“You’re ruining my life!” Teen Independence

“You’re ruining my life!”

Teen Independence

By Nichole Banks

A teen starts to wonder if they are: Physically appealing Intelligent Popular Stylish

My kid’s grades dropped!

One out of every ten public high school students will fail one subject or an entire grade level each year.

An NIMH-sponsored study of 9- to 17-year-olds estimates that the prevalence of any depression is more than 6 percent in a 6-month period, with 4.9 percent having major depression.

Making excuses and threats

Making excuses for incomplete work:Will teach a teen that they should have

an excuse on why they cannot accomplish some of their goals and this behavior can continue into adulthood.

Threatening a teacher to increase a grade:

A teacher gives a student the grades that they earned.

Talk to the teacher calmly to see what steps can be taken (tutoring, study halls, etc.) to raise your child’s grade scores.

Questions??

Have you talked to your child lately? Sometimes a huge decline in grades is a scream for help.

WHY won’t our teen talk to us? Most teens want to communicate with their parents but get

frustrated when they never have an opportunity to talk.

What can we do?

“We are all given two ears and one mouth, to remind us that we should spend twice as much

time listening as talking.”

Ask.

Listen.

Understand.

How can I understand?

We all have been a teenager and went through that period of our lives. “Back in the day” we didn’t have all the same

issues or problems a teen deals with today. Even if we don’t understand everything they are

going through:▪ Make time to listen▪ Try to help them come to their own conclusions

Remember, sometimes an issue can be escalated in a teen’s mind because hormones are higher than they are used to.

Try to not use words “don’t”, “stop”, “never”, and “no” several times in a conversation. These words can make you sound like you’re “nagging”

and will keep a teen from talking.

Try to focus more on positive behavior If a teen is only noticed for misbehaving, they will try to

always “break the rules” to get attention.

Aren’t you proud? Acknowledge their accomplishments.

Negatives don’t make a positive.

Teenagers need to learn to accept responsibility for their own actions.

Teachers and parents want the same thing: Want them to excel academically Succeed as an adult

If your child’s grades are declining: Speak to the teacher and child in a calm manner▪ Learning disorders might need to be addressed or explored

Find a resolution that works for all parties

This helps the teen feel more involved and show them that everyone wants them to succeed.

References:

http://www.about-teen-depression.com/teen-depression.html

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/06/living/teachers-want-to-tell-parents/index.html

http://singleparents.about.com/od/parenting/ss/independence_7.htm

http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2010/07/5-mistakes-adults-make-communicating-with-teenagers/

http://www.womensforum.com/my-teen-is-failing-school.html