Looking Out/Looking In Fourteenth Edition 8 Communication and Relational Dynamics CHAPTER TOPICS Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Dynamics.
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Looking Out/Looking InLooking Out/Looking InFourteenth EditionFourteenth Edition
88Communication andCommunication andRelational DynamicsRelational Dynamics
CHAPTER TOPICSCHAPTER TOPICS
• Why We Form Relationships• Models of Relational Dynamics• Characteristics of Relationships• Communicating about Relationships
22COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form RelationshipsWhy We Form Relationships
• Appearance• Is especially important in the early stages• Partners create “positive illusions,” viewing
another as more attractive over time
• Similarity• We like people who are similar to us• Similarity is more important to relational
happiness than communication ability
33COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form RelationshipsWhy We Form Relationships
• Complementarily• Differences strengthen relationships when
they are complementary• Each partner’s characteristics satisfy the other’s
needs
• Reciprocal Attraction• We like people who like us – usually• People who approve of us, bolster our self-
esteem
44COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form RelationshipsWhy We Form Relationships
• Competence• We like to be around talented people• If a person is too talented it can be difficult to
be around them because they make us look bad
• Disclosure• Revealing information about yourself can help
to build liking• Not all disclosure leads to liking
55COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form RelationshipsWhy We Form Relationships
• Proximity• We are likely to develop relationships with
people we interact with frequently• Allows us to get more information about other
people and benefit from relationship
• Rewards• Social Exchange Theory
• Relationships that give us rewards greater than or equal to the costs of the relationship
66COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• A Developmental Perspective• Mark Knapp
• Rise and fall of relationships • Ten stages
• Other researchers• Coming together• Coming apart• Relational maintenance
77COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• Stages of Relational Development
Figure 8.1 Page 276
88COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship• Initiating
• Communication during this stage is usually brief• Usually follows a conventional formula
• Experimenting• After initial contact we decide if we wish to pursue
the relationship further• Uncertainty reduction
• The search for common ground
99COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship• Intensifying
• The interpersonal relationship begins to develop• The expression of feeling becomes more common
• Integrating• Parties begin to take on identity as a social unit• Partners begin to take on each other’s
commitments
1010COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship• Bonding
• Parties make symbolic public gestures• Commitment is increased during this stage
• Differentiating• The “We” orientation shifts back to “I”• The stage is likely to occur when the relationship
experiences its first feelings of stress
1111COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship• Circumscribing
• Communication decreases in quantity and quality• Restrictions and restraints
• Stagnating• No growth occurs• The relationship is a hollow shell of its former self
1212COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship• Avoiding
• Parties begin to create physical distance between each other
• Indirectly• Directly
• Terminating• Includes summary dialogue• Relationships don’t always move toward
termination in a straight line
1313COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• A Dialectical Perspective• Dialectical tensions
• Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously
• Several dialectical forces that make successful communication challenging
1414COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics
• A Dialectical Perspective• Dialectical tensions
• Connection versus autonomy• Openness versus privacy• Predictability versus novelty
1515COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational DynamicsModels of Relational Dynamics• A Dialectical Perspective
• Managing dialectical tensions• Denial• Disorientation• Alternation• Segmentation• Balance• Integration• Recalibration• Reaffirmation
1616COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Characteristics of RelationshipsCharacteristics of Relationships
• Relationships Are Constantly Changing• Rarely stable for long periods• A cycle in which partners move through a series of
stages
• Relationships are affected by culture• A variety of differences can make relationships
between people from different cultures challenging
1717COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Characteristics of RelationshipsCharacteristics of Relationships
• Relationships Are Affected by Culture• A variety of differences can make relationships
between people from different cultures challenging
1818COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Communicating about Communicating about RelationshipsRelationships
• Content and Relational Messages• Content Messages
• The subject being discussed
• Relational Messages• How the parties feel toward one another
• Types of Relational Messages• Affinity• Immediacy• Respect• Control
1919COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Communicating about Communicating about RelationshipsRelationships
• Metacommunication• Messages that people exchange, verbally or
nonverbally, about their relationship• Communication about communication• Important method for resolving conflicts in a
constructive manner• Can be used as a way to reinforce the
satisfying aspects of a relationship
2020COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICSCOMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Chapter ReviewChapter Review
• Why We Form Relationships
• Models of Relational Dynamics
• Characteristics of Relationships
• Communicating about Relationships
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