Reflections of a Grieving Spouse
Post on 02-Jan-2016
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The Unexpected Journey from Loss to Renewed Hope
H. Norman Wright
Presentation by Stephanie Warner
Reflections of a Grieving Spouse
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
GriefEmotions – Anger, Depression, Pain, Fear Recovery/Renewal
When have you experienced grief? What was the grief experience like for you?
DefinitionDisorderly process You aren’t alone…
Isaiah 53:3
What is Grief?
Loss in grief is not only physical, but also loss of presence
Secondary Losses Examples
Word AssociationAmputationLongingApathyYearningAche
Grief & Loss
Job asked…16 timesOthers asked too:
Psalm 10:1Psalm 13:1-2 Matthew 27:45
No answers Importance of remembering who we are and
who God is
Grief – why?
“crazy” feelings are actually a sane responseDistorted thinking patterns“crazy” or irrational thoughtsFearful thoughtsFeelings of despair & hopelessnessOut of control or numbed emotionsChanges in sensory perceptionIncreased irritabilityWant to talk a lot or not at allMemory lagsInability to concentrate
Symptoms of Grief
Obsessive focus on the loved oneLosing track of timeIncrease or decrease of appetite and/or sexual
desireDifficulty falling or staying asleepDreams in which the deceased exist Nightmares with death themesPhysical illness Shattered beliefs about life, the world, and God
Symptoms of Grief
Read/memorize scripture as you try to close your eyesProv. 3:24Prov. 3:24-26Psalm 63:6-7Psalm 94:19Psalm 4:8
Encouragement with sleep trouble
We don’t always need reasons! Reasons do not make the situation better or
more comfortableGrief has to happen with no boundaries of
time or location What do we need to know about our/others
time of suffering? Examples
Reasons for Grief
Why do we go through grief? What is the purpose? Through grief you express your feelings about
your loss.Express protest at the loss and a desire to
change what happened. Express the effects you have experienced from
the impact of the loss. Experience God in a new way that will change
your life. (Job 42:5)
Why Grief?
Common grieving reaction – feeling of displeasure, irritation, and protest
To whom is anger directed? YourselfDoctorsHospitalSpouseGod
Dealing with Anger ExamplesBreak apart anger and evaluate your thoughtsPsam 13:1-3, 5-6
Anger
Loss and Fear go hand in hand How will we survive? Cripples relationshipsImagine the worst Lead to total anxiety and dread
Identifying fearsFreedom from fears
1 Peter 5:7 Isaiah 26:3Philippians 4:6-9 Isaiah 41:10
Fears
Always a temptation to shut down when painful feelings come - can lead to depression
Paralyzing sense of helplessnessPassive and resignedEverything seems out of focusSeems to be no way outYou feel all alone Changes the way you see God
Depression & Grief
Christians can be depressed (not always brought on by sin)
Evaluating your feelings – 3 questionsWhat is it like when you feel depressed?Right now, what type of weather forecast best
describes where you are in the process of dealing with your loss?
Where on the scale would you place your current grief process? 4 stages
Dealing with Depression
Unresolved Grief
Make amends“Letting Go” letterCommunicate with your griefHelp others help you Let God surprise you JournalFarewell Letter
Moving On and Letting Go
To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total
detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.” – Erich Fromm
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