Empowering Your Child Presenters Ralph Whalen & Parents November 10, 2009 Welcome.

Empowering Your Child

PresentersRalph Whalen & Parents

November 10, 2009

Welcome

Intro

Theory & Class

Parent Q: What good messages..

Messages kids receive

What parents can do

Reasonable Expectations

When to be concerned

HandoutsNext SeminarsEvaluation

Meeting Overview

GoalsConnect with others.

Learn one idea about emotional health that will help you in your family.

Learn from each other.

Conflict within yourself

Pumsy, the puppet

Change the way you feel by changing the way you think

Guidance Topic

Something Bad HappensTo You

Feel Rotten(mud mind)

Is This What Happens?

Something Good HappensTo You

Feel Good

Is This What Happens?

Action HappensTO You

ABC Theory of Emotional Health

BeliefMud MindThinking

Action HappensTO You

ABC Theory of Emotional Health

BeliefMud MindThinking

Action HappensTO You

ConsequenceFeel Bad(In Mud Mind)

ABC Theory of Emotional Health

BeliefMud MindThinking

Action HappensTO You

ConsequenceFeel Bad,In Mud Mind

Action By You

(Unhealthy)

ABC Theory of Emotional Health

Action HappensTO You

Belief:Clear Mind Thinking

ABC Theory of Emotional Health

Action HappensTO You

Belief:Clear Mind Thinking

ConsequenceFeel Good(In Clear Mind)

ABC Theory of Emotional Health

Action HappensTO You

Belief:Clear Mind Thinking

ConsequenceFeel Good,In Clear Mind

Action By

You (Healthy)

ABC Theory of Emotional Health

Belief:Clear Mind Thinking

ConsequenceFeel Bad,(In Mud Mind)

Solution: Change Your Thinking

BeliefMud MindThinking

Belief:Clear Mind Thinking

ConsequenceFeel Bad,(In Mud Mind)

Solution: Change Your Thinking

BeliefMud MindThinking

Choose Diff

erent M

essage

Table Discussion QuestionIntroduce yourself

What messages have you or your child received that helped shape a positive self esteem?

Pumsy MessagesNegative Messages Positive

I am no good. VS I am capable. I can’t stand it. VS I can handle it.

I must be perfect. VS It’s Ok to make mistakes.

How Do Kids Get Messages?Said to them

Said to others

Observe

Where Do Kids Get Messages?Parents

Siblings

Relatives

Other adults

Other kids

Media

Need to protect younger children from damaging messages.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

What Else Can You Do?Model

Believe in child

Connect Child

Provide opportunities to contribute

Praise effectively

Say “No”

Correct Correctly

Provide Hope

Discussion Question?What are unreasonable expectations for this age group?

Reasonable ExpectationsNo too low

Not too high

Stairs method

Effort, not just outcome

Accept limitations

Partner QuestionWhen do children get in their mud minds?

Emotional Outburst: What To DoListen

Identify the feeling

Help problem solve

Use Clear Mind

Have faith in your child

When To Be ConcernedAvoids tasks or Quits

Makes excuses, cheats or lies

Change in behaviorschool performancerelationshipssleep patterns

Inability to concentrate

Emotionally unstable

Q & A

Handouts

Next Seminar: Wed, Dec 3“Responsibility: Give It To Get It”

Evaluation

Final Steps

ThankYou