Effective Parenting in a Defective World (Used as a presentation at the Brokenshire College of Toril Parenting Seminar 2012 & 2013)

BERNARDO L. PAÑARES

EFFECTIVE PARENTING

IN A DEFECTIVE WORLD

DIVINE DECREES TO

PARENTS

SEGMENT 1

Love the LORD your God with all your heart,with all your soul, and with all your strength.Take to heart these words that I give youtoday. Teach them to your children. Talkabout them when you're at home or away,when you lie down or get up. Write themdown, and tie them around your wrist, andwear them as headbands as a reminder. Writethem on the doorframes of your houses andon your gates.

DEUTERONOMY 6:1-9

DIVINE DECREES TO PARENTS

Deut. 6:1-9

…teach them

diligently to

your children”

“and these

Words…

…shall be

on your

hearts…

SEGMENT 2

Commit yourself to GIVE TIME to

your children

HAVE QUALITY TIME

WITH YOUR CHILDREN

HOW DO WE GIVE QUALITY

TIME TO OUR CHILDREN?

1.) DECIDE ON YOUR PRIORITY IN LIFE.

2.) MAKE SURE TO HAVE MEAL WITH YOUR

CHILDREN AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.

3.) PLAN FOR FAMILY VACATIONS AND

ACTIVITIES.

4.) AVOID OVER COMMITMENTS.

Ano ba talaga

ang mas

mahaga

sa iyo…

TrabahoTrabahoTrabahoTrabaho o o o o

PamilyaPamilyaPamilyaPamilya????

1.) DECIDE ON YOUR

PRIORITY IN LIFE.

2.) MAKE SURE TO HAVE MEAL WITH

YOUR CHILDREN AT LEAST ONCE A DAY

Compared to teens who

ate with their families five

to seven times a week,

teenagers who had fewer

than three family dinners

a week were almost four

times more likely to try

tobacco, more than twice

as likely to use alcohol

and 2.5 times more likely to use marijuana, according to new

information released by Columbia University's National Center

on Addiction and Substance Abuse.

3.) PLAN FOR FAMILY

VACATIONS AND ACTIVITIES.

4.) AVOID OVER COMMITMENTS.

“Parents, do not provoke

your children to anger, or

they will become

discouraged.”COL. 3:21

ENCOURAGE

1.) Show Faith

2.) Develop Self-Respect

a. Do not compare your children with others

b. Be enthusiastic about their interest

c. Look at their own merit.

d. Ask for their opinions/suggestions.

3.) Recognize Effort and Improvement

a. Focus on efforts not the achievements

b. Learn their limits

c. Give positive expectations

4.) Focus on the Strengths and Assets of your child

a. Be a talent scout of good behavior

b. Look at alternative ways of viewing the situation

HOW DO WE ENCOURAGE

OUR CHILDREN?

1. SHOW FAITH

�Mag Mag Mag Mag tiwalatiwalatiwalatiwala sasasasa kanilangkanilangkanilangkanilang kakayahankakayahankakayahankakayahan....

HOW DO WE ENCOURAGE

OUR CHILDREN?

2.) Develop Self-Respect

a. Do not compare your children with others.

b. Be enthusiastic about their interest.

c. Look at their own merit.

d. Ask for their opinions/suggestions.

3.) Recognize Effort and Improvement

HOW DO WE ENCOURAGE OUR

CHILDREN?

a. Focus on efforts not the achievements

b. Learn their limits

c. Give positive expectations

4.) Focus on the Strengths and Assets of your

child;

a. Be a talent scout of good behavior

b. Look at alternative ways of viewing the

situation

HOW DO WE ENCOURAGE

OUR CHILDREN?

AFFIRMATION

1.) Set a Good Example for them to follow.

(Ps. 101:2-3)

I will be careful to lead a life

that is without blame.

When will you come and help me?

I will lead a life

that is without blame in my house.3 I won't look at anything that is evil.

I hate the acts of people who aren't faithful to you.

I don't even want people like that around me.

1) WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

2) QUALITY TIME

3) RECEIVING GIFTS

4) ACTS OF SERVICE

5) PHYSICAL TOUCH

5 LOVE LANGUAGES

REBUKE & REBUKE & REBUKE & REBUKE &

DISCIPLINE YOUR DISCIPLINE YOUR DISCIPLINE YOUR DISCIPLINE YOUR

TEENSTEENSTEENSTEENS

Proverbs 19:18 (NLT)

Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.

Proverbs 13:24 (NIV)

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 23:13 (NLT)

Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them.

1. ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES

2. BE CONSISTENT

3. LET THEM

SUFFER THE

CONSEQUENCE

OF THEIR

WRONG-DOING.

5. DISCUSS ISSUES NOT

PERSONALITIES.

PROV. 19:18

1) Establish clear boundaries.

2) Be consistent.

3) Let them suffer the consequence of their wrong-doing.

4) Hate the sin but love the sinner.

5) Discuss issues not personalities.

6) Be firm but loving.

7) Give appropriate discipline.

8) Forgive and forget.

REBUKE & DISCIPLINE

YOUR CHILDREN

Two Ways of Training1) Training by Lips

2) Training by Life

ADOLESCENCE

A phase of life with major physical, emotional and behavioral changes.

The adolescent behavior alters the youngster’s relations and interaction patterns with others.

Most of the adolescents in these days are facing problems and getting into more and more troubles.

The Teen-ager’s Brain:

A work in progress

• The frontal lobe of the brain does the

bulk of its maturation between the

ages of 12 and 20.

• This region of the brain that supress

risky behavior is not fully formed until

the age of 25.

� Lack of common sense� Thinking that seems rigid� Decisions that seem irrational� Disorganization� Impulsiveness� Mood changes� Inadequate emotional control� Risk taking

BEHAVIOR

BEHAVIOR

RELATIONSHIPS

BELIEFS

VALUES

For I am constantly

aware of your unfailing

love, and I have lived

according to your truth.

PSALMS 26:3

NEW LIVING TRANSLATION

“Teach the truth in

love…”

EPHESIANS 4:15

RULES WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP

LEADS TO REBELLION

CASE STUDY:

MICHAEL JACKSON

“All I ever

wanted in life

was a

fathers love.”

So it becomes hard for them to live with

the truth of God’s word.

MOST OF OUR YOUNG PEOPLE NOWADAYS

FAILED TO SEE THAT UNFAILING LOVE

Oprah Winfrey?

Kris Aquino?

Lady Gaga?

Lady Batud? (Hahahaha!)

Justin Beiber?

WHO IS THE MOST INFLUENTIAL

PERSON FOR A TEEN-AGER TODAY?

�A father is a LEADER….

�Leadership is Influence (nothing more, nothing less)

�Due to lack of intimacy with our children

BUT FATHERS HAVE LOST THEIR

INFLUENCE

The Pressures of Living is Enormous

Two Ways of Training1) Training by Lips

2) Training by Life

The biggest trust is being entrusted with

a life. The biggest responsibility is to live

that trust throughout your life.

PARENTING IS TRUST

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

REFENCES

The Universe blossoms in the face of a child. By bringing out the best in your child, you bring out the best in the Universe.

PARENTING IS GARDENING

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

The sleepless nights, the career

sacrifices, the postponing of so many of

your own activities. The prize of

parenting comes at a price.

PARENTING IS

A LABOR OF

LOVE

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

From fire and sharp objects. From unkind

eyes. From negative thoughts and cruel

criticisms. From getting into deep waters.

From getting into a shallow life.

PARENTING IS PROTECTING

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

Gently and with love.

Understanding the intent of the child

before rushing to punish pay.

PARENTING

IS

CORRECTIN

G

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

And laughing. And making faces.

Singing together. Giving and receiving

hugs. Holding the child’s hand in

silence for a few moments before asking

“What is wrong, dear?” plans.

PARENTING

IS SMILING

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

Again and again. Month after month.

Year after year. And yet, never failing to

correct and connect.

PARENTING

IS

FORGIVING

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

Of a lifetime. Without expecting returns

of favor. With genuine sharing and

caring. With friendship bands. And

heartfelt bonds.

PARENTING

IS

FRIENDSHI

P

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

So that you can see the world from their

eyes. Feel their tears, live their smiles,

and understand their dreams.

PARENTING

IS BEING A

CHILD

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

Their peculiar tantrums. Tucking them

in the blanket in the middle of the night.

Their helping hand with heavy luggage.

And with some of life’s burdens.

PARENTING

IS

ENJOYING

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

Opening the gates when the time has

come. Showing them the way.

Being able to say “Goodbye! Wherever

you go, you will always be in my heart.”

PARENTING

IS LETTING

GO

http://www.thoughtperhour.com/

Happy Parenting!!

For hourly thoughts on various subjects, visit us at:http://www.thoughtperhour.com/