understand.

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Steps to listening:

5. Responding is the final element in the process. There are three ways to respond:

Passive – paying attention and nonverbally responding w/o offering any verbal feedback.

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Steps to listening:

Active – paying attention and encouraging expanded information and clarity from the sender by asking questions, paraphrasing and having empathy.

Directive – telling others what to do regardless of how it may or may not effect or impact them.

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Poor listening habits:

1. Pseudolistening – faking listening. 2. Stage Hogging – interrupting others to hear

one’s own voice. 3. Selective listening – responding to only a

part of the message. 4. Filling in the gaps – listening long enough to

think you know what the message is. 5. Insulated listening – avoiding certain topics. 6. Defensive listening – taking innocent

comments as personal attacks. 7. Ambushing – storing issues from previous

discussions and using them at a later time.

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Reasons to listen:

Work

Relationships

Overall well-being

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HURIER Model

The letters in HURIER represents six interrelated listening processes:

Hearing Understanding Remembering Interpreting Evaluating Responding

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Personal listening filters

The HURIER model recognizes that people are constantly influenced by both internal and external factors that impact perception and interpretations.

External – environment, seating, temperature of the room, etc.

Internal – beliefs, values, attitudes, behaviors, etc.

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Understanding yourself as a listener: Self-concepts – a relatively stable

set of perceptions you hold of yourself that answers the questions – Who am I?

Self-Esteem – how you feel about yourself.

Self-Image – how you see yourself

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Understanding yourself as a listener: Self-monitoring – your awareness

of how your behavior affects another person within the context of a specific interaction and the degree to which you choose to modify your response based on that knowledge.

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High Self-Monitors High Self-monitor are concerned with the

appropriateness of their responses, may vary their communication behaviors significantly from one experience to another.

When uncertain about the appropriate response, the high self-monitor will look to the behaviors of others for guidance.

For example: if a high self-monitor went to the movies with friends she/he would be likely to laugh when their friends laugh, even though they may not find the movie funny.

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Low Self-Monitors

Low self-monitors rely more on their own values and feelings as guides in managing their behavior.

Low self-monitors communication is relatively consistent from one person to the next or one situation to the next.

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Perceptual Differences:

From the other person’s point of view – What do they see? Feel? Hear?

Each of us has a unique framework for viewing the world, a special set of crayons to color our visions.

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Perceptions includes:

Selection

Organization

Interpretation

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:

Rank Barrier 1. Listening primarily for details. 2. Distracted by external noise. 3. Daydreaming. 4. Thinking of another topic as

a result of something the

speaker said. 5. Lack of interest in subject.

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING: Rank Barrier 6. Concentrating on speaker's delivery or mannerisms, rather than message. 7. Becoming impatient with the speaker. 8. Disagreeing or arguing, inwardly or outwardly, with the speaker. 9. Trying to outline everything mentally 10. Faking attention

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NEW BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:

10. Rehearsing

Your whole attention is on designing and preparing your next comment.

You look interested, but your mind is going a mile a minute because you are thinking about what to say next.

Some people rehearse whole chains of responses: I'll say, then he'll say, and so on.

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:

11. Judging   Negatively labeling people can be extremely

limiting.

For example, if you prejudge somebody as incompetent or uninformed, you don't pay much attention to what that person says.

A basic rule of listening is that judgments should only be made after you have heard and evaluated the content of the message.

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:

12. Identifying

When using this block, you take everything people tell you and refer it back to your own experience.

For example, they want to tell you about a toothache, but that reminds you of your oral surgery for receding gums. You launch into your story before they can finish theirs.

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:

13. Sparring                                                               

This block has you arguing and debating with people who never feel heard because you are so quick to disagree. In fact, your main focus is on finding things to disagree with.

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:

14. Being Right

Being right means you will go to great lengths (twist the facts, start shouting, make excuses or accusations, call up past sins) to avoid being wrong.

You can't listen to criticism, you can't be corrected, and you can't take suggestions to change.

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING:

15. Placating

Right . . . Absolutely . . . I know . . . Of course you are . . . Incredible . . . Really? You want to be nice, pleasant, supportive. You want people to like you. So you agree with everything.

You may half-listen just enough to get the drift, but you are not really involved.

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING: 16. Self Focus  This barrier is the internal commentary and thoughts that

occupy our attention.   Things like “I wonder how long I am going to have to listen to

this lecture”, or “I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight” are examples of self focus.

To solve this problem: Become aware of the fact you are doing it.

As you become aware of the fact that you are drifting, concentrate on the speaker’s message.

Become actively involved in the communication process (provide feedback, listen, take notes, etc).

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GUIDELINES FOR BETTER LISTENING:

1. Desire to listen. 2. Focus on the message. 3. Listen for main ideas. 4. Understand the speaker's point

of view. 5. Withhold judgment.

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GUIDELINES FOR BETTER LISTENING: 6. Reinforce the message with

repetition, paraphrase, and

summary. 7. Provide feedback. 8. Listen with the body. 9. Listen critically, not

judgmentally.

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STUDENT AWARENESS LEVELS DURING LECTURES:

12% actively listening

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STUDENT AWARENESS LEVELS DURING LECTURES:

12% actively listening 20% paying attention

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STUDENT AWARENESS LEVELS DURING LECTURES:

12% actively listening 20% paying attention 20 % daydreaming, worrying,

thinking about food

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STUDENT AWARENESS LEVELS DURING LECTURES:

12% actively listening 20% paying attention 20 % daydreaming, worrying,

thinking about food 20% reminiscing

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STUDENT AWARENESS LEVELS DURING LECTURES:

12% actively listening 20% paying attention 20 % daydreaming, worrying,

thinking about food 20% reminiscing 8% religion

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STUDENT AWARENESS LEVELS DURING LECTURES:

12% actively listening 20% paying attention 20 % daydreaming, worrying,

thinking about food 20% reminiscing 8% religion 20% erotic thoughts

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