WILTON FRIENDS MEETING HANDBOOK Wilton Monthly Meeting 317 New Canaan Road Wilton, Connecticut 06897 203-762-5669 www.wiltonfriends.org Approved Dec. 13, 2015
WILTON FRIENDS
MEETING
HANDBOOK
Wilton Monthly Meeting
317 New Canaan Road
Wilton, Connecticut 06897
203-762-5669
www.wiltonfriends.org
Approved
Dec. 13, 2015
i
Table of Contents
Preface ................................................................................................ 1
Handbook Organization ...................................................................... 2
Process for Revision ............................................................................ 3
Historical Statement ........................................................................... 4
History of Quakerism .................................................................. 4
History of Wilton Friends Meeting ............................................. 4
History of Peace Activism at Wilton Friends Meeting ................ 6
History of Education at Wilton Friends Meeting ........................ 6
Monthly Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business .............. 8
Meeting Officers ............................................................................... 10
Clerk (Co-and/or Assistant) .......................................................... 11
Recording Clerk ............................................................................. 12
Recorder ....................................................................................... 13
Treasurer ...................................................................................... 15
Assistant Treasurer ....................................................................... 16
Standing Committees ....................................................................... 17
Advancement and Outreach ......................................................... 19
Connecticut Friends School Board of Directors ............................ 20
Finance.......................................................................................... 22
First Day School ............................................................................ 24
Hospitality (under Physical Stewardship Committee) .................. 25
House and Grounds (under Physical Stewardship) ...................... 26
Library Committee (under Physical Stewardship) ........................ 27
Long Range Planning..................................................................... 28
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Ministry and Oversight ................................................................. 29
Nominating ................................................................................... 31
Naming ......................................................................................... 32
Peace and Service ........................................................................ 33
Physical Stewardship .................................................................... 35
Yearly Meeting Representatives, Purchase Quarter Representatives,
and Others ....................................................................................... 36
Membership ..................................................................................... 38
Appendix (Forms) ............................................................................. 44
MONTHLY MEETING MEMBERSHIP RECORD ........................... 45
CERTIFICATE OF TRANSFER ...................................................... 47
INFORMATION AND INSTRUCTIONS ON FINAL AFFAIRS.......... 48
1
Preface
To the reader:
“Dearly beloved Friends, these things we do not lay upon you as a
rule or form to walk by, but that all, with the measure of light which
is pure and holy, may be guided: and so in the light walking and
abiding, these may be fulfilled in the Spirit, not from the letter, for
the letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life.”
Postscript to an epistle to the ‘brethren in the north’
issued by a meeting of the elders at Balby, 1656.
“Tradition usually represents the judgment and testing of time and it
is well to evaluate thoroughly and carefully any radically new
departure.”
New York Yearly Meeting Faith and Practice
The purpose of this manual is to provide a basic foundation for the
good order of the Wilton Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society
of Friends by outlining the organizational structure of the Monthly
Meeting, its officers and committees and its relations to other
Friends’ and community bodies. The Faith and Practice (2015) of
the New York Yearly Meeting serves as a guide for Discipline for
this Monthly Meeting. It also informs F/friends about committee
responsibilities that they need to fulfill once they join that
committee.
2
Handbook Organization
This handbook is comprised of three main sections:
1) An introduction, including 1) Process for Revision, Historical
Statement, and Monthly Meeting for Worship with a Concern
for Business;
1) Descriptions of Meeting positions, committees and
representatives;
2) Guidelines for Membership under the care of the Meeting;
3) Forms from New York Yearly Meeting’s “Faith and
Practice.”
3
Process for Revision
Ministry & Oversight Committee is responsible for maintaining the
handbook. Any officer or committee clerk may bring forward to
Ministry &Oversight a proposed revision to the Handbook. After
review and prayerful consideration, M&O will bring the proposed
revisions to Meeting for Worship with Concern for Business for
approval.
Each year that changes are approved, the revised Handbook should
go to the Recorder, who will publish the approved, revised
Handbook.
4
Historical Statement
History of Quakerism
Most worship groups of the Religious Society of Friends (often
called Quakers) are organized as monthly meetings. They are so
called because they meet for worship with a concern for business
once a month; their other gatherings for worship are normally held
each First Day (known to non-Quakers as Sunday.).
The Religious Society of Friends was founded by George Fox in
England in the mid-seventeenth century. He and other early Friends
were deeply grounded in the Christian tradition and the Bible. But
their chief emphasis was upon the Living Christ, a spirit believed by
them to be immediately present in all human beings and also called
the “Seed of God” or the “Inner Light.”
Quakerism by 1700 was widespread in the British Isles, though
Quakers were severely persecuted until 1688. Also they had come to
the American colonies, notably Pennsylvania, which was founded
1681 by the Quaker William Penn as a haven to Friends and other
persecuted religious groups. The movement went westward in
America along with the frontier. Now there are Friends’ meetings or
worship groups in all states in the United States, as well as in
Canada, Europe, Africa, Japan, Latin America and elsewhere.
History of Wilton Friends Meeting
Gatherings of persons interested in Friends were first held at the
home of Henry Fraad in Weston in 1938. Beginning Twelfth Month
7, 1941, meetings for worship after the manner of Friends were held
regularly, first at Henry Fraad’s and later at different places in
Norwalk, Westport and New Canaan. In Seventh Month, 1942, the
group became the Weston Preparative Meeting under the care of
Purchase Monthly Meeting. In Fifth Month, 1947, Purchase
Quarterly Meeting accepted the group as one of the constituent
monthly meetings under the name of Fairfield County Monthly
Meeting. Because other Friends’ meetings had arisen in Fairfield
County by 1957, the name was changed in that year to Wilton
Monthly Meeting.
5
Weston Preparative Meeting, July 1942, Henry Fraad’s home (Henry
Fraad is the tall gentleman in a white shirt to right of sign.)
In 1949 a gift by Gayer and Eleanor Dominick of five acres of land
in Wilton was gratefully accepted. On it the first section of the
present meeting house was completed in December, 1952. Another
section, including the present meeting room, was finished in 1954.
An extension of the First Day School and social area in 1964-65
brought the building to its present form.
6
History of Peace Activism at Wilton Friends Meeting
Quakers have always opposed war and preparation for war. Perhaps
Wilton Monthly Meeting’s most important action in relation to wider
Quakerism was the adoption in 1960 of a minute which was
submitted to and approved by New York Yearly Meeting. The text
follows:
A TESTMENT OF PEACE BY WILTON MONTHLY MEETING
It is now 300 years since Friends first declared “we cannot
learn war anymore.” Now as then, the spirit of Jesus Christ
can never move us to violence, neither in personal conflict
nor in public life. His way is opened by that of God in
every man; and by the helping hand of God available to all.
Today His way can save the world. Though every
individual owes loyalty to the state, he owes higher loyalty
to the authority of the inner light that is of God.
And so with special urgency we invite all who hear to
utterly renounce war—now the real and final enemy of
man—and daily to seek ways to practice the life that knows
no occasion for war, and to learn the ways of peace without
which all men perish.
Consistent with this position, WMM has been and is deeply engaged
in many causes related to peace, resistance to war, and striving for a
better social order. From the efforts of the sewing group, the
“Hiroshima Maidens,” the anti-draft movement, the Sanctuary
Movement when we sponsored a Guatemalan family, to the present-
day movement against the death penalty or anti-gun violence, Wilton
Meeting has stood up for looking for the Spirit Within rather than
outward strife.
History of Education at Wilton Friends Meeting
A First Day School is one of Wilton Monthly Meeting’s important
activities. From its very beginnings, there has been a committee
devoted to educating the children of our meeting. The number of
children fluctuates, from few to fifty, and at one point overwhelmed
the meeting to the point of having to hire a First Day School
Director. For the most part, however, Wilton Meeting has taught its
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many children a well-thought-out program, instilling Quaker values
with current events and some biblical stories.
Since 1956 the building has also been used for a nursery school
under the care of the meeting. It was called the Helen Gander
Friends Nursery School in memory of a Wilton Friend who was very
instrumental in the founding of the meeting and of the nursery
school. Marjorie Walton was head of the nursery school for many
years until she retired in 1996. Since then, Maureen Jackson, who
was one of the teachers, has taken on that position. In June, 2012, the
Friends Nursery School merged with Connecticut Friends School
when Maureen Jackson retired.
Connecticut Friends School began in September, 1998, founded by a
group of parents anxious to give their children a Quaker education
that was more formal than the home-schooling they had formerly
been given. Wilton Meeting approved, and agreed to take the school
under its care. The first classes were held on September 8, 1998, for
five children with one teacher, with Kim Tsocanos as Head of
School. Classes were held in the Meeting Room. By 2011, with Kim
Tsocanos and Mark Dansereau as co-Heads of School, Connecticut
Friends School had grown to about 60 students in grades K-8 held in
two modular school buildings on Meeting grounds. In 2014, CFS, the
school Mark characterized as “a jewel amonsst schools in this area
because it is an intimate environment where everyone is known and
supported,” received “reaccreditation with distinction” from the
Connecticut Association of Independent Schools (CAIS). Despite
these successes, by 2015, the recession had taken its toll. At the end
of that school year, the Board of Directors was forced by declining
enrollment to limit the size of the school to the preschool, ages 2-5.
Stacey Mink became the Friends Preschool Director and plans were
made to obtain State Licences and move the preschool into Hastings
Hall.
8
Monthly Meeting for Worship with a
Concern for Business
The basic unit in the Religious Society of Friends is the monthly
meeting. It has as its primary concern the meeting for worship.
In the transaction of business the same reverent waiting upon the
Lord should prevail as in meetings for worship. Friends should give
patient and sympathetic consideration to all proposals and expression
of opinion. We reach decisions through a sense of the meeting rather
than by vote.
The Monthly Meeting receives, transfers, and dismisses members;
provides for the oversight of marriages and funerals, and treats in a
spirit of restoring love those who depart from Friends’ principles and
testimonies. It collects funds necessary for the work of the meeting;
holds and administers real estate and other property for the use of the
meeting; appoints members and committees for special service and
considers and approves their reports. The individual member and the
group are strengthened in faith and practice by prompt and regular
attendance at these meetings. Queries and advices should be read at
frequent intervals.
There should be a willingness to speak or be silent as led. Friends
should rely on the power of the spirit of truth and seek to keep their
speech simple and straightforward. If the meeting is to reach a group
decision, participants need considerable personal discipline and an
allowance for humble or tentative conclusions.
A meeting for business should remain close to divine guidance, and,
if Friends show no clear direction on a matter or lose their leading
and wander off into argument, a period of silent waiting on God can
show the way. The words of those who speak after prayerful
consideration have a different quality and purpose from words
uttered in dispute. It is Quaker custom, too, for persons who have
once expressed their views clearly and adequately not to address the
meeting again.
9
When a meeting cannot unite upon a minute, the old policy remains
unchanged, and the subject is dropped or deferred.
Our usual practice is that officers and committees having items
requiring action put those action items on the agenda; those having
reports not requiring action submit those reports for attachment to
the minutes.
Although Friends’ business procedure frequently requires more time
and patience than voting, the results are generally more satisfactory
to all concerned. One may not find it easy to give way to someone
else or another point of view, but when the Sprit of God is moving in
a meeting, Friends are awakened to a new revelation of truth.
Friends may adjourn a session of a monthly meeting and continue it
at a later date. Special meetings of the monthly meeting can be
called by either the clerk, or the assistant clerk or upon the request of
three members. The clerk shall give notice at a regular meeting for
worship at least seven days prior to the date of holding the special
meeting.. This notice should identify the business to be considered
and the persons calling for the special meeting. No business may be
considered at a special meeting other than that for which it was
called. Each monthly meeting should define a quorum for the
transaction of business in its special sessions.
Learn to trust Quaker process to work and leave the outcome to the
Spirit.
For an expanded, more complete discussion of this subject see “Faith
and Practice: The Book of Discipline of the New York Yearly
Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends,” section on
Organization and Business Procedure.
10
Meeting Officers
Terms of officers are for one year, beginning Seventh Month 1 and
ending Sixth Month 30.
11
Clerk (Co-and/or Assistant)
Membership: The Clerk must be a member of the Wilton Monthly
Meeting. The meeting generally appoints two people to take on the
responsibilities of clerking the meeting. This may be a clerk and
assistant clerk, or two co-clerks as led.
Term: The Clerk is elected for a one-year term (renewable).
Duties:
Primary:
To guide the conduct of the monthly business meeting:
working with committee clerks to set an agenda, then
leading the meeting business through listening for a sense of
the meeting and offering minutes for meeting approval. The
clerk needs to remain objective and neutral.
To gently lead Friends out of meeting for worship by
requesting “after-thoughts,” identifying newcomers to be
welcomed, and managing announcements of upcoming
events.
To sign necessary meeting documents.
To attend all other committee meetings as led.
Secondary:
To organize the meeting mail.
To reply to the meeting phone messages.
To initiate the meeting phone tree or email listserv.
To liaison with other clerks in the Quarter.
To deal with other business that must come before the
meeting.
If an assistant clerk is appointed, that officer has such duties as may
be delegated by the clerk. In the absence of the clerk the assistant
clerk conducts meetings for worship with a concern for business. In
the absence of either clerk, the meeting shall appoint a clerk-of-the-
day among those present.
12
Recording Clerk
Membership: The Recording Clerk is not required to be a member
of Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Term: Elected to one-year term (renewable)
Duties:
To take accurate notes and minutes of the monthly meeting
for business.
To send these to the newsletter editor, the recorder and web
master for posting.
Recommended is a pamphlet called Unforeseen Joy: Serving a
Friends Meeting As Recording Clerk, by Damon Hickey, It is
described by the FGC bookstore as an excellent and delightful guide
for recording clerks, full of practical advice with a spiritual basis.
Although written in 1987, it is still worthy of perusal by any
beginning recording clerk for its many helpful guidelines.
13
Recorder
Membership: The Recorder is not required to be a member of
Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Term: Elected to one-year term (renewable)
Duties:
To keep accurate records of the meeting members, including
births, deaths, marriages, accepted membership applications
and transfers. Membership records should be kept on
meeting membership sheets on acid-free paper, one for each
member. When membership is ended by removal, death, or
otherwise, that membership sheet should be removed to a
separate binder.
To update New York Yearly Meeting of any membership
changes, so the changes can be made in the Spark mailing
list and for publication in the Notices column. This includes
marriages, new members, transfers in and out, deaths, and
address changes. Notices of births may be sent to the Yearly
Meeting office for publication in Spark, whether or not the
baby is a member of the meeting. Marriages are also
announced at the wish of the meeting and the parties
involved.
To keep an updated mailing list of all members and
attenders, with the aid of the directory publisher.
To publish the revised, approved Handbook each year when
significant changes are made to the WMM Handbook,.
The Monthly Meeting recorder is also responsible for the
Statistical Report of the members of the meeting, based on
the official records. The New York Yearly Meeting office
sends a printout of this annual report to each Monthly
Meeting Recorder for changes and corrections in May.
To enter the Minutes in the Minute Book kept in the Library.
The Recorder is responsible for permanent preservation of
Meeting’s minutes,.
14
To send, on acid-free paper, a complete set of minutes to
Swarthmore every ten years. The address is:
Friends Historical Library Swarthmore College
500 College Avenue
Swarthmore, PA 19081
Phone: (610) 328-8496
Fax: (610) 690-5728
Email: [email protected]
More detailed information is available in the NYYM “Faith &
Practice.” (pp.97-98, 2014 edition.
15
Treasurer
Membership: The Treasurer should be a member of Wilton
Monthly Meeting. Exceptions have been made in the past.
Term: Appointed to one-year term (renewable)
Duties:
To keep accurate financial records of the Meeting including
all receipts, disbursements and other financial transactions.
To work with the auditor to assure that the books are in order
and that accepted accounting practices are being used.
To maintain appropriate checking, saving, and investment
accounts in institutions approved by the Monthly Meeting.
To pay all bills and financial obligations from Meeting funds
in a timely manner, including the annual Quarter and Yearly
Meeting contributions.
To collect all contributions and other income and deposit
these funds in the Meeting bank account in the absence or
incapacity of the Assistant Treasurer.
To keep records for annual tax receipts to contributors and to
send annual tax acknowledgement letters to contributors.
To prepare monthly, quarterly and annual financial
statements.
To report to meeting for worship with a concern for business
at least quarterly and more often as need arises.
To prepare an annual budget, working with finance
committee and committee clerks, and submitting it to
business meeting in May for approval in June.
To serve on the Finance Committee.
16
Assistant Treasurer
Membership: The Assistant Treasurer is not required to be a
member of Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Term: Elected to one-year term (renewable)
Duties:
To collect all cash contributions and other income to the
Meeting and deposit these funds in the Meeting bank
account.
To provide a record of the deposit detail to the Treasurer for
recording in the Meeting financial records.
To perform the duties of the Treasurer in the absence or
incapacity of the Treasurer,
To serve on the Finance Committee.
17
Standing Committees
The descriptions of our “Standing Committees” include their
functions, qualifications for membership, and length of service.
Committee terms begin Seventh Month 1 and end Sixth Month 30.
Certain committees may have multi-year appointments. This
provides continuity and lets members follow their interests and
leadings.
At the beginning of each annual term a convener is appointed by
Nominating Committee to hold the first meeting. The first order of
business of every committee is to choose its clerk and report its
clerk’s name to the clerk or co-clerks of the meeting. Also, the first
meeting should be a joint meeting with out-going/incoming members
for continuity sake.
Any committee, except Nominating, is free to add, besides its
regularly appointed members, any other Meeting member, associate
member, or regular attender who shows sufficient interest, is willing
to attend meetings, perform committee duties, and bring specific
gifts to the work of the committee. A co-opted member will serve for
the remainder of that year.. It is important that such co-opting be the
considered decision of the full committee and not a casual invitation
from the committee clerk.
The act of co-opting is recorded in the committee’s minutes and
communicated to the clerk of the Meeting and the clerk of the
Nominating Committee. Nominating will report to the next Business
session. The Nominating Committee can look at the discharge of
responsibilities by co-opted members to find candidates for regular
appointments to a committee. (Minute approved in 7/07)
Changes in committee membership and officers will be reported to
Nominating so that Nominating will be able to report to business
sessions and record the changes. Changes to the nominating slate
will be published in the newsletter.
Friends are reminded that, following good Quaker practice, we are to
take minutes for all of our committee meetings. (2000-08-04)
Committees are asked to keep records of their meetings and store
copies of their minutes in archival binders in the library. (02-11-03)
18
In general, the number of members on any committee is optimized
for a balance of efficiency and continuity of expertise. Large
committees can become unwieldy when trying to achieve unity, and
small committees can suffer “brain drain” when inexperienced
members join when seasoned members end their terms. The “golden
number” for membership on committees appears to be 6, with
staggered membership terms. (Note in Business Meeting Minutes of
June 2005)
New York Yearly Meeting’s “Faith and Practice” specifies that
Ministry and Oversight, Finance, Advancement, and Nominating
Committees shall include only members of the Meeting. Wilton
Monthly Meeting has occasionally appointed Meeting attenders to
these committees upon approval of the Meeting.
19
Advancement and Outreach
Membership: Traditionally three people, members or attenders.
Term: Friends and attenders are appointed for three-year terms.
Duties: To publish a monthly newsletter; both electronically through
the listserv and to have paper copies available to those not on email.
At least one person is also needed to be a webmaster.
The newsletter is the main communication vehicle of
meeting and captures all news and goings-on.
The newsletter traditionally has a calendar of meeting
events, including when committees meet. It also contains the
minutes of the last Meeting for Business.
It often has a feature article and contains key updates and
events from Quarterly and Yearly Meeting.
One person serves to take the newsletter and get paper
copies printed for those not on email and to send to non-local
members.
The webmaster is responsible for maintaining an up-to-date
email list for our listserv as well as up-to-date content on our
website.
Public relations and outreach—this might include signs
indicating where to find WMM, PR for local newspapers,
publicizing events at meeting and any other ways that we
can share the gifts and programs of WMM with the broader
community.
20
Connecticut Friends School Board of
Directors
Membership: There shall be at least a total of five directors and up
to fifteen, but always a majority will be Quakers. Since CFS is under
the care of WMM, some of the members shall be members or
attenders of WMM.
Terms: 3 years, rotating.
Purpose: CFS Corporation is established to conduct, operate and
maintain an independent, not-for-profit, co-educational school and
learning center for members of the Wilton Monthly Meeting and
like-minded individuals and families in the surrounding
communities. CFS is open to people of all ethnic, religious and racial
backgrounds and functions in keeping with Friends (Quaker)
philosophy and under the care of WMM of the Religious Society of
Friends.
Duties:
The affairs of the corporation shall be managed by the Board
of Directors.
It is expected that all Directors will be active and regular in
their involvement with policy matters and attendance to
Board matters, fulfilling their obligations as officers and/or
as participants in committee assignments.
A Director is knowledgeable about, and actively promotes
the school’s missions, vision, strategic goals and policies.
A Director articulates and supports the Quaker identity and
character of the school.
A Director makes giving to the annual fund, as well as
participation in capital campaigns, a philanthropic priority at
an individually appropriate level.
Each Director, not just the treasurer and finance committee,
has a fiduciary responsibility for the stewardship of the
school’s financial stability and future.
A Director stays fully informed about current operations and
matters relevant to the board’s ongoing agenda. Come to
meetings well prepared and participate.
21
A Director has the responsibility to support the school and
its head, takes time to visit the school periodically, is active
on at least one committee, and attends school functions.
Authority is vested in the board as a whole, and not in
individual Directors.
The board sets policy and focuses on long-range and
strategic issues. Individual directors should not become
directly involved in the day-to-day operations of the school.
A Director is knowledgeable about Friends’ decision-making
practice.
A Director supports board decisions. Bring your concerns to
board committees and board meetings; concerns shared
elsewhere have destructive potential.
A Director keeps all board deliberations confidential,
although decisions may be made public.
A Director takes care to separate the interest of the school
from the specific needs of a particular child or constituency.
A Director guards against conflict of interest, whether
personal or business-related. Any potential conflicts of
interest are made known to the Board.
22
Finance
Membership: Traditionally all are members of the Wilton Monthly
Meeting. The treasurer serves ex officio on the Finance Committee.
Term: Elected for three-year terms; three to five members, with
rotating terms.
Duties:
The Finance Committee is responsible for making recommendations
to meeting that impact our financial health. For example, they
work with Quarterly Meeting to recommend our share of
Yearly Meeting contributions.
also send reminder letters 2-3 times per year for
member/attender donations and in January send thank-you
letters for donations received (tax receipts).
coordinate with the Connecticut Friends School finance
committee to agree on equitable contributions to the meeting
and the sharing of expenses.
examine and monitor the long-range financial health of the
meeting.
ensures that the financial reports for presentation to the
monthly meeting are both timely and accurate.
prepare the annual budget together with input from the
Treasurer.
discuss major expenses.
maintain watch over Wilton Monthly Meeting’s accounts in
socially-responsible vehicles.
recommend the amount of money at year’s end for the
meeting’s capital fund.
Auditor position will be eliminated, with the audit function
being taken over by the Finance Committee. Audits will
occur after the first year of service by any Treasurer, and at
23
the end of every Treasurer’s tenure, but there will be no
more than five years between audits. (2015-05-01)
Property Coordinator: Responsible for responding to and
negotiating rentals of the property by people outside of Wilton
Monthly Meeting. Reports to Finance Committee on an ad hoc basis.
(2015-05-05)
24
First Day School
Membership: First Day School committee members are not
required to be members of Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Term: Elected for three-year terms. Traditionally 3-6 people serve
on the committee.
Duties: The FDS committee is responsible for:
Setting curriculum and organizing teachers to run our
weekly First Day School.
Maintaining regular attendance records (important for
potential Conscientious Objector status).
If large numbers of children participate regularly, we may
organize age groups for the children and will develop an
age-appropriate curriculum for each age group.
The committee members are not always teachers. We reach
out to all meeting members for their gifts in this area.
A typical First Day is as follows: first 15-20 minutes all children in
meeting for worship; then the FDS leaves and has a circle of sharing
in the back FDS room, during which you go around the circle with
your name and a shared thought. Then the groups break for study in
their age groups. Finally FDS comes back into meeting for
afterthoughts.
The annual opening and closing of the FDS year is celebrated at
Hospitality with a community gathering organized by the children.
(Ice cream is always welcomed.)
On summer First Days, the children are cared for by adult volunteers
who may organize informal opportunities.
25
Hospitality (under Physical
Stewardship Committee)
Membership: Members of Hospitality Committee are not required
to be members of Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Terms: Appointed for one-year terms (renewable)
Duties: The committee is responsible for food and beverages at all
social occasions initiated by the Monthly Meeting for Business.
Hospitality Committee seeks to:
Encourage friends to sign up on the sheet for volunteering to
provide the refreshments after meeting for worship
Provide staples in the kitchen: coffee, tea, napkins, cups, etc.
Those volunteering for refreshments may be reimbursed by the
Treasurer/Assistant Treasurer or may get acknowledgment of their
contribution for tax deduction purposes.
All supplies needed by the Hospitality Committee are to be
purchased through the Treasurer/Assistant Treasurer and there is a
portion of the budget set aside for this purpose.
Any committee that holds a social occasion assumes the
responsibility for providing refreshments, set up, and clean up.
In the event of a memorial service or wedding, hospitality and M&O
will work together taking responsibility for memorial services, which
includes coordinating with hospitality for set up, refreshments,
logistics and cleanup.
26
House and Grounds (under Physical
Stewardship)
Membership: Members of House and Grounds Committee are not
required to be members of Wilton Monthly Meeting
Terms: Appointed in rotation for three-year terms; usually 5-8
people.
Duties: This committee oversees the care of our building and five
acres of land. It is charged with:
Maintaining the property.
Evaluating annual contracts for building services: fuel oil,
electricity, phone, plowing, and security.
Purchasing other needed supplies.
Employing and properly compensating a janitor.
Recommending improvements.
Overseeing new construction.
Ensuring fire codes are met and the buildings conform to all
safety standards (e.g., replacing smoke detector batteries 2
times a year).
Organizing two work days each year, one in the fall and
one in the spring, during which members and attenders
perform needed tasks to help maintain the property.
Maintaining a calendar of when the Meetinghouse is in use.
Conducting an annual audit of the physical plant.
27
Library Committee (under Physical
Stewardship)
Membership: Members of Library Committee are not required to be
members of Wilton Monthly Meeting
Terms: Appointed in rotation for three-year terms, three people.
Duties: In the meeting’s Felix Korman Library are histories of
Quakerism, biographies and writings of Friends, copies of various
Disciplines, Pendle Hill pamphlets, various translations of the Bible,
and other religious works. The library committee is responsible for:
Keeping records of books borrowed.
Twice annually reviewing the library books and circulation
including a recommendation for any new purchases of both
books and magazines.
Purchasing books with funds provided in the budget.
Accepting bequests and other donations of books suitable for
the library. After every NYYM Summer Session, the Mosher
Fund donates two books, usually chosen by Ty Griese,
which we accept with gratitude.
Purchasing materials for the pamphlet rack in the vestibule,
to be available free or at nominal cost.
Maintaining the library in a clean and orderly manner.
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Long Range Planning
Membership: Members of Long Range Planning Committee are not
required to be members of Wilton Monthly Meeting. Meetings are
open to all interested people who are willing to give of their time and
work efforts.
Terms: Appointed for three-year terms.
Duties: To work with various meeting committees and ultimately
the whole meeting to develop a five-year plan that addresses five
long-range plan areas:
1. Physical Plant—A plan for the maintenance, improvement,
and expansion of Wilton Monthly Meeting buildings and
land.
2. Financial Plan—A plan to raise the necessary funds to pay
for the items in the 5-year plan.
3. CFS Coordination—Being mindful that CFS is under the
care of the Meeting, ensure that the Wilton Monthly
Meeting’s long-range plan aligns with the Connecticut
Friends School long range plan.
4. Outreach—Set out plans for increasing the number of
meeting’s members and attenders to include adults as well as
children/families.
5. Committee Structure—Are our meeting committees
structured effectively to support this five year long range
plan?
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Ministry and Oversight
Membership: Wilton Meeting first tries to appoint members of the
meeting. Attenders identified as having certain gifts may be
appointed.
Term: Members serve a 3-year term with the end of the terms
overlapping such that they are staggered. This committee may have
up to nine members with six being a recommended minimum.
Duties: This committee’s work is of crucial importance because
Wilton Monthly Meeting, unlike other religious bodies and some
other Friends’ meetings, does not have a paid pastor. This
committee is responsible for nurturing the spiritual health of our
meeting, the pastoral care of its members and attenders, and for
coordinating with the Quarter and other meetings when requested.
The Ministry & Counsel Committee and the Overseers Committee
have been combined into one committee and their functions include:
Fostering the spiritual growth of the meeting membership
and enhancing the religious life and fellowship, including
especially the supervising and strengthening of corporate
worship of the meeting.
Receiving and overseeing applications for membership,
transfer, resignation, and disownment.
Having responsibility for all covenant relationships under the
care of the meeting.
Overseeing the spiritual care of Connecticut Friends School,
specifically meeting with their Board every fall.
Overseeing the discretionary fund, which is used for
confidential matters to support our community.
Responding to requests for scholarship monies to attend
spiritual workshops and/or Summer Sessions.
Taking responsibility for memorial services, including
coordinating with Hospitality in setting up refreshments and
cleaning up. M&O also takes responsibility for writing
memorial minutes as deemed appropriate.
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At the request of the clerk(s), considering larger questions or
concerns rising out of activities of the Meeting.
Considering individual needs for guidance and making
provision for personal counsel and assistance in matters of
interpersonal relationships among members, and in
individual and family problems pertaining to illness,
financial matters, marital relations, and decisions of
conscience; and, where appropriate, to recommend
professionally-trained counsel for especially difficult
problems.
Annually reviewing the spiritual health of the Meeting and
preparing a State of the Meeting report each January
responding to the queries provided by the New York Yearly
Meeting. The report should be presented to Meeting for
Business for review in February and approved in March. It
will be subsequently submitted to NYYM.
Developing programs related to adult religious education,
including Quaker 101, study groups, and special meetings
for the purpose of addressing Friends’ spiritual concerns and
nurturing the spiritual condition of members and attenders.
Calling on members or regular attenders, especially if they
are unwell or in special need.
Ensuring the presence of a greeter on First Day who reaches
out to all new attenders and visitors on the day they attend.
The greeter also breaks Meeting for Worship.
Seeking to rekindle the interest of members who do not
attend regularly. Annual correspondence/outreach with all
non-resident members. Those not replying after three years
may be recommended to monthly meeting for
discontinuance of membership.
For additional description of duties and responsibilities,
please refer to the New York Yearly Meeting Handbook.
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Nominating
Membership: Committee members are not required to be members
of Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Term: 3-year terms; four to six people
Duties: This committee is responsible for reaching out to meeting
members and attenders and seeing where each is led to serve. While
there is urgency for people to work on committees, members could
be reminded of the joy of community building that can come from
committee work.
Nominating can meet all year, but the work of the committee
is especially intense in March, April, and May as they are
reaching out to prepare the draft slate for meeting review at
the May business meeting.
Nominating committee often makes specific requests of
members who have gifts in certain areas to serve on specific
committees.
The slate is reviewed and commented on in the May
business meeting and published as a draft in the May
newsletter for further comments. Then a revised slate is
brought back to June business meeting for final approval.
In June, they find two new people for the committee, as two
drop off the committee.
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Naming
Note: This committee has been laid down on occasion
Membership: Committee members are not required to be members
of Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Term: 1-year terms, 2-3 volunteers from the body
Duties: This committee will name new members to the Nominating
Committee (as members’ terms expire) when the new Wilton
Meeting nominating slate is presented. The slate is presented in May
and approved in June at Meetings for Business. Naming Committee
will fill seats as needed throughout that year.
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Peace and Service
Membership: Committee members are not required to be members
of Wilton Monthly Meeting.
Term: 1-year term; six to eight people
Duties: This committee is responsible for meeting outreach and
supporting the testimonies of Quakers. Because of Friends' historic
testimony against war and military service, their long record of
involvement in a wide variety of social concerns, and Wilton
Monthly Meeting's special stand taken in 1960 on the peace
testimony (approved by New York Yearly Meeting) the work of this
committee is an essential part of Meeting's activity.
Responsibilities include:
Supporting and engaging in education for peace. Every First
Day, we have announcements of upcoming events involving
Quaker organizations such as Friends Committee on
National Legislation or American Friends Service
Committee. This committee has organized its own forums on
important subjects concerning peace, anti-death penalty
speakers, and ecology.
Communicating with government officials about matters
with implications for peace or social welfare.
Overseeing a budget which has historically ranged between
$800 and $3000, including donations to local and national
organizations engaged in peace and service activities.
Oversight of our monthly commitment to serve dinner at
Westport’s Gillespie House shelter. This involves getting
volunteers to prepare and serve dinner for roughly 25-30
people on the first First Day of each month.
Counseling with young Friends regarding conscientious
objection to war and concerns itself with those who suffer
because of objection to military service. WMM maintains a
file of records and letters concerning an individual’s
involvement in First Day School, in case of a reinstatement
of the draft.
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Traditionally, encouraging WMM members and attenders to
march under the banner “People for a Peaceful Tomorrow”
in the Norwalk Memorial Day parade.
In the past, carrying out activities on Earth Day and
Mother’s Day to advocate for environmental responsibility
and peace.
Organizing events on themes related to Friends in Unity with
Nature and Right Sharing of World Resources activities.
Members of the committee have longstanding commitments
to Norwalk/Nagarote Sister City Project and other
environmental and anti-poverty groups and initiatives locally
and internationally.
Running fund raisers for the support of NYYM activities or
concerns of interest to the committee. SAVE (Serving All
Vessels Equally), Connecticut Friends School, ABCD, and
Norwalk/Nagarote Sister City Project have been
beneficiaries of past fund raisers.
All members and attenders are encouraged to participate in Peace
and Service Committee activities. Young adults in particular are
invited to serve on the committee.
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Physical Stewardship
Membership: Committee members are not required to be members
of Wilton Monthly Meeting. Traditionally 5-8 members and/or
attenders
Term: 3 year term
Duties: This committee is a combination of three previously
independent committees:
House and Grounds
Library
Hospitality.
See individual pages for descriptions of each sub-committee’s
Membership, Term and Duties.
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Yearly Meeting Representatives,
Purchase Quarter Representatives,
and Others
Membership: At least one person, member or attender
Term: Wilton Monthly Meeting has at least one representative to
New York Yearly Meeting, serving in rotation for one-year terms,
which begin immediately following Summer Session.
Duties:
The meeting’s representative to NYYM acts as liaison between
the Monthly Meeting and Yearly Meeting, facilitating
communication and understanding between the two
organizations.
They are expected to attend Summer Session as well as the two
NYYM Representative meetings during the year, or arrange for
a suitable substitute.
One member/attender for NYYM Representative meeting; it
meets twice a year to transact business not transacted at the
New York Yearly Meeting in July.
Through reports to Monthly Business Meeting and items in the
newsletter, the representatives keep the Monthly Meeting
informed of NYYM activities, and encourage attendance and
active participation by members and regular attenders.
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Purchase Quarter Representative
Membership: Members or attenders
Term: Wilton Monthly Meeting has three representatives to
Purchase Quarter Meeting, one-year each.
Duties: Attend Quarterly business meetings as representative of
WMM. Report to WMM Meeting for Business.
One member/attender for Purchase Quarter M&C; other
committees as needed (in the past, some have been
Scholarship, Peace & Social Justice, Nominating,
Representative, Ministry & Counsel, and Discernment)
Other Local Interfaith Council Representatives
(Westport Interfaith, Norwalk Interfaith, Wilton Interfaith, New
Canaan Interfaith).
Membership: Members or attenders
Term: One year each, renewable
Duties: Attend committee meetings and/or gatherings. Report as
needed to Meeting for Business.
Wilton: WI-ACT, the Wilton Interfaith Action Committee,
comprises about a dozen Wilton faith congregations. Liaisons to this
group, besides attending steering committee meetings, share in
organizing WI-ACT’s annual Stop Hunger Now project event,
enlisting hundreds of volunteers for the project, and also help to
organize fundraising events to pay for it.
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Membership
From New York Yearly Meeting’s “Faith and Practice”
Friends accept into active membership those whose declarations and
ways of life manifest such unity with Friends' views and practices
that they may be expected to enter fully into religious fellowship
with the meeting. Part of the essential genius of the Society is the
experience of growth through common worship and the loving
acceptance of an individual by the group. It is an open fellowship
that recognizes that of God in everyone.
Those inclined to join us should review carefully this entire book of
Faith and Practice and other Friends' literature so as to gain an
understanding of the basis of the Quaker faith, mode of worship, and
manner of transacting business. They should attend meetings for
worship and for business for a sufficient period of time to become
convinced that membership will nourish and enrich their continuing
growth in the life of the Spirit. They should be aware that this growth
may entail changes in every aspect of their lives. Membership in a
monthly meeting includes membership in the quarterly or equivalent
meeting, the New York Yearly Meeting, Friends United Meeting,
and Friends General Conference. Prospective applicants for
membership should also have knowledge of the Wider Quaker
Fellowship, the Friends World Committee for Consultation, the
American Friends Service Committee, and the Friends Committee on
National Legislation. They should discuss any questions or doubts
with members of the meeting, particularly overseers or members of
ministry and counsel.
Membership is a privilege and entails a corresponding responsibility.
Members should be prepared to give bountifully of their resources of
time and money. The shared ministry of the Society and the
importance of the proper functioning of committees and meetings
demand participation and cooperation. Membership is a commitment
to enter wholeheartedly into the spiritual and corporate activities of
the Society and willingly to assume responsibility for both service
and support as the way opens.
Only monthly and executive meetings have the power to admit
individuals to membership in the Religious Society of Friends.
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ADULTS. Membership may be extended to adults by individual
application or by certificate of transfer from another monthly
meeting.
CHILDREN. Friends have a particular responsibility to bring
children under the loving care of the meeting. Friends should be
sensitive to the needs of these young people, nurturing their spiritual
well-being and helping them grow into mature and concerned
members.
Meetings differ in the ways in which they encourage children's
participation. Wilton Monthly Meeting extends associate
membership to children under age 18 a) by written request of both
member parents, b) by request of a member parent and written
consent, if possible, of the nonmember parent, c) by request of a
guardian, d) by request of the child upon recommendation of the
Ministry and Oversight Committee. When persons who have
acquired membership in any of these ways reach the age of twenty-
three, Ministry and Oversight should discuss with them their
continued membership.
[It is] our desire that all persons on whom involuntary
membership has been conferred, either by birth or
through entrance of parents into membership, be
reaffirmed by commitment at an age which would
make this appropriate.
--Yearly Meeting Minute #13, 1976
All members age 18 and over are considered adult members for
statistical and financial purposes.
SOJOURNING MEMBERSHIP. Friends who expect to be
residing temporarily within the limits of monthly meetings not their
own may request from their own meetings recommendations of
sojourning membership. If their meetings approve, they may issue
certificates commending these Friends to the other meetings and
stating the lengths of time during which the sojourning memberships
are to be effective. This temporary residence may include
intermittent periods, such as that of students attending school or
college or of Friends working under concerns that take them from
home.
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Following the general procedures for membership applications, the
meetings with which they wish to associate may accept Friends into
sojourning membership, according them the same privileges and
responsibilities as full members but not including them in the total
membership of the meetings for statistical reports.
A certificate of sojourning membership does not terminate the
membership in the originating meeting.
APPLICATION. An applicant for membership should address a
letter to the monthly meeting, stating the reasons for wishing to join
the Religious Society of Friends and indicating the extent of unity
with its principles and testimonies. This letter, addressed to the
monthly meeting, is sent to the overseers or the meeting on ministry
and counsel, who should acknowledge it promptly.
The meeting on ministry and counsel or the overseers will appoint
from among their members a clearness committee, which has the
responsibility to evaluate an applicant for membership. Monthly
meetings without a meeting on ministry and counsel or overseers
will undertake this responsibility directly. Although not requiring
acceptance of any specific statement of faith or theological
formulation of belief, the clearness committee should ascertain by
personal visits the religious background and views of the applicant
and the person's knowledge and acceptance of Friends' principles and
practices. In particular, the applicant should be acquainted with the
varieties of religious interpretation existing throughout the Society
and with its emphasis on the loving spirit and teachings of Jesus. The
applicant should discuss frankly with the clearness committee any
reservations concerning Friends' beliefs and practices.
The clearness committee will explain the responsibilities and
opportunities inherent in membership. These include faithful
attendance at meetings for worship and business, service on
committees, sharing in financial support of the meeting, and
involvement in regional and yearly meeting activities.
The clearness committee will report to the monthly meeting on
ministry and counsel or overseers, who will then make a
recommendation to the monthly meeting. If the overseers or the
meeting on ministry and counsel report that they find no obstruction,
the monthly meeting may immediately receive the applicant into
membership. If the overseers or ministry and counsel feel that the
41
applicant is not yet ready for membership, they may postpone
recommending action until a subsequent meeting. It is then their
responsibility to become better acquainted with the applicant and to
offer such instruction and guidance as seem appropriate.
When the monthly meeting accepts an applicant into membership,
the clerk records the action and furnishes the new member a copy of
the approving minute. The meeting may appoint a welcoming
committee.
Each meeting has a corporate personality of its own so that it is
inevitable that there will be local coloration in the interpretation of
membership requirements. This should not be construed, however, as
license to impose additional requirements for membership or to set
aside the guidelines in this Discipline. The receiving meeting must
be mindful of the fact that it acts not only in its own behalf but in the
name of the Religious Society of Friends in its entirety.
ATTENDERS. Attenders are those who manifest a continuing
interest in the life of the meeting. Friends should welcome their
participation in activities of the meeting, but they may not serve as
clerks of the meeting, elders, or on the Finance, Advancement, or
Nominating Committees*, and they should know that it is the
members who must make the decisions in the meetings for business.
WIDER QUAKER FELLOWSHIP. This is an international group
who desire Quaker fellowship without formal membership in the
Religious Society of Friends. Further information is available from
the yearly meeting office.
TRANSFER OF MEMBERSHIP. When a monthly meeting
receives a request for transfer from one of its members, the overseers
or the meeting on ministry and counsel should carefully inquire into
the condition of the member's religious and temporal affairs. If, on
such inquiry, it seems proper to do so, the meeting should direct its
clerk to issue a minute of transfer and promptly forward it to the
monthly meeting to which transfer is desired. Transfer minutes for
those recorded in the gifts of ministry should so state. If objection to
a transfer appears, the clerks of the meetings involved should confer.
When the meeting to which the member wishes to transfer receives
the minute, its clerk should refer it to the overseers or the meeting on
ministry and counsel. Unless objection appears, the meeting should
accept and record the Friend as a member. Until this is done, the
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Friend remains a member of the former meeting. The clerk of the
meeting accepting the transfer should notify the former meeting of
that action. One or more Friends should be appointed to visit the
transferred member and extend a welcome.
JOINING OTHER DENOMINATIONS. If a member wishes to
join another religious denomination, the monthly meeting may grant
a letter of recommendation and remove the individual's name from
membership. When any member has joined another denomination
without requesting a letter of recommendation, the monthly meeting
should remove the individual's name from the list of members, the
clerk sending notice of this action to the person concerned.
RELEASE FROM MEMBERSHIP. When a member requests the
monthly meeting to release her or him from membership, the
monthly meeting or overseers should appoint Friends to visit (or
write to) the member and to inquire sensitively into the matter. If the
member does not reconsider, the meeting should release that Friend
from membership. The clerk should write to the former member,
quoting the minute of release. For reinstatement, the applicant must
follow the usual order of application for membership.
DISCONTINUANCE. After having made sustained and diligent
efforts to reclaim the commitment of those Friends who have lost
touch with meetings, monthly meetings may discontinue their
membership. Before taking that action, the meeting should have sent
letters of loving inquiry to such members at least once a year for a
period of three years. Having received no satisfactory replies, the
monthly meeting clerk may make a minute discontinuing
membership and so inform the persons concerned.
DISOWNMENT. A monthly meeting should not disown a member
until every method of reconciliation has been exhausted. Formal
complaints against a member should be considered prayerfully by the
meeting on ministry and counsel or the overseers. A committee
appointed to confer with the member should labor in love to try to
resolve the problem. Care should be taken to distinguish between the
deed and the doer. If the committee is unable to restore the member
to fellowship with the meeting, the matter should be brought before
the monthly meeting which will, if it still be unresolved, prepare a
minute of disownment. The member shall be given a copy of the
minute and the membership records corrected accordingly.
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A disowned member may appeal the disownment to the quarterly
meeting within six months for a review. If the quarterly meeting
upholds the decision of the monthly meeting, the individual can still
appeal to the yearly meeting.
When there is a review before a quarterly or the yearly meeting, a
committee of three should be appointed to represent the meeting
from which the appeal is taken. Review may, by common accord, be
conducted before a judicious and representative committee appointed
by the meeting to which appeal is made rather than before the entire
meeting.
See Wilton Monthly Meeting exceptions to Meeting attendee
committee membership under “Standing Committees” section
above.
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Appendix (Forms)
The following forms are at reduced size for informational use only.
The actual forms may be obtained from the Recorder.
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MONTHLY MEETING MEMBERSHIP RECORD
46
47
CERTIFICATE OF TRANSFER
48
INFORMATION AND INSTRUCTIONS ON FINAL
AFFAIRS
49