Session 7: X3pure Men’s Series Going Sober
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Session 7: X3pure Men’s SeriesGoing Sober
Going Sober
Going Sober
• We need to stop using the object of our addiction
Going Sober
• Self-Differentiation
Going Sober
• Self-Differentiation- An ability to see yourself as separate from those people or groups of people in your life who love you conditionally, which means that they don’t just love you for who you are (warts and all), but love you only if you act or behave in a certain way.
Going Sober
• Self-Differentiation- An ability to see yourself as separate from those people or groups of people in your life who love you conditionally, which means that they don’t just love you for who you are (warts and all), but love you only if you act or behave in a certain way.
Going Sober
- It is this concept of self-differentiation that is at the core of sexual addiction: an ability to remain in relationship with other people while remaining an individual with individual needs and desires without the need to act out sexually.
• Self-Differentiation- An ability to see yourself as separate from those people or groups of people in your life who love you conditionally, which means that they don’t just love you for who you are (warts and all), but love you only if you act or behave in a certain way.
Going Sober
- It is this concept of self-differentiation that is at the core of sexual addiction: an ability to remain in relationship with other people while remaining an individual with individual needs and desires without the need to act out sexually.
- Dealing with and managing the realities of those events and the people who did them to you may be more than you are capable of doing on your own.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
• You’re never going to get to the reality, or the Real Change side of recovery, if you don’t go sober and begin to touch, feel, and face the areas in your life where you received, or are receiving, conditional love and then start the process of creating new places in your life where there is unconditional love.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
• You’re never going to get to the reality, or the Real Change side of recovery, if you don’t go sober and begin to touch, feel, and face the areas in your life where you received, or are receiving, conditional love and then start the process of creating new places in your life where there is unconditional love.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
• This takes...
• You’re never going to get to the reality, or the Real Change side of recovery, if you don’t go sober and begin to touch, feel, and face the areas in your life where you received, or are receiving, conditional love and then start the process of creating new places in your life where there is unconditional love.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
- Time
• This takes...
• You’re never going to get to the reality, or the Real Change side of recovery, if you don’t go sober and begin to touch, feel, and face the areas in your life where you received, or are receiving, conditional love and then start the process of creating new places in your life where there is unconditional love.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
- Time- Effort
• This takes...
• You’re never going to get to the reality, or the Real Change side of recovery, if you don’t go sober and begin to touch, feel, and face the areas in your life where you received, or are receiving, conditional love and then start the process of creating new places in your life where there is unconditional love.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
- Time- Effort- Reflection
• This takes...
• You’re never going to get to the reality, or the Real Change side of recovery, if you don’t go sober and begin to touch, feel, and face the areas in your life where you received, or are receiving, conditional love and then start the process of creating new places in your life where there is unconditional love.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
- Time- Effort- Reflection- Working with other people
• This takes...
• You’re never going to get to the reality, or the Real Change side of recovery, if you don’t go sober and begin to touch, feel, and face the areas in your life where you received, or are receiving, conditional love and then start the process of creating new places in your life where there is unconditional love.
Key to Sexual Addiction Recovery
- Time- Effort- Reflection- Working with other people- Trusting other people
• This takes...
Zander’s Testimony
• Zander realized, for the first time, that his behavior with sex, pornography and alcohol had very little to do with sex, pornography, and alcohol, but instead had everything to do with the conditional love he experienced, and was still experiencing, with his father.
Zander’s Testimony
Zander’s Testimony
Zander’s Testimony
• The only way Zander was able to begin to start seeing the realities of his addiction and why he was acting out sexually was by going sober first.
Zander’s Testimony
• The only way Zander was able to begin to start seeing the realities of his addiction and why he was acting out sexually was by going sober first.
• In going sober, Zander was forced to face the real cause of his addiction with sex, porn, and alcohol.
Assignment
• Gather all the porn you still have access to and break it, shred it and burn it
Assignment
• Gather all the porn you still have access to and break it, shred it and burn it
Assignment
• Do it today
• Gather all the porn you still have access to and break it, shred it and burn it
Assignment
• Do it today
• List reasons why you want to go sober
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