8/15/13 1 Wives & Husbands I Peter 3:1-7 I Peter 3:1-7 1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Ephesians 5:21-33 21 Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Roles • Are not arbitrarily assigned • Not reversible without obscuring God’s purpose for marriage • Compared to the distinctive roles of Christ & His Church Ephesians 5:23-25 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her John Piper “When sin entered the world, it ruined the harmony of marriage, the relationship between Adam & Eve. Not because it brought headship and submission into existence, but because it twisted man’s humble, loving headship into hostile domination in some mean and lazy indifference in others. And it twisted woman’s intelligent, willing submission into manipulative obsequiousness in some women and brazen insubordination in others. sin didn’t create headship & submission, God did.”
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Wives & Husbands I Peter 3:1-7
I Peter 3:1-7 1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Ephesians 5:21-33 21 Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Roles • Are not arbitrarily assigned
• Not reversible without obscuring God’s purpose for marriage
• Compared to the distinctive roles of Christ & His Church
Ephesians 5:23-25 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
John Piper
“When sin entered the world, it ruined the harmony of marriage, the relationship between Adam & Eve. Not because it brought headship and submission into existence, but because it twisted man’s humble, loving headship into hostile domination in some mean and lazy indifference in others. And it twisted woman’s intelligent, willing submission into manipulative obsequiousness in some women and brazen insubordination in others. sin didn’t create headship & submission, God did.”
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Headship & Submission • Headship – divine calling of a husband to take
primary responsibility for Christ-like leadership, protection and provision in the home.
• Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor & respect, affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through.
I Peter 3:1-2
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
Submission Submission is not à • Agreeing with everything your husband says • Leaving your brain or will at the wedding altar • Avoiding every effort to change your husband • Putting the will of your husband before the will of
Christ • Receiving personal & spiritual strength primarily
through her husband • Acting out of fear
Submission
It is an attitude that says, “I delight for you to take the initiative in our family. I am glad when you take responsibility for things and lead with love. I don’t flourish in the
relationship when you are passive and I have to make sure the family works.”
Submission is à • Honor, respect & affirm your husbands
leadership • Help carry it through • Have the disposition to follow your husband’s
authority • Have an inclination to yield to his leadership
Headship & Submission
Goal of submission is REDEMPTIVE
I Peter 3:3-4 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
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What Peter is Communicating…
He’s not saying…à • Women shouldn’t take care of themselves • Women cannot braid their hair or wear jewelry.
He is saying…à • Outward things do not make the woman • True beauty is inward • Women should strive for a quiet and gentle spirit
I Peter 3:5-6 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
I Peter 3:7 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Husbands • An Understanding way
ü Know and understand your wife ü Lead as Christ leads and loves
• Showing honor ü Assign to our wives the honor being
precious and of high value ü Understand her physical limitations
Let’s Get Practical - Gals
God knew, even before Emerson Eggerichs, that men need respect and women need love
• Publicly affirm your husband
• Value & appreciate his work
• Don’t nag
• Initiate sex
• Pray for your husband
Let’s Get Practical - Guys
God knew, even before Emerson Eggerichs, that men need respect and women need love
• Need constant reassurances…every day
• Need to hear “I love you” and “I find you attractive”
• Physical responsiveness is tied to how well your wife feels love, care, heard and supported
• Need to be listened to without offering advice or solutions
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For Discussion • How have the Biblical roles of headship and
submission affected your marriage or dating relationships?
• Has there been tension in your relationships as a result of trying to live or ignore the Biblical roles?
• Have you ever resented your biblical role and the responsibility it places on you?
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