Ws positive no

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

The Power of A Positive

Workshop on Exploring the Power in ‘No’!

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Workshop Objectives

Upon successful completion of the workshop participants will move towards greater

realization and appreciation of the life-skills involving assertiveness behavior and the

power of a Positive ‘No’- tools that will allow them lead more fuller lives,

realize their true calling in lives through optimizing individual potential.

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

“ A ‘No’ uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than

a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid

trouble”

-Mahatma Gandhi

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

‘No’ – Common connotation Negative

Aggressive

Non-compliant

Pessimistic

Reactive

Problematic

Avoidance

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

What kind of problems do people face when they can’t say ‘No’ to others’ demands, requests or situations that they would have otherwise done so?

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

What happens when you can say ‘No’ to others’ demands, requests that you think you should (being assertive about your views)?

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

In your opinion, where all could we use a Positive No?

1.

2.

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10.

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Individual Practice Activity:Some common daily-life scenarios where You couldn’t say ‘No’ but given a choice you’d rather do so :

< Participants are encouraged to look into personal and professional settings and come up with examples >

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Group Activity:In hindsight, think of the challenges that were at play….

< Participants to think over the reasons for the situation as mentioned in the last slide >

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Three ‘A’ Traps

AccommodateAccommodate

AttackAttack

AvoidAvoid

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Accommodateac·com·mo·da·tion (n) .

1. The act of accommodating or the state of being accommodated; adjustment.

2. Something that meets a need; a convenience.

Accommodate: We say Yes when we want to say No

(Unhealthy Yes)

Temporary buying of Peace

More of transactional, less relational

Out of fear

(adapted from The Free Dictionary-Farlex)

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Accommodate

Think over:

‘Far too many problems of today are the results of short-sighted solutions of yesteryears.’

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Attack

Attack – Saying NO poorly!

Opposite to Accommodate

Disregard for relationship

Driven by anger

Vengeance/ retaliation

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Attack

‘ Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech that you will ever regret ’

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Avoid

Ø We say nothing at all

Ø Avoidance

Ø Short term reaction

Ø A common approach in many personal and professional set ups

Ø Issue snowballs

Ø Indecision is a decision also!

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Avoid

‘ Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.’

-Martin Luther King Jr.

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Three ‘A’ Traps

Accommodate

AvoidAttack

A-trapA-trap

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

The way out: A Positive ‘No’

It challenges the common notion that in such cases either you can use authority (power) or relationship

It calls for

Engaging in a constructive confrontation!

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

A Positive ‘No’A Positive No is a

‘Yes! No. Yes?’

It begins with a Yes and ends with another Yes

The first ‘Yes’ expresses your interest

‘No’ establishes your choice/ power /authority ( to choose, express…)

The second ’Yes’ strengthens your relationship

A Positive ‘No’ tries to balance your Power and Relationship!

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

A Positive ‘No’

Position vs. Interest:

Position- a stated standpoint, view….a tangible outcome one argues for

Interest- a reason/ a set of reasons why that outcome might be desirable

Position• Fixed view-point

• Win-Lose• Short-term

• Transactional•Fixed sum game

Position• Fixed view-point

• Win-Lose• Short-term

• Transactional•Fixed sum game

Interest• Looks for options/ alternatives

• Win-Win• Long-term• Relational

•Expanding the pie

Interest• Looks for options/ alternatives

• Win-Win• Long-term• Relational

•Expanding the pie

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

The 1st ‘Yes’

The 1st ‘Yes’ in ‘Yes! No. Yes?’ stands for Yourself and whatever is important for you.

It stems from your Interest(s) and NOT position!

“ It’s easy to say ‘No!’ when a deeper ‘Yes!’ is burning inside.”-Stephen R. Covey

“ It’s easy to say ‘No!’ when a deeper ‘Yes!’ is burning inside.”-Stephen R. Covey

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

‘No’ in ‘Yes! No. Yes?’

Expresses your Power and Freedom to choose what is right for you based on the Interests

Protecting your ‘Yes’ yet Respecting others (Relationship)

Focused on the ‘issue’ and not the ‘person’- Separating ‘People’ from ‘Issues’

‘You stand on your feet, not on others toes’‘You stand on your feet, not on others toes’

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Separating People from Issues

‘Be hard on the issues, not the person.’ Observing the behavior not Judging the person

Objective and factual

Clear and to-the-point

No disrespect for the person

A manager to his colleague who has been consistently failing to improve his performance despite all promise and support -

‘ Ravi, as you know individual performance holds key for organizational and personal growth. We

agreed upon certain basic performance hygiene last month. Accordingly, the support extended to

you over past quarter were in-line with the identified needs and your requirement. However, your

quarterly de-growth continues for the successive past three quarters and it’s time you realize that

such results cannot go on and you must deliver without a miss! ’

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

The 2nd ‘Yes’It furthers the relationship

Reaffirms the intention to follow through the suggested alternatives

While the 1st ‘Yes’ is internally focused, the 2nd one is externally directed.

While the 1st ‘Yes’ is internally focused,

the 2nd one is externally directed.

While the 1st ‘Yes’ is internally focused,

the 2nd one is externally directed.

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

‘YNY’ in action:

An important Dr. who is a great supporter to your business makes a request to look into his spouse’s stay at the hotel during the forthcoming national congress of Cardiology and makes it clear to you that he expects positive response from your company. While he hints that he already has proposals from your competitors and this might force him to reconsider his long-standing support to your company……

You respond-

Dr. we do acknowledge and appreciate your valuable support to the business that really helps your patients live a better quality of life. Being a company that truly respects business integrity and ethical conduct we would do all that we can for your travel to the forthcoming national congress to present the clinical paper. However, we will not be able to do the same for your wife as it is not allowed in the organizational practice and I ‘m sure you’ll appreciate that. What’s interesting, however, is that we have recently got the advisory invitation from the headquarters to present and analyze the recent findings on….

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

A Positive ‘No’A Positive ‘No’ : ‘ Yes! No. Yes?’

YesYes

NoNo

YesYes

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

A Positive ‘No’ : Indian Mythology

An analogy with the Indian Trinity of Gods Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh

1st ‘Yes’: The Creator (Brahma) of your interests …many options or choices

‘No’ : The Protector (Vishnu) of your interests…saying no to competing Yes(es) – Your super-ordinate Goals!

2nd ‘Yes’: The (creative) Destructor (Mahesh) or change for a better alternative that the other party sees the merit in

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

‘ I sit there all day and look for investment proposals. I say NO, No, No, No, No, No, No-

until I see one that is exactly what I am looking for. And I say Yes. All I have to do is say

Yes a few times in my life and I’ve made my fortune.’

-Warren Buffet

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Three Steps to a Positive No

I. Uncover your deeper ‘Yes’- A Core interest / Value

- Express your Yes to others- Conviction about the ‘Yes’

II. Deliver a respectful ‘No’+ Be specific/ objective

+ Observing NOT Judging+ Empower your No with a plan B

III. Negotiate to a healthy ‘Yes’~ Facilitate a wise agreement

~ Maintains and furthers relationship~ Generates alternatives

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Individual Practice Activity

Reflect back on the scenario when you couldn’t say No to a given situation (Personal/

Professional) even though you wished you should do so……re-live those moments and

apply the ‘Yes! No. Yes?’ concept and deliver a Positive No.

- Participants are required to role-play the scenario in pair.

- Group to act as observers and provide feedback on application and

listening skills

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

Case-studies : analyze and present your action plan!

< Participants to analyze the given business case and apply themselves with the knowledge of the ‘Yes! No. Yes?’ tactics. >

04/08/23"Material is drawn from the book, 'The Power of a Positive No' (2007), by Dr. William Ury"

About Dr. William Ury

William L. Ury co-founded Harvard's Program on Negotiation and is currently a Senior Fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project. He is the author of /The Power of a Positive No/ How to Say No & Still Get to Yes (2007) / and co-author (with Roger Fisher) of /Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In/, an eight-million-copy bestseller translated into over thirty languages.

Over the last 30 years, Ury has served as a negotiation adviser and mediator in conflicts ranging from corporate mergers to wildcat strikes in a Kentucky coal mine to ethnic wars in the Middle East, the Balkans, and the former Soviet Union. With former president Jimmy Carter, he co- founded the International Negotiation Network, a non-governmental body seeking to end civil wars around the world.

My sincere thanks and appreciation for Dr. Ury for his

personal consent to use his material for the workshop!